The Vulnerable Man by Thomas Anderson

Have you ever felt afraid to express how you really feel in fear of losing someone or someone not liking you? Afraid of speaking up about how you feel in fear of losing a job? Are you afraid to be who you are because you feel like if you are that person, you'll end up alone and friendless? Or maybe you're afraid of simply letting people down and them finding out that you are in fact not good enough. Hello, Book Thinkers family. If you are someone who has struggled with being honest with yourself and others about what you're feeling, I have an amazing book I'd like to share about today. The Vulnerable Man by Thomas Anderson. Now, this book is geared towards men, but I believe it would be a good read for women as well. This book shows a side of a man, Thomas, that many of us men have within us. A side that we can all relate to. This book lives up to its title. Thomas shares more authentically than I've ever seen in a book, and it's refreshing to see someone who I can fully relate to. Someone who isn't superhuman, but a normal person sharing their thoughts. Someone who cares and wants to help guide people to a better life. In many ways, I felt like I was writing these words, and they resonated so closely to me that throughout the book I had the thought, wow, these could be my journal entries. Before I get into it though, I want to share a little bit about who Thomas is and why he wrote this book. Thomas is an engineer. He had a successful career and was, from the outside looking in, succeeding by all measures. With a wife and kids, he looked like he had it all, but there was something wrong, something he felt deeply that At the time, he was unsure about. He is simply a man who went a long time without understanding his emotions and not allowing them to come to the surface. Then one day, he reached his limit. But thankfully for us, he kept a diary, and we can glean some incredible insights into ourselves through Thomas. Thomas is what they call a highly sensitive person, and he walks us through the challenges of being an empathetic and helpful He shares how constant self-sacrifice led him to be unhealthy, both physically and mentally. How the constant negative thoughts eventually led him to burnout and writing these words: I might as well kill myself. How many of you have been there? How many of you are there? Thomas wrote this book in hopes that it could help guide people to change their lives for the better, and I believe that that he did that, that he succeeded. Certainly he did for me. I'd like to read a couple of paragraphs that instantly resonated with me and may for you as well. I might as well kill myself. That's what I've been thinking. This is what I wrote in my diary, July 2015. The idea of suicide came and went, as it had done for years. When I was in my darkest place, these thoughts came out at night. And I made plans to make it look like an accident. It had to be that way because I'm a person who's always trying to help others, and suicide wouldn't allow my family to benefit from the life insurance. So how do I do it? Fall off a bridge and drown? Perhaps a car accident? I never spoke to anyone about these thoughts. I mean, what would they think of me? That I was mentally ill? I think that there are a lot of us out there harboring thoughts and feelings that we don't talk about. We construct a wall to hide behind because we are afraid to show who we really are. This wall can stop us from learning how to handle and understand our emotions and feelings. We get stuck in an emotional prison, either paralyzed, depressed, seeking different avenues of escape, or acting out triggered by different situations. We live in a society where we are supposed to be strong. We mustn't let our feelings show or be vulnerable. and perceived as weak. And this might be especially so for men. His book helps us ask important questions, and he even gives us a workbook at the end to help us break through old patterns and begin our journey to become a healthier person. This book takes you on a 3-year journey from a pivotal moment in his life to where he is now. I have never read a book that has resonated with me so deeply. This book isn't like others where it gives you this perfect formula on how to be successful or overcome It's not a 7 steps to a better you. Rather, it's a challenging book that asks you to take a close look at your life and see how you can change it from within. It helps you let go of who you're supposed to be and become what you are meant to be. It's filled with life lessons we could all learn from and one of the most honest portrayals of the mindset it takes to move forward and grow. He shares in a way that I found unconventional, but Refreshing. In each chapter, he starts with a diary entry and then expands upon the thoughts he had at the given time. I love that there isn't any filter in his writing. He is honest and open about the deep thoughts he was having, the emotions he was experiencing, and didn't show any shame in them. We've all felt like we need to let something out, to share, and because of conventional norms or societal pressures, we keep them locked away inside. But Thomas helps us break through that pattern, and he shares with you the questions he asked and the journey he took to get where he wasn't afraid to be vulnerable. The term vulnerability gets thrown around a lot these days, but this book shows you what that actually is, what that looks like, and why it's important. See, even a logical man has feelings, and those— if those emotions get left unsaid, you can end up in a dark place. What I love most about this book is that it's not about hacks and quick fixes. It's Not about a sudden aha moment that can make us shoot leaps and bounds above the rest. No, this book is a journey. It shows us that it's a journey, a process, and that it takes time to overcome all these things. It's about realizing things take time. To let go of the shoulds and the shouldn'ts and share what you must share to move forward. Since Tom has shared so vulnerably, we see that we can do it too. That these setbacks, mistakes, failures, they're normal, and we don't have to wake up and be perfect tomorrow. No, it's a journey. It's a long road, but if we can see that, we can start working through it. We can learn to enjoy the process. This book is for the person who's struggling with being themselves, with giving into societal pressures we have grown up with and trying to live up to expectations that are put upon us. This book is for anyone who longs for more, who is tired of having to be something they can't possibly live up to. If you feel like you're empty, not good enough, constantly busy and burnt out, this book is a guide to help you realize that you're not alone and you can break through to a better self. Thomas shows us how harmful it is to not be vulnerable in the long run. You can become bitter, overwhelmed, tired, and eventually burned out. Running away from your emotions can lead you to thinking things like, I might as well kill myself. See, we men feel a lot of pressure today, from not being allowed to cry, to be considered weak if we share a hint of emotion that isn't anger. Thomas shows us that it doesn't have to be that way. How with the right practices, the right habits, having compassion for ourselves, questioning the beliefs we have about ourselves, and vulnerably sharing about it, you can break free and become happy with who you are and what you're meant to be. Once you've read this book, you'll feel empowered to share, become vulnerable, and be your authentic self. Thomas isn't necessarily someone who's special, meaning he isn't some superhuman or guru with the ability to be vulnerable. No, he's just like you and me, showing us that anyone, even you, Can be vulnerable and break through to a better, stronger, and more resilient self. So ask yourself this: would you like to become who you're meant to be? To share more truthfully and openly so you can live a life you want instead of one in hopeless misery? Do you want the courage to step into yourself? The courage. Well, Book Thinkers family, this book is certainly a great place to start. I encourage you to go check out Thomas's other work, his website. He is doing a lot of awesome things. Thank you for watching. I hope you have a great rest of your day, evening, morning, wherever you are watching this. See you soon. Thank you.