Bombing or Mom

All right, how are we doing tonight, Grand Avenue? Let's hear it for Josepi, huh? Finally get him back. He's running the mic the way we need it. Can't do without him. So there we go. All right, people, let's tell some jokes at the pizza place. I've discovered that all women are bi. They're either bisexual, bipolar or bi. Felicia. Okay, seriously. But enough about politics. I mean, all that bullshit aside, I think we can all agree that getting your genitals licked feels good. We can agree to that, right? Cool. Been going through some life changes I'm working on. I'm working on changing some bad habits. I got. I'm a smoker. I know. Boo boo, smoker. My girlfriend actually is trying to help me out with that. She suggested I dip the end of my cigarette into my ass before I start smoking it. Unfortunately, now I have two addictions. I like to smoke my cigarettes and eat ass. Two filthy habits. But you know, on the upside, if I get rid of the cigarettes, no more cancer. Downside, I get hepatitis B. I already get that though, by eating at Chinese food restaurants a lot. Alright, so I got weird hobbies. One of them is that I like to think I'm a sexologist. So I do a lot of research. Some of the research I've done, I actually like to do shit that interests me, like continuous male orgasm. When is the prostate massage not considered homosexual? That's one of the articles I've researched. Another article I researched was. What was that article? The other article I researched was about the female ejaculation. Some of you ladies might know about this. The article was. Article was studying and surveying to find out if women can actually squirt or if they're just lazy bitches that don't want to piss after sex. So it's still inconclusive on that. I do believe that that stuff is not pee, though. At least it never tasted like it. And then the third article I read was pretty interesting. It said seven body parts that women can have an orgasm from if you can't find the clit. I was like, oh, shit. Those. Those Lost Boys, you know, they're gonna have to. They're gonna have to get busy because they have a hard enough time finding the first one, Right? But I was reading it. One of these body parts actually was the girl's pinky toe. Apparently the nerves from the clitoris end up in the pinky toe. Yeah. And I was thinking that those Lost Boys better develop a foot fetish if they have a hard time finding that clit. So. But I read another article that said women have. They've discovered that women have a sexual dysfunction. I was like, yay. Finally, women having a sexual dysfunction. Men never. Men always get the sexual dysfunction. Women never do. So. But the interesting thing was in this one, the sexual dysfunction was related to the fact that women. I know, right? My phone's blowing up. That's fucked up, right? What kind of fucking comedy. It's my mom. My mom's on the phone. Answer the phone. Hi, Mom. Hi, Mom. I'm doing comedy. Thanks for up my entire fucking set. Hi, Mom. Oh. All right, I'm gonna wrap that up. GPS is a problem. Figure it out. Google it online. My name's Tommy D. I'm out.

Keep it going for tommy d. Tommy K. Tommy, you and I have something in common.

Hi, Mom.

My mom would also heckle me while I'm on stage from a distance. I'm gonna keep the show rolling. To the next comedian, give it up for the highest energy performer in Phoenix, comedy, Darrell Hearn.