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When a child acts out, pause one second before responding. Name the feeling underneath (frustration, anger) to help them regulate, even if the behavior itself isn't okay. Then apply a consequence that directly connects to what they did.
When a child acts out, pause one second before responding. Name the feeling underneath (frustration, anger) to help them regulate, even if the behavior itself isn't okay. Then apply a consequence that directly connects to what they did.
All right, let's talk about 3 things to do after a challenging behavior happens. Number 1, pause. With every single challenging behavior, pause for 1 second because this will allow you the opportunity to think about what to do next, to respond instead of react, and to not immediately give emotion to that behavior. That will get you stuck in that power struggle. Number 2, if appropriate— I'm gonna give a lot of caveats here because not all challenging behaviors are the same, right? Number 2, If appropriate, name that emotion. We are teaching our kids emotional regulation all the time, right? We're doing this constantly. Name that emotion. I see you feel frustrated. Oh wow, you're angry. Sometimes just naming that emotion is enough to like help them just settle down, right? That emotion is not bad. Being angry, frustrated, upset is okay. Throwing a desk, swearing is not. But the emotion is fine. And then number 3, if appropriate, respond with a logical consequence. Logical consequences make sense. They are connected to the behavior.
