Discussing Video 1 of the Behavior Change Masterclass!

Hi everyone, happy Tuesday. So tonight we are going live to discuss video 1 of the Behavior Change Master Class, which I am super excited about. You might notice I'm in a hotel room right now. I am in Corpus Christi for 2 days doing a 2-day data PD, and then on Friday I'm in Huntsville doing doing a behavior change PD. So I'll be talking about a lot of the things that I'm talking about in the masterclass. So you're getting like a little sneak peek of some of my favorite sessions. So I am coming at you live from my hotel room right now. It's pretty dark in here. Sorry about that. So tonight we're going to talk about video 1 of the behavior change masterclass. I'm going to do a live after each video so we can have a chance to get questions answered, kind of extend on it. You know, the videos are short and sweet. They're like 10 to 15 minutes each. And I want to give the opportunity for you guys to ask some questions and for me to give a little bit of follow-up information. So if you are just joining us and you're like, "What's the Behavior Change Master Class? I haven't signed up yet." It is not too late. Click on the link in the caption. You can still enroll. You do not have to watch the videos right away. You do not have to watch them, you know, the second they come out. You can watch them at your leisure but I do recommend you watch them, you know, within the first 2 days because the next one is coming tomorrow. So on Wednesday, video 2, the starve it and replace it framework is coming and that is a super, super important one and I needed you guys to listen to video 1 first before we got to video 2 like there's a, there's a method to the madness, I promise. Hi guys. See everyone popping in here. So I want to make sure that you watched video 1 before you got to video 2. So let's do a little recap of video 1. So video 1 is about the behavior change mindset. So before we can get to the behavior plan, before we can get to the data, all that good stuff that I know you guys are just chomping at the bit to get to, we have to talk about ourselves, our role as the parent, as the educator, as the paraprofessional, as a clinician, and how our attitude, our perspectives, and our behaviors affect this whole situation. Because if we think we're not part of that whole context and the whole environment, we're wrong. So that was why it was really important to me to start this series with kind of putting the focus on ourselves. And one quote that I put into all of my behavior sessions that I quoted in our first video here is, "The only behavior you have complete control of is your own." Right? That's it. That's the only behavior you have complete control of. Now depending on your mindset, that might scare you. Or that might empower you. That's scary because you're like, dang, like, I'm the one that can fix this or can make this worse. Or it can empower you to be like, wow, I can take action to cause real and positive behavior change. And I hope by this video and talking about how we can have that growth mindset and the positive mindset and really think about how our attitudes and our perspectives affect what we do in our classroom and in our homes, is that that statement of the only behavior you have complete control of, you will be empowered by that. You're like, oh my gosh, I am the one that can cause real behavior change. And I'm the one that can help this student, help this child figure out new ways to communicate, because that's really our role. So this kind of brought us to the main topic of this video, this idea of the mindset check. And I, you know, we are all— I'm guilty of this all the time. We are guilty of this at different phases of our career and different seasons of parenting and things like that. And I mentioned one of the kind of anecdotes in this video was being stuck in reactionary mode. So as a young teacher, I felt like I had met maybe many years of this where I was permanently in reactionary mode, where I was just putting out fires. That was it. I was just reacting, reacting, putting out fires. I couldn't think long-term. I couldn't think about what was happening next month, much less tomorrow, because I was just always reacting, reacting, reacting. So I never had a chance to problem solve. So raise your hand or tell me, "I've been there too," or "Amen," if you have ever been or maybe you're currently in reactionary mode. Because reactionary mode is kind of this vicious cycle because we get stuck in it. And in that state of mind, we kind of start to feel helpless because we feel like we can't be proactive. We can't think ahead. We just have to like deal with what's coming at us. And we're never going to be able to problem-solve that way. And if we're thinking, "Oh, I'm helpless. I can't do anything about that," we're having that fixed mindset of not thinking that we can take action. So if you have felt like that reactionary mode— Brooke says, "Amen." You know, we've all been there. We have, you know, what— and we all could go back there too. You know, this is always that progress, not perfection. We're working towards this. We're never going to be perfect at having that growth mindset or positive attitude all the time. So in that kind of reactionary mode, we got kind of stuck. You know, we think there's nothing we can really do long-term, and we're always kind of just putting out those fires and that's it. And one thing that really— when I started planning this video and thinking about how I wanted to talk about this all was to point out that, you know, our attitude our perspectives, our thoughts can dictate our actions, right? How we think about the situation is going to impact how we're approaching the situation, and how we're approaching the situation, those are our interventions, those are our behavior plans, those are our strategies. So if our head is filled with negative thoughts and a "it's not going to work" perspective, then it's almost no surprise that maybe we're not having as much success with our behavior plans as we'd like, right? So it kind of makes sense, you know, that we have to work on our mindset first. And it's kind of one of these like, oh, mindset, whatever. But it really can make a really, really big impact. So we want to move towards that growth mindset. And I did a podcast, I think it was one of my first podcast episodes, I think it's podcast number 2. If you have never listened to my podcast, check out that one. It's one of the most listened to ones. About having a growth mindset as a special ed teacher. And I think that is so, so important because if we have a fixed mindset, we think this behavior is too hard, I'm never going to figure out how to do this, this is just who this kid is, this is just how the situation is, this is just how my year is, this is how my staff is, that's it, we're done, right? We have nothing we can do. We're just like putting our hands up, we're like, okay, whatever. But if we have a growth mindset and think, I can problem solve, I can figure out new ways to do this, I can learn, I can research, I can take data to figure out what to do next, then we suddenly have options and we suddenly have things to do. And that simple, you know, shift from the fixed mindset to the growth mindset— in the video I talked about adding the word yet or not yet or not right now to the end of our thoughts. Is so important. Like, everything is really hard right now. Like, that's a completely different thought than everything is really hard. Everything's really hard right now versus everything is really hard is going to give us kind of so many more options and really help us go into work or into, you know, interacting with our children in a more positive way. That this is just a season of life, this isn't forever, and we are going to figure out the best way to do this. So my question to all of you, we have a lot of people on tonight. Hello everyone. You guys are all missing Vanderpump Rules, my favorite trashy TV show right now for me. So I hugely appreciate that. Please tell me there's someone else on here that watches Vanderpump Rules so I don't feel stupid. So how do you guys keep your thoughts positive? Because this is a hard job, right? This is not a job for the weak. This is a really hard job, you got to be a rock star to hang in this career. How do you keep your thoughts positive? And how do you stay towards that growth mindset of feeling like you have actions you can take and you can problem solve and there's something you can do to cause change? So what are some things that, that you do that are successful to you? So while you guys are typing, I'm gonna share mine. So a few of mine because I'm majorly a work in progress in this area, but there's 3 things that I do that I have found success with. One of them being reminders. Like, just like many of our kids, I need prompts. Like, I need prompts a lot. I need to be reminded. I'm super— this is so cheesy, but I'm really into a good motivational quote. You may have noticed in the video, one of the downloads you can do is some of my favorite quotes about behavior. Post those in your classroom, post those in your staff lockers, on your bulletin board, just as that little reminder. I always have a sticky note on my computer desktop that I switch up with a quote just to remind myself about whatever kind of mindset type thing I'm working on, because I need that cue, or else I can get stuck in that vicious cycle of negative self-talk or that fixed mindset. The other thing that is is very helpful for me is being part of a community or whatever kind of setting I'm in with different people is to have the culture where people can call you out. And my husband is definitely the one that calls me out a lot when I am kind of having a fixed mindset of like, "Well, this isn't going to work." And he's like, "Well, it's not going to work if you don't say it's going to work." And it usually annoys me when he says it, but it does. It's again, that's that prompt. It's that cue that's like, oh yeah. And in a minute we'll talk about working with our staff on this. And that is something you can so instill with your staff. Like, guys, call me out when I am just having a fixed mindset. I'm being negative to be negative. And the last thing, which will kind of tie into talking about our staff and our teams, is watching your complaining and gossiping. And the complaining one is a big one for me. And when we complain, we usually find people to complain to who are going to be receptive to our complaining, right? They're going to be like, "Yeah, this sucks. This is horrible." And it reinforces our complaining. So then we do it more and we do it more. And it just kind of snowballs. And I have really found, especially with myself, that if I catch myself on the complaining and I shut it down, that I have a lot more success having a growth mindset and keeping my thoughts positive. So I'm going to go through some of your guys' suggestions. Keep, keep dropping them in. What are the things you do to have a growth mindset and to remind yourself to have a positive attitude? Love this one. I always use the word yet when my son cannot do something. Yep, exactly. Like, you know, he cannot do triple digit addition yet. That just means he can't do it today, but he's going to be able to do it someday. Every day is a new day. That is an awesome, yes, just a fresh start, right? Don't worry about what happened yesterday. Two of you said that, which I love that two of you said in a row, every day is a new day. And even writing that like somewhere in your classroom to remind your staff of like, you guys, if we had a crappy Tuesday, Wednesday can be brand new and a fresh start. Robin said, I think of the students' strengths. That is so awesome. Such a good point. Julie said, every child is someone's child and always a priority. Yes, Julie, amen, a million times. I say that every behavior session I do, because this— it's easy to get, you know, burnt out. And especially if you have a really challenging kid you're working with, it's easy to feel kind of down about that. But that child is someone's baby. You've probably heard me say this a lot of times. But even if that child is you know, 200 pounds and 18 years old and twice the size of you as many of my clients and former students have been, that child is someone's baby and whole world and you always want to think about that and remind yourself of that. That's a great point, Julie. Brooke said, "I tell myself and the staff that we are the ones who can help our kids and we have to be there for them." Absolutely. Katie said, "Praise, bringing treats for the paras and the kids." Yes. Totally, right? Reinforcement for everyone. Definitely the quotes. Yep. Good. I like the quotes. Someone else said a magnet at my desk with the word persistence. Yes. So it's those little, those little quotes, like the quotes are silly, but it's, it's a prompt, right? It's a visual prompt for us to be like, okay, the only behavior I have complete control of is my own. So when I'm getting frustrated, I need to look at how I'm reacting, how I'm setting up expectations. Nikki said, reminding myself of past successes can be really helpful. Yep, we live for like the little victories, the baby steps. So remembering those on hard days is so, so, so essential. Tara said, after 14 years of teaching, I'm constantly reminded that my mood reflects in my staff and my students. Therefore, I remind everyone who works with my students and staff that sometimes we need a break. And it's okay and it's not bad to say, "I need help," or, "Can I have help?" Oh my gosh! So true. Like, we are human, right? We have baggage. You probably have stuff going on at home. You had a hard time with your own kids, with other things going on. You can come in, in a bad mood. That is totally allowed. But we want to be able to ask for help and tap out sometimes, you know, so we're not kind of having that reflect and pour over to everyone on our team. Oh my gosh, so many good suggestions here. Sarah said, having kids changed my mindset. I 100% agree with you. You know, knowing that someone else loves this kid as much as I love mine, you know, that helps to, to be like, okay, I want to show this parent that, yeah, I will never love their kid as much as they do, but I get it. Like, I get the love you have for this kid, and I want to show, you know, my students' mom and dads that. Kristen said cutting down on complaining has really helped. Sometimes every minute is a new minute. Yeah, sometimes it's not every day is a new day. It's just every minute is a new, is a new minute. Really reflecting on how far the children have come. Sometimes that's really great. If you have kids for multiple years to think about like, oh man, when Johnny came to me 2 years ago, oh my gosh, he couldn't even sit at circle time for 5 minutes. Now he's at circle time for 20 minutes. So, you know, thinking about those big picture things. Can be really, really helpful too. Keep the suggestions coming. You guys are having amazing, amazing ideas. I love this. I'm gonna lose my voice before my training tomorrow, you guys. So in the video, we also talked about not only is your mindset important, but the mindset of your staff and your school community, right? So again, the only behavior we have complete control of is our own. So we cannot force other people around us to have a growth mindset, to think positive, but there are steps we can take to help others along that path. So the first one, which I already touched on, is the gossip and the complaining. And in video 1, I talked about how as a young teacher, I realized very quickly that the staff lunchroom, like I had a lunch all the time, yeah, right, but the staff lunchroom was not a place, that I needed to be. Because it was, it was a lot of complaining, and I left there drained, and I left there having a hard time reentering my classroom. And I realized very quickly that that was not good for like my mental state. So that might be, that might be a good thing for you to assess and reflect on within your school day, that maybe what settings, and maybe honestly, what people, which of your colleagues, which of your friends, like, do some self-assessments here, are just not productive for your mental state throughout the day. Because there are those people, right, that we know, we love them, we— maybe they're one of your good friends, but they're just a drain because they just complain too much. So you want to kind of check that— the gossip, the complaining, the just kind of venting to vent. One, and I've talked about this a lot of times, I also have a podcast episode on this, is watching how we talk about our kids. To those that don't work in our classroom. So in the lunchroom, in the hallway, at the copier, you know, people remember the bad stuff more than the good stuff. So if you at the copier at the end of the day, you know, mentioned to the second grade teacher in the hall, well, I got bit today, that might replace the 15 good interactions they've had with your class lately. Like, oh man, Miss Long got bit. Her kids bite. And yeah, we're like, well, I'm just venting, I want to talk about my job. But in doing that, we might be unintentionally creating a narrative about our kids that is not good. And so we got to give that good press and spread really that the positive things about our kids in our classrooms. And it's usually not people that have bad intentions. It's just human nature, you know, that you remember kind of the negative things more. Than the positive things. So not only do we want to watch complaining within our team, we want to watch complaining within our whole school community. And the school community is because we want to have that positive message and narrative about our kids. So why doesn't everyone drop in here one positive thing that they're going to commit by writing it on a Facebook Live and putting it in the public. I hear, now you're committed to doing it. Share one positive thing that you can share this week. So you've got 3 days with someone in your school community. It can be the cafeteria lady, it can be a bus driver, it can be a teacher down the hall, it can be your AP. What positive, and don't put student names or, you know, no confidential information, but what positive little anecdote, little story can you tell someone? And you can work it into conversation a weird way. It doesn't have to be like a smooth transition. Like someone's like, hey, good morning, Cheryl, how you doing? You're like, I'm doing great because yesterday, Johnny got 6 of his 7 spelling words right. And they're gonna be like, okay, didn't ask you that. But you know what they're going to remember? Like, wow, Cheryl's kids, they spell. Because sometimes people don't know that our kids do academics. So everyone drop in here something positive that they want to share, and that they're going to commit to sharing with someone in that school community about their classroom and about their students. Some little victory, big victory, baby step, whatever you want it to be. Share that this week and start to change that narrative. So while you're all typing those things, in addition to watching the complaining within the community, you also want to watch the complaining within your team. You are the leader. You as the teacher are the leader of your team. And if you complain a lot, then your team is going to complain a lot, your clinicians, your paraprofessionals. So yes, those are the people that get it. Those are the people that understand when you vent and your spouse or your roommate or your friends might not get it in the same way. But you are the leader and you have to kind of be that positive voice and be that problem-solving voice. So you want to really, really watch that complaining within your team. So make that a goal and put a reminders in for yourself on what you can do to make sure that you don't fall into that rut because it becomes a vicious cycle as well. And I've said vicious cycle, I think, 4 times on this live. The other thing you can do, the first thing I mentioned, you watch the gossip and complaining, and the next thing that you can do is to really, really praise your team. Say thank you, say thank you too many times. Tell them you appreciate them. Tell them thank you and you appreciate them on the really hard days. On the really hard day that feels like nothing went right, thank them and thank them sincerely because this can be a pretty thankless job sometimes. And when someone tells you that they see you and they appreciate you and they see your hard work on a day that felt really crappy, oh my gosh, does that feel amazing. Like I'm sure everyone right now can think about the last time their boss gave them a true amazing compliment. Like it's probably in your head, even if it happened 2 years ago, even if it happened last year, you wanna make sure that those true genuine compliments are frequent. Like they're happening all the time. We want to really give our team the acknowledgement that they need. And it's not that we don't wanna do that. I think we just get too busy because we have a lot of other things going on. We're in that reactionary mode. But this is something that takes no Velcroing, no laminating, honestly no extra time, 10 seconds here and there. Make it your goal that every single day you tell every single team member, para, bus aide, lunchroom staff, clinician, thank you, or something like, oh my gosh, like, I loved the way that, you know, you got Johnny to like, get in line so quickly, or I love the way you were working with Sarah on her books today, that was awesome. So make that a commitment to every single day. Say that to every single person on your team. And that might feel like a big undertaking, but you know, those patterns and routines work within ourselves. So once you get in that pattern and routine, it will really start to work. Okay, I want to read some of the awesome things your kids are doing. Brag about class attendance, kiddo independently tying their shoes. 2 students at the computer watching a video, sharing and didn't interrupt. That is huge. Student is using successful eye gaze device. That's amazing. Completing morning questions, following their student's IEP goals. Gained 21 points on a district exam. Awesome. Grew 5 grade levels. Look at all these awesome things. Student clapped after a song for the first time. Oh my gosh, that's amazing. Oh, your son for the first time told me he did not like something. That is awesome to be able to like advocate for yourself. So many awesome things. So I want everyone that wrote something down, and even those people that didn't, I want you to commit to this week telling someone in your school community something awesome that one of your kids or classroom or team did and really spread spread that like positive narrative about your classroom. So what has worked for me with teams that I've worked on, and this is within my own classroom, within schools that I've consulted in, in the role as a BCBA, so kind of in a variety of roles in a variety of different teams, there's two major things that I always come back to as being really successful with kind of getting the whole team on the same page, but in that growth mindset. Feeling positive, feeling action-driven, feeling like they can problem solve. Two things that work really well for me. One, rapport. You gotta pair, right? Just like we talked about pairing with our students, we have got to pair with our staff. You should know the names of your staff's kids. You should know what they did over the weekend. Set those real clear boundaries of when that chitchat is happening, but develop rapport, know what they like, know how they take their coffee, know if they like coffee. You don't wanna bring them coffee if they don't like coffee. So really develop rapport and that mutual respect with your team members. When your team members like you and respect you, they are going to want to work with you more because your praise is now reinforcing. If they don't like you or respect you, your praise isn't going to mean that much. So rapport is the big one. The next one, modeling, 100 million percent. You want to model what you want your staff to do. So if you want your staff to respond and not react when a behavior happens, you better be responding, not reacting. If you want your staff to not complain, you better not be complaining. If you want your staff to problem solve, to act calmly, if you want your staff to speak respectfully with colleagues, they better see you doing those things every single day. So that means model your growth mindset. When you have a really, really crappy day, say, "Today was a really, really crappy day, guys, but these are the things we learned because of this crappy day. These are the next steps we can do. And you know what? I know we got this because we've done this before and we can do this again. And this kid really needs us." and we are going to figure this out together. So model that, talk that out, talk that out in front of them. And it might feel unnatural at first, but it's going to start to feel natural after a while. So really think about not only how you can get your own mindset right, but how you can start to shift the mindset of your team. And sometimes, honestly, some of these changes alone can cause real, real behavior change within our classrooms and within our students. And we're obviously going to talk more about different aspects of behavior change, but I don't want you to discount how important this first step is because at first glance, like, oh, mindset, eh, take it or leave it. No, you need it. You 100% need it. This is like the foundation. If we don't have this foundation really, really strong, the next things that we're going to build on are going to be really, really hard to implement. So if you could have that growth mindset and a positive, proactive, problem-solving-based attitude, then we can get the complicated behavior plan, then we can add in the data, then we can add in the database decision-making. But we need that foundation first. So I love everyone's commitments here to share their positive narrative about, about their students. Love, love all these suggestions in here. And the other thing that I you know, encourage you all to commit to was to giving those pieces of praise and appreciation to every team member once a day. And, you know, this video one, I really encourage you to share not only this video one, but all the videos with your team. I've heard from a ton of teachers that said, I'm going to watch the whole masterclass with my team. I think that is an amazing idea, something you guys can go through together and talk about it together and how these strategies really, really apply to the kids that you're working with. So thanks everyone for joining me here on Tuesday night. Tomorrow morning you are getting video 2 of the Behavior Change Masterclass, and as much as I love video 1, video 2 is my favorite of this series. So video 2 is the Starve It and Replace It framework. So I'm basically going to try to summarize a lot of my ABA master's degree into a 15-minute video. Okay, but don't worry, you'll understand, and I talk fast, so it'll work. So tomorrow morning, that video is coming out. That video is the— it's the framework. It's a framework, but it is the bones of every good behavior plan. You need every aspect of the starve it, replace it model in what is going to be an effective effective and long-term behavior plan that makes real behavior change. Behavior change that generalizes into different settings and that lasts over time. And that's the goal. We don't want things to just change just in our classroom. We want it to change in all of the settings for an extended period of time, like that real, real behavior change. So that is what we will be talking about tomorrow. I will be doing a live, not until that following Monday. So we're gonna have like the weekend to make sure everyone can catch up, watch the videos. If you are just catching up on here and you haven't watched video 1 yet, I highly suggest watching video 1 before video 2. If you have colleagues that you think would benefit from this, they can still sign up. So have them click on this link, send the link to them, be like, you're only 1 video down, it was 10 minutes, catch up. These are great things to go through together. So it's really hard to find that community sometimes in this field, and I really always try to give you guys here the opportunity to develop that community. So think about who you can reach out to and who you can send this video series to so you can go through it together. Like, hey, watch, you know, watch video 1, I'm gonna watch video 2 on Wednesday, and, you know, let's text about it, or let's meet for coffee or happy hour on Friday and talk about video 1 and 2. And that sounds so dorky, but that sounds like a really fun happy hour to me. I'm sure you guys all hang out with your coworkers, and what do you do? You talk about work. So go through kind of these two videos and then the future ones together, because that gives you a lot of opportunities to really generalize these concepts and how they apply to your classrooms. So thanks everyone. My gosh, all your sweet words are so awesome here, you guys. Thank you for watching tonight. Thank you for watching the video. I hope you enjoy tomorrow's video. I will see you back here on Monday the— what is the Monday the 20th at 8 PM and we will talk about video 2. If you have questions on video 2, I'd like you to send them to me ahead of time and I will address them in the live. You can also jump on the live and shoot your questions in there. I have lots and lots of good stuff and there's an awesome download in video 2 that I want to make sure you get. So I'll see you all here next Monday and have a great rest of your week.