Magic Phrase 3. Give constructive feedback with this method.

28 Jul 2025 · 1 min

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In this instructional segment, the speaker introduces a simple, repeatable technique for delivering constructive feedback called “two stars and a wish.” The method involves first offering two specific positive observations (the “stars”) about a person’s work or behavior, followed by a single, gently framed suggestion for improvement (the “wish”). By structuring feedback this way, the speaker argues that the recipient feels praised rather than attacked, which encourages receptivity and motivates better performance. The speaker illustrates the approach with two concrete examples: one for a student with poor handwriting, highlighting the student’s interesting storytelling and character description before wishing for more legible writing; and another for an employee, praising clear reports and excellent analysis before wishing for timelier delivery. The overall message is that this balanced feedback style puts responsibility on the recipient while maintaining a supportive tone, leading to improved outcomes.

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My magic phrase for you today is in the form of a way to give critical feedback. So when the teacher sees that Johnny has terrible handwriting, she doesn't say, Johnny, your handwriting is awful. She says, Johnny, your stories are very, very interesting and the characters you describe are good, but I wish that I could read your writing more easily. And so you say one good thing, another good thing, and then something that you wish. So you might say to Jane, Jane, the reports you do are very, very clear and the analysis is excellent, but I wish you'd get them to me on time. And that helps you get results better. It puts the onus on you in a sense. It's what you wish, and it's not highly critical. It's some praise and then a wish. So try that method, 2 stars and a wish.