Some Christmas Jokes

Hi, here are a few of my favourite Christmas jokes. What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It's Christmas Eve! What did the mother say when her little boy asked for a puppy for Christmas? She said, no, you can have turkey like everyone else. What did the bald man say when he got a comb as a Christmas present? He said, thanks, I'll never part with it. Why did Rudolph have to attend extra lessons? Because he went down in history. I hope you like those. If you're scratching your head for some presents for friends, I would recommend some of my books, of course, such as How to Be a Brilliant Thinker for anyone who wants to think better, and And my most recent book, Lateral Thinking for Everyday. Highly recommended. If you want something more lighthearted, I would recommend this book, 1001 Pieces of Absolutely Useless Advice. And of course, it contains some useless advice for Christmas. For example, save Christmas cards and send them back to whoever sent them to you. With the added message, same to you! Don't waste money on expensive Christmas trees. Simply cut down a small tree from a neighbour's garden. This is best done in the middle of the night so that no one can see you. If you forgot to put your turkey in the oven, do not despair. Simply jam it into the microwave for 10 minutes while you serve your guests a delicious cocktail. And finally, be sure to mail your parcels early so as to give the post office plenty of time to lose them before Christmas. 1001 pieces of absolutely useless advice. And of course, I would also recommend this book, slightly more serious, 1234 Witty, Wacky, and Wonderful Words. And it has a couple of Christmas words in it, including Yule hole. Yule hole. an ancient Scottish word referring to the last hole in a waist belt, a hole that you typically only use at Christmas after you've had too much to eat and drink. And also in here is claustrophobia, which is a fear of Father Christmas. I hope that you receive and send some wonderful presents, and I'd like to wish you and your family a Merry Christmas and a peaceful and prosperous New Year.