Dr. Julie Gurner says successful people believe they control outcomes and treat failures as problems to solve. They use specific past wins, not vague ones, to rebuild confidence after setbacks.
And the people who will end up doing well, you know, they, they have an internal sense of, of control, an internal locus of control where they believe they determine what happens. But then even when they fail, they're able to say, to look at that through almost like a solver mindset. There's a way of like, I can figure this out. Like, I didn't get it this time, but I can figure it out. And sometimes those failures are, you know, really hard hits and you have to kind of start again. You know, even very successful people go to zero sometimes. Sometimes they have massive losses, and those things are both challenging both internally but also externally, you know, their reputation, their, you know, how other people see you. And so with self-talk, you have to be really careful that, you know, you can be your own biggest critic and drag yourself into the mud, or you can be your own kind of hype beast and get yourself back in the game and know what you're capable of. Because the evidence is probably there that you can overcome and you've overcome things in the past and you want to really use the good stuff as reference points and not use the things that are like, see, I failed now just like I failed like when I was in second grade versus, hey, like I may have failed now, but I remember when I was on the football team and, you know, we pulled it off somehow and I just dug deep and I found a way to come back. So we also have to find reference points to show ourselves and tell ourselves what we are capable of doing.
