#186 3 Tough Moments I'm So Grateful For

Hey, everyone, have you ever had moments in your life that seemed really tough and challenging at that time, at that moment, but later you realized how that led to something special, something great in your life? Maybe you can look back and see that you're grateful for those moments. In fact, it was life happening for you in some way. Today's a little bit more of a personal podcast. I'm going to talk about three tough moments in my life that I'm truly grateful for. So stay tuned. Welcome to the Passive Income MD podcast, where we talk about creating your ideal life through multiple streams of income. If you enjoy hearing hearing about this stuff, make sure to hit subscribe. Now, let's get on with the show. Seems like it's easy to be grateful for the good times. Maybe you get into school, your kid does well, you get an award, your team wins a competition, whatever it is, team wins a tournament, and you're so happy. And it's easy to be grateful in those moments. People oftentimes don't go back to the past and think about the tough moments. Perhaps it was tough to be grateful at that moment, but later on, if they look back, they can see how it led to something beautiful, something great. There have been so many moments like that where if I look back, I can see how that needed to happen for me to be where I am today. So we talk about three such moments today. Number one, the match, the residency match. We've all been through it. The rite of passage where you just put your. Your preferences into a computer, you get a letter, you get an email, whatever it is, and it tells you where your life is going to be like for the next, how many years, what you're going to be in terms of specialty and where are you going to end up and have to uproot and get everything together and move to that place. All your dreams and aspirations up to that point are focused at this one major time in your life and you feel like you could either be set for life or you can have the biggest disappointment. While most people know me as an anesthesiologist, today, the first time I applied for the match, I applied for a completely different specialty. I actually wanted to be a urologist. Maybe there's some urologists out there, great people, great specialty. That's where I thought my heart was. That's what my heart was telling me to follow and pursue at the time. Came out of that rotation in med school and that's all I wanted to be. And I remember I applied for it, was so excited to see what happened and I didn't match. I don't know if any of you have been through that at that time in your life, you feel like there's nothing that could be bigger in terms of a disappointment. Well, the crazy thing was that year there was an issue with the match. They realized that it got screwed up and they said, well, going to have to rerun this thing. I don't know if you're part of the match that year, but they had to do it again. And again my hopes got up and guess what? I didn't match again. Talk about like a double kick to the face. Well, that's where I was at at that point. I didn't know what to do. Yeah, I felt like a failure. It was hard to tell my family. It was hard to tell my girlfriend, who was now my wife. And I was not in a happy place. However, I decided to do something. So I decided to do a pgy one year in general surgery and I would apply again. So what did I do? I worked my butt off. I got myself ready to apply, had great recommendations, and I remember I had gotten close to the chief resident of urology, one of the chief residents of my institution, and I remember talking to him about wanting to apply again. And I was so ready and pumped up, and I was going to make it happen this time. Well, what did he do? I remember he pulled me aside and he and I were talking in his office, and he said, I know you want to do this, and I know you want to be a urologist and you'll be great at it, but have you ever thought about a different field? Have you ever thought about anesthesiology? And I remember thinking, what are you talking about? Like, you're the chief resident of urology, you're about to go become an attending somewhere. You and I have been talking all year about how to set myself up. And I don't know what it was that made him want to have that conversation with me that day, but he said, hey, have you noticed that a lot of the anesthesiologists seemed pretty happy, both the residents and attendings? It's one of these things where if you can possibly see yourself doing it, you should definitely consider it. He said, just go ahead and talk to them and ask them, and if you decide to go into that field, I promise you, you're going to be thinking about me every Christmas. He said about sending me a Christmas card. I still remember that statement. Every Christmas, I do think about them. But what I ended up doing was I ended up Talking to the anesthesia residents. I started talking to the anesthesia attendings there. When I was in cases, I was in general surgery. I started talking to them, and I was surprised. I was like, they're some of the happiest people in the hospital. It's not that they weren't working hard. They were working really hard. But they seemed to have a good balance in life. And everybody kept using that word. They had a good, balanced life. And I remember thinking, no, no, I'm so set in one way. I wanted to do this one field. But then talking to enough of them, I started realizing, maybe life has something more for me. Maybe I wanted something else different in life. Maybe this is my opportunity to take a moment, step back, and think about exactly what I wanted out of all of this. I was on this train to become a doctor my whole life, one step after another. Momentum was taking me in that direction. I didn't even take time to pause and really, really think about it. And again, all those conversations I had started to make me think differently about what I wanted. I talked to my family, I talked to my girlfriend, and it was getting close to the deadline, and I had to make a decision, and I decided to switch right then and there. I changed all of my recommendations to basically say I changed all of my recommendations to head towards anesthesia. And I felt really great about the decision. And if you're in my world, you already know the end, the punchline that I became an anesthesiologist. But people don't even know when I was applying. People knew that I was already pgy one year. And I actually got a call. I actually got a call from one of the programs that I wanted to go to, and they offered me a spot outside the match. They offered for me to just come right into that program. The second year. I wouldn't even have to take a pause. I wouldn't even have to put aside a year, no year wasted. I would be able to go right to it in the city that I wanted, at an institution that I wanted to be at. And I still remember where I was when I got that call. They told me that they were offering me that spot outside the match. And I went crazy. I told my parents again. I told Vicki. And I was so excited about all this. And I was like, this is happening for me. Like, I remember thinking this couldn't happen any better. And then I got a call the next day, and the program told me that they had made a mistake. They had actually meant to offer to someone else before me. And there was some confusion and that person had accepted, so they had to resend their offer. I don't know how you would handle that situation, but I remember just thinking, set up so low. I remember talking to my family. I remember talking again, saying like, I can't believe this is all happening, but what else was I supposed to do? I pushed through the match and guess what? I matched into that same institution. It was a whole crazy process that looking back, I can't believe all of the ups and downs it took to get there. But I ended up being an anesthesiologist. I went into anesthesia residency, had some amazing CO residents. I was in the city that I wanted to be in. I found a field that I was absolutely passionate in love with, OB anesthesia. And looking back, I just realized that all of this needed to happen for me to find out where I wanted to be, to get into specialty that I was passionate about, where I could make a difference. Absolutely love showing up for work. And I still think about that chief resident. I'll probably send him a Christmas card this year. I've been thinking about him. I think about him every single year when it comes up. And I haven't done anything about it, but this is the year I'll make it happen. That was one moment that led me to number two. After my fellowship in OB anesthesia, the I got my dream job. It's exactly the place where I did my fellowship is where I wanted to be. To me, it was the Mecca of OB anesthesia. It was the most fun place to work. It was the dream where if I got that and I got that position, I'd be set for life. As a junior. I started working my butt off. I was working tons of nights and weekends, sometimes up to 12 nights a month. I was pretty much working every single holiday. But I knew when I hit that two year mark where I become a partner, that I was gonna. That, that I wasn't gonna have to scramble for shifts anymore. They promised that the shifts that were gonna go to me would fill me up, that would bring me in terms of equitable position or close to it, and I'd be set for life again once I became a partner. Now, if you've been part of my world at all again, you know how the story went. I became a partner and the stuff that was promised didn't happen. Shifts that were supposed to go my way were taken by some of the higher ups. And that left me still with some of the bad shifts. I don't know if this happened to Anybody else out there where something was promised to you at work, at your job, and it didn't materialize. When things came, you felt like you had sacrificed delayed gratification for a moment that didn't end up happening. And I don't know how you felt at that moment, but I felt really upset. I felt angry. I felt like the rug was pulled out under me. I felt kind of duped, actually. And I remember sitting there angry for a while, I mean, at least for a week, where I was just. I couldn't sleep very well. I was waking up in the middle of night, My jaw was all tight from clenching my teeth. And I remember thinking, this wasn't supposed to happen like this. But I was able to snap out of it faster this time. Because of the past failures, because of the past issues, I decided that I was gonna figure something else out. I was gonna figure out a way to take control, particularly financial control, so that I wouldn't have to be reliant on anybody else, on bad shifts to good shifts, whatever it was. I wanted to make sure that if anything happened, I had a hedge. So what did I start doing? I started talking to other docs. I started talking to other physicians in the hospital that seemed to have it all together. They seem happy. They had a good life at work, they had a good family life. They seem to travel a bunch. They seem like they had that freedom. And I started finding out what was a common denominator for all of them, what was a common factor that allowed them to have this kind of life. It turns out that Olim had figured out how to create some sort of income stream outside of medicine, which allowed them to live the life of medicine that they wanted. It allowed them to take the time to spend time with their families, to work, to feel good about what they did, but also make it so that it's not the only thing they did. And it turned out the majority of them were doing this through the vehicle of real estate investing. So what did I do? I dove right into it. I started reading as many books as I could, started going to investor meetups. I started listening to podcasts. I started. I started finding mentors in the space. I started getting other doctors together. Talk about real estate. Whatever it was, I was all in. When it was outside of work, I was trying to figure out. I knew that I was just starting a family, and I wanted to make sure that whatever happened, I had total control. That led me to start investing passively, first in some syndications, investing as debt. Eventually, I started buying my Own properties started doing both of these, and it started creating cash flow again. It wasn't a huge amount at first. I always talk about that first paycheck, which was a small amount, but eventually they started adding up and adding up, and I could see the potential. I had hope that this could grow into something big. And eventually my medical income will be completely, I'd say, matched or made not necessary by all the new income that was coming in outside of medicine. And I became somewhat obsessed with this. And I started telling everybody, and because I started telling people, they said, you should probably share this with other physicians out there. Nobody's doing this about real estate. And so I just went out there and I started a blog. I started a blog, and it became Passive Income md. And for those of you who were following from back then, it was totally anonymous. I was scared about what other people would think about me. I was talking about things at, especially at that time, that weren't necessarily accepted in our space. How could we talk about living a intentional, controlled life both in and out of medicine? It was almost blasphemous at that time. Like, people would question your dedication to medicine if you talked about other things. But I wanted to live a good life. I wanted. Medicine was part of who I was, but I felt like it wasn't my only identity. And eventually, as you know, Passive Income md, the blog became podcasts, courses, conferences, communities. And without all of that happening, when I became a partner, I don't know if I would have gone down that other path. It was comfortable otherwise. It was easy otherwise for me to just have a good income to do well. I wouldn't have to look for anything else. And I can't tell you how grateful I am because the structure at the hospital changed, my group practice changed, and eventually it came to the point where people were forced, whether they want to continue this job as an employed physician with totally different terms or move on. The job wasn't the same anymore. And at that point, I was able to make that decision to leave, and I didn't have to worry about my family's financial security. It was at that moment when it seemed like everything was ripped out under me, that I realized that it took me on a different path completely. It allowed me to build a new business, allowed me to build new networks, to become more resourceful, to understand how to live life on my own terms. And it's completely changed the way I live my life today, whether it's with my family, my career, my friends, travel, all of those things. And it wouldn't have been possible if that stuff didn't happen in the past. So I'm so grateful for those moments today. And the third tough time that I'm grateful for today, as I kind of reflect on it, was that about five or six years ago, and I've shared about this before, is my father had some health issues. Always thought of him as a strong, stubborn guy. He was a colorectal surgeon. And one day he started having issues with numbness and paralysis on one side of his body. Turns out he ended up having a very large meningioma that was causing major issues. Again, they felt it wasn't malignant, but it was quite aggressive or rapidly growing. It got my father thinking about his own mortality for the very first time in a serious way. And watching him go through it was very, very difficult. He was initially in some denial about the surgery, didn't want to have it. We went through some struggles physically because he couldn't walk or move or take care of himself. We moved him into our house at that time when I had two really young kids. And of course, that was very, very difficult for our entire family dynamic. But we wanted to make sure he was taken care of. And what it did was it opened up conversations about life with my father that I had never had before. A lot of times, you know that people age and things happen and life is short in a way, but a lot of times you don't really address it, you don't think about it, you don't reflect on your life until it's too late. And at that point, I was able to have these conversations with my father that were really eye opening. We talked about life. I was able to ask him, like, what was the best time in your life? If you haven't asked this of your family members or somebody older, wiser than you, I would suggest you ask that because you're going to learn a lot about what's important in life priorities, and it'll give you some sort of perspective on what's really important and how you should be spending your time. What he told me that the best time in his life was when myself and my sister, we were younger and everyone was in the home and it was just so much fun on a daily basis. There was a lot of surprise. Every day, unknown. It was fun. We were trying new things, we were traveling, but it felt like everybody was together. And he said he missed that time, but he also said that he was working a lot during that time and going back, he would work less. And so I thought that about myself, I have two young kids. that time, I'm working, my wife is working. And I remember thinking, why am I giving up so much time right now? If this supposed to be the happiest time in my life, or potentially the happiest time of my life, this period, why would I give up so much of it? Working to create some future that might not even come, to create security for something in the future when my kids are out of the house, my health may not even be there. And I thought, shouldn't I change my priority? Shouldn't I change the way I use my time so that I focus on everything right now and make that a priority? Now, of course, I want to financially be able to still take care of my family, but the focus should be on how do I do that and still not miss out on the moments today. So at that point, I already had created some businesses. I created income outside of medicine using my real estate investments, and I started doing a complete inventory of my time very short. After I decided not to do any more nights, I realized that it was those night calls that were good money. But what's happening is that it took me away from the family. The next day I was complete mush and I felt like I wasn't there and present. I also started giving up my holidays. We were in a shift situation where I could just give them up, even though again, it's good money. Premium payment. At that time, I started just giving those up and it felt like a loss initially. At first it was something I had to get over, but I realized what I was gaining was so much more valuable. So today I really engineered design my life in a way that it prioritizes this time with the people that I love. My kids, my wife, my friends, my parents. And those other things help to support that, not the other way around. So, yes, even though those family health problems was a tough time, it was challenging. I remember just being completely stressed or anxious about it. It led to some beautiful moments and helped me shift completely my priorities and how I use my time today. And I'm so grateful for that. You know, we've had some amazing experiences. Travel, just driving my kids to school, picking them up, being there for the little moments like games or school performances that, you know, I didn't necessarily have my father for. To be there today. It means the world to me and it's so valuable and I'm so grateful that I'm able to be there for that. So how about you? What are some moments in your life that if you look back, Maybe they happen three years, five years, 10 years, whatever it is that at the time just seems so ridiculous, seems so challenging, that you couldn't overcome it. You couldn't understand why it was happening to you. Whereas if you look at it now, you realize the reason you are who you are, the reason that you're at where you're at today, was because of those moments. And if something had happened differently, you wouldn't be with the people that you're with today. Maybe you wouldn't have your kids today, maybe you wouldn't be in the city that you're in, and that you can find a way to be grateful for it. What this does and what it's helped me to do is realize that when these times and tough challenges will continue to come, I know they're coming and they always will come. That in the end, these things I know are happening for me in some way to help me create the life that I want. I'm also so grateful for this community. The more I get to know you at meetups, at conferences, whatever it is, I just realized how powerful this community is as a network, as a place where people can get together, share the experiences, help one another, support each other. And I'm so grateful for this community. And thank you for all of you who are listening, sharing with us, sharing it with others. We really appreciate you and we love supporting you in any way possible. Hope you enjoy this time with your family and we'll talk again soon. Thanks everyone. Enjoy the show. Let me know by dropping a review in the podcast app you're listening to us in. And if you haven't already, make sure to hit subscribe. Join thousands of physicians who are also on this journey to creating their ideal lives through multiple streams of income. Learn more at our website, passiveincomemd.com thanks again for allowing me to be a part of your journey. See you next time.