#239 Why You Shouldn't Feel Guilty About Spending Money

Hey, everyone, have you ever made a big purchase and felt really bad about it? Or if somebody asked you about it, you had to kind of make up an excuse or reason why. Why do we feel guilty about spending money? We're going to talk about these things on today's episode I know you're going to enjoy, so stay tuned. Welcome to the Passive Income MD Podcast, where we talk about creating your ideal life through multiple streams of income. If you enjoy hearing about this stuff, make sure to hit subscribe. Now, let's get on with the show. All right, everyone, hope you've had another great week. This is a topic that's super relevant around this time. Black Friday, holiday, spending vacation time. There are a lot of big purchases that are made around this period. And I know what you're thinking. Sometimes we always wonder, should I be making these purchases? Even if you can afford it, you start to justify or feel bad about it. Or if somebody notices or says something, you. You almost tell them an excuse right away after you tell them about this purchase that you made. For example, I was talking to a friend recently. We were both at a conference in New York together, and we both brought our kids, actually. And I remember asking him, hey, how was the trip over? And he said, oh, I brought all my kids over and we flew first class. And in my mind, when he said first class, I was thinking, that is awesome. His kids got to be in first class. But in his mind, I think he felt immediately judged by it or worried about it. And so he said, oh, you know, we flew first class. But I told my kids, these days, this is not usual or this is not normal or you have to behave or these kind of things. And I know he felt almost guilty about it, or at least he had to justify why it was okay. Why do we do these things? I mean, I think for many of you, maybe you made a purchase in your life. My wife likes certain fashion accessories or items, and she always tends to justify a purchase afterward by saying, oh, I could always sell this, or the price goes up over time, so it's really an investment. When I bought a car and I bought a Tesla Model X and my parents were asking me, what car did you buy? I told them, a Tesla Model X. But, oh, it makes a lot of sense because I'm going to save money on gas, I almost felt guilty for spending that kind of money. Like, I was worried about being judged, or maybe I was on my own personal feeling about spending it. So why do we feel that funny guilt when we spend the money? Especially when we're talking to other people. And I've really found it's down to two reasons. Number one, we're worried about what other people think. We have fear of being judged, especially that we're judged for spending money frivolously, over irresponsible for with our money. I mean, I think as physicians, oftentimes we don't like to show off that we spend a lot of money. I mean, we do buy nice cars. If you ever go in the doctor's lot, you'll see nice cars, but every once in a while you'll see a nice Ferrari or Lamborghini or things like that. But oftentimes, I think a lot of us don't like showing that we are spending excessively. And many of us have learned, especially in the communities that we're in, that frugality or minimalism maybe is a value to seek. Again, it's not a good thing, it's not a bad thing. It just is what it is. Or there's societal pressure. We already are seen as doctors who make a lot of money. We don't come across as greedy or whatever it is. We want to be smart financially, especially if we're in some of these physician finance communities. And so we have that fear of being judged. Who's ever felt that before? I know I have. I know I definitely have. I still do. And then the second reason, I think, has to do with the scarcity mindset. Now, that is like an internal thing. We're not worried about what other people think. We're worried because we have this belief that money is finite, there's only a certain amount. And if you spend too much, it'll leave you vulnerable, it'll leave you less secure, it'll limit your ability to do other things. Now, it's funny, because this mindset, which all of us have to some degree, it really is tied to the way you grew up, to the culture and community you're in, even just some of your personal experiences going through life, whether it's through residency, fellowship as an attending, maybe dealing with some financial issues, dealing with some things in your own personal life that impacted you financially. And that worry of not having enough, that's what is considered the scarcity mindset, only makes us grip onto that money tighter. So anytime we do let go a little bit, we start to worry. And that fear and that scarcity comes into play. So my question is, are both of these worries really valid? Are they important? Are these stories that we tell ourselves, are they true? Are they real? Now, when I Think about money, right? It's something we trade our time for. Now, if you've been in part of our community, you've learned to try to unlink some of that time for money trade. But the truth is, for most of us, that is still the majority of how we get our income. We trade our precious time for it. And it's true, time is a finite resource. So the way I started to think about it was this, and somebody reminded me of this. If we're trading something as valuable as our time, which is our limited resource, we only have so much of it. It is probably the most precious thing we have. We're giving up other things to create that income. Shouldn't we use that money to create and get the things that we want to create more joy, to create more meaningful things in our lives? So shouldn't we have that spending that comes along with joy and not guilt? So here are some examples of me. But you know, when I think about like that joyful spending, I think of it, you know, taking a family vacation that creates memories for a lifetime, treating myself to maybe something that I've wanted that might enhance my ability to, you know, enjoy life myself or help other people, and also donating to causes, to giving it to somebody intentionally that aligns with the values that we have. Those are examples in my life where I've really found comfort in being able to spend joyfully, knowing that the time I spent to create that money is being well spent and knowing that I'm spending intentionally. I think that intentionality really helps us so much in figuring out, hey, can I use this money for good things so that I can feel good about it and not have the guilt of feeling like I spent that money frivolously. At the end of the day, if you figure out what's truly matter to you and that's what I've really had to work on personally. And then I spend money in alignment with that. I find there's so much less guilt there because I know why I'm spending that money and what it's going towards. Hey everyone. Looking for a wealth strategy that offers flexibility and control? I mean, who wouldn't want that, right? Waystone Advisors has the solution. Waystone Advisors specializes in personalized wealth building strategies that go beyond traditional investing. And you know, I like that. By combining academically tested research with innovative financial solutions, Waystone empowers clients to pursue their most important financial goals with confidence. Founded on the belief that everyone deserves access to sound financial advice, Waystone Advisors is dedicated to helping clients plan For a future that's both intentional and secure. Discover more@waystoneadvisors.com that's w a y s t o n e advisors.com and start building your path to financial success. Now back to the show. I know this Moneygill thing has definitely been something I've been working through. Especially as I tell my parents, I'm buying this house, I'm buying this car, I'm buying this computer, I'm buying whatever it might be, spending money on a building, a pool in the backyard, all of these kind of things definitely had some element of guilt attached to it. So I've really learned to overcome that with a couple different things. I mentioned it before. Figure out how to do joyful giving and that really comes with shifting your mindset. Like I've reframed my spending, not as like spending and that money is gone. Now you can spend money on things and if you think about it just as things that you enjoy for a little while and then discard, yeah, you're going to feel like you're wasting your money. But if you reframe your spending as like an investment and you think of all of your spending as an investment, whether you spend time, more time with your family, creating great and amazing experiences. We just took an amazing trip to New York and just had a lot of fun. We spent a good amount of money there on going to a Broadway show, doing some fun sightseeing and staying in Times Square, these kind of things. But I will never regret that money that I spent because it creates some amazing experience with my family. And we continue to talk about it when we got home and I know we're going to talk about it for years. So I consider that an investment in joy currently and in future time. Money spent on my own personal well being, whether that's like equipment at home that helps me stay healthy or doing events or conferences that help with my personal well being and happiness. You know, part of that for me includes playing golf. When I get out there, I get outside, I feel good about myself, my life, and that's something that's super precious in my life. And maybe it's something that you found something like that in your life or making some sort of impact with my community, spending on other people that, you know, you're going to bring up the happiness factor, they're going to enjoy it. Whether it's me locally here in my neighborhood or whether it's the PIMD community, I never feel like it's money poorly spent. I feel like it's an investment for future gain and for future happiness. Now, if you also figure out what you value and actually are very clear about that, you focus on what you value, you spend in alignment with your priorities, and you figure out what those are, your guilt naturally fades, I promise you. And the last thing is to really detach from judgment, meaning that it doesn't matter what other people think. They have their own things going on in their own lives, and everyone's doing the best they can. Theirs. Don't judge other people in terms of. I don't judge other people and how they spend their money because they've got different values. And it's not a good or bad thing, it's just what they value more. Like, for me, I probably wear the same clothes pretty much every single day. I've had certain pieces of clothing that I've had for like 10, 12, 15 years. And that to me, doesn't bring me a lot of joy. But for my wife, it brings her a lot of joy, and it's an expression for her and her value, and she absolutely loves that. And I'm cool with that. And so if we can try to detach from judgment of other people, start with their, then we also feel less judgment from others. And so that we. It's really our own insecurities that really we become strong upon and our own choices become a lot freeing. They're really easy to make. And the other way that I overcome that guilt is I keep track of my finances. I make sure on a quarterly basis, I do some accounting. So I know from a personal finance standpoint where I sit financially, where I'm moving towards, I look at my net worth, I track all of these things as we've talked on previous podcasts, and knowing that I know what I can spend, I know that I can comfortably spend and not worry about putting my family in financial insecurity or having to make some other financial move that I don't want to make because we have some scarcity there. I'm able to spend freely because I know where I'm at and know what I can spend on certain things. And there's a lot of gratitude that comes with that, personally, knowing that, you know, I'm at a certain point or I've built it up to a certain point, I have a certain amount of passive income, and I created that intentionally to spend it on all these things. I know a lot of people, including some family members that I have, are just constantly work to save, and I think that's not a bad thing. But if you've Ever read the book Die with Zero? The truth is that many people at our stage of life, in terms of professionals, high net worth individuals, we usually end up passing at the peak of our net worth, which means we end up dying with a lot of money in the bank, meaning that that is time that was spent to create that income that we never even get to use. And so thinking about that from a mindset standpoint, I've always thought, how can I spend smartly to utilize that for maximum impact today? So I believe, and maybe many of you are with me, that life is way too short to feel guilty about spending money. It's definitely a tool and it's a tool to help us create our ideal lives, to create more joy in our lives, invest in ourselves, invest in others to make life better for ourselves and with for other people as well. And to live that life that aligns with our values and beliefs, whatever that might be for you. I don't know about you, but I'm tired of letting other people's judgment, other people's thoughts dictate my behaviors and my happiness. I think a lot of times in medicine we're so good at delaying gratification and pleasing other people, and that's not a bad thing. And that allows us to serve and have compassion for other people. But at the same time, if that comes at the detriment of our own lives and our own family life, I think that's where we have to draw the line. And so if I could leave you with this, what's one thing in your life that you spent money on recently that brought you joy? I'm going to guess it probably has more to do with an experience than a thing, but maybe it's a thing as well that has made a difference in your life and maybe in the lives of your family members, then celebrate it. Get used to celebrating the wins and the gratitude that comes along with having some of that income to be able to spend on yourself and others and bring happiness into your life. What is one of those things? Remember that money that you have, you traded time for it. So it's absolutely precious. Spend it well, spend it with joy and don't ever apologize for it. I hope that resonates with you and that you keep that in mind this holiday season. Have an amazing week and let's talk again soon. Thanks everyone. Enjoy the show. Let me know by dropping a review in the podcast app you're listening to us in. And if you haven't already, make sure to hit subscribe. Join thousands of physicians who are also on this journey to creating their ideal lives through multiple streams of income. Learn more at our website, passive income. MD.com thanks again for allowing me to be a part of your journey. See you next time.