Amber Hollingsworth argues the alcoholic label misses the point: what matters is whether alcohol causes harm. Most people fall in a gray zone where drinking affects relationships, sleep, or health but doesn't fit the stereotype. She offers self-assessment questions and practical support options without judgment.
Chapters
Are you a problem drinker or an alcoholic? This is a super common question, and a lot of people get stuck here trying to figure out which category they fit in. Because if you're just a problem drinker, maybe you can fix it on your own. But if you're an alcoholic, well, that sounds like a whole nother level. So you spend a lot of time and energy trying to decide which category do I fit in? But here's what I want you to hear. It really doesn't even matter. The label isn't what determines if you need help or what your next steps are. What matters is whether or not alcohol is causing problems in your life. And if it is, you don't need to spend tons of time trying to figure out which box you fit in or which label is right for you. You just need to do something about it. Let's take a look at why this question keeps you stuck and what to do instead. The word alcoholic carries a lot of baggage. It conjures up a really specific image in our minds. Someone who's lost everything, someone who wakes up and starts drinking, someone who can't function at all. And if that's not you, it's easy to use that as evidence that Everything's just fine. I'm not that bad. I'm not like those people. I hold down a job. I pay my bills. But here's the trap. You end up arguing with a word instead of looking at your actual life. You spend all this time and energy trying to prove whether or not you're an alcoholic rather than asking yourself a much more important question. Is alcohol causing problems for me? So forget the label. Let's just look at what's true. If alcohol is affecting your relationships, your sleep, your health, your mood, if you're thinking about drinking more than you'd like to admit, Are you making rules for yourself, like only on the weekends or only after 5 PM or only 2 drinks, and then you're breaking those rules regularly? Do you feel defensive when someone brings it up? Are you hiding how much you're drinking from the people you love? Have you tried to cut back and found it a lot harder than you expected? You don't really need a number of yes answers here because you don't need a diagnosis. If alcohol is making your life worse in any way, there's some level of problem. That's it. And that's enough information to decide you want to do something different. Here's something that the traditional world of recovery doesn't really like to admit that alcohol problems exist on a spectrum. On one end, you have someone who's completely physically dependent, drinking around the clock, in serious medical danger. And on the other end, you've got someone who mostly drinks fine, but drinks a little more than they should and ends up with regrets sometimes. Most people are somewhere in the middle. They're not in crisis. They're not at rock bottom, but they're also not okay. They're in the gray zone where the problem is real, but easy to minimize. The gray zone is actually really dangerous, not because you're going to die tomorrow. Tomorrow, but because you can stay there for years, maybe even decades. Your whole life can pass and you're telling yourself it's not that bad. It's not that big of a problem. And if you have someone in your life, like partner, spouse, a parent who's really on your case about it, it's even more tempting to stay in that defensive zone and try to minimize it. The whole reason why I want you to drop this whole, am I an alcoholic or not debate is because it's keeping you stuck. As long as you're focused on whether or not you're an alcoholic, you're not focused on what's actually happening, how you feel, what you're losing, who you're becoming, and you don't need to be an alcoholic to decide to make a change. You don't need to hit rock bottom to make a change. You don't need permission from anyone else to decide that you want a different relationship with alcohol. You just need to be honest with yourself about what's working and what's not working for you. If this is making sense for you and you want more videos that cut through the usual recovery talk, hit subscribe because on this channel we make content for people who don't fit the stereotype, but know that something needs to change. No labels required. Okay, now that everyone's subscribed, let's get back to our topic. So you're done So rather than arguing with yourself about whether or not you're an alcoholic, here's what I want you to do instead. Get curious about your drinking, not judgmental, curious. Start noticing when you drink, why you drink, how do you feel before and after? Ask yourself what alcohol is doing for you. Is it helping you to relax? Is it numbing something painful? Is it making social situations easier? There's a reason you drink, and understanding it is way more useful than shaming yourself about it. And then explore what kind of support might fit for your situation. Maybe therapy, maybe coaching, maybe an online program. Support group, maybe a medication for craving. There's a lot of options that don't require you to stand up and say, hi, I'm Amber. I'm an alcoholic. Start thinking about who you want to be, not who you're afraid you've become, who you actually want to be. What kind of partner, parent, friend, professional? Does drinking align with that person? You can spend the rest of your life arguing about whether or not you're an alcoholic, or you can just admit that alcohol is causing some problems and then decide to do something about it. You don't need a label to change. You do. Don't need to hit a certain threshold of bad enough. You just need to be honest with yourself. If you're ready to explore what that looks like without shame, without labels, I've got a lot more videos on this channel that can help. And if you want more personalized support, check out the links for resources in the description.
