Is Your Addicted Loved One Making Progress In Recovery?

One of our viewers recently submitted a question or a video topic idea, and this viewer wanted to know, how does one know if treatment really worked? Well, of course, that's simple. The person stays clean and sober forever and ever afterward, right? No, that's not really the measure of whether or not treatment worked or not. But no worries. In this video, I'm going to tell you, what are the indicators of successful treatment. For those of you who are new here, welcome to Put the Shovel down, the YouTube channel dedicated to helping you understand the science and psychology of addiction. So you can stay five steps ahead of it. And my name is Amber Hollingsworth. I have been in this field for a long time, about 16 years or so, and I spent a good amount of that time working in the treatment system. So let's talk about what makes successful treatment versus unsuccessful treatment. Now, I already gave you one little hint, which is it's not about whether or not a person ever uses a drug or alcohol again. It's about what happens on the inside of that person, psychologically, spiritually. Are they getting to the root of the issue? Those are the things that you need to look for. So sign number one that indicates a successful treatment episode is the person actually opens themselves up to the recovery process. Now, you might think, well, well, they're in treatment. Doesn't that mean they're opened up to the recovery process? No, it actually doesn't. I've seen tons and tons and tons of people go to treatment and comply and maybe be clean, as in not using any drugs or alcohol, but resist the process the whole way. It's like they're fighting it the whole time. It's like being compliant enough to not get kicked out. But their heart isn't opening up to the process. They're not absorbing the information. They're just not having what I call the spiritual shift. Maybe a couple of examples of help. Just this week, I was talking to a few young men who are coming near to the end of their treatment. And just listening to how they talk to me, it is completely apparent that they've actually opened themselves up to the treatment process. And here's how I can see that. You see, I can see it because they can both talk to me about how they've learned that structure helps them feel better during the day. They can talk to me about how certain behaviors trigger certain other behaviors in other people and how that affects their mood and their cravings and that sort of thing. And most importantly, they can talk to me about how their own behavior contributes either to their successes or their failures. Because what's really happening here is a person is learning to have more control over their environment, over their mood, over their relationships, over their self esteem. And the more in control they feel of those things, the less need they're going to have for drugs and alcohol after treatment. Now a second sign that I think is a really good indicator of successful treatment is the person's walls come down. And you can tell this because they're much less defensive. They're able to have conversations with some humility, but also with some assertiveness. And they're able to be a little bit more honest. They don't have to constantly protect themselves and their ego because it's actually a sign that their ego is finally strong enough that their self esteem good enough that they don't need to put up all these walls and barriers and defense mechanisms. And so what you start to see is all that just sort of melts away. Now this doesn't happen all at once. This is sort of a ongoing slow process. And every now and then you may see some of those defense mechanisms come back up or sort of flare up or show themselves. But pretty quickly, if a person is really working a recovery program, they're able to recognize what's happened, process through that, and sort of take those defense mechanisms back down. Now the third symptom that's an indicator of successful treatment is the fact that the person found a system. It doesn't matter to me what that system is, but it needs to be some sort of system of recovery that they believe in and that works for them. So if that's 12 step, if that's counseling, if that's a recovery program at church, like Celebrate Recovery or Regen or something like that, as long as they have a program that they've worked, that they've had success with, that they believe in their heart, what that means is in the future, if they should have trouble, they have something to come back to. They know exactly where to go, how to get help, how to access it, how to work the system. Which pretty much means they're going to know how to get themselves back on track. Now I know that a lot of my viewers watch my videos because they're family members of a loved one that has a drug or alcohol problem. And I know you're terrified, scared out of your mind for the possibility of relapse because life before was so miserable. You're just desperate not to have to go back to those times. Which by the way is a very valid feeling. But the problem is it's like your whole sense of well being is now tied to whether or not someone works their recovery program, whether or not someone's clean and sober, which makes you feel kind of powerless and out of control. So here's my advice on that. Try really hard not to let the fear of relapse control you and hold you hostage. If that person relapses and they've had successful treatment in the past, then that means the seeds of recovery are in them. Once you understand recovery, you can't go back. You can use again, but you cannot unknow what you know. It's a truth that's been planted deep inside of there that when people relapse, they can run from it, they can try to block it, they can try to hide it, but deep down inside, they know what they're doing on a different level than they knew before, and they know what it's going to take to fix it. And they probably built some positive relationships along the way, and they know that all they have to do is reach out and ask for some help. So if relapse happens, remember, it's not a sign that treatment was unsuccessful. It's really more a sign of how cunning and baffling addiction really is. Have you or a loved one ever had an unsuccessful treatment episode? What would be the signs and symptoms that treatment did not work? What are the signs and symptoms that treatment was unsuccessful? Now, obviously we want everyone to get their life on track and never have any more roadblock are stumbling ahead. But the reality of it is that's really not the way it works for most people. Unfortunately, recovery takes a little trial and error before you really figure it out. Now, as a bonus, I have a resource for you to help ensure that you're able to successfully navigate those obstacles and roadblocks of early recovery. This is actually the very same resource that we give new clients that come to see us at Hopeer Families. When we get a new client that starts our program, we set them up immediately with what we call the 30 day jump start program, which is just a series of messages that come to your phone with like a little bitty short video every day. These videos help you stay motivated. They help you sort of identify possible roadblocks, and there's a lot of helpful tips in there about how to keep your relationships in a good, healthy status. Now I'll put a link to the 30 day jumpstart in the description below and you can get immediate access for yourself or for a loved one. Now, next up, I want you to watch the series on relapse prevention. I'm going to put it right up here, so just click the video.