Railey Molinario says how you start a difficult conversation shapes everything that follows. Set it up right: private space, no distractions, face-to-face if possible. Then relax your body with shoulder rolls or a drink so you both stay collaborative instead of defensive.
How you start a conversation significantly impacts how that conversation will go. So what we want to do is we want to make sure that we first create a safe space. What does that mean? That means that there's enough time to have the conversation. It means that the kids aren't running around making a lot of noise. I'm gonna sit my husband down and I'm gonna have this conversation. We're both sitting down, we have plenty of time to talk. I can talk to him openly without anyone listening, and we are having the conversation face face in person. If you have a long-distance relationship and the conversation can't wait, then my suggestion is that you have the conversation over video chat. It's the next best thing. When we have this conversation, we want to be relaxed because what a lot of people do is they're like, oh, we're gonna have this fight and I'm gonna— and they put the boxing gloves on, they're ready, their chest is puffed, and they're ready to knock out the other person. We want to be relaxed. Do a few shoulder rolls, get a glass of wine or a cup of tea, light a candle, put some music, because we want both of us to find a solution.
