A woman has spent $30,000 supporting her partner's trips, rent, and bills while he relies on wishful thinking. She's exhausted by his defensiveness and says the relationship ends if nothing changes. He admits he needs to stop making excuses and start keeping real promises.
Do I really have a partner or am I a caretaker?
You said, we will likely divorce if things continue on as they have.
I am supporting his career and I am the safety net and I'm taking care of everything. It's about $30,000 of trips and things and rent and bills over the years that I've just been covering.
James, how does that strike you?
I mean, it made me feel guilty and kind of forced me to confront the realization that I had been Getting by on a lot of wishful thinking financially and making promises based on that.
And when you had this argument, was the dynamic you sharing these things and James agreeing and saying, I will do better?
Yes. And with some defensiveness. I'm just done with the defensiveness and the excuses and the reasons why, like, we need to make changes. And I can't literally keep doing this anymore.
