Atheist dies, reveals GOD is DIFFERENT than what you think! | Ray Catania

It was almost like I was removed just before the pain kicks in. I was above it and the room was a perfect square and I was in the upper left hand corner of the room looking down at my lifeless body. It sounds really scary, but actually for some strange reason, I was not scared. In fact, I felt great. I felt wonderful. It was one of the greatest feelings that I've ever experienced in my entire life. I adjacent from me in the opposite corner was a bright white cone shaped light, almost like a spotlight that was on my energetic self. Not my dead self, but my energetic self. And I was commingled with the light. Like in other words, I was one with that light. The feeling of euphoria just increased as I went into the light.

Life is but a dream. Life is but a dream. Life is but a dream.

Yeah.

Hello you beautiful souls. Welcome to the Praise the Sun podcast where I'm honored to have all my guests. Ray Catania. Ray, how are you doing?

I'm doing very well, Sage. Thank you for having me as your guest.

Thank you. Thank you for accepting the invite and being on the show. I love, love, love talking about near death experiences. I love talking about spirituality and I love getting this, these stories out there because stories are just kind of what makes the world more informed and knowledgeable about the potentials of reality and, and open, opening people's minds and awarenesses. So for our audience who have not heard your story yet, could you give us a introduction into who you are and how your near death experience happened?

Oh, sure. So my near death experience, I was 20 years old and I was still living in my parents home and my bedroom was located on the second floor. On the first floor. Directly beneath my bedroom was a kitchen. And the stove in that kitchen ran on natural gas and natural gas rises and there was a leak. So the gas leak, we really don't know how many hours it was going on for, but I was inhaling the fumes all night long while I was sleeping. In the morning, I guess my mother woke up and went to turn the stove on and there was a big ball of flames and it set fire to the wall. Wasn't a big fire. In fact, I think my father was able to put it out with a fire extinguisher long before the fire department got there. But I had been upstairs inhaling the gas. So it wasn't the fire or the smoke, but it was the gas that got me. And I heard the fire trucks, I heard the police cars and the walkie talkies and all that. And I was trying to get out of bed to see what was going on downstairs. I didn't know anything yet. And when I tried to get up from my waist down was just like paralyzed. If my legs felt like they weighed thousands of pounds, I just couldn't really get them to move. And my head, I couldn't get her off the pillow either, which made it really hard to yell and say, you know, I couldn't really say help. I tried, but my arms worked. And this is what I used to pull myself to the side of the bed. And I just kept pulling and pulling until I would get out of bed, hopefully because I knew something was really wrong with me. And I knew if I didn't get out of the bed, I was going to die. So I just kept pulling myself. I got to the edge of the bed eventually and I tumbled out and I hit the floor face first. And what makes this interesting is I hit the floor with my face. And I know that happened, but there was no pain. And that's because in that moment I wasn't in that body anymore. It was almost like I was removed just before the pain kicks in and I was above it. And the room was a perfect square and I was in the upper left hand corner of the room looking down at my lifeless body. And it sounds really scary, but actually, for some strange reason, I was not scared. And in fact I felt great. I felt wonderful. It was one of the greatest feelings that I've ever experienced in my entire life. Adjacent for me in the opposite corner was a bright white cone shaped light, almost like a spotlight that was on my energetic self. Not my dead self, but my energetic self. And I was commingled with the light. In other words, I was one with that light. And the feeling of euphoria just increased as I went into the light. At the end of the light was a being. I was apprehensive because I don't know where this light goes to, but I felt drawn to go in. But I guess I hesitated. And there was a being at the end of the light that said it was safe to come into the light. So you can come in, Ray, it's safe. And so I did. And as I proceeded and I got a little bit more in, a little bit more in, the euphoria increases. And I. I would love to be able to find some words that, to really describe this feeling. This light comes with love, painlessness, freedom, total euphoria. It's just unbelievable. And I've done a lot of drugs in my day and trust me, this is the Greatest feeling I've ever felt in my life. And so I'm probably halfway down. I want to get to the other side. I want to see what's on the other side. And my father kicks in the door, and he scoops me up, and I see him, and he's distraught. He's crying, he's yelling for the paramedics. My son. My son. Come help my son. And this was unusual, believe it or not, for him, because my entire life, we didn't have a very good relationship. In fact, my childhood was pretty tumultuous, to say the least. A lot of drama, trauma, fighting, arguing, the whole nine yards. And to avoid that, as a kid, I would hide. I would hide in my room or in the basement or something to stay away from what was transpiring. Anyway, so getting back to the nde, I see this, and I'm seeing this man who, you know, I never really felt that kind of love from. And now he's expressing it when I'm dead. So seeing that made me want to go back. And I actually asked the being if I could go back. And I did, obviously. But I wasn't in his arms when I woke up. I was actually downstairs, and I was on the living room floor, flat on my back, and the paramedics were working on me with their tools and equipment. And when I woke up, I still had that euphoria that was running through my entire body and every part of my body. And I said, what are you guys doing? What are you doing? I feel great. I feel incredible. I've never felt better in my life. And they're like, son, you are not okay. You are none of those things. And you're going to the hospital, so just shut up. And I'm like, no, no, no. Didn't you. Didn't you see the light? Didn't you hear the voice? And now these guys are looking at each other like, what's wrong with this guy? And I just kind of shut up because I didn't want to be brought to the wrong hospital, if you know what I mean. So I just kept my mouth shut, let them do what they had to do, and took me to the hospital. I was released the next day. And, you know, back then, I didn't have a way to go about finding out what just happened. In other words, I have no idea what an NDE is. Before that, my life was, you know, like I said, very tumultuous and a lot of PTSD from childhood. So I really wasn't a believer in anything. In fact, My first book is called the Atheist and the Afterlife because it's the transition from being a non believer to seeing something undeniable. But, you know, even when I told my mother what had happened, she said that never happened. Don't ever tell anybody people think you're crazy. You know, just never say that again. That's not what happened. Okay, I'm crazy. I was always told that even though I could see energy, I could feel energy. I felt like some of that energy was alive. I never yet saw the energy as a person or anything, but it felt very much alive. And anytime I brought that up as a child, well, forget about it. Again, I was just labeled crazy. So I kind of learned to suppress this, told myself I was crazy and forget about it. And here's how I chalked it up, actually, so I didn't have to deal with it. I figured I fell out of bed and I fell in front of a window, which is true, and the sun was shining on me, and that was probably the white light. And I inhaled so much gas that I was hallucinating the being and everything else. And that's how I justified this. And I put it away so I didn't have to deal with it. We didn't have computers yet. We didn't have cell phones. So it wasn't like I could just get on a computer and search nde, which I wouldn't have known what that meant anyway. So I just chalked it up to that and went about my life. And it was about a year or two later that I moved out of that house and got my own place. And I was pretty excited because I'm a young kid guy, and I'm like, we're gonna have, you know, parties, and this is gonna be great. And, you know, none of that ever happened. And here's why. Being a kid who could sense energy and see it, and then crossing over at 20 and coming back, I was kind of like an open portal for any. Anything in the afterlife. Anyone in the afterlife. But I don't understand this at all. And when I moved into this apartment, I was. It was just me. And I would feel like the room was filled with people and you could feel the emotion that came along with their energy. So. But I have no idea what this is. So I think I'm losing my mind because after all, I was told I was crazy my whole life. And needless to say, anything electric did not work properly. And I would call the maintenance man over and over and over, and finally he would come up and say, kid, Listen to me. There's nothing wrong with your place. There's nothing wrong with your electricity. Never call me again. You're just crazy. Here I am crazy again. So I start to accept that as fact. And they. When I say they, I mean the energy. They don't let me sleep. I had the worst case of insomnia that I've ever had living in that apartment. And I started to drink really heavily and use drugs, anything that would make me pass out so I could get to sleep. This became a problem. This became an addiction. Eventually, finally, I couldn't take it anymore and I moved out of the apartment, thinking, well, I'm going to move into a new apartment. It'll be different. But it was the same thing, just in another place. It wasn't the house that was haunted. It's me, so to speak. So. But again, I don't understand this. I don't know what that is. The only thing I think it is is I'm losing my mind. So what do I do? More drugs, more alcohol, more things to suppress it, make it go away, and make it so I don't have to deal with it. Trying to hold on to these atheistic beliefs or. Which really just stemmed from me rebelling against my parents. That's really all it was. So I'm living in the second apartment. Exactly. Same thing transpires. And then I would say it's probably several years later that I get married and I have two kids now. I basically went through the beginning of my life not caring if I lived or died. I think in the back of my mind, I really knew that I had seen the light and it was a beautiful thing. So I just wasn't afraid of death, I wasn't afraid of dying. And I really didn't have too much to live for. Excuse me. So I would do things, put myself in harm's way a lot. And it almost became like I tried to up the ante and up the ante and be in worse situations and worse situations. And I write about a lot of these in the book, and it's just the no holds barred experience. They're all in there. And one particular time I was working at a nightclub and it was after hours and I was pouring some drinks for some of the guys and I went to grab a bottle of something. I had to bend down and go under the counter to get it. And I hear, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. And I know it's not firecrackers, but while I'm down there, I'm trying to figure Out. How am I going to get out of here? And the being the same one says, side door, side door. And I'm looking at the side door and I can see it. But I. I'm thinking, I can't make it there without being seen by the shooters. It's just not going to happen. But I have no other alternative. So I go for the side door, and I make it out the side door. But then I have to make a left and go down this long corridor. It's like 40ft before you get to the next side door, which was a fire exit. And then that would take me outside. And I made it, obviously. But here's the interesting part of this. I parked my car right outside that door, and I never parked there. In fact, I had my own parking space, and it was on the other side of the building. But for some reason, I put my car there right outside that door. No idea why. Now I do, I think, anyway, so I was able to get out of that situation. And there's several of those type situations. In fact, there's one when I was very, very young, and I was about, I don't know, maybe 10 years old or so, and I was swimming in the ocean, and I swam out a little too far, and the undertow was making it, so it was pulling me back even farther. And there was maybe 10 kids on the other side, and I was the only kid that was on this side of where the lifeguard was paying attention to. So in other words, whether he knew I was there or not, there was 10 kids to save or one kid to save. Right. So he went for the 10. And now I'm left and I'm starting to panic, and I'm starting to think, well, I'm going to die. And when panic sets in, you know, that's the worst thing that can happen. But it did. And what happened in that moment was that being came and said, calm down, swim sideways and take all the time you need. Calm down, swim sideways, take all the time you need. I wasn't able to calm myself down, but a feeling of calmness all of a sudden just overtook me. I didn't do that, but it was there. And I did swim sideways on an angle, which is what I later learned you're supposed to do when you're caught in an undertow. But at 10 years old, I would have no idea. And I made it to shore, and I just took my time. I wasn't in a rush. I wasn't trying to get out fast. I was just, this is going to take as long as it takes and I'm going to get there. And finally I did. I made it to shore and I just collapsed. So there's many other times when this being has shown to be the greatest help that I've ever had in my life. So getting back to when I get married, I have two kids and they pretty much changed my life because they're my reason for living. Now I can't live this lifestyle. No more drugs and alcohol. I check into rehab, I need to get a regular job. So I go back to college, I get my degree, I get a real job. I do very well, work my way up the ladder, get another job, work my way up the ladder. I did well again and just kind of learning to deal with my quote, unquote insanity by learning how to ignore it. And this. I felt like I was in a position. I felt like I was in a good place for the first time in my life. And by this time I'm in my mid to late 40s and I decide, you know, I had dated and stuff, but nothing serious, because I didn't want to bring another woman into the lives of my children when they were young. So I waited until they were late teens, I believe, and I decided to go online and I was going to meet somebody because, hey, that's how we do it nowadays, right? And I remember going through the different websites to try to pick one and they give you, like, examples, so to speak, of women that live in your area to try to get you to join the site, right? So they usually give you like four to choose from. And as I'm going through the different sites, I remember I went to one of them and the third person down, the woman that was the third one down in the example, I looked at her like I've never looked at a woman in my life. And I was just blown away. I said I felt like I knew her. I felt like it's not the first time I'm seeing her. I felt like this instant bond and connection. And I said, that's my wife. That is definitely my wife. So I joined the site and I only sent one email to her. That's it. I had no intention of sending any other emails. And I more or less put it in a more comical way than this, but I'll just kind of paraphrase. It was more or less like, hey, how you doing? Nice to meet you, my name's Ray, you're my wife. You don't know this yet, but I would really like to get together. And it Was kind of crazy. And of course she got back to me and said, you're out of your mind. And I said, yeah, I know, everybody tells me that, but we did go on that first date. She found it amusing. And we are married. We are together. We still are together to this day. But in the beginning, this is when things get strange again, when we first start dating. I think we're a couple of months into dating and that question comes up that kind of people ask one another when they think about getting serious. She has two young children, I have two older children. And she says, what are your religious or spiritual beliefs? And I said, what are yours? Because I was going to just agree with whatever hers were and go along with that, but she was too smart and she stuck to it. And I said, truthfully, I don't know. I don't know what they are. I've been meaning to get around and figure that out, but I've never really gotten around to doing so. So I remember maybe month later or so close to my birthday, and she said, you know, for your birthday, I'm going to buy you a spiritual clearing. And I was like, okay, so is that like a massage? And she's like, no, no. And I was like a little bummed out. I don't know what this spiritual clearing is, but it was very prevalent and it was done distantly, I guess you would say. So I was at work, the woman called me on the phone, told me what she was going to do, how she was going to do it, and then she would call me when she's finished and tell me what she saw. And I was very polite, even though I don't believe in any of this and I'm okay. And I said, thank you very much. And she said, if you feel off for the next, you know, couple of days, feel free to call me and let me know and don't make any life changing decisions until that feeling goes away, etc. Etc. And I said, okay, you know, I appreciate your time, thank you. And now I do within hours, start to feel strange, very strange. It was the first time I got up from my desk. I remember it walking to go to the bathroom just like any other time, but I was wobbly. It was almost like my equilibrium was off. And it was a strange feeling that I hadn't had in a very, very long time. And it was, It started to feel like the energies that I had around me when I was in that apartment were back around me, but they were in my office. And now I start to get a Headache. I don't call her back. I just go home. Because I chalked this up to my insanity. So this is a Friday. I go home. I don't have to be back till Monday. I figure, you know, I'll get some rest. Everything's going to be fine. Here's what happens that evening. It's the very first time I see an energy that presents himself in human form in my mind. This is not. I'm not seeing this in my eyes. I'm not hearing it with my ears. It's all right here. Third eye. And the room begins to vibrate. I begin to vibrate. And it's like a movie screen kind of opens up inside my mind. And here's the man that I've never seen before. I don't know who he is. And he says, I effed up. I made a mistake. You can help her. I cannot. He was a big, stocky guy, beard, mustache, thick black hair. And very assertive, I would say. And he was like, right almost center. Not quite center, but just a little bit off. And I don't know what to make of this. I'm just completely, like, upset. I have no idea what's happening. And then he comes back and he says the same thing again. And then he comes back and he says the same thing again. I go to sleep. I get up the next day, it's Saturday, and he's there as soon as I get up saying the same thing. I effed up. I made a mistake. You can help her. I cannot. And this goes on all day long, Almost every hour. It felt like on the hour. By the end of the day, I'm trying to figure out, what am I going to do with who's going to take care of my kids? How am I going to tell this woman? I'm thinking, this is the beginning of the end. And by Sunday, here he is again, so persistent now that I can't drive, I can't function. I can't speak to people. He's just so invasive. He's right there all the time. And I remember a breaking point was I was at the counter and I was paying for some things. And I don't know what I did. I don't know what I said. But the woman looked at me as I was paying for my stuff. And she says, are you okay, sir? And I said, no, no, I'm not okay. And I took my credit card and I went back to the car. And I just started to cry because I did so much work to get here. Everything that I did I changed every aspect of my life to be a better person, to be a better father, to just be an all around better human. And I'm losing my mind. So I call my brother because he has my paperwork. And I said, do you have my will? You have my dnr? Do you have my power of attorney? And he's like, what's going on? I said, I just want to make sure that you have those things. Nothing's happening. I'm not sick. I told him I don't want him to worry about anything, but I want to make sure that my kids are taken care of when I die. Because this is the end, as the way I see it. And I want to make sure these documents are signed while I'm sane and so they're valid. So now I have to tell the woman I love that I just found, you know, a few months ago, that I see people that aren't there. And if this story isn't crazy enough yet, I will add to it that she is by trade a doctor of psychology and neuropsychology. So I'm going to tell a doctor of psychology I see people that aren't there. This is going to go over great. But I owe it to her to tell her so that she can get on with her life. And maybe she'll refer me to a doctor who can help with this. So I get my courage up and I tell her and I begin to explain how it happens. The vibrations, the lines shooting across the room, the swirly things and everything else. And then the movie screen opens and this man says, I effed up. I made a mistake. You can help her. I cannot. And I told her what he looked like. Stocky guy, beard, mustache, hair and everything else. And she. It didn't give me the reaction I thought I was going to get at all. In fact, it was very much the opposite. And this is how I know she's my soulmate. She said, that sounds like my dad. And I said, babe, your dad's dead. You told me. And she's like, I know. And I'm like, oh my God, this woman's out of her mind. It's not me. She's freaking crazy. But she says, you might be a psychic medium and you just don't know it. And I was like, what the hell is a psychic medium? I heard the term psychic before, but I never knew what a medium was. What the hell is this? So she goes on to explain, and I said, but here's the thing. The guy that I saw does not look like your Father, Because I saw a picture that you had or still have on the mantel. And I looked at it very clearly. I remember that picture. That man was, you know, thinner, didn't have any facial hair, just. And she's like, whoa, wait a minute. That's. That is an old, old picture. Let me show you what he looked like before he died. And she goes through her phone and she shows me, shows me. And I said, oh my God, you know that guy? And she goes, that's my dad, silly. And my heart just sank to my stomach because I don't understand what this is. At least insanity I kind of understand, but this is a complete unknown thing. And she goes on to tell me that she's seen plenty of mediums. And she speaks to her dad. Her dad comes through all the time. He's very powerful, he's very assertive, and he always has this big prominent message and exactly the way I explained it to her. So she said to me, there's a medium that's very well known and respected in the field that will be coming around to our area. She'll be staying here for I think a week or two. And I was going to book an appointment with her anyway. I'll just book one for each of us. So what have I got to lose? I said, yeah, sure, let's do it. And she goes, this way, at least you guys can kind of like talk to each other and explain what you see and how you see it and you know, you'll, you'll be able to figure it out from there. And I said, okay, sounds good. So we go there and I go in first because if I don't go in first, I'm not going in at all. I'm petrified, petrified, you know, late 40s. And my knees are shaking like I'm a five year old. And I go in and I say, hi, I'm Ray. And she goes, oh, you're that Ray. And I was like, I don't know what that means. She says, have a seat, Ray, tell me what's going on. And I sit down and I said, well, I think. I don't know how to say this, but I think I see people that aren't really there. And she goes, me too. And I was like, okay, great. But then she goes, just tell me how it happens. And I said, okay. So I get the vibrations and then the lines and then swirly things and then the window, the movie screen rather opens up and she goes, stop. And I said, what? She says, that's exactly the Way I see it, in fact, that's exactly the way we all see it. And who's we all? Mediums, they all have a similar way of seeing it. The movie screen. She goes, yeah, movie screen. And I was like relieved. And we talked for, I don't know how long, but here it was the first time in 50 years that I'm talking to somebody who understands me and what I've been, what I've gone through. She saw energy, she saw the same things. She was put in an institution by her own parents. And I just, I, I hugged her. I was, I was, you know, like trying not to just break down and cry. And it was a very powerful moment. And she took me on. She was my mentor for the first year and she helped me navigate it and she helped me put it in a perspective that I could understand, taught me how to deal with it so it didn't overtake my life the way it was, obviously. And she saved my life. She saved my life. There's no question. I either would have check myself into an institution or, you know, I don't know what, but she saved it. And that's your question was the nde. I think I got way off topic there. I apologize. But you know, that's the, that's the story of how I figured out certain things about myself and abilities that I had.

Wow, that was absolutely fascinating. Thank you so much for sharing all of that, Ray. And I don't think you got, you know, off topic at all. I think all those things are correlated and there's a reason why you, you know, spoke about each thing in order because it kind of talks about where you. Well, I'm sure you've, you've done other things, you know, now I'm sure you like have clients and stuff and, and work with people. So, you know, it's just catching everyone up.

So.

Wow.

Oh man.

I was listening to. I'm like, man, I have so many questions. So. Okay, so I'm gonna start from the top. So why do you think being in the spiritual state feels so euphoric compared to being in the body? Obviously it's a biological body. We have nervous system and stuff. But like, what is it about the spiritual state that just feels so euphoric? So, you know, like you said, it's the greatest drug, right?

Yeah, undeniably, yes. And, and the first thing that I think, think is you don't feel any pain and in fact you don't feel anything. So it's like imagine, we don't realize like how many Little aches and pains we have in our body. You know, like the little pain in your neck from something that you hurt when you were, like, 15 years old falling off your bike, and the elbow that you injured playing baseball. And, you know, we have all these, like, little aches and pains that we don't. We just take. We just ignore them. And when you're out of your body, you don't have any of that. So there's that aspect of it. You're free of pain, but you're also free of emotional pain. And you're also vibrating at a higher frequency. That is. Is amazing. And there have been times where I. I don't get that same feeling at all. But I have been. I have vibrated very high, and it feels euphoric. You know, only a few times in my life that I've ever been close to it. But I think it's the combination of those three. And. And I'll share with you. When I came back to my body and. And like, I. The euphoria was over. It was like a bomb went off inside me. I hurt from head to toe, and I didn't have the kind of physical injuries. I just inhaled gas. So what that was was a recognition of all those little aches and pains. The lower back, the knee, the this, the that. And I was like, oh, my God. I came back here for this. I want to do over. I don't want to be here. This is terrible. You know, And I never got that late love that I thought I was gonna get from my father. So it was a complete. Like, I really need a mulligan here. I really need to do over. Yes.

Wow. Yeah, that. I get that. It makes sense to me. So. So the. Once you first had that. That. Nd there was a being there that you was communicating with, have you figured out who that being was?

No, but the one thing I do know is it was the same being throughout many of the stories that you'll read in the book. All the ones where I nearly die and he or she. There's no. There's no physical outline. It's just energy. So I believe this individual is on a higher level, perhaps a spirit guide, not necessarily in the fourth realm when we first cross over, like her dad, who could present himself in physical. Human, physical form, this was more like just. Just energy. And when. When I see him, anytime he. He. It's kind of. It's hard to explain, but it's kind of like a ball of. Of energy. And with, I guess, an orb might be a good way of explaining it, you know, there's a, you know, a little silhouette and then there's just lines inside. And that's what I feel interesting or see, I should say.

Okay. Do you, did you ever get the impression that this was like a guide or anything?

I think that now, you know, back then I couldn't, I couldn't really figure it out. But working with mentors, we got to the level, especially the first one. She was very big on learning how to contact your guides because of how powerful that can be and how helpful that can be, obviously. So she helped me, you know, learn how to connect and have a better connection with them overall. So it wasn't just like when my life was on the line, but it could be on a day to day basis. And there is one that's, that's very prevalent and usually there. And I do believe it's the same one. He's. He's my go to. Or she. I don't know. Right. But it doesn't matter. I mean, I think at that level it doesn't really. You're. You're not a he or she anymore. You're just an energy and your consciousness business in its purest state, purest form.

I absolutely resonate so much with that because I don't, I haven't done this for like clients or anything, but I do this for myself where I do some channeling work. And the being that I connect with, they don't have a name. Every time they come, every time they come through, they repeat the statement, this one has no name. And actually, for people watching this, I'm gonna be putting out some content pretty soon of me doing some channeling just to put myself out there some more. But they really emphasize that they don't have names. And it's kind of like a third dimensional concept and that in fact, if they took upon a name, it would be limiting for their expression. So I do think perhaps, you know, once we continue to evolve, that could be a direction that we, you know, go towards where we don't really have too many labels and things. So I have a question here. Why do you think we don't express how much we care for people until we think that they're gone? And the instance of your father connecting with you right when you were younger, y' all didn't have the best connection, but yet he's holding you and he's like panicking and stuff. And it's just like, where was that love and, and all those things before that event? You know, why do we have to wait until we think that they're leaving before we. We open our hearts more and express our. How we actually feel.

That is such. Such a great question. And I learned a couple of things from that. The first one was that the thing that I learned about him and both my parents really, is that they came from terrible childhoods. I mean, they made mine look like it was great. When I learned more about them and their. Their upbringings, they were just really bad. And so I understood that for them, what they have been giving me, so to speak, was a better life than they had. And it really was because theirs was so horrific. So I've made my peace with that totally. And then I completely changed the way I treat other people. I tell them I love them. I tell my kids, do not ever leave my presence without me saying, I love you or my wife. You know, it's that it's something that just, you know, like, God forbid, that's the last time I'm seeing you. I want to make sure that's what I said. I do not want it to be something that I regret. Because when my second mentor was started out as a my primary medium teacher, and when we would read, the messages that are coming through from the other side are guilt, remorse, regret. It's always, I'm sorry. I should have done this. I should have said, I should have told you I loved you. It's that type of regret and guilt and shame that comes through, which is why I've chosen not to do mediumship anymore. And I. I've never done it professionally, and I chose to go in a different path and help people have spiritual awakenings, which I had, and I wrote about that in the second book. But it's a way of life now for me is to express the way I feel about the people that I love all the time. Because you just don't know when you're gonna take your last breath.

Yes. Thank you so much for that. And I agree. That's. I mean, although we did. We just met, and I haven't been able to express a lot of my own experiences that's very much how I live my life, is that we don't know when we're going to. To take our last breath. And, you know, as someone who's. Who's had a lot of loss, I. I do express how much I love and care for the people around me so very much, because we. We just. I feel like the people who haven't had too many of those experiences where they've had a lot of Loss. They have no idea how, how quickly something that you care for can be taken from you. For example, this is, this is literally just happened yesterday. This is really sad, but my mom's best friend son just passed away on Mother's Day in a car accident. And it's. That's her, that's her firstborn and her oldest child. And the amount of grief that's in her heart right now is unbelievable. And it's just, that's. That's just how life is. We have no idea when our last moment with someone that we cherish is going to be. I have a son and I can't even imagine. I can't even fathom losing my baby. I love him so much and I do. Sometimes I feel like I have guilt because I feel like I need to do more, to spend more time with them, to cherish him more and, and nurture him more, you know? So, yeah, we, we have to do our job to just connect with people and we have bitterness or anything with people. Just let it go. It's not worth it. It's not worth holding on to that and those low vibrations in your heart.

So true.

Just let it go, Let it go and move forward, you know, And I understand how the, the, the, like your parents generation, like, man, they've been through some tough stuff, so they had to build up this, this thick skin of just kind of these coping mechanisms that were really unhealthy and they kind of just passed down the trauma.

They were depression era children. Right. For me, anyway, so they just had it horrible.

Yeah. And I'm so happy that, you know, you've been able to evolve and, and grow and break those generational traumas because if you didn't, you possibly had the, the chance to pass down that. And who wants to pass down more trauma to your children, you know, so thank you so much, Ray, for, for what you do and how you've healed yourself and the lives that you change and, and just sharing your story with people because your experiences are powerful and they're meaningful to people and people care. So. Yeah. Thank you so much, Ray.

That's why I was really hesitant to write the book because, you know, as I was writing it, I wasn't writing it with the intent to publish. That was never the idea. The idea was more about me healing myself by putting these things on paper and analyzing them and bringing myself to another level. It wound up that, you know, my wife was like, you've got to publish this because it can help so many other people. And I was petrified to do that, you know, because I, I put it all out there. I mean I put it all out there and, but the, the, the response that I got, I remember the first time I think I got, I got off a stage and I had just done a presentation, people are hugging me and like almost in tears and saying I can, you know, you're, I related to your book and it helped me so much and I was right where you were and I thought I was crazy and it was so moving and so emotional that I was like, like yeah, this is, this is what I'm meant to do. And I quit, I quit my day job to write books and it's not a great career move financially, let me tell you. But you know, someday it will be, I hope. But it's definitely, it's a challenge. But this is my calling. My calling is to give this information to other people so that they can utilize it too.

Yes. And we are so very thankful for you and sharing your story and being brave because I, I, I think about that very often as well and that I have a lot of aspiration, business wise and stuff. And I sometimes wonder if me sharing some of these things that people consider as woo woo, how would that affect me financially and stuff and you know, on the deepest level of my soul is like I don't care. Yeah, I do. I, I just, I don't care about money me, I don't care about people's perception of me. I just want to share my experiences and be there for people and help up, lift people and raise the consciousness of the planet and if I have to be like the Buddha and be a beggar or something like that, I don't care. You know, just whatever I have to do, I will do it, whatever the sacrifice is. Because I feel like there's plenty of people who are greedy, who are selfish and who are, who just don't care about the planet and you know, they can, they'll be through thriving and successful. Cool. Great for them. But I want to do things that nurture my soul and nurture other people's soul. And I think that's fundamentally the most important thing is that we don't forget that we are having this human experience and we are here to uplift people and awaken other people to the deeper meanings of reality so that we can all coalesce and, and have our hearts open and share love together. So.

Well said. Well, I hope you write a book. Do you have a book?

I don't, I don't.

Get started.

You know, I don't know, you know, I think about, I'm like, I don't know if people will find that stuff interesting, you know, I don't be surprised.

Write it, Write it.

Okay, you know what, Ray? I'm gonna take that to heart. Honestly, I really am. I'm gonna, I'm gonna take that here and, and take it in and really, you know, think about that. So, so back to the question questions. Do you think. So when you had that nd and you were going through the phase of doing drugs and stuff, do you think that was like a trauma response of trying to create that denial effect of like, oh, this isn't real and stuff? Like, do you think that was a bit of a trauma response?

Yes, a hundred percent. There were so many different things that were going on in my mind at the time that I didn't want to have to think about and I didn't. The only way I could shut it down was to drink or use drugs. Because what that does is it actually, you know, I understand how, how that works and why we do those things now. It's, it's to shut down the default mode network or turn off the egoic mind because you notice like when you've had a couple of drinks, you might do or say something that you wouldn't normally do or say. And that's because you're lowering that ego or that ego effect. But it sounds great in theory, but it isn't because it's a false suppression of the ego. And we need to rise above the ego. And that is what my entire second book is about, is how to diminish the ego naturally every single day so we don't become reactive to things. We take a pause and we think before we do. Because the ego, it draws from the subconscious and the unconscious mind and they are very, very powerful. Okay? You're. The biggest part of your mind is your subconscious and that's where you store every experience. Everything that's ever happened to you or everything you've ever seen that's affected you. Even in movies and television, it's all stored there. And anything that's had this effect, when the experience is combined with an emotion, it becomes factual, it becomes your truth, it becomes your reality. And it may not be somebody else's, but it is yours. And I'll give you an example. Two kids, I often use this example. Two six year old kids, they live in different houses side by side, right? They're next door neighbors. This little kid on this side, he decides he's going to go Right in the kitchen and put his hand on top of the stove, even though he was told to never do that. And the stove is hot and he gets third degree burns. And those are serious, they hurt, right? He takes his hand off, he's crying, he's screaming. He has to go to the burn unit. He's never going to forget that day, okay? That is imprinted for the rest of his life. All stoves cause pain, period. That's his truth. The kid on the other side hears the story and he gets curious and he decides he wants to touch his stove. But no one was cooking and it's not hot. And he can't figure out why this other kid is crying about a stove. He's like, what are you talking about? The same thing happened. Two different perspectives of the stove. So what has to happen to the child, to both of them, really. But let's work with the child to experience the pain and the trauma. First, he has to go through his conscious mind to tell his subconscious mind that there is a safe way to use the stove. You're not going to delete that. It's never going away, okay? His pain, his suffering, it's there forever. We can't delete. But what we can do is overwrite. Just like a hard drive, your subconscious is a hard drive. And you can overwrite it, override it again and again and again and try to get that trauma down and reinforce there. There is a way to use a stove. There is a way to use it without pain. And conversely, with the other child, he needs to learn that he can get hurt by a stove. And he needs to learn how to be safe about using a stove. But we have to use our conscious mind to tell our subconscious mind. And when the ego kicks in and says, you should never cook, you should never go near a stove. All stoves cause pain. Don't be ridiculous. Don't you remember what happened? Don't touch that thing. Don't touch that thing. You know, this kid's going to be paranoid of stoves. And I'm giving them a small little context here, but this applies to just about everything. I mean, the person who's going for a job interview, but yet their teacher told them they were never going to amount to anything. They were a young kid and they took that to heart. That's that kid's reality. That's that kid's truth. Now he's going into a job interview and he's shaking, but he may be overqualified for that job. We don't know. But he's self limiting himself. Now, because that ego is so powerful. That ego is what says you're not good enough. That ego says, you look fat in those clothes. That ego says, you said this. Now you're going to look stupid. And we take it as fact because we think it's us. The ego is that voice inside your head that directs you, that tries to protect you at all times. The problem with that is it has flawed information. It was given flawed information, and it was given to you in your childhood when you didn't give anybody consent to put anything into your head. But it was put there or it happened and it transpired. Now you got to revisit. Do the program in the subconscious, or it's just going to replay and replay and replay and you're going to find that you do the same things over and over. Why do I always do that? Why do I always fall in love with the wrong person? Why do I always say this? You know, whatever the it is. And it's because we're. We're dealing with a flawed program that has to be overwritten. So I tell people that I coach, right? The ego isn't you. It's not you at all. In fact, it really has nothing to do with you. These are other people's beliefs that were planted here that you now perceive as your truth. Okay? So in order to override that, you've got to go through your conscious mind and override it by repeating it over and over. If you're. Whatever the it is, we work it out and we figure it out together. Let's say you're reactive. I had a guy that every time a car cut him off, he would just go berserk. So we were retraining. Every time that occurrence occurred, whether he did it the right way or the wrong way, he would remind himself if he did it the wrong way, would say, I'm not going to do it that way next time. I want to do it this way next time. I don't want to be reactive. I don't want to feel that emotion. I don't want to go there. And if he didn't, and if he did do it the right way, then that's great. But you've got to take that pause, just pause for a split second before you're reactive to something. And that little pause could change your entire life. Look up to your awareness, which is connected to your higher self, connected to the collective or God or the universe or whatever terminology you wish to use. That's where you find yourself. That's the real you, the higher you, not way down low. Your unconscious and subconscious, they are not you. They are not giving you accurate information. You need to find yourself from up there. And I help people get that connection. And when they have it, one day something happens that should really, really piss you off, and it doesn't bother you at all. You could care less. And then, you know, you broke through.

Powerful. Wow. And is there. And I know you kind of just talked about it briefly there, but what would be the best way to. To do that practice of not being so reactionary and how to overwrite those automatic reactions that we have within ourselves. It's so funny. I was just talking to a friend about this yesterday, and I'm just looking for effective tools of explaining this, but I believe you have it. How do we kind of mitigate that initial egoic reaction to things and override? Because it seems to be that people have this automatic thing that's going in their mind all the time, and they don't know how to mitigate it. You know, to return to a nice baseline level, well, the first thing they.

Have to realize is that there's something wrong and that that reaction is incorrect. Right. And you can figure out where it came from if you want to, but you don't necessarily have to do that as long as you acknowledge that it's the wrong way to react. Right. If a car cuts you off, you know, it's just nothing really happened, okay? It was an accident, you know, and what is getting angry going to accomplish, right? So first step is to acknowledge it, that it's a problem. Once you acknowledge it as a problem, then what we do is we go through what's called retraining the brain. I call it retraining the brain. You're really retraining the mind. But that didn't rhyme. So I put retrain the brain, and we retrain the brain by, as we get to that problem, right? Getting into the car, driving along a car begins to cut you off. And I'm just using a simple example, but every time that happens, you pause and remind yourself of the way you want to behave, the way you want to feel, instead of the natural reaction that you've been having for the last 20, 30 years. And you do it over and over and over and over, and you do it with everything that you don't like about yourself. Believe me, when I started doing this, I was doing it all day long because I was messed up. So I would say 95% of my day was correcting the things I Said you don't realize how many things you do based upon your ego. Now don't get me wrong, in some cases the ego is, is warranted. It's there to protect you. Right? So if it says look both ways before you cross the street, that's a good thing. We need that. Okay. But we don't need to be told that we're over and over and over to the point where we're too petrified to ever cross the street. And that is what happens with a lot of things. So it's retraining every time the situation arises. If you do it the wrong way, don't judge yourself, don't beat yourself up. Just simply say, next time, I won't do it that way. I'm going to do it this way. And replay the event in your mind the way you wanted it to go and pause. Do it the way you want to do it and then be grateful. I remember this time I did it the way I wanted to. And eventually you won't have to pause because it'll just happen naturally and you're literally overriding that hard drive over and again.

Perfectly explained.

It's kind of simplified, but, you know, there's, there's more to it. But I'm trying to make it short.

No problem. And a follow up question to that is, do you think you would have had the same opening without the clearing? Do you feel like you would have had the same.

I don't think so. I think that was a major factor in that for me, in that moment in time. I think that had to happen because I had shut that down or at least gotten it to a point where I wasn't being interrupted by it. And that kind of opened those doors again that I had shot. So. And if that didn't happen, then the rest of the good story, the good part of the story never would have happened either. So, yeah, I think that was a key aspect, a key element, certainly.

Interesting. Wow. And do you, do you think, you know what kind of metaphysical thing happened there? If it is a metaphysical thing, but like what psychic thing happened there? How did this person interact with you to create that opening with inside of you?

Well, that was something called distance healing, which I'm not that familiar with, but I can tell you that it was. My energy was aligned. Just like if you have a reiki session, my energy was aligned and it was almost like the flow of information could just enter through the crown like it always does for me, and come back out through the crown. And, you know, one of the things when we do, when I teach the law of attraction, this is really an important thing because you're putting out a vibration that's going to find its match, its frequent, its frequency match. Right. Attach to it and bring you that item. And in order to do that, you have to be very expansive and be able to put that out there and again out through the ground, in through the crown. So it's what she did was basically do an alignment that put me in a place to receive things that were already around me, but I had it shut off.

Interesting. Okay, so why do you feel that you didn't go into the route of being a medium rather than the direction that you go now?

Because of the spiritual awakening I had when I was writing the second book. As I was getting to the end of the book, I had that moment for myself where I wasn't reactionary at all. I had a car accident, in fact. And the way it happened was it was snowing. I was driving my car. I was leaving my. My wife's place. We had two separate residences. We weren't married yet. And I was leaving her place, and I was going to mine. And it was snowing, and I was trying to get a jump on things. So I was being cautious, I was being careful. I missed my turn, and I drove right into a deer. And I had an expensive car. And I thought that was a big deal at that time, that I was supposed to have a expensive car, because my father always said that that was what you're supposed to do. So. But in that moment, I didn't feel angry. I didn't care about the car. I just cared about the deer. There was absolutely no anger whatsoever. I got out of the car and I tried to pick up the deer, and the deer got up and the deer walked away. It was fine, and I was fine. The car was trashed, but I didn't give a shit. I didn't care. That is a very, very unusual reaction. For me, who grew up with chaos, with anger, with trauma. My go to emotion would always be anger. Whether I was anxious or whether I was sad, I would always revert to anger. And the anger was gone. And I didn't have to tell myself to do was just instantaneous. That was the moment. So getting back to your question, when you do a reading, or at least when I did readings, the. The person that's coming through, spirit that's coming through is giving me their emotions. And I'm then putting forth those emotions to the sitter. And it's not like some. They're talking and then I'm just repeating what they're saying. That's not how it works. You know, that you're a channeler. You understand they have to commingle their energy with yours, and that stays with you for a little while. I mean, for me, it was a few hours. So if somebody's coming through with guilt, remorse, regret and etc. I'm taking on those emotions for a considerable time after the reading. And I got rid of a lot of those emotions. I don't want to feel those anymore. I lived in those emotions and now I'm finally at a place where I'm not. And I respect mediums 1000% because the sacrifice that they make to give you that information that they're giving you is enormous and you don't realize it. And. But, you know, most mediums will say, I can only do three a day, I can only do four a day, or I can only do two a day. And that's because of the after effects of it. It's not easy to just shake it off. So, yeah, so that's. I made a choice that I felt that I could help people better by helping them awaken. And it's not that I'll never go back to it, but in right now, for me, I feel like this is my calling.

I. I agree with that 100%. And my audience knows that. That I had a pretty similar experience with mediumship and that I'm not going to talk about it too long because we're ending our time here. But I had an experience where I was doing past life regressions for people. And a client's mother came in and at the time I wasn't even doing medium stuff, so I wasn't even aware of anything. I just felt this overwhelming presence to someone of my left and I had to wait till she came out of tranche, she came out of trance. I let the mother talk through me. And the experience was so overwhelming because towards the end, the mother was pushing so much love and energy into me that I started crying. And I was holding the client and we were crying and I was saying things that I have no knowledge of. You know, saying that he's here with me. Apparently that was the brother of the mother and there's a lot. And I didn't know how to ground myself after that because it was just, the energy was just. It was all overwhelming. I didn't mentally prepare myself for any of that, for any of the crying, for any of the emotions, for any of that. And I was like I don't know if I could. I don't know if I could do that as a profession. It's so emotionally intense. And I can understand why people can only do like three or a day.

There were, like, there were between 11 and 13 or 14 people in our class. And some people would just drop out and then they would come back because it was just too intense. And, you know, it's. It's hard work. It really is hard work. It takes a toll on you. Yes. Others, they don't realize that.

Yeah, yeah. So I was. He was talking. I'm like, yep, I get it. I understand. Because you have to be a certain level of vibration to maintain and do that as a profession. Because, my God, just talking to people on the other side and community, communicating with other.

It's.

It's a lot, man. It's. It's a lot. So my utmost respect to mediums, and.

Me too, I love to them. Absolutely, absolutely.

So, as we wind down, let's talk more about the services that you do in your book. So how do you help people have that spiritual awakening? Like, what are the things that you do?

Sure. So the second book is called you're Still Alive Now, Act Like It. And basically there are plenty of stories and things from the past that are there to kind of make you realize. It kind of recaps the first book so you don't have to. If you wanted to start in the second, you could. But it also points you in a direction of where I was so that you can see where I'm going and where I've been and where I am now. But there's a lot in that book before I. While I was writing it and before I wrote it, I started. I went back to school for metaphysics. I got my bachelor's. I got ordained by the International Metaphysical Ministry. Then I went on and got my master's degree in metaphysics, and I'm currently doing my PhD. And then what I also studied was physics. And because I was such a skeptic my whole life, I said, well, who's going to want to read a book that I can't back up? I can't tell you how it happens. Right. Because that's the way I would have been. So I put the. The actual physics component or, or, or the discovery that was made that backs up the spiritual concept. So here's how it works. Here's what it is. And then I tell you how I've used it and how to replicate it. So. And there's many of those in the book. And that's the way this book was designed, to really give people something that they, that's tangible, that they can recreate. Because I'm not special, okay? I am not chosen. I am not special. I am nothing. I am a regular person, just like you. I figured a few things out and I share them with the world. That's it. That's all it is. And I also offer one on one coaching if people want to do that as well, where we go much deeper and it becomes more personal because we're dealing precisely the things that they have been through. And I also offer that. And all that can be found@raycatania.com and the books are in every bookstore, everywhere. Thank you. Thank you for letting me say that. I appreciate that. Thank you.

Of course. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. So these are the last few questions that I ask all my guests.

Oh, you told me about these in the middle. In the beginning I didn't know what they were. I still don't.

They're very simple questions.

Okay.

What does love mean to you?

Oh my God. Love is everything. Love is the feeling, the emotion that you have, hopefully, towards all beings, all things, and it needs to be expressed. Don't keep it inside, please. Please don't keep it inside. Show it to everyone that like, like we said earlier, you just don't know when you're going to take your last breath. And the, and the, the folks that I met in spirit, they've always regretted not saying I love you. That's like the biggest one right there. So, you know, love is the most powerful thing. It can lift people up. It can lift you up just simply by expressing it to other people. And I guarantee you they will express it in return.

Well said. Thank you so much. And the last question is, what does the sun represent to you?

The sun as, as in the sun.

The sun.

Sky. The sun in the sky. I love the sun in the sky. And in fact, I love astronomy and I don't know that I have a specific reason for it, but when, a lot of times I use the sun as an example of when you get a question like, why do bad things happen? Why do people do bad things? And I use the example that the sun is God and God is sending this energy to the earth and the earth is taking form in a person. But once that energy takes form in human and the human does something bad, do you blame the sun? No. So it's not being done by some, a higher being or it's not being done by the universe. You know, it's that person who took the form, took the energy. So, I mean, the sun is the energy for all things on this planet, including every single one of us. And, you know, it's. I don't know what else to say except that it's highly representative of the afterlife and this current life.

Yes, 100. Yes, I'm with you, 100.

I got that right.

I love that. It wasn't. Yeah, it wasn't a great audit, but it resonated for me. And this is Appraisal podcast. I always ask my guests what does it mean to them because I'm always curious what, you know, you up into the sky and it's like such a cosmic experience to just be like, there is a ball of fire in the sky, you know, so it means different things, other people. So I'm always curious. But, Ray, thank you so much for your time.

Thank you.

Where can people reach out to you and. And contact you and buy your books?

My website is Ray Katanya.com and you can find out more about the books and coaching and training and everything else is right there. The books, you can find information about them there too. They could be bought at Amazon or any other bookstore, Barnes and Noble, anywhere in the world. Thank you.

Thank you. Do you have any closing thoughts for the audience?

Any.

Any last words or anything?

I love everybody that's watching this and I appreciate you and I appreciate you for watching this and I thank you very much from the bottom of my heart.

Thank you so much for your time, Ray. Thank you. Everyone who's watching is. I'll put Ray's information in the description box below. And yeah, have a great day and praise the sun, everyone. Thank you.