Atheist Near Death Experience: Ray Catania on Gas Leak NDE, Spirit Guide, and Healing the Ego

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Welcome back to the Explore the Extraordinary podcast. My name is Betty, and today I'm joined by Ray. And Ray is an author, a teacher of metaphysics, and a life coach. And I had the pleasure of listening to Ray last year at our IONS conference in Washington, D.C. and I'm super excited for your willingness to come and serve our community on the podcast today. So I'm going to toss it right over to you. Thanks so much, Betty.

Thank you so much. It's an honor and a privilege to be with you today. I appreciate it. Yeah, thanks for having me. There's so much to tell. Wow. First, let me say I have the utMost respect for ions and I. And I love working for your organization whenever possible. So you guys were kind of a lifesaver for me because I had an nde, as you know, and for many, many years, I didn't have anybody to reach out to, to compare notes. You know, I just thought I was told I was crazy. Oh, that's not real. That didn't really happen. And it wasn't until I found IONS that I found somebody else that I could say, wow. So you saw the light too. You know, you saw it and you know my story. I'll take you back to a little bit of the beginnings. Troubled childhood, a lot of trauma, drama, not pleasant, a lot of turmoil, fighting and whatnot. And that went on for many, many years, the early days. And so I absorbed all of that, of course, and, you know, it was very chaotic. And so as I grew up, chaos became my comfort zone and it became the place where I was most comfortable. So if there wasn't chaos, and I was in my teens or twenties, I bring the chaos, right, Because I could navigate chaos, but what I couldn't navigate was peace and love and things that were normal, right? So I was about 20 years old when I had my NDE, and I was still living at home with my parents. And what happened was, is my bedroom was on the second floor and I was directly above the kitchen and the stove ran on natural gas and there was a gas leak and the gas was rising all night. We don't really know how long, but I was inhaling the gas all night long. In the morning, my mother woke up, I supposed to turn on the stove and, you know, make breakfast or what have you. And there was a big ball of flames in the wall, caught fire. And. But my father, the way I heard the story, my father was able to put the fire out. It wasn't that bad, but it wasn't the fire or the Smoke. It was the gas that I had been inhaling for hours. So I hear the fire trucks coming, I hear the police cars, and I go to get out of bed and. And I find that parts of my body just won't cooperate. They won't move. It's almost paralyzed, if you will. My legs especially, they felt like they weighed a thousand pounds each. And I just could not get them to move. My arms worked my head, I couldn't get it off the pillow. I couldn't yell, which was very, very strange and scary. And I started to pull myself to the edge of the bed to the best of my ability. And I would inch. I get a couple inches and I pass out again. I get a couple, couple more inches, I pass out again. And finally I knew if I did not get out of the bed, I was dead. I mean, there was just no question. The feeling of not being able to feel my body was getting worse. I knew I was going to die. And I pulled with everything I had and I tumbled out of the bed. And I hit face first on the floor. So normally we hit face first on the floor. We know the pain is about to set in. There's that moment of shock, but then the pain comes. The pain never came. And the pain didn't come because I'm not in that body anymore. The pain didn't come because I was in the corner of the room looking down at my lifeless body. And this was not scary. For some strange reason, this did not scare me. I don't know why. In fact, I felt amazing, to say the least. And the room is a perfect square. I tumbled out of the bed. I'm looking at myself. I'll never forget. Like, you know, I could tell you what I was wearing and everything. And adjacent on the other corner, kind of pointing at me, is this huge tunnel. It's a white. You know, calling it a white light is doing it no justice. I mean, it is. This light is painlessness and love. And every positive, beautiful emotion you could ever possibly think of comes with this light. And it. And I am. I am. I've become the light. I'm one with this light. It's a part of me. I'm a part of it. And the feeling of euphoria, which is just indescribable. It's. It was. You know, I. Sometimes I say it's a theory. Best day of my life was the day that I died. It was so beautiful. And I wanted to go into the light. So I started to go in and there was a being at the end of the light. Who said, ray, it's okay. Come into the light. And so I proceeded to go in. And then as I went further into the light, the euphoria would increase. So I was like, okay, this is. You know, this is really. This is great. And I'm proceeding to go to the end of the light. I don't know who's at the end of the tunnel. I know if it's a male or a female. I cannot see a person. All I see are lines, energetic lines. That's all I see. And I'm not really hearing either. It's like a transmission of information. It's not hearing, it's not seeing. And I know you've been there, so you understand what I'm saying. And in that moment, as I'm making my way to the other side, my father bursts through the door. He kicks the door in. You know, he's a big guy, and he just kicks the door and scoops me up, and he's hugging me and screaming for the paramedics, and tears are coming down his face. And I'm like, who is this guy? You know, my father's hugged me five times my whole life. One of them is when I'm dead. So we didn't have that relationship, you know, I didn't even recognize him in that moment. But my heart went out to him and me because that was the relationship that I always wanted with this man. So I asked the being if I could go back. I wanted to go back and feel that love that he was expressing in that moment. And I don't know if that's the reason I got to go back. I really have no idea. All I know is that I did wake up, and I'm not there now. When I woke up, I'm on the living room floor, flat on my back, which is downstairs, and the paramedics are working on me. They have all their tools, all their equipment. They're doing their things. They're talking back and forth in medical jargon that I don't understand. And I just. I hear, bring up the truck. Bring up the truck. We gotta go. We gotta go. And I'm like, guys, guys, I feel great. I feel better than great. You know, the euphoria stays with you for a while. It kind of carries over. So I'm still in that euphoric place. I feel no pain. And I'm just trying to tell these guys that I've never felt better. They're like, listen, kid, you, one thing you are not is okay. So why don't you just lay there and let us do what we have to do? And I was like, but did you see the light? Did you hear the voice? I mean, come on, guys. Did you see that? And. And now they start looking at each other like, okay, we got to get the other ambulance, take him to the other hospital. This guy's out of his mind. Hawk screen. You know, let's do that. I didn't even know what drugs were yet. I didn't even find them yet at that point in time. So I shut up. I don't say anything, because whenever I talk about this, I'm told I'm crazy. My mother was in complete denial. She said, that didn't even happen. Okay, didn't happen. You know, the whole beginning of my life, I had always had, like, an ability to see, feel, energy being around me. And that was because of the traumatic environment I was in. I would isolate myself and hide for many hours. And this type of isolation is similar to doing hours and hours of meditation daily. So imagine doing, like, four to six hours. I'm waiting for everybody to go to sleep, for the calm to settle, so that I can come out from under the bed and go to sleep myself, because I'm scared. And so I started to be able to see things that perhaps others couldn't see. I didn't know they couldn't see it. I thought everybody could look at the wall and see that there were lines in the wall and that it could move a little bit, you know? So this went on for. If I ever told anybody about that or the ND or anything else, I was just simply told, you're nuts. You're crazy. That didn't happen. Now, we don't have cell phones yet. We don't have computers yet. None of these things are invented. I'm showing my age, so I start to accept the fact that maybe I am crazy. And it was a short time after, oh, so I'm 21. I have the NDE. By the time I'm 21 or 22, I move out and I get my bachelor pad, and I'm like, yeah, this is going to be great. You know, we're going to parties and blah, blah, blah. So none of that ever happens because from the day I move into this apartment, it feels like it's filled with people and it's the energy that's in the apartment. So I. I'm a kid who can see energy, feel energy. Then I die and come back. I become like this direct portal, or there is a portal directly to Me from the other side. So they know I can see them, they know I can feel them, or they know I know their presence is there. And I later find out it's very simple. They're just trying to get my attention, to deliver a message or something along those lines. But at this moment, I think I'm crazy. So things start to happen. I see the line shooting across the white walls. I never painted. And the electrical appliances would go on and off. TV channel would change, the alarm would go off. I must have called the maintenance guy a hundred times. And the guy came up and he said, listen, kid, I'm going to tell you for the last time, don't ever call me again. There's nothing wrong with your apartment. You are crazy. Here I am. I'm crazy again. Everybody insists that I'm crazy, so I start believing it. And so believing that I'm crazy and I can't turn this stuff off, it won't stop. I turn to drugs and alcohol and massive amounts because I can't sleep. So. So the only way that I can sleep, I had a roofie myself to go to sleep. I. I had the one and only drug dealer with a conscience because I ordered a hundred roofies. And he's like, you're not a date rapist, are you? Because I can't, I can't be a part of that. And I'm like, no, dude, I'm gonna, I'm gonna take them, trust me. He goes, Nobody could take 100 roofies. I said, dude, I can take 100 roof. That's give me. So that's how I slept. I mean, that was crazy. And I would drink on top of that. But so obviously that became probably problem, a dependency and, and I moved out of that apartment in 10 months and moved into the next apartment thinking, okay, fresh start, you know, the, the place was probably haunted. I, I'm talking haunted. I, I don't even believe in this stuff. And I'm. I get to the next apartment and the same thing happens again. I don't believe in this stuff because I'm crazy, right? No one, no one's ever explained this to me. There's no place for me to take this. So all I know is am crazy, B, I'm an atheist. And one day I'm going to go to the nut house. So I might as well live it up now. And that's the way I lived my life. And I would put myself in harm's way because in the back of my mind, I guess I knew that that day, that I died was real because there's, you know, there's just something about that that no matter how many times people tell you it's not real, you know that that is real. I mean, there's nothing more real than that. This feels fake in comparison to that day being on the other side. So I would, I didn't care if I lived or died, so I would do. I worked for shady characters. I did a lot of bad things. Bad things I was in, I was around times where I should be dead. I mean, I probably cheated death more times than I can count. I can recall being in a bar late at night, after hours, I'm serving drinks, it's an after hour thing. And I was about to leave and for some reason I didn't leave. And shots are fired and I hear pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. And I know that's not firecracker, so I know what that sounds like. And I get under the bar and I'm hidden under the bar and I'm trying to figure out how am I going to get out of here, right? Well, that very same being comes back and says, side door, side door, side door. And I'm like, well, I can't get to that side door because I have to come out from under the bar. The shooter is going to see me or shooters. I'm never going to get out of that. So I'm thinking about what to do. Side door, side door, side door. What do I got to lose? I go for the side door, I run, I get out the side door. But it doesn't end there because you have to go out the side door. And then There's a long 40 foot corridor to the next side door. And that puts you into the parking lot. So obviously I made it. And I get outside and my car was parked right there. Now here's the strange thing. I have my own parking spot and it's on the other side of the building. But I chose that day to put my car right there. No idea why. I mean, now I know why, but I didn't. And I jump in the car, trying to get the keys in. I'm dropping them, dropping them, trying to get them shaken. And I get out of there. And that's only one of probably six, seven, eight times that I can recall that this being has been there and saved my life. Why? I have no idea. I am eternally grateful. Later I learned this is my spirit guide. And I learned more about him. Actually, recently I learned more about him. But for many years I did not know this There was even a time when I was very young, I was about 10 years old, my parents took me to the beach and I used to love to swim in the ocean. And I swam out too far and the undertow was very severe that day and it was pulling me back and I couldn't get to shore. And the lifeguard was occupied saving a group of kids that were on the other side. There was like 10 over there and I was by myself on the other side. So he went for the 10, not for the 1, which I guess I understand, but nonetheless it's me and I'm going down and I'm trying to get his attention. So without any luck, what, I start to panic and I start to accept that I'm going to die. And the being, which at that point I had no idea what that that being was or who that being was. All I hear is, calm down, swim sideways, take all the time you need, calm down, swim sideways, take all the time you need. And I can't calm down. I'm a child, so that's not an option. But so that happens for me. A whole feeling of like warmth and calm goes from my head to my toes and I'm relaxed and I proceed to swim on an angle, which is what was meant by sideways. And I later learned that's what you're supposed to do in an undertow. That's how you get out of it. You can't go straight because you'll just get pushed back. But if you go on an angle and take all the time you need, go very slowly, eventually you will hit shore. I was way down the other side of the beach by the time I hit shore and exhausted and I collapsed. And now the adults that were there were seeing if I was okay. And now I'm panicked because stranger danger. I'm scared of these people now. And I'm trying to get up and walk away and I'm falling. I'm, you know, I'm just a 10 year old kid, but that's how long this being has been with me. I think my entire life. And made himself known. But I didn't accept the reality of what this was. I became an atheist because of all the horrendous things that I had seen in my life and been subject to in my life. So that's why the first book is the Atheist and the Afterlife. Because I started life as an atheist and I stayed there. And even when the things were going on in my apartment, I would yell at these things and say, listen, you're not real I don't believe in you. Get the F out of here. You're not real. And it was like torture because there's nobody for me to talk to about this. So years go by, and the second apartment, like I said, was the same thing. And I lived this lifestyle for about 10 years. Then I get married and I have two kids, and that was it. Now I have a reason to live. I can't push that envelope anymore. I checked myself into rehab, drove myself to rehab, gave him the keys, said, don't let me up. Went back to college, got my degree, got a business degree, went to work for a great company, worked my way up, did well. Worked my way up again in another company, did well. These kids were my. Why. They were my reason for living, and I owe them everything. So they. I took care of them to the best of my ability. Our marriage fell apart very quickly, but the kids were my priority, and they. They. I was determined to give them a much better life than I had, and I believe I've done that. I've always been a father who listens, who tells them I love them every day, because I don't know if that's going to be my last time that I get to say that to them. And I understand that. So I practice that, and I instill that in them, and I listen to them and I hear them out and I hear their feelings and I hear their thoughts, and I don't ignore them. I've never raised a hand to them. And, you know, it's just a different way. Way of. Of being. And I don't. I've made my peace with my parents because I could see generationally, how these traumas were passed. Their. Their childhood was just horrendous compared to what I had. You know, mine was pleasant, if you look at theirs. So these are generational things. But at some point, somebody's got to step up and stop it and say, this is wrong. And it's like the three stages of healing that I talk about that we go through. The first stage is, you did this to me, right? The second stage is, I did this to me. And the third and final stage is, did I hurt you? I'm sorry if I did this to you. And that's where it ends, and that's where you can move forward after you make it through that third stage. And I did everything that I could possibly do to just ensure that these two kids had everything that they needed. But at the same time, I'm still surrounded with these presence, these. These energies. But we kind of live cohesively. In other words, they don't bother me, I don't bother them. Like they stay on their side, I stay on my side. It sounds weird, but they knew I couldn't help them. They knew I didn't have the knowledge, they knew I didn't even believe they existed. So there was nothing for them to come to me for anymore. And I was able to function. And then that, that goes up until my mid-40s when I decide I'm going to date again. And now we're in an era where we meet people online. Right? Right. So I didn't want to bring another woman into my kids lives. I just thought that it would be better if I waited for them to get older. So it wasn't like I never dated, but I just, I didn't get serious now I was looking to get serious so I went online to a real site that I was going to try to find somebody. And I'll never forget because I got to one of the sites that there was like four examples. These four women live in your area, you know, they try to get you to entice you to join the website. Right. So the third one down on the right, I look at her and I say, that's my wife. Like I know her. That's. This is not the first time I'm seeing this woman. I know her. I don't know how, but I know her. And I don't mean know her like I met her someplace, I mean like I know her in my soul. And I sent her a message which was absolutely ridiculous. And I said for the sake of brevity, I'll just, I'll shorten it, you know, I, I said something like, hi, my name's Ray and you're my wife. And you don't know this yet, but if we have dinner I'll explain the whole thing. And I just knew she was my soulmate. That was it. And, and I was right because we did get married soon thereafter and we're still married today. But in the early days that we start dating, something happens again with someone on the other side. This is the. I've never seen energy in the form of a person. Right. I've always seen it as lines. I've always felt things, but I've never seen what looks like a human in any way, shape or form. Excuse me, but when I meet her, it's the first time it happens. And what happens is my body starts to tremble, shake, I get the vibrations, I see the line, shoot the swirlies and what Appears to be a movie screen in my mind. It opens up, and on the screen is a man. And the man is speaking to me. And this guy's a stocky guy. He's got a beard, mustache, thick black hair. And he says, I effed up. I made a mistake. You can help her. I cannot. And I'm like, what the hell was that? And now I'm like, oh, man, this can't be happening to me again. And this was on a Friday. And it happened again. And it happened again. And I went home from work. I said, I had a headache, went home. I forget I got the weekend. I don't know what's going on, but I'll figure this out. I just need some sleep. Maybe I was up too late. I don't know what. Saturday morning, there he is again, Same thing. Movie screen opens up. I effed up. I made a mistake. You can help her. I cannot. It happens every hour on the hour. I'm not being precise. It's approximately an hour apart. By Sunday, it felt like it was every five minutes. He would not leave me alone. And I couldn't function. I couldn't drive. I couldn't talk to another human being. I couldn't carry a conversation without him interrupting me. And he was right fucking here. Excuse my language. Sorry. Right here. And it was so intrusive that I could not function. And I remember being at the store and I was paying for my stuff, and the lady. I don't know what I did, but the lady behind the counter says, sir, are you okay? I said, no, no, I'm really not okay. And I took my card and I went back to my car, and I just broke down and I cried. I was like, I worked so hard. I worked so hard. I got sober. I got a job. I did well. I took care of my kids. I did everything. Why am I back here again? I think this is insanity setting in. So I figure I have only a certain amount of time left. So I call my brother and I make sure he has my will, my do not resuscitate, my dnr, all my paperwork is in order because I'm planning for my death. And I know that I need my kids to be taken care of. Eventually, I'm not going to know what's happening, what's real, what's fake, and I'm going to lose it, and they're going to put me away. And I'm in acceptance of. I'm trying to be in acceptance of this, but I'm really upset because I just, you know, I can't believe what's happening to me. So now I have to tell this woman I just fell in love with that I see people. I see dead people. I'm an atheist who sees dead people. I get the courage up finally to tell her what I see. Here's the kicker. My wife is a doctor of psychology and neuropsychology. So I'm going to tell a doctor of psychology that I see things that aren't really there. It's going to be great. But I figure she'll probably give me a number of referral, somebody that can help me, and maybe it'll work, maybe it won't. But she's obviously got to get on with her life. She has a right to know she can't stay with me. I'm out of my mind. So that's the reaction I expected, but that's not the reaction I got at all. And this is how you know you're with your soulmate. I told her, vibrations. The. This, this. The movie screen opens up. I see this man, he's big, he's husky, he's got the dark hair. And he says, I effed up. I made a mistake. You can help her. I cannot. He's really adamant about this. And she says, oh, my God. And I said, what? She said, it sounds like my dad. I was like, babe, you told me your dad was dead 10 years ago. She's like, yeah, he is. And now I'm thinking she's crazy and I need to get the hell out of there. Check, please. Right. You think I'm seeing dead people? And she's like, yeah, you're probably a psychic medium and you don't know it. And I was like, what's that? What's a medium? I don't even know what these things are. And she says, relax, I've been to plenty of mediums. This is exactly what they say. My dad comes forth and he's always right there, and he's very prominent. And he pushes, pushes, pushes until he gets the message across. And I don't even know what to do with this. I'm just stunned. And she says, listen, there is a particular medium that's going to be in our area. Very prominent, very well known. I'll make two appointments for us, and you can sit with her and tell her what's happening. And you guys can kind of compare notes and you can figure out for yourself if it's real or not. And I was like, okay, that sounds like a great idea. What have I got to lose? So I so we do just that. And I met with her and I was petrified, honestly. Petrified. You know, I'm approaching 50 and I'm scared of, like, what? Everything. At this point, it's embarrassing because I'm same guy that was in shootouts and this and that and the other thing. And here's this just. Man, who scares this crap out of me. So I walk in and I. And I say to the meeting, I say, hi, how you doing? I'm Ray. And she goes, ah, you're that Ray. And I said, yeah, okay. She goes, tell me what's happening. Sit down. And I said, well, sometimes I see, like, what I think are people, but they're not really there. And she goes, me too, me too. Yeah, tell me more. And I was like, okay. She's the first person that didn't have a reaction that said I was crazy. So I tell her more and I tell her about the vibrations and the chills and the swirlies and the lines. And then the screen opens up and she goes, stop. I said, what? She goes, that's how I see it too. She goes, that's kind of the way we all see it. And I said, we all. We all mediums. You're a medium. Let's go through some of your other visions. And we talked and I told her all the things that I saw and all the things that happened to me. And for the first time in my entire life, I sat with a person who could understand everything that happened to me, including the nd Everything. And I was just. I. I just hugged her and cried like a child and. And I'll never forget that moment and how many years it took me to. To find her. And it was. And it was my wife who brought me there. She was in acceptance of my craziness and even after knowing my past and after knowing everything and. And she accepted all of that. And that's when you know you. That's the right person. Sorry. So she takes me under her wing for the first year and teaches me how to turn it on, how to turn it off so it's not so intrusive and I can get through life and live life and still have this ability. And that's really. That's essential at that point in time. The. I stayed with her for a year, and it was about. It was about a year later or so, and it was my birthday, and my wife says, what do you want to do for your birthday? And I said. I said, I don't know. She goes, well, you want to, like, maybe go To Bahamas. You want to do a beach? You want to go to Miami? I was like, no, no, no, no, no, Nothing like that. Let's just, like, I just want to be around trees. Like, let's go to the middle of nowhere and get a cabin or a tent and an outhouse and that kind of thing. And she's like, are you nuts? And I said, yeah, remember, I'm the crazy one. But all of a sudden, I need to be around trees. And I don't know why. I just know that I am now attracted to nature. I am nature. And so that's what we do. We get a cabin in the middle of nowhere, and it's beautiful. And we meditate the whole time. Because now I'm meditating. I'm meditating, I'm tree hugging. I am a different person. I don't know who the hell I am, but this feels good. So I'm sticking with it because it's the best thing I've ever felt. And these are the same things that I would have made fun of 20 years earlier. And now I'm becoming that. And so we were up there, and she takes out a drawing. Somebody drew an illustration, and she shows it to me. And I said, that's your dad. And she says, yeah, I know. And I said, yeah, but what you don't know is that's exactly the way I see him. Like on the movie screen, that's what he looked. The same shirt, everything. The hair is perfect. That's the way see him. And she goes, wow. I said, so who drew that? She goes, a medium. I was like, you got to be kidding me. Who? I got to know this person who drew that. And. And. And she told me who drew it. And I. We looked him up online, and his website said, now taking applications for a two year mentorship program. You must apply by February 15th is the deadline. February 15th is the day I was born. She's like, are you gonna do it? I said. I said, does the pope shit in the woods? Yes. Give me a. Yeah, let's go. We're doing this. And I did it. And I submitted the application, and I heard nothing. And then I got a real application. It was like this essay. Questions after. What happens first, second, third, fourth. What happens here? What happens here? What do you feel? What do you see? First he had to verify everybody was legit or you're not getting in. And then there was an interview process that I went through with him. And then another application came with more questions. And then finally I heard nothing. It was like Radio silence. And I was like, okay, so I guess I didn't get it. Now I'm all the way back to, well, maybe I'm not real. Maybe this is all in my head. You know, I go back to square one because my ego is still intact, right? So it's just pulling me down and making me doubt. So I called his assistant just to verify that I didn't get in. And she's like, oh, no, no, no, no. We didn't make any decisions yet. There's hundreds of applications that he has to go through. You know, give him some time. And I was like, oh, okay, I'm really sorry. And then I start doing the math. It's several thousand dollar program. It's two years and you have 24, 7 access to a mentor. And he has hundreds of people willing to pay several thousands of dollars. Now that's a big windfall money, right? So very easily he could have said, you're all real, come on in, I'll take your money. But only 11 of us made it, and I was the 11th. So the integrity that, that shows me about this man. I was like, you're my new daddy. I'm just, you're, you're, you're the dad I didn't have. I love you, man. I'm never leaving you. And, and that's the way it's been. I mean, it was a two year program. I'm, I'm in my sixth year, I think of a two year program. I'm the guy in the back that never graduates. I don't want to graduate. I like it here. I'm staying put. Every time, every time I'm, I'm, I'm online. And he changed my life. I mean, he taught me things about spirituality, about life, about metaphysics, about things that, you know so much more than mediumship. And I can't, I had to tell him, I can't practice mediumship. I had a huge spiritual awakening about two, three years after I met him where I might finally fractured my ego. I lost my, a lot of my negative emotions. I lost my anger. And it was the greatest moment of my life. I had been working on this. It wasn't like I, you know, happened accidentally. I've been working on fracturing the ego, crushing the ego. And I, and I was going through the different practices that I had learned. I went back to college for metaphysics. I got my ba, I got my master's. I'm doing my doctorate right now. And I studied physics and I also studied Eckhart Tolle I'm working with Eckhart Tolle right now. He's an incredible human being. I'm so honored to be able to be working with him and other people that have had this great influence. And I put all this information together. And that's the second book. And it's kind of like it takes you from the beginning to that transformational awakening that I had where something happened, where it was a car crash is what it was. And normally the adrenaline would surge, and I would get really angry and really upset, and nothing happened. I was perfectly calm, and I hit my car in a deer. I called the Dear Moment because it was the moment that changed my life. I didn't have to tell myself not to get angry. I just didn't get angry. And I got out of the car and actually felt compassion for the deer. And I tried to. I helped the deer up and I touched the deer, and the deer got up and it looked at me, and I looked at it, and I was like, I'm sorry. And she said she's sorry. And she walked off. And it was a miracle. And I looked at myself, and I wasn't injured. My car was annihilated. But the point was that there was no anger. I didn't care about the car. I pulled the car to the side of the road, and I started to call my wife, and I got to the last digit and I said, why am I calling her? That makes no sense. Why should I tell her something terrible? It just happened when I'm fine, it's not that bad. And I drove the car really, really slowly home. Actually, I didn't go home. I brought it to the body shop and I left it there, and I took an Uber home and I went to sleep. I didn't lose any sleep. I wasn't thinking about the car. I wasn't worried about work. I wasn't worried about anything. There was nothing that kept me up. That ego was completely gone, which was incredible. It was so. It was like a relief. I was waiting for it to kick in. I was waiting for it to say, what are we going to do about work? What are we going to do? What are we going to do about the car? When are we going to call the insurance guy? Nothing. Nothing. I just went right to sleep. And it's been that way since now. It's not that I don't experience anger or I don't experience negative emotions, but they dissipate very quickly. And that's the change that I had to share with everybody. And although I don't practice mediumship. This is what I do practice. And as a metaphysical counselor, I try to teach other people how to have this moment, this awakening that will change their lives.

Thank you so much for sharing. You're, like, such a captivating speaker. I was really hanging on every word that you were saying. Your journey is amazing. And the main takeaway that I took from your experience is that connecting to other people can open up amazing doors.

Yes.

So, you know, I love the idea that you were so scared to be your true, authentic self and tell people what was going on, and then you took a chance and you told this woman, and she had all these resources for you. Right. It's like the divinity of the setup is just so amazing. It makes for such a great story. And, you know, our souls are these amazing script writers. And I love you talking about mentorship. I think that's such a huge part of the spiritual awakening process as well, like, get connected to other people. Other people are our guides incarnate. They can really help us on this path. So a couple of questions came up for me while you were talking. I love what you're talking about. Not feeling anger. Right. So I think this is probably really great for right now. What's going on in our world, in our outer illusion? What. What kind of advice would you have for people who do feel like that great sense of injustice that wells into anger and rage and fear? What kind of guidance do you have for people who are dealing with things like that? Right.

Well, there is a practice that you can do in the moment that I kind of teach. And it may seem trivial, but it really will work. And when you start to feel that anxious or that anger coming on, what I tell people is do something that's called the attitude of gratitude, I call it. And it's using gratitude to override that negative state. And it's like a tiny little meditation. Not even a meditation. It's just like you just take a couple of deep breaths, you close your eyes, and you state the things that you're grateful for, the things that you have been given, the positive things in your life. You know, you're. And I'm talking about the real things. Family, roof over your head, food in the refrigerator, that type of stuff, and remind yourself of all the good. There's going to be bad in life. There has to be bad. There's no dark without light. There's no light without dark. It has to happen. We evolve and we grow from those experiences, so we must go through them. But it doesn't have to Hurt. You will go through it, but it doesn't have to hurt. I'm never going to tell you that you're not going to have bad experiences. You will. You're supposed to. That's why we're here. But we grow and we evolve and we overcome, and this is how it's done. So when you're going through it and you're in the midst of it and it's just terrible, take a moment and remind yourself of the great things that you already have. Because one day, that experience that you're in later in life, you're going to be grateful for, because it's that bad situation that made you a better person, that taught you how to be a better person, and that's the beauty of it.

Very well said. I love that. Yeah. You can even look back at your life right now, in this moment and think about all of the things that happened that constructed you into the person that you are today, whether they made you resilient or smarter or, you know, anything. So I really like that. Another question that came up, you know, you talked about this connection that you've had with this guide for all of your life, even though part of it you weren't necessarily aware of. Do you have any tools for other people to be able to connect with their guides?

Well, the. Your guides will make themselves known. You. The thing about me was if. If you notice, I was always close to any possibility of the reality of this. But they will show themselves. And you have them. Everybody has them. At least one. And that's very prominent. And there's different ways, different things that will transpire that they will make themselves known. But if you're not open to it, if you're not in. In acceptance of the possibility that that's what that is, and if you're not sure this is where, like you said, seek a mentor who can say, oh, you have that ringing in your ear. Yeah, let me tell you what that is. I can explain that to you. Where you. You. You heard this or felt this. Yes, I know where that's coming from. Let me tell you more about that. And. And the more we become open to this in society and like ions is doing such a great job with this, is spreading this to the masses where we can openly share and talk about this stuff, and people hear the message and go, wow, that happened to me too. Yeah, okay. So I have to pay more attention to that. Your guides are there. It's just a matter of how you're going to communicate with them and really accepting them. And allowing them to give you the information.

Thank you for that. Yeah, that's really, that's really useful and helpful. So in your first book, it's titled the Atheist and the Afterlife. And so I'm wondering if maybe is there a way for you to tell us what your relationship with spirit is like now? Do you still consider yourself an atheist? Do you subscribe to a particular religion? What's that like?

No, I don't subscribe to any particular religion. I think they all have their good in there and they're bad. And I wouldn't call myself an atheist. No. There's definitely life beyond this life. It's not as simple as we die, we go on the ground and flowers grow. I've seen it. So. But my version of God might be a little bit different than others. I view it more as like we are like Jesus told us, actually you're a part of God and God is a part of you. And I believe what he was saying there is that we're all, we all make up God. It's our consciousness, it's our spirit. It's a collective. And it's that collective that comes together that creates that entity and in which is and create. So you are co creator, I am co creator. And we can create our own lives and collectively we can create anything. But we really need to come together and remember that we are all one. And when we say we're all one, this is what we mean. We're all one under this one collective umbrella of, of spirit, of consciousness. And as one we can do amazing things. But when we separate, I call them separators. Separators are how you define yourself as by a race or a religion or a color or a creed or a political party. Those have got to go. We've got to get rid of all the separators. We're human and we're spirit living in a human body. That's it. That's it. And when we can collectively come together and remind ourselves that that is what we are, we can do amazing things together. Separate and divided. Not as much, not as much at all. So we really need to get back, get back to where we should be.

Yeah, that. Well said. Definitely. Okay. And one more thing came up for me that I would love to get your. Your view on. So you shared this really amazing story of meeting your soulmate. And you know, I think that that's probably one of the number one things that people are always looking for. Right. We're always looking outside of ourselves for something to complet but it seems like you actually just kind of let go and your soulmate found her way to you. So what kind of advice would you give somebody who's kind of on this quest for romantic soulmate in their life?

Don't look. Let it come. You said it. Don't stop. Don't. Don't say to yourself, I must find. I must find. I must find that person is going to float into your life at the time that it's meant to happen. And how that will happen, I can't tell you, because your story is going to be different than mine, but it will occur. It will happen. I firmly believe that, you know, we do incarnate, and when we do, there are certain souls that are kind of always with us. They. They seem to come with us on multiple experiences. And that person that you need to connect with in this life will be there, and it's just a matter of, again, being open to the fact that it can come. Putting out there that you're willing to accept that person when and if they come and just leave it there. You don't have to actively say, I need to find this person. I need to find this person. Because now you're invoking your ego into generating something that you don't generate. It's a human. It's another spirit. You must just allow it to come to you. Just relax. It'll be there. And the person that you're with right now, even if that's not your soulmate, you're with that person for a very good reason. So don't. And. And you don't know that person may evolve into the person that you need to be with. Right. So I think we can be a little bit very. We can be a little dismissive. Just because I met my soulmate, don't think that we don't have arguments and fight and tell, you know, it's. You know, it's a marriage. Right. You know, so just because, you know, the underlying thing is very big, that doesn't mean that the surface stuff doesn't come up and we don't have our, you know, own little differences and stuff like that. So it's not all, you know, what would you say, flowers and candy? It's. It's. You get everything with your soulmate.

Awesome. Thank you so much for that. Yeah. Bringing some realism. It's still a human experience.

It's a human experience. Do not forget that soulmates make mistake. We make mistakes. Things are going to happen. Yeah. Yeah.

I love that. Thank you for that. That I really enjoyed our time together today. I just want to see if there's anything else that you'd like to share to feel more complete about this space.

I just. I guess that we kind of touched on it, and I think that it's really remembering that we do come from one entity, one source. We really. What we see right now that's happening in the world is people are joining these separators, these groups, and they're defining themselves by a group that. And they're letting someone else lead them. And it's just, like, it's not healthy for us overall. We need to break down those barriers and come together as one and stop being. You're this, I'm this. You're this, I'm this. We really got to get back to being one and helping each other, because it's there that we really thrive. I mean, it's there that we really can turn that needle and point it into the opposite direction because we're always, you know, light, dark, light, dark. Well, let's push it towards the light. Let's get there. But the only way to get there is not to fight with each other. It's to acknowledge each other. These are your beliefs. Okay, great. Let's hug. I love your beliefs, even if I don't believe them. Who cares? And let's. Let's move forward as humanity, as spirit.

So beautiful. Thank you, Ray, so much for your time. And all of your links will be in the line and notes of this episode so people can connect with you, and we'll see you next time.

Thank you so much.