EP 83 - A Profound Understanding of Existence #existence #universemessage #lastingconversations

Foreign.

This is Heather Lockey with Lasting Conversations. And today we're discovering your limitless potential with Ray Catania and. Hi Ray, how are you today?

I'm very well, Heather. Thank you for having me as your guest.

Thank you so much to be here. So in my introduction to Lasting Conversations, we talk about what it means to be human and stretching some boundaries as well as the metaphysical to the mundane. So we're going to go to these spaces and places today with Ray and I really appreciate your time today. So Ray is an acclaimed author, a metaphysical teacher, theorist, coach, survivor of nde, which is a near death experience, and he speaks about the science of spirituality and his perspectives. And we on this show, Lasting Conversations were all about perspectives and looking at life from all kinds of lenses and viewpoint. So again, welcome Ray, and please tell us what are your perspectives on this thing called life?

Oh, you want to go there right off the bat?

Well, it just, it just comes out because I think it, it starts that way because we can go from the, the title of your first book is from the Atheist and the Afterlife. And then it rolls right into your second book, which is you are Alive now act like it. So from the beginning, let's roll.

Yeah. Well, first I'll say my, my thoughts on life is that I think we're here, and this is just my opinion is that we are here to become enlightened in this lifetime or in the next lifetime, and we will return until such happens in one given lifetime. And I think that's why we have a lot of the challenges that we're given and faced because we are meant to overcome them, we are meant to learn from them. And if we don't accomplish all that learning in the first lifetime, we'll do it in the next one. And going back to the beginning of my story certainly begins very much so that way, as when I was a child, I grew up in a home that was not pleasant and there was a lot of drama and trauma and all that fun stuff. And so I stayed isolated to the best of my ability. As, as a, as a young boy, I would lock myself in my room or I would stay in the basement, or I would hide in the yard. And this was just to escape what was going on inside the household. So what I ultimately started to do, and I didn't know that I was doing this, but I was putting myself in a meditative state for hours on end. And we didn't have phones, we didn't have computers, we didn't have anything yet that could occupy my mind so it was just me, my mind, and a wall, if you will. And I would stare at this wall and try to escape my reality because what was really happening was very unpleasant. And so the more I did this, day after day, hour after hour, I started to begin to see the things that weren't noticed. In other words, take the paint. It's not a gray wall or a blue wall, it's just a wall. And it's made of wood. And that wood is made of energy. And I started to be able to see the lines in the wall. If I let my eyes relax, I would begin to start seeing that. And I didn't think anything of this. I just thought it was perfectly normal. It took years before I would realize that these were energies. And then some of these energies started to become my imaginary friends. I could speak to them and they could speak to me. And again, I thought nothing of it. But when I told anybody, especially my Christian family, that did not go well for me at all. So needless to say, I shut that down very, very quickly.

Right.

And I was told to never mention that again or else.

Right.

So I didn't. And it was when I was 20 years old that I experienced my near death experience. And this is how it happened. There was a fire in my home. It was a small fire, but the way the house was situated was, is the stove is on the first floor and my bedroom is directly above it. Now, this stove was leaking natural gas which rises. And I was breathing it in all night long. So nobody really knows for how many hours I was breathing it in. And in the morning, my mother comes down to, I guess make breakfast and turns on the stove and there's this big ball of flames and the wall catches on fire and there's smoke. And the way I understand the story is my father put the fire out relatively quickly with an extinguisher. That really wasn't the problem. The gas, however, was the problem because I had been breathing it in for a long time. So I hear the fire trucks, I hear the police, I hear all this commotion downstairs. And I try to wake up and get of bed. And I find that certain parts of my body will not move. My legs felt like they weighed a thousand pounds. My head, I couldn't get off the pillow and I couldn't yell, which was really scary. So what I was able to do though, is use my arms and pull myself to the edge of the bed. And I would keep pulling and pulling and pulling until finally I got to the edge and I tumbled out and I Landed face first. Now, the first thing that was very strange about this, I knew I hit my face first, but I didn't feel pain. So I felt the hit, but it was not followed by any pain whatsoever. And that's because at that moment, I was not in that body any longer. I was above it. And I was in the corner of the room. The room was a perfect square. And the way I fell out of the bed, I would have been on the farther side, on the floor, and I was in the corner that would have been right behind me, right here. So I'm looking down at my lifeless body, but this does not scare me at all. In fact, it feels wonderful. Adjacent to me in the other corner is a cone shaped white light, almost like a tunnel, like I'm sure you've heard before. But this light is the most amazing. It's not just the light it feels. It's love, it's. It's purity, it is painlessness. It is every positive emotion, euphoria. And I am one with this light. I'm a part of the light. It's not like I'm separate from, but I'm actually intertwined into this light, right? And all the way down on the other side is a being that I cannot see. But he or she says to me, ray, you can come into the light. It's safe to come into the light. And as I proceed to go in, I want to get to the other side. The euphoria increases. So the more I go in, the euphoria gets better and better. And I can't wait to see what's on the other side. But here's what happens. My father hears the thump. And at that moment, I guess everybody realized, hey, Ray's upstairs, we better get up there. And he came up first, kicked the door in and scooped me up and held me in his arms. And he was screaming for the paramedics. And this was unusual to me because any sort of love or affection was not received from him. He just wasn't that way. And this not only took me by surprise, but it kind of like broke my heart. And, you know, he probably hugged me a handful of times, and one of them is when I'm dead. And I wanted to go back to experience that more. And that was my reason for wanting to go back. And I asked the being at the end of the light if I could. And apparently I was. The next thing I remember, though, I didn't wake up in that room. And I didn't wake up in his arms. I woke up. I Was on the living room floor, flat on my back with the paramedics on top of me doing whatever it is they do with their tools and equipment. And they're yelling, bring up the truck. Bring up the truck. We got to get this guy in. And I guess they're talking about the ambulance. The other guy says, yeah, he's got no bp. And I'm like, guys, guys, wait a minute. Wait. I feel great because this euphoria is still in me, right? So I feel fantastic, I'm saying. And then they're like, kid, you're anything but good. So just lay there and let us do what we have to do. And I'm like, what are you talking about? Get off me. Did you see the light? Did you hear the voice? And now they're looking at each other like, okay, what's. What kind of drugs is this kid on, Right? So I just shut up before, you know, I go to the wrong hospital that I can't check out of.

Because by this time, you are actually conscious back. You were back in your body. Yeah, I'm back, right.

And I'm trying to argue with them that I feel good, right? I feel better than good. I mean, it was the greatest feeling ever, right? It's still resonating through me. It's still flowing through me. That. That light, it's flowing through me.

Yeah.

And so they bring me to the hospital, I just shut up, let them do what they have to do. I was released the next day, came back home, tried to tell my mother, I think what happened, you're crazy. Don't ever tell that to anybody ever again. That absolutely did not happen. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Here it goes again. I'm crazy. I'm going to shut it down. So this is why the first book is entitled the Atheist in the Afterlife. Because I rebelled so far against religion that I chose atheism. And it didn't necessarily matter if they were Christian or Jewish or what. I was going to rebel against it, right? And so I made up my mind that there's absolutely no way. There's nothing. That just cannot be possible, that there's some loving God that allows these things to happen to kids. And what could I have possibly done at a young age to be exposed to the things I was exposed to? And so that's the way I chose to live my life. But I am a young person who can see energy doing it in the same way, mind you, that yogis do this on the other side of the world, meditating for six hours a day, seven Days a week. But I don't know. To me, it was just escapism. Right.

Right.

So I can see things. And now I cross over and I come back, and now I can really see things. Things light up and things are different. And I remember that I moved out of the house. About a year or two later, I got apartment. I was so excited. This is going to be great. We're gonna have parties all the time. This is the best thing ever. It's my bachelor pad. Right. Well, from the moment I move in, it feels like the place is already filled with people. I feel like I'm being looked at. I feel pressure.

Yeah.

Against me.

Yeah.

The lights go on and off. The TV changes channels. The blenders doesn't work. This doesn't work. The alarm goes off. I must have called anything electrical, just, you know. So I called the maintenance guy, I don't know, 50 times, and he's coming up, and he's like, listen, kid, there's nothing wrong with your apartment. Don't call me again. You're crazy. All right, here we go again. I'm crazy.

You had no idea that you had a whole team working around in that property.

And so I'm starting to buy into I'm crazy because I'm being told this so much. And anytime I try to express otherwise.

Right.

I'm starting to believe it. Now in that apartment, things got so bad that I could not sleep. And I had the worst case of insomnia I've ever had in my life. Well, I think that's the only case I had. But I started using massive amounts of drugs and alcohol to pass out.

Yeah.

It was the only way I could sleep.

Got it.

And that became habitual. And by the 10th month of living there, I finally moved out because I couldn't take it anymore. And I went to another apartment. And again, I was like, okay, clean slate. This is going to be the place. The parties, the. I get to that place, it's the same thing all over again. It's just a different place. So places aren't haunted. Race on it if such a thing. So I kick up the alcohol use, I kick up the drug use, and this is the way I'm living my life to turn these things off, because it's the only way I know how to deal with them. And no one seems to think that they're real. And this is all in my head. So I. I want to turn my head off. And this is how I choose to do it. This goes on for almost a decade maybe, or I Would say a good seven years. And I get married and I have two children, two boys. And up until this point now I don't fear death because I kind of, in the back of my mind, I know I experienced it, I know that was real. And so I'm not really concerned with going back to the light. So I put myself in some very terrible situations and I do this deliberately. It's self sabotage. It's, this is before the kids are born and I work for some shady characters and I put myself in bad situations like you would see on television. And the being that was at the end of the light would always tell me how to get out of the situation that I was currently in. So I'll give you an example. One time I was working in a bar and it was after hours and there was a couple of the boss's associates over here and there was another handful of people I never saw before on that side. They asked me for a drink and I look for the head nod, I get it. So I pour the drink. I go down to pick up another bottle. I hear pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. And I know what these are. There's enough firecrackers. So I'm in the middle of a shootout. I'm down below the bar and I need to figure out how to get out. Here comes the being and he says, side door, side door, side door. And just keep saying it, side door. And I said, I can't do this. I'm thinking, I cannot get to the seen side door, side door. So I have nothing to lose. I make a break for the side door and I get out that side door. Then you have to make a left and go down this long 40 foot corridor, at least 40ft before you get to the next door that takes you outside to the parking lot. I obviously make it, but the ironic thing here is my car was parked right outside that door and I've never parked there. In fact, I have a designated parking spot inside the building that I didn't use that day, that I always used, but I chose to park outside, outside that door, no less. So that's just one of the occasions. And there's so many other ones and they're in both books. Another one is when I was about 10 years old, and this is before the ND now, and I was swimming, my parents took me to the ocean, to the beach, and I was swimming out and then the undertow was pulling me back and pulling me back and I got really far out there and there was a handful of kids on this side of me, but I was the only kid on the side that I was on. So the lifeguard was paying his attention to the 10 kids, not the one kid. And I start going under because I can't fight the current to get back to shore. And I think for sure I'm going under and I'm going to die. I think this is it. And I'm young and I don't know what to do. And here's the being again. And he says, first of all, he calms me down. A whole feeling of calmness just took over my entire body. And he says, calm down. Take. Swim sideways. Calm down, swim sideways and take all the time you need. And he said it a couple times. And I'm thinking, swim sideways. I felt calm. I began to swim on an angle, and I did it very slow. It took all the time I needed because if I would have panicked or I would have tried to go too fast, I wouldn't have made it. So I didn't pay any attention to where I was, how far out I was, and I just swam sideways and eventually got to shore and I just collapsed. And what I later learned in life is that if you are caught in an undertow, you're supposed to swim on an angle until you get to shore. That's how you get out. There's no way I could have known that he or she didn't tell me that.

And so when we. Oh, I'm so. I. What is so intriguing, Ray, is. Is so it's a twofold question of where. Where we're headed here. Which is. So that story was even as you were a younger child, and yet you had what you now recognize. Well, here's this being that came to you. So. And I know in. In the early part of your first book, you were saying that you. You had these experiences often, often for a long time. So where I'm wondering is, have you deciphered how is it that you were chosen to have these experiences often and also now to sort of step forward? Or was it all part of the grooming to where you are now? Because there are never any accidents, including there was that car. We'll get into the metaphysics of what is it that we know, maybe ourselves ahead of us, our higher self might already know a thing. So let's just put your car here because shit's about to go down. I mean, it really. So speak to us about these things because it gets into what feels metaphysical, or is this really the nature of nature?

Well, I think that I refer to this being as a spirit guide.

Yeah.

And I do believe we all have them. And I think that why I was able to connect to mine sooner and faster was that when I was a child and I was pushing through the veil.

Right.

Focusing and concentrating, I want to, you know, leave my reality and go into another one. You know, other realms are right here. They're right on top of us. It's not like they're way out someplace else. Right. So.

Right.

The deceased are all around us, and we just can't see them, touch them, feel them, but they're here. So when I'm doing my thing and I'm just rocking back and forth. Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop. I'm pushing myself through to that, through the veil. And I. I don't. I'm not chosen. I'm not special. I am none of those things. I'm just a regular person who had to deal with irregular set of circumstances that caused me to see things maybe sooner or faster than I would have otherwise. It seems to be the common denominator amongst other mediums that I've met since is trauma. We all seem to experience very significant traumas at a young age, and I think that that plays a role in the development, forced development, if you will. Right. Not that you can't develop it otherwise.

Right.

You don't want to do it the way I did it, but I was pushed there because I was trying to escape where I really was.

Right.

And so I think, to answer your question, that's. That's what I was doing it myself involuntarily or. Or not knowing that I was doing it.

So this is beautiful. And I think you've actually tapped into quite a few things, which is so. From your growing up, which was in. We'll call it the box, you know, the prescribed box of perhaps like the 50s or 60s, which is different than now. So the kids now coming in are coming in with that lighter consciousness, and they. They understand that there's. The bridge is right here. Right. So from like, we. We are part of that last generation and coming in with our parentage and their religious background of, you know, hell and evil and sin and this and this. So the. The constructs have been so tight. So for the sensitives, I'll say the super sensitive. So if you came in as basically a sensitive child having these experiences, and I can recognize I came in as a sensitive child, not understanding any of any of this until I got cracked open in 2016 pretty hard and beautifully with good mentors that the all of this really is possible and, and some literally physically die and come back. Some can reach it in other states and I've again with the great mentoring can reach these states or who knows if we've really died in our dreams and come back because that's dream states and where we go from there. But that said, all of this, you say you're a regular guy, I'm a regular girl. These things are available to all of us. Which gets into that. We are alive now and let's live. And I've met Anita Moorjani and I've met just recently in Tennessee, this beautiful soul who has died and come back a number of times. And you all share this greater perspective of to not fear death because if we all run around fearing that we're not really living.

Right.

So share from that perspective because I have a feeling that this is the nugget of your work when you're working with people and coaching is to strip away these boundaries, strip away what's our impediment, our mental or physical, our spiritual impediments to understand the. We're the only ones in our way of all our fears.

Exactly right. One of the things that I, that I teach are the laws of ascension. And the first law of ascension is you're going to die. And when you change, that's not meant to be morbid or scary. That's meant to let you know that it doesn't end here. So don't be afraid of that time when it comes. And I'm not saying rush it either, because you've got.

Right. Because there are those that want to do that. Yeah, that's a, that's a whole thing. Right.

And, and, and often nd years we get accused of romanticizing it to the point where people want to give it a shot. Don't.

Don't do that. No, this is not suicidal ideation. This. That's not what we're talking about. And that's part of a whole other. That's a whole other thing.

That's.

Yeah. Right.

So. But when you change your relationship with death and you don't become fearful of it.

Right.

Live. And I really, really live. And every day like it's your last. And so many studies were done with folks that were given their amount of time that they have left. You know, you have one year or you have six months, their relationship with life and death and their friends and family completely changes. It's like a weight is lifted off their shoulders. They don't care about anything and they live in the moment, and they love the moment. And they tell everybody how much they love them and care about them every minute of every day. Doesn't that sound like we should all do that? We have that mentality that's right to do that. And they. And they do everything on their bucket list, all the things that they want to do. Shouldn't we do that just because it's Tuesday? Do we have to wait until the end? So when you change that and you remove that construct, it does free you.

So when did you get past perhaps these waves of experiences and beginning the next phase of this awakening process for yourself?

So I had my kid, my kids, like I said, and they changed me because now I had a reason to live. Right. They were my reason. The marriage fell apart very quickly in a couple of years, but I still had the kids. And I went to rehab and I went back to college and I got a real job, and I did everything by the book, the way I was, quote, unquote, quote, supposed to do it. And I was successful. I did well. And many, many years later, I decided I was going to date and I didn't want to do it. I mean, I dated a little bit, but it wasn't very serious. I wanted to eventually meet somebody and settle down, but I didn't want to do that until my kids were old enough to understand that. Right. Because they would have hated anybody that they met. So eventually, when I did decide to do this, I think I'm in my late 40s at this point, mid or late 40s, and I go online to sign up to one of those websites, and I'm going through the different sites and they give you examples of ladies that are in your area, you know, to try to entice you, to get you to join the site. Right. And. And no, it wasn't Tinder. It was a little more reputable than that.

That's right.

But so, and I'll never forget, I got to the site and there's four women on it, and she's the third one down. And I looked at that picture and I stopped and my mouth just hit the floor. And I was like, that is my wife. And I joined the site and I sent one email only to her, and I told her, this is the only email I'm sending because you're my wife and you don't know this yet. And by the way, my name's Ray.

Did you really. You actually said that the.

Exactly. Yeah, I cut and pasted it. It was funnier than that. It's in the book. It's in the first book, verbatim. Good, good, good. So she responds with, lol, you're at. You're crazy. And I said, I know, I know that. I've been told that my whole life, you know, but she thought it was funny. And we wound up going out and we're married and we're still married and we live in this house and she is my soulmate. But when we first start dating, things get weird and, and, and here's why. Up until that point, all the energy and the things that I have seen have never taken human form. It's just been energy, right? So when I meet her and we're probably two months into dating, I would say something like that. And you know, the usual conversation which I think is normal, comes up that, well, so what are your religious or spiritual beliefs? She says to me, and I'm like, oh, no, not that question. And I said, what are yours? And whatever she said, I was going to say, that's me too. Yeah, but true, she, she was smarter than that. And I said, I, I don't know. I said, I really don't know. I've been trying to figure that out and it's always been placed on the back burner. I said, but maybe it's a good time for me to figure that out. And she said, well, it's your birthday coming up and I am going to buy you a spiritual clearing where they clear your energy. And I said, like a massage?

And she said, a really good one.

Absolutely not. I said, she's like, in fact, you don't even have to be there. You know, the woman will call you, it's done. Distantly. And she'll tell you when she's going to start and she'll call you when she's finished and tell you what she sees. And I was like, okay, are we gonna have cake? Because I want something out of this. And you know, I had no beliefs. No, you know, but I was very respectful. The woman called me on the phone, I said, thank you very much, I appreciate your time and what you're doing, but I had no idea what any of this meant or what it was. And she calls me about 90 minutes later and she says, I've completed it. And she tells me everything that she saw. And she was like, God, you had blockages everywhere, know what that means? And I'm like, well, I appreciate you. And she said, don't make any life changing decisions for the next 48 hours and try to, try not to have any appointments of any Kind if you can avoid it for the next day or so. And I said, okay. And with that, I hang up the phone and I'm in my office. I'm at work. And as the day goes on, I get up out of my office chair and I go to walk towards the bathroom. And all of a sudden I am. My equilibrium is off and I'm just kind of, like, wobbly. And I don't. I don't put two and two together right away, but I get to the bathroom and then I'm like. I try to, like, just shake it off and I come back. But no, it happens again. And then later in the day, it starts to feel like I'm in that apartment again. And here are, you know, my quote unquote friends. And I'm feeling that energy. And I'm literally having, like a PTSD moment. My head starts pounding. And I said, I'm going home. I have a headache. It was a Friday. I went home and went to sleep. Woke up. But before I go to sleep, this is what I. This is what happens. This is what I see. I start to get vibrations. I see the shooting lines across the room. I see the swirlies at a corner of my eye. And I feel. I start to feel it. I know what's coming. Energy is coming. That's energy. I feel it. I can see it. But now this is the first time ever that in my mind, a movie screen opens up. It's like a. Like a. Like a theater. Sitting in front of the theater. And I'm watching a man on the. On in the movie. But he's talking to me as though I'm part of the movie. And he says, I effed up. I made a mistake. You can help her. I can't. And I'm like trying to shake cobwebs out of my head. Like, what was that? You know, Right. I don't know who the man is. Never saw him before in my life. I don't know what this message is. I have no. I don't even know that it's a message. I just think that's nuts. You know, I just thought that my head. But 10, not 10 minutes, I would say. An hour later, he comes back and does it again. So I decide to take some Benadryl and knock myself out and go to sleep. And I wake up the next day and it's Saturday. And there he is again, first thing in the morning, there he is. And he's with me all day, every hour, maybe every 90 minutes. I don't know what the exact time was. But he just keeps coming back, and he says the same thing. Effed up. I made a mistake. You can help her. I cannot. Stocky guy, beard, mustache, dark hair, thick black hair. Had a particular shirt on that was in style in the 90s. Like, I could remember it. And it just keeps. Says this over and over now. By the Sunday, I get through Saturday, but by Sunday, he's so persistent. He's there what feels like every 10 minutes. And now I can't drive. I can't function. I can't have a conversation. I can't stay focused on anything at all. And I try to drive to the store to get a few things that I need. And I'm at the counter about to pay for my stuff, and I don't know what I did, but the lady says, sir, are you okay? And I said, no, no. And she was even taken aback. I was like, no, no, I'm not okay. And I took my credit card and I went back to the car and I said, I don't know who I'm talking to, because I don't believe in God. But I'm saying, God, I did all this work, you know, Like, I. I. I did everything. I went to rehab. I dealt with the. The things, and I fixed my life. And I. And I. And I don't. I did all of this. And now I'm crazy. Now I think it. I am crazy. I'm losing my mind. This is the end. And I start getting my affairs in order, making sure that my brother has my will, make sure he has a dnr, make sure he has power of attorney, because I literally believe that this is it. And now I have to tell this woman that I finally found who I believe is my soulmate, who I love more than anything else in the world, that I am crazy. And she has the right to know so she can move on and find somebody else. And that's the plan. I'm gonna tell her. So I do. I proceed to get into it, and I tell her what I see and what I feel and what happens first. And then the movie screen opens, and here he is, almost front and center, very forceful, thick hair, beard, mustache, the shirt, everything. And she's listening intently, like, leaning over almost, you know, like. And I. And. And I'm just waiting for her to say, call this doctor and never call me again. And, you know, to add to this craziness of this story, my wife is a doctor of psychology in neuropsychology. Pediatric, to be exact. And so I'm going To tell a doctor of psychology that I see dead people and she's going to just run. But I also figure maybe she'll get me the help I need. So if this, if anything, could even be done at all. So I proceed to tell her. And like I said, she was leaning in intently, and I gave her the message. I effed up. I made a mistake. You can help her. I can not. And with that, she lights up and she says, that sounds like my dad. And I said, babe, your dad is dead. You told me he died, like 90 something. And she's like, yeah, I know. And I'm like, now she thinks I'm speaking to dead people. She's nuts. I'm getting out of here. This is crazy. And she's like, would you just relax? You're probably a psychic medium. You don't know it. And I said, well, what the hell is the medium? I don't know. She says, mediums are people. She explains what they can do, how they do it, and she says, I've been to many mediums, and my dad comes through a lot. Always the way you just explained him. One of the most famous mediums in the world. He cried when he came. When my dad came through. That's how powerful it was. So she says, there's a medium that's going to come to our area who's very well known, very prominent. Why don't I book us a couple of appointments, you go in and talk to her, you guys talk shop, you come out and you get your answers. And I said, okay, sounds great.

Because during these times, you didn't. It didn't occur to you to ask, like, who are you? Or what? It didn't occur to you even because of all of the other history that you'd have. And so your go to was, oh, crap, I think I'm hearing, quote, unquote, crazy voices.

Yeah.

So you didn't know that this was an invitation?

Didn't know.

Yeah.

Remember now? Since I was 6, I was told I was crazy.

Yeah.

Then, NDE days, I was told I was crazy. I moved out of my house. The maintenance man told me I was crazy. Everybody told me I was crazy. So this is what I bought into.

Yep.

So I meet with the medium, and it was a very. I was nervous. I was, like, shaking. She was very relaxed. And I just said, hi, my name's Ray. And she's like, you're that Ray, aren't you? And I said, I don't know what that means. And I sat down. And she goes, how can I help you, Ray. And I said, well, I kind of see people that aren't there. She goes, me too. And we. We chuckled. And she says, why don't you tell me how it happens? And I said, okay. So it starts with vibrations, and sometimes they're low and sometimes they're high. And then my body starts to, like, get. They flow through. My body is tingly. I see lines going across out of the corner of my eyes. I see these swirly things. And she. And then the movie screen opens and she says, stop, stop, stop. And I said, what? She goes, that's exactly the way I see it. In fact, that's the way we see it. All see it. She said. And I was like, who's we all? She goes, mediums. And I didn't know what to do with that in that moment because insanity was something that I understood and mediumship was something I didn't. So although we can look at it now and say mediumship is better than being insane in that moment. Was it really? Because it's an unknown thing to me. So which is worse? I don't know. And she's, you know, she's just laughing and everything. And she made me very relaxed, you know. And she says, you know, these are abilities, these are gifts, and you should utilize them. And we went through all the different things that I could do and how I could do it. I had premonitions, and I used to give them to my wife, and she would know who they are and where they're supposed to go to. And I would always tell her, never ever tell your friend it's from me. I don't want anybody to know. I don't want the neighbors to know. I don't want anybody to know that you get this from me. She goes, relax. I'll just say it comes from my medium. So the woman who's the medium takes me on as a student for the first year. Thank God she did, because she saved my life and taught me so much. Taught me most importantly, how to turn it on and off, how to say no. And because it was so intrusive, and that was the big factor, the intrusiveness. And she said to me, she goes, by the way, once you gave the message, what happened? And I said, you went away. Exactly. He would have went away a lot longer, a short, a lot before, had you just simply told her the information. Because that's all they want you to do, is just give the information. Not trying to haunt you. They're not trying to bother you. They just simply want you to deliver the message. And I was like, oh, okay. So a year goes by, and it's my birthday again. And my wife says, what do you want to do for your birthday? And always on my birthday, something happens. And I said, I don't care where we go. I just want a bunch of trees. And I'll take a cabin and an outhouse. I just want trees. You know, Like. Like, who am I now? Who have I become? I don't. I don't recognize myself. And she's even. She's stunned. She's like, you don't want to go to an island. Forget about islands. I don't know. People. Just trees. You, me, trees. That's it. Camp.

Fun. Simple.

Simple. Yeah. Strip it away. Because it all this all of a sudden started to become meaningless. So.

Oh, you hit that point also. So at the same. So beside the mediumship, you're having your awakening moment, which literally is stripping away.

Yeah.

Everything that we think we've known.

Yeah. But I don't.

Did I get that right?

Yeah, but I just. I don't re. I don't recognize it for what it is just yet. All I know is I've become a tree hugger, and I don't know why.

And you haven't even gotten to the God part yet.

Right, exactly.

Right, right, right.

So. So there we are, and we're in this cabin in the middle of nowhere, and she pulls out an illustration out of her bag. And it's a. It's an illustration of her dad. I said, that's your dad. She goes, I know. And I said, but what you don't know is that's the way I see him. Like, the hair, the beard, the muscle, everything is like, that's the shirt. That's the shirt. And she goes, well, that's. We used to joke about it. That's his Christmas shirt because he was a construction worker. He was a builder, and he was very successful. He owned the company and he would build homes for people and. But he would never dress up. So they called that the Christmas shirt because he broke it out once a year. It was this one nice shirt he had one for Thanksgiving and one for Christmas, and it was the last shirt he wore before he died. And so I said, but who drew that? I got to meet the person that drew that because that's the way I see him. And she said, a medium did. Are you kidding me? I wish I could draw. How could you get better validation than that?

If I could draw, this is where what I call the Kamsu can't make this stuff up. Yeah, like if there's synchronicity and then there's that, we can make this stuff up. Cam Sue. Yeah.

So. So instantly we. We get the laptop and we're going through, you know, putting his name and trying to figure out how I get in touch with this guy. And the website, right? On the website it says, now taking applications for a two year mentorship program. You must apply by February 15th. That is my birthday.

And so there you go.

Are you going to apply? I said, this is divine intervention, honey. And she's like, who are you? I don't know, but I'm going to go hug a tree. And I'm filling out the application. And I did. And it was very difficult to. He put us through a lot of hoops. The application was just the beginning. Then there was a big application where it was like all essay questions. What happens first, what happens second? What happens third? What do you feel? It was just everything from soup to nuts, and it was like, very tedious. And then you go for an interview, it's on the phone. And then after the interview, you get another application. So you have to go through all these steps. And then after I did all of that, I never heard from him again. So I'm like, I'm not real or I'm not real enough. And I'm all the way back to doubting myself all over again. And so I called his assistant just to double check and make sure that I wasn't chosen. And I said, I just wanted to check in, make sure that I didn't get it. And she says, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, we haven't chosen yet. There's hundreds of applications. And I was like, wow, hundreds of applications. And I said, okay, thank you very much. And I hung up. And I remember doing the math. Hundreds of applications. This was a two year program. It was several thousand dollars, times 100 people. It's a windfall for him. Right. All he had to do was say, yeah, you're all real. Come on in. I did make the cut. I was number 11 of 11 and all the rest were denied. I don't know that I could do that myself, pass up that much money. But with that integrity, I told him, I'm never leaving you. I don't want to graduate in two years. I'm. It's five years now later, and I'm still. I still attend class and I still interact with him and. And you know, he's been like a father to me. And I told him that and you know, the, the kind of filled that void I never really had. And he taught us about everything. It wasn't just mediumship, or at least with me, it was we. He told me so many different things. How to meditate properly, how to, how to understand how the world works and how to stop fighting for things and how to make things come to you. And then I just started to read and read and read and I read everybody from Deepak, Eckhart, Tolle. I read all about the physicists, the rock stars of the 30s, like Einstein, Tesla and Niels Bohr, you name it, I studied them. I read Freud, I read Carl Jung, and. And I was still in have having new mentors in addition to him. So I started to put this all together and I said, well, what made me this big skeptic? And that was always that there was nothing to back up the claims, right? There was nothing that made sense of how am I speaking to somebody who's not there. So I started to figure out spiritual concepts and how physics, real physics, can make that so. So in other words, I figured out the law of attraction was the first one I went after. How does that work? Because I did it and it worked for me very, very well. Now, before I tell somebody, I need to have that integrity, I need to make sure it works. And furthermore, I need to make sure somebody can replicate it. And furthermore, I have to tell them how it works because if I can't do that, then I can't explain any of it.

You're trying to make it tangible. Yes, something tactile, tangible to look, see, touch, feel, feel, believe, notice, see, see that if it can happen over here, it can happen over here too.

That's right. That's right. And, and, and it's. And I take, I strip out the. I don't use terminology. I try to keep my terminology to being as scientific as I can. And so everybody can, can adopt it. You know what I mean? It's not that science is over here and spirituality is over here and religion hates us both. So I'm trying to get everybody just to come together and have a look, because there's something here for everybody. It's really here. Science can accept spirituality, spirituality can accept science, and religion can open their eyes and go, wow, you know, maybe there is more than we were thinking.

And I think that's the objective. I think that's so true. And I'm thinking I'm seeing it as the three, perhaps piece of the Trinity, but that's where it's from, that one Space. If you can see the sun and believe in that, that's the belief that's right there. It's very tangible. If we feel joy from a baby's laughter, what is that? Right. It just. It, it where the intangible can feel very tangible. And then the religion it is. I don't necessarily want to rabbit hole it too much, but I'm looking at your beautiful books in back of you. There's so many books that have been written from all kinds of perspectives from the dawn of time through people and their own belief systems and where things are perfect and where things may have gotten watered down and muddied or politicized, et cetera, et cetera. So I giving religion a bad rap per se. But I think it has confused so many people to, to have stepped away from that smiling baby or a rainbow or the beauty of a tree and to know that that too is God, that is that source. And then that brings in the sciences. So that's part of my own come from as well, is being very, very agnostic. I tried to go to all the different churches, but there was. And I loved it until I just didn't get it. I didn't get it. But now I understand why I didn't get it because it felt too difficult. It was just too difficult. When really it's very simple.

You know, when you think about it, Buddha was not a Buddhist and Jesus was not a Christian.

That's right.

And both of their teachings are magnificent when you read them in the context in which they were meant to be ready.

Right.

Not in the way Constantine rewrote and edited the Bible for all of us to have today, which is the one we read now, that was not supposed to be what Jesus was saying. And if you ever listen to Eckhart Tolle, he interprets Jesus like nobody else I've ever seen. I love his interpretations. I hope he writes a book just on Jesus one day because I'm a huge Jesus fan and he's really, really, really got him, I think. Excellent, excellent.

Well. And there it is. And I think, gosh, we could get into past lives. That could be a whole nother episode in terms of where we've also been in all of these different walks. And of course, you know, if Jesus was. You have the Christ consciousness and if that was Buddha and that was times. How many beings that have walked this earth, perhaps Gandhi just. Or the Beatles or who knows, right. It all comes through. It all comes through somehow, right? Let Mother Mary, let it be. It just. It. It's in us every day and how it, how it comes through from so many books and so and music and art and through these great beings. So. Yes. So Ray, how is it? Let's turn the page a little bit into where. Where you're are now of service. You've been coming into yourself. And we are always learning more and more. So it's great to still have our mentors and our teams and, and understanding how these things are working. And I do think we're getting bopped on the head energetically that it's a big busy time right now that we're even what we thought we've known it's even more. So how are you spending your time? And I know you have a beautiful website. I think you mentioned earlier you're going to be even expanding that and having different offerings and tell us more about this current iteration of Ray.

Sure. Um, so I have gravitated away from mediumship. Was thinking of doing that professionally, but I chose not to because while I was writing the second book, I had a huge spiritual awakening at the end of it and I actually had to go back and rewrite a lot of the parts. But then I. I'm. If I can do it, you can do it. Right? And I'm. I don't mean you, you. I'm. I know you have, but I'm talking, you know, anybody can.

The proverbial you, all of us.

Anyone out there who has not really, really had that awakening. You know, that moment where you lose your negative emotions and they just dissipate very, very quickly. That's what I chose to do because that was so big for me. That was the biggest thing and I know it. You know, but you could talk to dead people. And I said, I understand, but I don't feel that's my calling that.

Right. I understand that.

I think my calling is to help people have these awakenings and because I can, I can say it to the average person, because I'm an average person. I'm not special, you know, I'm just a regular guy and I write like a regular guy and I'm. I am, you know, not even a writer. And there's tons of four letter words in my books and it's just, that's me. And that's what you get a hundred percent of just me. And I think that the books have been well received. I'm grateful, I'm honored and I have coaching. Go through my website@raycatania.com and soon we'll have classes that you could take online. And it Won't be just coaching, but there'll be additional classes as well. So we're really going to build that up and I'm excited about that. So thanks for allowing me to say that. Thank you.

Of course. Of course. Well, the other thing too is our humanity. That's really why we're here. And, and I think where say in the holistic and spiritual classes and I mentioned this recently to somebody. We can Om Shanti ourselves into such seriousness. Right. And if you look the same or you dress away or this is this. This. Well, no. How about some humor and F bombs and, and being our human selves in our. In this imaginary playland that we're in called humanity and earth right now. That's where we get to laugh. And, and that goes back to the kids. The kids know to do that, you know, just be fun and frivolous and, and splash in puddles and do these crazy things and we just don't necessarily need to Om Shanti our way into, you know, there is that nothing. And we need that nothing. And then we need to splash in a puddle and swear or do what we need to do and kiss somebody hard and you know, all that fun stuff.

Yeah, I agree.

Yeah. So what is it else that you're feeling that would be helpful, especially as people and maybe we should just touch very briefly for. Because it is May mental health awareness month and having that difference of where to reach out to help and having that 360. Maybe somebody could use some medical intervention if they're, you know, maybe they're having a schizophrenic type of a break. How that said. So there is that help. But that said too to know that. Hold on. That even that could be also part of. You're just not being your old self anymore. That's part of the cracking open, if you will. And here are some resources.

Yeah. So especially what my mentor told me that I'll never forget is if you are having experiences like these and you need to get yourself to somebody, a mentor or an expert who trusted help. You define it. So you know, because it. Listen, if you're a medium and you're having experiences and you don't address them, you can become schizophrenic. Maybe you weren't, but you can't.

Well, it can. It could drive you crazy.

Yeah.

Right. Because you have, you have no reference point. Right. But you need a reference point and you need, you definitely need a team. And, and I'll say here, just everybody get help that you need. Just get help that you need. Yeah, reach out for sure. But I. Sorry, I didn't want to cut you off. I was just sort of making that plug about everybody taking that moment to know where they might need some help.

Yeah, it's the most important thing I think anybody could do. And I have so many people that are. I get emails all the time that say everybody tells me I'm crazy. This is what happened. You know, is this real? And, and I answer every email. It may take a little bit, but I'll get there, I promise. Because I believe that everybody needs that help and they need to know whether you come to me for coaching or somebody else, that's fine. But get to somebody, get to somebody. And I think that somebody who has a really good grip on metaphysics is, dare I say, and my wife is a psychologist, so I'm going to say this and get hit later, but I.

Doubt it because you guys are a good team. You guys are a really good team. Yes.

But she'll even say she sends me the parents, she takes the kids. Right. It's, it's just metaphysics and metaphysical counseling is the new psychology and it, it works so much faster and you don't need abilities to overcome your ego and shut it down.

So I think that's so true. And, and that, that's that team effort too where it's, you know, the kids are feeling a certain way because it's really the parents, right? The grown ups who haven't known how to navigate a new way of communication, a new way of. That their kids are a different energy than you think of our, like your dad to you, you know, our parents to us, their parents to them. It's been, this is a generational thing that we're all the, all our kids are here to shake up the world and, and crack some new codes and teach us something. And so this is where I'm all about team community. And what you just said about your wife is doing this part, you have this piece and that's the 360. Each one reach one. And it doesn't have to be complicated. Sometimes it is literally taking that pause, taking a deep breath, looking up from a computer or something and seeing there's a beautiful tree and taking a walk. Right.

Just being grateful that we're here right now. Right.

And I woke up today. That's right.

Right.

I woke up today. And that kind of, let's just bring that full circle because you have literally medically had those experiences of being that you were physically not in your body and then you were brought back. And some people may debunk that, but I know that this happens all the time and I have a feeling it happens a lot more often than we really even think so. And I'm looking at something here that's just, just to be grateful to know that, oh, look it, I did wake up and we are here and it's not, you know, this nirvana perfection unless it really is, but even a stubbed toe or whatever, come what may is another opportunity to know that, oh, we get to be part of this life and maybe we're meant to talk to somebody in a waiting room that we didn't want to be waiting in or whatever it is. It's. We're all doing this thing and, and that's what makes it great and to be grateful of it. And I know as I'm an old Bostonian where sometimes everything has to kind of suck and the old Puritanism, you're, you're a New Yorker, everything, everybody really just has to suck until. Until they don't. But that's just it too. There's so much heart also, which I also, I saw in Boston recently. And New Yorkers have nothing but heart really, once you peel it back and they don't want to kill you. But anyway. But speak more to that too, that this is, you know, we have our cultures, we have our come froms, we have, we have our genealogy and then there are the spaces where we can look at that, appreciate the history and then make new choices and have different outcomes.

One of the things that I think is so important and I teach this is do one thing just for somebody else and that could be anybody and you will change their day. Like you said, sitting in a waiting room and just turn to the person next to you and talk to them and smile and you know, it's nice to meet your. What just anything that you can do to brighten somebody's day and then reward yourself, do something that's only for you, that's okay. Self care is good too. So one thing for somebody else, one thing for yourself, and you are stimulating the most positive karma that you could possibly stimulate. And it's just one person at a time. My wife and I wake up, we kid around like, what are you doing today? Just changing the world and shit. One person at a time. And we get on with our day and we're thankful and we work 14 hours a day and if there were more hours and I didn't fall asleep, I would do more. And it's because I love what I'M doing and so does she.

Well that's where it's not work. It's not that drudgery. That's the that's that metaphysical flip the switch that is no this is a joyous way to spend my time, Ray. This has been a very joyous way to spend my time and our viewers and listeners for lasting conversations really appreciate this conversation. Thank you so much.

Thank you Heather. It's been an honor. Thank you.

Thank you. So where can we find you? How would you like people to reach out, Ray?

Catania.com is my website. You can find more about the books, coaching, teaching, everything is up there. You can contact me through there as well.

A Catania.com Very cool and I think are you on the socials or not so much mostly the website.

You'll find me everywhere on socials just at Ray Catania or Ray underscore Catania and you'll find me everywhere.

Very cool. Thanks again Ray and thanks again for listening everybody. This is lasting conversations we get to the heart of everything.