For Years This Atheist Tried To Deny What He Saw During Shocking NDE

I believe this being. For some reason, I didn't believe many humans, let alone a being at the end of a tunnel. But I trusted him and I went further into the light and this resulted in me feeling more and more euphoric. And I wanted to continue all the way to the other side. I wanted it to see what it was like.

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Well, hello everybody, how are you today? My name is Ray Catania and I am an NdeR and I'm here to tell you that the Nde is very, very real. I'll tell you a little bit about my background before we get to that however, I would say that, well, unfortunately my childhood was not a particularly special one. It was a lot of trauma, drama, turmoil, fighting and things of that nature which led me to spend a lot of time by myself. And in those isolated moments it was almost like I was meditating if you will. I didn't know I was doing that because I was 5, 6, 7 years of age, but I was isolated and just staring at a wall. We didn't have cell phones or anything back in those days that would entertain us. So I was just basically hiding in a closet under the bed in basement or the backyard and just trying to stay clear of everything that was going on in the household. And eventually when you do this multiple hours a day and multiple days a week, you will start to strip away the things that are man made and the wall becomes colorless and it's not made of wood anymore. You just begin to see the energy that Makes up the particles and what holds things together. And when you get in tune with energy in that way, it changes the way you see the rest of the world. Now, as a child, this didn't bother me one bit. It didn't scare me at all. Have no preconceived notions at that age. But coming from a home like that and then getting into my teens and twenties, well, since chaos was my comfort zone, I took chaos with me outside of the home and I would bring it with me wherever I went. So as a young teen and throughout my 20s, if there was no chaos around me, well, I would create the chaos or I would look for the chaos to be part of the chaos. Because of the way I lived, I didn't really fear death. I didn't really care if I lived or died. So I lived life rather recklessly, put myself in harm's way many times in some pretty bad situations where I could have wound up dying. And one time, well, I did, and that's my near death experience. And I didn't put myself in this one. Surprisingly, it was a fire that took place in my home and I was still living at home with my parents. And my bedroom was on the second floor. The first floor was the kitchen directly underneath me. And there was a stove that ran on gas. It was natural gas. And if you know anything about natural gas is it raises and it goes up into. It was coming into my room and I was breathing it in for hours. And I didn't notice this at the time. I guess the morning came around and my mother went downstairs to turn on the stove to make breakfast or something like that. And second, she lit the stove, it was just a big ball of fire just, you know, kind of erupted out of the stove and it caught the wall on fire and there was smoke. And the way I understand the story is the fire wasn't terrible. I was put out rather quickly by my father. But it wasn't the smoke or the fire that hurt me in any way. It was the gas that I was inhaling all night long. So I heard the fire trucks, I heard the police cars, and I tried to struggle to get out of bed. And I say struggle because I couldn't feel a good portion of my body. I couldn't feel my legs. They felt like they were just a thousand pounds. And I couldn't move them, couldn't get my head off the pillow, couldn't yell. So I was trying to get to the edge of, of the bed. And I figured if I could get to the edge of the bed and I could fall out, somebody would notice that I was up there because I didn't even know if they knew I was there. So I kept pulling and pulling and pulling until I finally did get to the edge of the bed and I did fall out. I landed face first. The interesting thing about this was is that I knew I hit the ground face first, but I felt no pain whatsoever. I knew I hit it, but there was no pain. And that's because I was not inside my body in that moment. I've heard this from a lot of ND's years, that right before the pain sets in, you leave your body. And I was in the corner of the room and I was looking down at my lifeless body next to the bed. The light was adjacent to me, it was across the way in the opposing corner. And it was shining on my energetic self. And this light was everything you've ever heard and more. It was love, it was kindness, it was compassion, it was euphoric. And my energetic self blended with this light, became one with the light. When and if you've ever experienced this, this is not something that you want to leave by any means. The light was like a long tunnel that I could go into. And the further I would go into this tunnel or light, the more the euphoria would increase. And I won't forget, at the end of the tunnel, there's a being. And this being is saying, ray, it's okay to come into the light. And I believe this being. For some reason, I didn't believe many humans, let alone a being at the end of a tunnel. But I trusted him and I went further into the light. And this resulted in me feeling more and more euphoric. And I wanted to continue all the way to the other side. I wanted it to see what it was like. But then my father came bursting into the room. He kicked the door in and he picked me up and he was distraught. He was crying and yelling for the paramedics. And, you know, he and I, we didn't have a very good relationship. And. And in that moment, I felt something that I had never felt from him before. I guess that was something that I always wanted or longed for. And in that moment, I asked the being at the end of the light if I could go back. And I said something like, I can't leave him like that. So I kind of made it about him, like I was negotiating or something. And I don't know, but for whatever reason, I was allowed to come back. And I was no longer in that room. I woke up and I was on the living room floor, and the paramedics were working on me very diligently, and they had all their tools and equipment, and they were yelling, bring up the truck. Bring up the truck. And that meant the ambulance. I woke up and I said, guys, I feel great. In fact, I feel fantastic. The euphoria stays with you. It lingers for a while. I felt like I was fine. I didn't need any medical attention, or so I thought. And they said, trust me, son, you're not fine, and insisted that I go to the hospital, which I did. I said, well, didn't you hear the voice? Didn't you see the light? I mean, didn't you guys see that stuff? And now they're looking at each other like I'm completely out of my mind. And I'm starting to think that I'm going to wind up in a hospital, a different type of hospital where I can't check myself out of, if you know what I mean. So I just basically kept that to myself. And even afterwards, later on, when I told anybody about this, they just told me I was crazy. In those days, we didn't have personal computers yet. There was no Internet. I couldn't just jump on and look it up and see if other people experienced what I had. There was only word of mouth. And like I said, anybody I told would just think I was out of my mind. So I just buried it. Now, because of my upbringing and my parents coming basically teaching me Christianity. And it did nothing against Christianity. I would have rebelled against anything, and I rebelled against all religion, and I became an atheist. So I called myself an atheist. And even after the nde, I insisted that I was an atheist because this is the way I chalked up my nde. I figured, well, my analytical mind takes and says, you fell in front of a window on what was likely a sunny day, so the white light was the sun. You inhaled enough gas fumes that you were hallucinating, and that's the being and the light and whatever else. So I just kind of put it away in a little box and shoved it into the corner of my mind where I didn't have to deal with it and didn't have to address it. Nonetheless, I never did get that relationship that I was looking for with my father. And I'll tell you, when you come back into your body, the pain is like a bomb goes off inside of you, all aches and pains. Everything that you have, an injury that you had in a sporting event 10 years ago, they all just flare up, you feel everything and it's times 10. And I was just like, why in God's name did I make this choice? I should have gone into the light. So in the back of my mind, even though I'm really trying to cling to atheism, in the back of my mind, I know that there's no reason to fear death. And I'm a young person again coming from a troubled environment and didn't have any particular reason to live. It didn't matter. So I worked for some shady characters and you know, they would have disagreements, shall we call them, and a lot of these would happen in nightclubs and bars and things like that. And I remember one time I was under the bar to get a bottle of something or other and I heard, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. And I know that they're shooting at each other. And I'm trying to figure out, how am I going to get out of this place alive? And the being comes to me and says, side door, side. And I said, I can't get out the side door because the side door, the shooter is going to see me. I'm not going to make it to the side door. So eventually I have absolutely nothing to lose. There only is a side door. And so I run to the side door. And even if I got through that door, which I did, I still had to go down a long corridor, it was like a 40 foot long corridor to get to the next door, which was another side door to the outside in the parking lot. And I made it. And ironically enough, I had parked my car right outside that door and I never parked there before. I always parked on the other side of the building. And yet I chose to park there for some reason on that night. That's just one of many examples in my book about this being saving my life and being there for me. So this being has been with me throughout the majority of my life, saving me over and over again, even in times where I can recall manifesting a car accident. And one of the things that I've learned throughout the years is you can manifest good and bad things. And I had a job that I didn't want to go to anymore for just simply because of the harassment and the things that I was dealing with being at that job. So I really didn't want to go to this job. And one day I re met a friend, I should say, and he had all this money and I was like, well, where did you get all this money from? And he said, oh, I had a car Accident. And I sued and I got all this money and I was started to think, well, what if I have a car accident and I can sue somebody and I can get a lot of money, I don't have to go to a stupid job anymore. And I would think about this every day. How can I pull this off, how can this happen? How can I be sure I won't get hurt that much or whatever. So I kept thinking about it and thinking about it. And then one day I was driving to work and it was raining, and I was in the middle lane of a highway and the car in the right lane started to just cut over into my lane without looking. And he didn't cause the accident. He actually went back in his lane as I blew my horn. But being the idiot that I was back in those days, I had to pull up alongside him and tell him everything that I thought about him, him, every four letter word that I could think of. And I was yelling at him. What I wasn't looking at was what was right in front of me. And that was that traffic had come to a dead halt. And so at 55 miles an hour plus, I drove right into the back of the car that was in front of me. And then the car behind me hit me. And it was in that moment that the being said, get under the dash, get under the dash. We didn't wear seatbelts in those days. We didn't have to. There was no laws yet. So I put my head under my arms and I got myself under the dash. And the next car that hit that car hit me again. And now I went into the left lane where another car hit me again, another car hit that car, which hit me again. And finally when I saw the pictures, the car was halfway on the divider, faced the wrong way. And I remember the policewoman came, tried to open the door that was on my side and she said something like, is he with us? Meaning am I dead or alive? And I was, was so crunched inside the car, I couldn't really move, but I could move my finger. And I just tried to move my fingers so they could know that I was alive. I was in and out of consciousness. But again, I escaped death. And I don't know why they saved me. I have absolutely no idea. So having, being this young person who has no fear of death, puts themselves in harm's way, doesn't really care too much about anything. I've crossed over, I've been to the other side and back. I have this experience with energy as a child. When you cross over and you come back and you can read energy and you can see energy. Well, what transpires is I opened a portal to the other side and anyone could just come through me. And what happened was, is there was kind of like the energies while they were still there, but they weren't as prominent. They weren't really bothering me. Because what I later learned in life is that if you're not going to help them and you're. You're not going to interact with them because you don't know how, I didn't know how they're going to eventually leave you alone. But they were present and they would float around and I would see it and I would just tell no one because God forbid I told anybody, I would be labeled crazy. Years goes by and my marriage falls apart very quickly. But I still have my kids and I'm raising my kids. And as they get older, I think it's time, well, maybe I should start dating again, settle down. I did very well for myself. I had two kids that were in college. Life was good, but I was alone. And so I went on dating site because that's what most people do. They look at dating sites to try to find somebody, I guess. And when you go on these sites, they give you a couple of examples of women that are in your area to entice you, I guess, to get you to join the website. I went on the website, they showed me four that were local to my area. And one of them just stood out and struck me. And I had a feeling that I had never felt in a very, very long time. And I just said to myself, that is her, that is my wife. And I knew that we had a soul connection. I knew it was much deeper than anything on the surface. And so I emailed her and I told her this. And in a rather comical way, I introduced myself. Hi, my name is Ray, and you're my future wife. And you just don't know this yet and hopefully you'll answer my email and so we can get married and blah, blah, blah. We are still married. We did get married soon thereafter and we're still together today. And she no doubt is my soulmate. But here's what happens. When we first meet, things start to get strange again. And up until the point that I had met her, the energies that I had seen were just simply energy. In other words, they were lines or they were pressure or things were, you know, moving about the room, not big things moving like lines moving across the room. But when I meet her, it's the first time the energy takes form of a. What looks like a human being. And it's not. I know it's not because I'm not seeing this with my eyes. I'm seeing this with my third eye. And it's in my mind and it's like a movie screen opens up. And I can see on the movie screen that there's a man. And the man says to me, I effed up. I made a mistake. You can help her. I cannot. I don't know who the man is. I don't know why he's there. I've never seen anything like this before. And I don't know what he's talking about. Up first, I just shake it off. It's probably, I don't know, my imagination. I'm sober now, so I can't even blame it on that. I don't know what it is. But he comes back again and says the same thing. I effed up. I made a mistake. You can help her. I cannot. And I'm just seeing this thing. It's like an 8 second video loop and it's replaying in my mind over and over. And I am starting to think that I am insane because insanity is something I understand. I still do not believe in spirits or. Or anything else. And that's completely ridiculous to me in this moment. And I had always maybe thought that in the back of my mind, the things that I've seen, the things that have happened, I never looked at them in some sort of spiritual way. I looked at them as I was nuts. And now this is catching up with me and I have to make provisions for my children. So I had to make sure my will was in order and I had to make sure that I had a DNR because there was no way I was getting resuscitated again. I was going into the light, if there was one. And I made sure that my children were taken care of because I thought I was out of my mind. And now I have to tell this woman who I just met and just fell in love with. And I have to explain to her that I'm losing my mind. And if this story isn't crazy enough, well, let me add this to it. By trade, she is a doctor of psychology and a doctor of neuropsychology. That's what she does for a living. So I'm gonna tell a doctor of psychology that I completely fell in love with, that I see people that aren't. Aren't really there. And this isn't going to go over well, but I do think at least, you know, I'll get the help that I need. She'll point me in the right direction. She'll give me the name of a doctor, she'll write it down, and she'll say, just never call me again. And that's what I expected, but that's not what happened at all. She actually asked me about what I saw, how I saw it, and I explained it to her. I explained it to her in terms that I could try to best explain it to anybody. And I explained what the guy looked like. And I said, he was a husky guy, and he had a beard and a mustache and thick black hair. And he has this particular shirt on. The shirt was very significant. After I told her, I'm waiting for it to come, you know, that you need help. And instead she says, oh, my God, that sounds like my dad. And I said, your dad is dead. And now I think she's crazy because she's thinking I'm seeing dead people. So she goes on to explain, mediums have. She's been to mediums, and her dad comes through very powerful, similarly to the way I just explained him, front and center, very powerful. And I said, what the hell is a medium? I have no idea what this is, and I don't think I want to know what this is. So I'm more scared of that than I am the insanity. And she says, listen, relax. There's a medium, a very prominent one that's going to be in our area. I'll make two appointments, and we'll both go. And you can go in there, and you can tell her what you see and how you see it, and you guys can kind of talk about it, and you can get to the bottom of whatever it is. And I said, okay, let's do it. What have I got to lose? So we go, and I met with the medium. And the second I walked in, she says, how can I help you? And I said, well, I'm losing my mind, I believe. She kind of chuckled and said, have a seat. Tell me what's going on. And so I began to tell her that, you know, I feel these vibrations, and then I feel like there's a presence in the room. And then the movie screen in my mind opens up, and then I can see something on the movie screen. And she said, stop. And I said, what? She said, that's exactly the way I see it. And I said, you see dead people? She said, yes, I do. That's exactly the way we all see it. And I said, okay. And I felt in the moment like there was a big relief, but at the same time, there's now a new added pressure. What do I have? What do I do with it? How do I handle it? Because it's controlling me right now. And she said, well, what happened when you told your wife about the experience? And I said, it went away. And she said, that's right, because it was her dad and he wanted to deliver a message. And the second you delivered the message, he went away. That's all you had to do was deliver the message. And I said, oh, now I understand. And so she took me under her wing for the first year. She was my mentor for the first year of my mediumship. Thank God she did, because if I wasn't crazy, that would have made me crazy. And in fact, she shared something with me that when she was young, her parents thought she was crazy and they put her in an institution to deal with schizophrenia when in fact, she was a medium. So when I heard her story, it made me feel a little bit better about the circumstances, and I guess it somewhat normalized it for me. So what I really started to take away is that we don't fully lose all negative emotions. In other words, I still experience some anger, I still experience some sadness, but it dissipates quickly. And I started to see life in a different perspective, and I saw it in a positive way. And for me, coming from a place where I came from to that point was nothing short of magical. And today I wake up and my life is amazing. And what I've learned is that nothing is either good nor bad, but thinking makes it so. And that's Shakespeare's quote. And I think it's really remarkable because when you think about it, you can determine. Determine how you want to feel about things, most things. And again, there are tragedies and there are some horrific things that can happen that'll take time to work through. But for the most part, many of the things that we worry about and we have anxiety about, we really just don't need them and we can let them go. I firmly believe today that we are all one, and that we all come from one source and one creator. And you may call it the universe or God or whatever term you wish to use, it doesn't matter. This energetic entity we are all a part of. And to hurt your fellow man or woman is to harm yourself. And it's really, really important that more people understand this very, very quickly. Otherwise we're going to wind up with a world headed in a direction that we don't want it to head in. And believe me when I say we're all a part of that light that I was a part of on that one day. And one day we'll all return to it. And until that day, I wish you all well. Well, thank you very much for joining me today. We all fall in when the love's in our eyes Staring lost up at the skylight we all fall in when the love's in our eyes.