From Atheism to Awakening: Ray Catania's Near-Death Journey

Hi everyone and welcome to the Returned. You're not alone on this path and you were meant to be here.

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Hi everyone and welcome to the Returned. Today I'm honored to sit down with Ray Catania, a metaphysician with a master's degree in metaphysical science, an award winning author and an NDE survivor whose powerful journey took him from atheist to an awakened intuitive. After a profound near death experience, Ray began to uncover hidden gifts, diving deep into the intersection of science and spirituality through his books the Atheist and the Afterlife and you'd are still alive now act like it. Ray shares vulnerable truths and real tools for transformation. His story is raw, real and filled with insight. Ray, welcome to the Returned.

Mj, thank you so much for having me. It is such an honor to be here with you today. Thank you.

You're welcome. Before we get started, Ray, would you give us a sense of who you were before your life changing experience?

Sure, yeah. So before my NDE, I was 20 at the time that I had my ND. So in my younger years growing up, I came from a home that was kind of tumultuous for a child. There was a lot of drama, trauma, a lot of fighting and things of that nature. And I grew up in a religious household. It was Catholicism ruled the home. And I just found it very hard to believe that there would be a loving God who would allow these things to happen to a child. I couldn't accept that. So as I got a little older and I got to make my own decisions, I chose atheism. I went as far to the other side as I could go. And my first book is the Atheist and the Afterlife. And you're about to understand why. So I chose, I think, I think I chose atheism. Not necessarily like, because that was a definitive belief of mine, but maybe just to rebel, you know, because I was angry. I had a lot of anger towards, you know, my parents at that, at that time. So, you know, that's kind of where I came from in the home and that's the way I grew up. And the NDE was I was 20 and there was a fire in the home and it was on the first floor in the kitchen. And but what had happened was while I was sleeping, my bedroom was right above the kitchen. So if you could picture my bed really being on top of the stove and there was a gas leak from the stove all night long. We don't know how many hours it was running and running. So this was leaking. And then in the morning, my mother had gotten up, I Guess to make breakfast or whatever turns the stove on. Poof. There's this big ball of fire and flames. She gets away unharmed. The wall catches fire. There's some smoke, but it's not the fire and it's not the smoke. It's the gas that I was inhaling that was getting to me. So my father puts it out, the fire extinguisher. This is the way I understand the story relatively quickly. But they still call 91 1. And the fire trucks show up. I hear the sirens. I hear, you know, all the commotion downstairs. And so I try to get up, and this is when I notice that something's really wrong. Because when I try to move, I cannot move. Certain parts of my body, certain parts are just completely paralyzed. They won't answer me. Like, my legs, they felt like they were just big tree trunks that were a thousand pounds each. And I couldn't move my upper torso. It was getting hard to breathe at all. And my. My face, I couldn't yell. That was very, very scary. Like, I couldn't move my mouth, my arms worked, or my right arm more so than my left. And I was. So I went to the right side and I pulled the edge of the bed, and I would pull myself closer to the edge of the bed. No one's coming upstairs for me. I don't know why. I don't know what's happening, but I know that something's really wrong. And I have to get out of this bed or I'm not going to be here too much longer. It's getting harder to breathe, and I'm pulling myself and I pass out. And then I hear the commotion again, and I wake up and I shake myself and I pull myself a little closer. And then I pass out again. And, you know, like the third or fourth time, I'm like, if I don't get out of here, I'm dead. I just knew I was dead. So I pulled with everything I had and I tumbled out of the bed. And the way I came down was face first on the floor. My face, head first. And you know that moment when you get hit and there's like a shock moment because you know the pain is coming, right? And it just doesn't set in yet. And you're just waiting for it. Well, the thing about this was the pain never came. There was no pain at all. I didn't feel. I knew I hit the floor, but there was no pain. And that's because I'm not in that body anymore. I'm above it in the corner like imagine like a neutral corner. The room was a perfect square and my body's down on. I can picture it like it was yesterday. I mean, it was so vivid. I can tell you what I was wearing and what I look like. And it didn't scare me. It didn't scare me. Now I'm hovering over my body and over to the corner, but it's not scaring me. And because it feels like really good actually. And I don't know why, I don't know what's happening, but this feels really good. And then adjacent on the other corner, directly across is a huge cone shape tunnel white light. I just. I wish I had a better word for it than light because it's not light, as you probably know. It's this energy is. Comes with it. The most beautiful emotions that you could possibly feel. Painlessness, euphoria, love. Everything that you could ever want to feel is in this light. And I'm not separate from the light anymore. I notice I'm one with the light. And it's the most amazing feeling I've ever felt, ever. And so I go into the light a little bit, but I'm hesitant. And there's a being at the end who says, ray, it's okay to come into the light. I don't know who this is. There's some form of communication. I'm not going to say I heard it. I mean, I do say that sometimes, but I'm obviously, I don't have ears, so I know I didn't hear it, but I feel comfortable enough going in. So I begin to go. And the further I go in, the more the euphoria increases. So it's like, okay, this is getting even better, you know, if that's possible. And what happens as I get about, I don't know, maybe halfway or a quarter of the way to that corner of the room, my father comes into the bedroom and he kicks in the door and he scoops up my dead body. And he's distraught, he's screaming, he's crying, he's yelling for the paramedics. And you know, my father, you know, to give you an idea, like, I never really saw him cry maybe once or twice. And I certainly. He never hugged me. And so that I was watching him hug me, I'm like, wow. You know, he kind of maybe loves me. And that was like the first time. Like I really felt like he really cared, you know, like I kind of. I guess I don't know how to explain it, but we had a very strange relationship. But I Wanted that. I always wanted that. And when I saw it, I wanted to go back into my body. And so I asked if I could. Now, I'm not saying that's why I was allowed to come back. I don't know if that's the reason. But I did ask, and I did come back. And I was not in his arms anymore when I did. I was downstairs. I was on the living room floor. Paramedics are surrounding me, and they've got all their equipment and stuff, their tools, and they're talking back and forth like something really bad is happening. And I have no idea what they're talking about because I feel fantastic. And I'm like, guys, guys, I feel. I've never felt better in my life. I'm like, you know, the euphoria stays with you for a while, right? It's still there, so it carries over. So I'm like, you know, this is the best I've ever felt. And they're like, listen, kid, you know, just shut up. Don't move. And. And I was like, but did you see the light? Did you hear the voice? I mean, wasn't that crazy? And they're, like, looking at each other like, okay, we got one of those on our hands, and they start looking at the chief, and they're like, what should we do with this guy? And I just shut up because I knew that was not going to end well if I kept talking about it. So, you know, I just let them do their thing, Went to the hospital, came back home. I remember when the euphoria wore off, oh, my God, it was like a bomb went off inside my body. Everything hurt. Everything. Because when you're all energy and you don't have this. This body, this pain body, as Eckhart would call it, right? It's like there's. There's just no. There's no pain. There's nothing to hurt. And all your little physical ailments that you have, they all come back at the same time, and you. You really feel them. So that. That was. And my chest was killing chest compressions and the. The paddles and whatnot. So that was. That was really painful, too. And I. I don't remember that. But anyway, so I'm back, and I get back home, and I don't have anybody to talk to about what I just saw. So I try to tell my mother, who thinks I'm crazy, you know, anybody I try to tell thinks I'm crazy. So I just let it be. I don't. There's no Internet yet. We don't have computers. I'm showing my age. But there was nothing for me to go to. And I didn't know what an NDE was. I had no clue. I just knew this big monumental thing happened. And I don't know why. I don't know how to explain it. I'm 20 years old. I figure, okay, let me figure out how I can chalk this up to being just simple reality. Let me analyze it. So this is what I did. I figured while I fell in front of a window, when I went down and there was a. Maybe it was a sunny day and the sun was shining on me, and that's the white light, right? And the voice was. I was probably so high on gas fumes that I was hallucinating. And there you go. And I just chalked it up to that. And I. That helped me because, like, I could put it away and not deal with it because I had nobody to deal with it with, nowhere to go. So that I didn't deal with it for many, many years after that. But things started happening that I could not explain. I could see things, I could feel things, I could know things. I mean, it's just the whole world kind of opened up. It was a short time after that that I moved out of the house and I got my bachelor pad and I was like, yeah, this is going to be great. We're going to parties all the time right now. Never happened. Never happened. Because the second I moved in, this house was just haunted. I mean, it was like, there's energies over here and there's lines across in the room and the lights are flickering on, and it's a brand new building. Nothing works. It's a brand new building. Go figure. And I could feel, like, emotions. Like, in other words, if there was like, sadness coming from my left, what is that? Where does that come from? Like, I'm not sad. I'm moving in my apartment. I'm all psyched. And there's this emotion coming from here, and then there's happiness, and then there's all. And it was just so strange. And I could never sleep. They just would not let me sleep. So I keep calling the maintenance guy and tell him, you know, there's something wrong with this apartment. Nothing works. You got to fix everything. And I called him like maybe 30 times. And finally he comes up and he goes, kid, let me tell you something, okay? He goes, I'm going to be straight with you. There's nothing wrong with your apartment. There's something wrong with you. You're crazy. And There it is again. Everywhere I go. I'm crazy.

Wow.

So I start to believe it. I start to believe it. And I start to drink heavily and use drugs heavily because it was only way I could block it out. I moved into another apartment. I left that one after 10 months, and I moved into another one. And I was like, okay, fresh start. Here we go. Here's the party. Same thing. Same thing, different apartment. The apartments aren't haunted. They're coming with me. I could go out in the middle of the desert, they're coming. So whatever this is, it's coming with me or coming from me. That's what I think at the time. I'm crazy now. That just leads to more drugs, more alcohol, because I have to turn it off. I don't know how to turn it off. I don't know where to go. I don't know who to talk to. And I just have nowhere to go with it. And that's what I. That's what I do. So I wind up with a dependency and a serious problem. So. And I. And I lived that way for a long time, probably almost 10 years. And then I got married. And when I got married, I. We had two kids right away. I always wanted to have two boys and raise them differently than. Than the way I had it. I wanted to give them everything I didn't have. And we did. We had two boys. And then one day I looked in the mirror and I was like, well, I can't be drinking and doing what I'm doing and raise two kids that these guys are dependent upon me, you know, I have to get my shit together. Sorry, the language. But. So I check myself into rehab and I do get myself together. I go back to college, I get my degree, I get a great job. I move up the ladder. I make money. My marriage fell apart in very, very early on, but still had the kids, obviously, right? And I gave them everything possible. And, you know, I think I. I later learned that, you know, if spirit figures out that you can't see them or hear them or you don't know what's going on, eventually they're going to give up. You know, they may still come around a little bit from time to time, but eventually they're like, okay, this guy really can't help us. He doesn't know what he's doing. So it kind of leveled off and it became tolerable even when I was sober. But things actually know that.

That feeling. I actually know that exact feeling you're speaking of. I also would have things Happen everywhere. And I would be thinking that it was the places we lived in too. That is very strange that you're bringing this up. Sometimes I think you're people I'm meeting are like mirrors to me. It's very interesting. And I do remember it kind of.

Just wearing off because they're like, they give up. You know, he can't. He can't help us. Let's just go on, find somebody else. And they're just trying to get a message across. That's all they want to do. But if you can't help, there's no point in them, you know, harassing you. They're not there to harm or harass or bother. They just want to get their message across. But I don't know this yet at all. So I definitely raised my kids much different. And we were. Let's see, I worked really, really hard. I did well. Then I decided as they got a little bit older. Now I don't know if I did the right thing or didn't do the right thing, but I chose to wait until my kids were older to date again. And that's just the way I did it. I don't know, maybe it was me, maybe I was just scared to date again. I don't know. But it took me a long time to do it. So I was in maybe like my mid-40s, and I decided I'm going to settle down and I want to find somebody. And now we do have the Internet and that's where I go to sign up to one of those websites, right, and put. Fill out 14 pages of information about myself and put myself out there. But there's. Before that happens, you know, I was browsing all the sites and because I wanted to find the right one to join. And I don't even think there was a Tinder yet, but if there was, that wasn't what I was looking for. So I remember getting to this one particular site and. And there's what they do to get you to join is they'll show you photos of ladies in your area to try to entice you to take out your credit card and join. So I'll never forget, she was the third one down on the right. And I looked at her and I felt an instant knowing I knew her. She was my wife, and I knew that definitively. So I joined the site and I only sent one email to her. And I explained all of this to her like. Like, you're my wife, you just don't know it. Hi, my name's Ray. Let's have dinner. I'll explain the whole thing. And she says, lol, you're effing crazy. And I said, I know. Everybody tells me that that's not new. Let's, you know. But she had dinner and. And she was like, that's, you know, just crazy. That's hysterical. And we're. We are married to this day. We are here. And there's no question that that's my soulmate. And here's why. This. This is really how I knew. A couple of months into dating, the energies start coming back. And they're really powerful. They're like, really coming back. And I'm starting to panic and I'm starting to freak out a little bit now. I don't want to really tell her anything yet because I want this to go away. Everything's going to be fine. It's not going to be overpowering. It's going to be okay. And so eventually, I had never. Remember I everything I've seen or felt. I've never seen the movie screen that we talked about yet. I never saw energy in a human form yet. So I was about to see that, and I did for the first time. And I remember I was at work, it was a Friday, and the movie screen opens up, and on the screen is a man. And he's talking to me, and he says, I effed up. I made a mistake. You can help her. I cannot. And I'm looking around like, did anybody else see that? What the hell was that? And then he. And then a little while later, it comes back, the movie screen opens again, and there he is again. Same thing. I effed up, made a mistake. You can help her. I cannot. And it just replays and replays and replays. And I'm like, shaking my head, trying to get the cobwebs out. Like, what is going on here? So I had. I said I had a headache. I went home from work. It was a Friday. I figured I got until Monday to figure out whatever that thing just was all day Saturday. He's very consistent, persistent. He will not leave. He keeps telling me the same thing. And I pretty much just slept and told everybody I didn't feel well. The Sunday came and I had to, like, do some things, like run some errands and do things. And I remember I could not drive. I had difficulty driving. I had difficulty having a conversation with anyone. I just. I couldn't function. And I was at the store paying for my stuff. And the lady behind the counter goes, sir, are you okay? I don't know. What I did or said, but I said, no, I'm really not okay. Like, thinking that I'm hoping she's got the answer, I'm not okay. I'll tell anybody that right now. Because I'm broke. Broken. And I took my credit card and I went back to my car and I just broke down. And I was like, you know, just. This just proves that there's no one up there. There's nothing. There's just pain in this life. There's nothing but pain. I put my life together, I got sober, I did everything I was supposed to do, went back to college, got a great job, raised my kids, and now I'm officially crazy. And I have to tell this woman that I love with all my heart. I'm crazy. You need to move on and get somebody else who's not crazy. And if all that's not crazy enough for the story, she is a doctor of psychology and a doctor of neuropsychology. That's what she does for a living.

My goodness.

So I'm going to tell a psychologist, I see people that aren't there, and, you know, this is going to be great, right? So I'm, I, I, I get my courage and, and, and I tell her what I see, and I. The movie screen opens up. There's this guy, dark hair, beard, mustache, husky guy. And he says the same thing. I effed up, made a mistake. You can help her. I cannot. And she's like, wait, what? And I said, told her again, this. The movie screen was up. Blah, blah, blah, blah. I effed up. I made a mistake. And I see her, like, thinking, what I'm prepared for is her to say, call this doctor. Never call me again. Have a nice life. I'm out of here. But I see her thinking, and she's like, wait a minute. That sounds like my father, my dad. And I was like, babe, you told me your dad was dead. Now I'm thinking she's nuts, and I need to get out of there. You think I'm seeing dead people? Are you kidding me? You know, so I don't know what's going on. She says, relax. You might be a psychic medium and you just don't know it. Have you ever been to a meeting? I said, what the hell's a medium? I don't know what that is. And she's like, just take a breath. And I was like, okay, I will. I'll try. And she says, there is a medium. I just, I wanted to book a couple appointments with her. I'll book one for you and I, we'll go next week, we'll talk to the medium. You can tell her the things that you see and what happens and you guys can figure it out. And I said, well, that's great. What have I got to lose, right? So I do it and between the time as soon as I give her the message, the guy's gone, never comes back again. Which I later learned that's what you're supposed to do, just give the message and he's gone. That's all he had to say. And it was a big message too. It actually really saved somebody's life. And I put that story's in the book. And it's long, but it's really a good story. And so that's, that was the reason he was being so persistent. Like he was not going to not talk to his daughter just because he was dead. He was like, well, you, you want to date a medium? Okay, I'm coming in here you go. You know you're going to pay attention to me, son. You know, it's like the, the, the. The. My dead in law who's not letting me get away with anything still doesn't to this day, but that's.

Oh my goodness.

So where was I?

You were going to the medium together. Medium, yeah, yeah, the appointment together.

She says, are you going in first? Then I said, yeah, I'm going in first. I'm petrified. I want to get out of here. So I went in and I remember meeting with her and instantly there was just like a calmness in the room. And I said, hi, I'm Ray. And she goes, oh, you're that Ray? And I was like, yeah, maybe. She goes, have a seat, Ray, and tell me what's happening. And I said, well, sometimes I see people and they're not really there and they talk to me. She goes, me too, me too. And I was like, yeah, but I'm crazy. She goes, nah, probably not. And I said, what do you mean? And then I told her about the other, the premonitions and the NDE and the other stuff that was happening and everything. And she validated it all. And I'm in my late 40s and I just found one person and half my life is over, okay? And I met the person who understands me. This stuff has been happening my whole life. And here is a person who gets it. And it was opened, the door was open by my soulmate. Can't make.

Because she was the one.

She was the one.

She was the one. I understand that.

She took me on As a student for the first year, thank God she did. She taught me how to really control things so that it didn't get to me. And she taught me that if, you know, you. You delivered the message, he was gone, right? And I said, yeah, come to think of it, he was out of there. She goes, because that. That's all they want, is for you to deliver a message. But it can be overwhelming. And here's how you can turn it on, turn it off, et cetera, et cetera. So, you know, she really helped me out a lot in that first year.

Ray, if I go back up to the top there, where you were in your NDE area, or in the NDE part, where you were paralyzed in your bed, Now I just want to get a sense. So you felt paralyzed, but were you in your body or was it because you were out of your body?

So at that point, I believe I'm still in my body and I'm trying to get myself out of the bed. No one's coming upstairs for me because I guess I think the fire was so small and it was put out so quickly that my mother told me, she said, you know, my son's upstairs. And they were like, don't bother him. It's fine. But no one thought about the gas. No one remembered the gas. So gas rises. It's natural gas. It rises. I was breathing it in, so it was taking my life. And as it was taking my life, I was trying to escape the bed, and thank God I tumbled out and hit the floor, because if I didn't make that thump, I don't know that anybody ever would have came up.

Do you think that that's when you popped out of your body? Is that hit to the floor?

Yeah, that's why I was.

That's right.

The pain.

That's right. That's normally what I hear, right. Is that something hits them and you get out. I. I'd like to believe if that's true for everyone.

Yeah, I would, too.

Right?

Yeah. Like, my pain probably was just going to be like a punch in the face. But some people, you know, it could be much, much worse. Right. And it's nice to know every. Like you said, most of the people that I know now also say right before the pain I was taking, you were spared it. Yeah.

Yeah. And I'm gonna watch. And. Yeah, I've seen a lot that. Where people are watching, and it's. I couldn't imagine. I have never seen that. So that's interesting. But I'd like to get back to You. And so when you seen the light opening, opening up for you, was it. And it spoke to you, who do you think that was speaking to you?

So I later figured it out, or I think I figured it out. And it's a spirit guide, and he's been with me probably my entire life. This spirit guide in particular has saved my life more times than I could possibly tell you or count. So when I was young, because of the household I came from, I lived a reckless lifestyle. And I would put myself in very precarious situations where I should be dead. I worked for shady characters. I put myself in bad places. I was just very reckless in my 20s. And there's one particular time that I remember I was in a nightclub. I worked in the nightclub. So I knew the people that owned it. And they, you know, they. There were rumors that they didn't. Weren't in the nightclub business, so to speak, but they own nightclubs. Understand?

I get it.

And there was another group on the other side of the bar, and I'd never seen them before. I didn't know who they were. They're very strange. And, you know, we always, like, have our guard up. So it was the end of the night, and I came around the bar. Then we're closed, and it's after hours. And one of the guys says, can you get me Johnny? Johnny Walker on the rocks? And I look at my boss and I wait for the head nod, and he goes, okay. And I don't serve anybody until he got the head nod. And then I served him. And then he. I. I took Johnny Walker Red. I'll never forget what. How this went down. I took out Red. And he goes, no, you sob. I want the. Give me the good stuff. Give me the black. And I was like, thinking to myself, if he knew good stuff, it would be blue first. But I have to get the key. I have to get the key to open the lock, to get that out. It's not up there. So I. I get the head nod and I go down. And they. I'm fumbling with the key and I drop it. And then I'm trying to get the bottle out, and I hear, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. It's not. It sounds like fireworks. It's not fireworks. I know exactly what's going on.

Oh, my goodness.

I just don't know who's shooting who. I don't know if it's one shooter, more than one shooter. I don't know what's going on. But I'm down there and Nobody knows that I'm there. I think. And I don't know how I'm going to get out because I don't have a weapon. So I am petrified, frozen, don't know what to do. And here comes this being who comes to me and says, side door, side door, side door. And I'm just like, there is a side door. But in order to get to the side door, the shooter or shooters are going to see me. There's no avoiding it because it's at the end of the bar. I have to get up, run, and get out the side door. But I got nowhere else to go because the other way, there's just nothing there. So I took the advice and I went. And just because you get out that side door, you're not free because you have to go out the side door, make a left, make another left into another door, down a long corridor at like 40ft, and then there's another side door which takes you. It's a fire exit and it takes you to the parking lot. So now I make it. Obviously I get there and I get out. And here's a really crazy thing. That night I parked my car right outside that door. And I have always, in all the years that I worked there, I parked it on the other side of the building. But that night I parked it there and I had a choice. And I don't know why, but I put it right there and I got the hell out of there. And that is one of the more memorable times that he was there to save my life. But there, there are several and I don't know why, but I'm very grateful for him.

Do you think that you wrote your own or pre planned your life?

Gosh, I hope not.

I know. Yeah. Well, I. I always wonder if. If you pre. Plan and put these things in. In your path, like the nde, these little things that have kind of guided you or stayed with you along the way, almost sounds like it pushed you to go this way and then to get to the right place is what I mean. So basically, do you, do you believe in anything like that?

I. I'm really not sure. But what I can tell you is that spirit guide knew and because he was with me all the way back. I can remember when I was 10 years old and I. My parents took me to the beach and it was a bad undertow and I swam out too far and I couldn't get back to shore and there was a bunch of kids on the other side and it was just me on this side. And I'm waving to the lifeguard, but the lifeguard go. Goes to get the majority of the kids. Not the one. He can only. He can only go to one place. So he gets the 10 kids. Not. Not the one. No one sees me, and I'm, like, going under, and I start to panic. I'm a kid. That's not good. And I hear I'm here, for lack of a better word, because I just don't have a word. Calm down. Swim sideways. Take all the time you need. And again, I don't know what. It's always in threes. Calm down, swim sideways. Take all the time you need. And I can't calm down because I'm a kid. So that happens for me. It's just. And it's done. And I started to swim on an angle, which I later learned is exactly what you're supposed to do in an undertow. I did not know that. And I swam on an angle and I took a long time, and I was way down the beach from where I was supposed to be, and I made it to shore and I just collapsed. And then all these people came running over. It's him. It's. It's him. So he's been doing this for me forever. I mean, there's just situation after situation, and I'm so grateful.

So if you. So basically, you had your nde. Nothing changed, your life got a little bit worse, then you snapped out of it, and then you came to meet your wonderful wife and everything came back, but you were seeing spirits prior to that, and then you convinced yourself that you were crazy, right?

Yep.

Wow.

I was going to check, really. I made. I made sure that my will was done. Everything was. Was already done, but I've made sure that my brother had it and he knew what to do and blah, blah, blah. And he's like, is everything okay? And I was like, yeah, everything's fine. I just want to make sure you have it, because I was prepared for the end. I was really, really thinking, this is it. I'm schizophrenic. And. And I'm never going to get out of this place when I check myself in. But what I'm. What am I going to do?

So, really, Ray, your NDE was the start. That's when it started. Probably even before that. Right?

Catalyst. It was a huge catalyst.

Yes. And then your wife is a key. Isn't that beautiful? She is a key.

Yep.

That is really beautiful. That is very, very beautiful story. I really like that a lot. I really do. And so from There. You now found out you're a medium.

Yeah.

And what do you do next?

Exactly after that, what do you do next? Right. What do you do?

I'm waiting for some crazy thing to come popping out.

So I, like, I said I worked with the first medium that I met. I worked with her for a year. And it was the next birthday. My wife had said to me, what do you want to do for your birthday? And I said, well, I just. I think I just want to be around trees. I want to be in the middle of nowhere. I just want to, you know. And before that, like, that wouldn't have been my answer. And she's confused too. She's like, you don't want to maybe do Aruba or something? I'm like, no, I just want trees, a tent, an outhouse, I don't care. I need trees. And so we went into the country and we got a little cottage and we just stayed there and we meditated and we just hung out and. And she went into her bag and she took out a drawing. It was an illustration somebody had drawn. And I looked at it. She showed it to me, like, really excited. And I was like, that's your dad. And she's like, I know. That's what I was going to tell you. And I said, but, but you don't understand. That's exactly the way I see him. That shirt, the hair, everything is perfect. When he comes up on the screen, that's him. I said, who drew that? She goes, a medium.

Oh, wow.

And I was like, well, I gotta meet this guy. Who is he? And we searched him on the Internet and it said, now taking applications for a two year mentorship program with Medium Joe. The deadline to apply is February 15th. That is my birthday. She's like, you're gonna Pope in the woods. Yeah, definitely gonna apply. And I did it right there and I filled it out. But that's not really the application because then there's. They send you the real application and it's like this. And it's all essay questions. And what happens first? What happens second? What do you feel? What do you feel in your toes? What do you feel in your head? What's happening? How do you know the difference between this and this? Like, you had to prove you were legit, legit or you are not getting in. And I didn't think I got in. I did the app. I. Then I had the interview, and then I had another question follow up, and I heard nothing. It was like dead silence. And I was like, okay, maybe I'm not a medium. I went all the way back there, all the way back to. Maybe this is all in my head. Maybe. I don't know.

Oh my goodness.

Maybe I just. Maybe it's all coincidence. I hate that word.

Yeah.

Today. Anyway, so I call his assistant just to make sure that I didn't get in. And you know, obviously, you know, my ego's just working on me at this point. Like, you're not good enough. You can't do that. You're not good enough. And I called and she said, oh, no, no, no, no, no, don't, don't look into it because don't, don't worry yet. We had hundreds of applicants, applications. And I was like, oh. She goes, eventually, we're gonna make the final cuts. Just hang in there. And I was like, oh, wow. Okay, cool. So I still had a chance. So I hung up the phone and I felt good. And then I started doing the math. This program is thousands of dollars. Hundreds of people applied. So now I'm wondering what's going to happen. Right. Well, I get the phone call and he calls me directly and he says, you're in. And I was 11 out of 11 people that made the cut.

Oh my goodness.

He could have had all this money, right? He could have just said, yeah, you're all real. Come on in. And he took 11 out of hundreds. Not maybe not because they weren't real, but because they couldn't answer the questions to prove that they were. You know what I mean? I don't know. But the point is that integrity, like to have integrity like that, to pass up hundreds of thousands of dollars to just take 11 because that's all you can put say these, these 11 are legit.

I think that's really cool actually, that he. Yeah, I don't think that you should try to get rich off the backs.

No.

Of something like that personally. So I think that was really, really, really, really cool. And 11, you know, and on your birthday, right. Wow. Really?

I said, you're my daddy. I'm never leaving. I'm in like my 12th year of the program, you know, not really, but, you know, it's a two year program, but I'm in there for life. And I told him, I said, I'm never leaving. I'm. I'm the guy that sits in the back. I always come, I jump on the zoom. I'm still there, you know.

So what were you doing for work?

So I was actually doing really well for myself. I was, I had, I was the vice president of a company. We Were involved in real estate, and I was doing really well and had a great benefits package and everything. But I, I had to, I. Something was saying you have to do something else. You have to take this information and give it to people. And that's when I. I had written the book, but I wouldn't release it. I was too scared to release the first book. Petrified of what people would think if I did. So. So I walked away from my job. I just quit. I remember telling my boss, he was president company, I was vice president company. I said, listen, I. I'll give you two months notice, six months notice, whatever you need, but I just got to do something else, and this is what I need to do. And he's like, wow, I didn't see that coming. I said, I didn't see it coming either, man. I really didn't.

So you just had a knowing?

I just had a knowing.

And you followed the call?

Yeah. And boy, did I take a pay cut.

Oh, I. Oh, I can only imagine. I've heard this from a few different people. Like, all of a sudden, like, I was this in corporate America, and now all of a sudden I was like, literally nothing. I was like, broke again. But it was like what they were supposed to be doing. So again, I'm gonna go back. Back to asking you that same question, listening to your. Your story. You don't feel any of this was planned? It sounds so planned to me, but.

Right down to this, let's say it is right. But you asked me if I planned it, and that's the part that I don't know. But, yeah, I gotta start to think that it's a plan, but maybe it's his and not mine, you know, I don't know.

But it's a plan maybe for you to carry out, because now look what you're doing for humanity.

Yeah, I'm really excited about what I do now. I love coaching other people and helping them, and I've written two books and there's more stuff on the way. And I've dedicated the rest of my life to helping other people who have gone through this or who are looking to have their own spiritual awakening or abolishing their own ego that controls their life or manifest the things that they want in their life. And the reward is, like, so much greater because, you know, I remember the first time I ever spoke on a stage and I talked about my book, and I was really scared, but I did it. And I got off the stage and people were lined up with a book to hug me and they would tell me I changed their life and signed the book. And I was like, this is what I have to do. This is what I have to do. And she made me publish the book. My wife, by the way, she was like, I don't. She's like, you don't realize how many people this can help. And I said, but all my dirty laundry's in that book, babe. I said. She goes, shut up. Hit publish. And I. And I did it. I was too scared.

Do you think that that's what you were here for, was to get to that space as well? That book needed to go out for humanity.

Yeah. And. And there's more to come. There's more to come. And I can't wait to. It opens up for me just as much as everybody else. Yeah.

I think that's every time you speak, you are helping others awaken. Yeah. So that's the way I feel as well.

I. I can relate to that. I have been there. I thought I was crazy, too. The validation that there really is more to this life and it doesn't just end so they know their loved ones are someplace that. That there's so much healing we can do, and. And people like us, we need to do it.

What did it feel like to be up in the corner of a room, watching? I should have asked that earlier.

It didn't scare me. That was the really strange part. Like, you would think that would freak you out, and it was not at all like. I felt very calm and relaxed, and it was beautiful. It was just beautiful because the light's on me, and I'm a part of it. It. Like I don't have a body anymore. So I'm just in this light. I'm one with it, and it feels fantastic. The last thing I ever really wanted to do is go back. But I. I saw my father, and I was like, you know, I. I wanted him to hug me, and I went back. He never did anyway. And then I wanted to do over, and I wanted to go back to the light. Nothing ever changed, really.

Hey.

Yeah.

I'm sorry that. Yeah, I know what that's like, too. So I grew up very similar in a very similar lifestyle. And I won't even put this in our conversation, but I had a very similar lifestyle when I was a young girl. Yeah, it was very difficult. And it seems that I find that a lot of us that actually lately that I have been meeting, they have had difficult upbringings. And it's like it's starting to form a pattern for me. I'm Starting to see a pattern in all these different people. But it's almost like all this. It's not all the same, but there's a pattern. And it's like. I don't know, it's like we're the ones that aren't the ones that can be. You know, we're real.

Trauma is the common denominator. Yeah.

What do you think that all of this that's happened your whole life, from having a spirit guide, from being younger, all the little things that happen, your NDEs, because that's quite a few NDEs, even though maybe you didn't see the light, they're still NDEs, right. And then having the one with the fire, how do you think it shaped you on a soul level?

Oh, my gosh. Totally shaped everything. I mean, it brought me to where I am today. And I am so different, you know, the guy that I used to be. You wouldn't want me on your show. I wouldn't want me on my. On your. On my show. You know, it just. I'm a completely different human being. And that is all because of these events and everything that has taken me from, you know, that point, you know, coming from the repetitive trauma in childhood over and over and over and coming out of that, like, not don't care if I live or die, and just, you know, I never really planned anything. I was just like, whatever happens, happens. This is the way we're gonna go. Okay, Instant gratification. Let's go that way. And that was it. And. And then after the nde, I upped the ante. I would, like, try to push the envelope closer. How close can I get to death? Like, what can I do? So, Because I had no fear of it, because I think in the back of my mind, I knew what I saw. I knew even though everybody else told me I was crazy and I had a box it up and put it away because that's the way I had to deal with it. I think in my mind, I knew that if you die, it's okay. It's not that bad. It felt pretty good, actually. It felt better than being here. And you know what? I don't want to romanticize it, because we get accused of that sometimes. And you know what? Like, I would never, ever. Anybody who's thinking of, you know, harming themselves or anything, get help. You have plenty of time to go see that light. There is no rush. And you have a purpose right here that you gotta fulfill before you get there. So do not even think that way.

Ray. What would you Say to someone that was actually afraid of dying or even if they have a loved one dying, what kind of advice would you be?

Would you give them, usually telling them my story and stories that usually gives them that feeling of relief. If they're coming to me, they must believe it to some degree, otherwise they really wouldn't, you know, seek me out in the first place. And then when I'm able to explain it and I, I try to explain things in simple, even scientific terms if I can, I try to just keep it, you know, not to be, not to sound like it's woo woo, you know, it's just very matter of fact. It just, it is this way, you know, it's, it's not, I don't know, it's not, it's not, it's, it's magical, but not. You know what I mean? I, I just, I think that our mind, which is created by the brain, the brain is the organ that creates the mind, but the mind is your consciousness and it controls your brain, your body and everything around you, right? And I think consciousness is, can be, you can exchange, you can call it a spirit, you can, you can call it soul, you can call it anything. It's consciousness. And that when you die, that's what moves on. And, and, and I couldn't accept this. I had to look into it scientifically and I learned the first law of thermodynamics, which clearly says that all energy cannot die. It cannot cease to exist. It must roll into something else. No new energy can come into the universe. No energy can leave the universe. So it just has to change. So if my energy, that is my consciousness, dies, it has to go someplace. That's a fact. That's a fact in physics. And so a lot of times I'll explain that. So we go somewhere. We have to. According to the laws of physics, we must go somewhere. The body's gone, but the mind has to go as to where. Then that's up to you. You. But you know, that's, that's. I could tell you what I think. I have a hunch. And this is on a physical level. I don't mean like heaven, hell or anything.

I'd love to hear that. Sure.

Okay, so we have this energy that is our mind, spirit or soul, and we have a type of energy that permeates 69% of the universe. And we don't know where it came from. And we call it dark. Dark energy. Not dark because it's evil, dark because we can't see it, but we know it's. There. Einstein proved it was there. Or actually it was Hubble that proved it, but Einstein's theory, and it expands the universe because if we didn't have dark energy pushing the universe out and expanding it, we would contract. And eventually we go into a little point in a little ball and just blow up. So something is pushing the universe out and it's that dark energy that we can't see. So I. Because I know that the afterlife is right here, right now. Like, it's right here. It's not some far away place. So why wouldn't it be? The energy that's around all of us every single day, it's between you and me. It's between you and Pluto. It's between me and Jupiter. It's everywhere. And it just kind of made sense to me. So that's my theory, for what it's worth.

Do you think that it's like just a dimension that the us right now as humans cannot see?

Yeah. And then some of us can see.

Yeah, some of us can. Right? And then some of us. When a person dies, it sounds like. You mean like it would just be like them going through a door?

Kind of. John Lennon said it really good. Really? Well, he said it's like getting out of one car door and getting into another car.

Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, interesting.

Something like that. I'm paraphrasing, but yeah. And. And I think there's different levels also. Like, perhaps there's more dimensions or levels or realms or whatever you want to call them. And they may all be in that 69 of energy that we can't touch, see, feel, taste, or anything else. But I think like there's like a. When you first die, you kind of go to the next level and then perhaps. I can't explain it. I can't. I don't think anyone really knows all of it, but.

No one knows.

Yeah, no one knows.

How about your mediumship? Are you still working in that?

No. Here's what happened after I came to terms with it and I started to understand it and I. And I learned it as I was going through learning it. And this happened to a lot of people. Well, I won't say a lot of people. A few of us, you would see people dropping out and coming back in. And that was the emotional toll that it took. Because to do this, that work is really kind of taxing on the body and the mind rather, you know, emotionally. It hurts. And. And I've heard some people say it doesn't bother me at all. And God bless. You know, if that's the case, so be it. You're not and anybody that does the work, I commend you for doing it. But for me, the first half of my life was kind of miserable and I don't. I have to take on the emotion of the deceased and move that through me. And I, I just didn't want to feel those emotions anymore. Anymore. I, I wanted to kind of enjoy my awakening and, and that sounds fair. If I, if I go back to it, maybe I, I will go back to it. I'm not trying to be selfish. If that's my calling, I'll do it. But absolutely, I want to enjoy a couple of years before I, I do that again. And I know and, and I respect medium so much because it's hard work. That much I can tell you. It's hard work.

I can only imagine. I can only imagine. I have gotten some snippets, I believe, of mediumship and yeah, especially at nighttime when I'm trying to sleep. So I feel that there's a lot of times I see people. I actually once seen a boy with a backpack and a white van and that. So now I seen that and I seen the van driving crazily and that stressed me out. So then what it ended up doing was I woke like I wasn't, I didn't up falling asleep. I, I end up going on the Internet now searching for a missing boy, like with a blue backpack and a white van. You know, all this time I couldn't find anything. So it was, it was very stressful. Like that one time was very stressful. So I can only imagine what it would be like to have that all the time.

Yeah, it's.

So what is it that you're doing now?

So right now I coach other people and I teach how to, how to learn to deal with abilities, if you have abilities. I also help people experience a full on awakening of consciousness if that's what they're looking for. It takes a long time, but it's definitely doable. Actually, I shouldn't say that for some people it's quicker than others. And I also teach people how to manifest just about anything that you want. Coming out with a full program on manifestation and creation. I'm really looking forward to that. That should be out the next six months and a new book that'll go along with that too. And that's in the near future. And then there's other things down the road that I'm not supposed to talk about, but.

Well, you don't have to do that. We can say that for another time. I'll keep an eye on you.

Okay, thank you.

Do you believe that in our life right now? Do you believe that humanity is evolving spiritually?

Oh, God, I hope so. You know, everybody says that.

Oh, God, I hope so.

Sure. Right.

It's so needed, I think, in a.

Way, yes, because there's so many more people there, like this podcast like you have and others bringing the information to the masses. That's so great. And there seems to be a bigger interest. And, you know, I think that's really, really important because, you know, we were certainly headed in a direction that wasn't. Didn't look well. Right. I mean, to just. The wars alone are just, you know, unbelievable. So we really need to get people to realize that hurting your fellow man or woman is hurting yourself. Because we are all one. One consciousness, the universal collective consciousness we're all a part of. And so if you hurt me or I hurt you, we're just hurting the whole collective. We're hurting all of us. And. And that's not the way this was meant to go. And we can't evolve as a society until we come back together. Like, who. If somebody thinks something different, who cares? Like, I. I love your beliefs. Let's hug. Maybe I don't believe them, but who cares? Like, it doesn't matter.

Doesn't matter.

We can have different beliefs and all get along, and that's what we need to do.

You help people see their own power. Do you have one story that sticks with you where someone was truly transformed?

Oh, great question.

Sorry. Hot seat.

Yeah, well, I have to be there. There is some confidentiality, so I have to be a little bit careful about that.

And no names, please.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can tell you a very quick story about someone who was. Wanted to manifest a few things and came to me because they had seen it. And she. Her goals were she wanted to get a book deal and get a hundred thousand dollars and she wanted to do it in 90 days. So we started working together and we. I started going through each of the principles and with. She did it so week to week. I saw her and the first week went by and you know, I said, so, you know, how was your week? And we just started chit chatting and she's like, you're not going to believe this. You know, I was doing the meditation and everything, like you showed me. And I got invited to this luncheon and I really didn't want to go, but my girlfriend was like, we have to go. We have to go. We have to go. And. And right there, sitting next to me was a woman from Hay House who can't wait to read my book. She goes, we just started talking about it. And I was like, I do believe it, because I see it. And the following week, I was like, so, how was your week? And she goes, nothing happened this week. And I was like, oh, well, you know, that's usually takes a while. You know, you got something in a week that most people, you know, takes at least a few months. And she's like, we're wrapping up the conversation. And she says, remember that money I told you I invested? And I said, yeah. She goes, my financial advisor, I gotta call him back because he said he was bragging about how much money he made me this quarter. And I. I was like, how much do you make you? And she said, $111,000. And I said, number two. She goes, oh, yeah. Like, it didn't hit. You know what I mean? Like, she didn't see it. That. I guess she was seeing the money coming in a different way, but it came that way, and it was right there in two weeks. That's excellent that. You know, she was very experienced at meditation. I. I have to give her that. She was definitely. She took to it really, really well. But, yeah, that's an amazing story.

Do you think that everybody can. Do you think that everybody can create abundance for themselves? I'm not just talking about for money. I'm talking about abundance in all areas of life.

Anything that it is that you're looking for, you can. You can have it. Absolutely. Totally.

How do you personally stay grounded and aligned, you know, to keep up with your day or your purpose from day to day?

I don't know if I am grounded.

That's good.

If you ask my wife, she'll definitely tell you. I'm not. You know, I've noticed a big difficulty with, like, remembering things because I'm always distracted by. I've never been so distracted before, you know, but, you know, between the downloads and this coming and that coming, you know, it's kind of. But it's great. I love it. Like, I. I welcome it. You know what I mean? Like, it's so exciting. I was reading my second book the other day, and I'm reading and I was like, who wrote that? That is fantastic. I didn't write that. You know, like, that was channeled. That. That was. That. That's too great to be me.

Oh, come on now.

Well, you know, do you channel as well? I think. I think it Happens naturally in a creative state, when you're just typing or you're painting or you're doing something creative, you're just getting these downloads as you do it. And, you know, sometimes you look at it later and you're like, wow. You know, it happens in music, it happens in athletics. It happens in just about any. Any creative activity or anything where you're solely focused, focused on one thing. You are channeling, you will channel.

See, that's what I feel happens to me when I'm doing art, because I'm so. I'm meditating on the one thing and I'm creating right at the same time. And I do. I hear more, I feel more. And then I'm also just like, you looking at, like, wow, you know, did I just do that right? Yeah, I understand exactly what you mean. I'm sure that there's a lot of people that are like that. Do you think that everybody carries these types of gifts from birth?

Yeah, absolutely. You just have to. We. We deviate from them for whatever reason. Either life gets in the way or what have you, but we can get back to them and we can learn how to use them. Again. The flow state, which is what you and I are talking about right now, where we're really connected with the universal collective, and we're not listening to our subconscious and our ego, which is talking, but we're just not hearing it. And that's because we're on the right side of the brain, the creative side, and that's fully connected to a better source, your awareness. Your awareness, like your higher self. And you know, that is where you want to get your information from, because when you get it from source, that's the purest, best information that you could possibly get. So that's another thing I teach people, is how to get their information from them there and not take it from this data bank of yesterday. Because you're going to do the same thing that you did and wonder why you didn't get a different result. But if you look to your awareness, each time, just pause, take a pause and ask. Go this way instead of going down, you'll get a different result.

Rory, will you tell us a little bit about each of your books?

Sure. The first book is the Atheist than the Afterlife, and it. It's the beginning. So it takes you from my childhood to my big awakening, meeting my soulmate. And all of that is in the first one. And then the second one after I started to learn techniques and things that I could use in my life, like manifestation, for example. I put them into the second book and I wanted to help other people, you know, get advance their own spirituality and their own, you know, state of being. And so I. A lot of that book, there are stories in that book too and there's my, my life stories, but not to the extent. It's more about. Here's what you can do and take this and, and use it and let me know how it goes because I really want to hear. I love the stories when they say you're not going to believe it and I'm like, yes, I am.

And where are they? Can they be reached on a website and on say, Amazon?

Yeah, yeah. 52 countries, any bookstore. Or my website, which is Ray Catania.com and there's a contact page too if you want.

And all the links will be in the description below. What's next for you?

What's next is going to be the third book and the. The. The new course about manifestation and creation. So what we think about, we bring about. The Buddha taught us that in 500 BC and it's so true. And I'm going to make something really, really great that anybody can follow.

Wow. Do you have anything else that you would like to say to our audience today?

If you're watching out there, I really, really appreciate, appreciate you. I am grateful for you. Thankful and I wish you all the abundance and everything that you want in life and just have a wonderful life. And if you're having experiences, you're not crazy, go with them. Thank you. Thank you so much.

You're welcome. Ray. I'd like to thank you for sharing your incredible journey today from doubt awakening and turning your pain into purpose. Your story is powerful reminder that transformation is always possible no matter where we begin and those who are watching. If something stirred within you today, trust it. You're not alone on this path and you were meant to be here. Until next time, stay open, stay curious and keep returning. Thank you.