From Guns, Gangs, and Prison to Peace, Purpose, and Parenting with Isaac Ortiz

Hello everybody, welcome back to the Parent Whisperer podcast. I'm Richard Ramos, your host. Today I have a special guest that I want to introduce you to, but before I introduce him to you, I also want to talk a little bit about— you've heard me mention that Parents on a Mission is impacting the lives of incarcerated parents. I've had some people talk about that in recent or past podcast interviews that I've done, but this has been one of the highlights of my career of being able to see the impact that Parents on a Mission has had with people that have been incarcerated And a lot of people don't understand or even know that 68 to 70% of people that are incarcerated are parents. And so when they get out, you know, normally organizations that try to help them, they're thinking about they need a job, obviously, and then they need a place to live. But they don't often always think about their kids. And the fact that they're parents and maybe they haven't seen their kids or they haven't had contact with them, or maybe they have but they haven't been able to be together physically, you know, either they're talking to them maybe in a visitation room or maybe over a video or maybe over a phone, or maybe they're writing letters back and forth, you know, sometimes that happens. So everybody has kind of a different experience. But when I was given the opportunity In, in the jail in Laredo, in Bakersfield, California. I was given an opportunity there to train staff from the organization Garden Pathways that you've heard me mention before, and their staff was able to go into the jail and teach the curriculum to some of the inmates that are there. Now, this has been happening for years now, several years. And then I had the opportunity to do the same thing in Colorado. And I trained 200-300, about 200 to 300 staff members of all the different prisons in Colorado. And at one time, Parents on a Mission was in every prison in Colorado. It was being taught. And so I want to show you just a little, a little clip on some of that, just, um, the experience That we had. And take a look at this. Right now in the United States, there are around 2.2 million people incarcerated. 70% of them are parents.

Yes, I'm a single mom. I have I have 3 children. One of my children I gave up for adoption when I was 17, and then I have 2 daughters who are 5 and 6. I've felt like giving up a lot of times. I'm battling for my kids right now.

I made a lot of mistakes as a father to my kids. I want my son to be a good man, so I gotta, I gotta figure out I had to wait to break the cycle. They can't see you and they can't free you when you remain—

Hi, I'm Richard Ramos. I'm the author and founder of Parents on a Mission, and I've been working with families and youth for over 30 years trying to help parents prevent their children from going down the wrong road. Our mission is to turn the hearts of parents to their children and the hearts of children back to their parents as the best method for preventing children from joining negative lifestyles.

My kids grew up in a visiting room, trying to parent them from prison. And again, getting to the point like what Jeske said is where before when they were younger, I love you, Daddy, miss you. And now to where the anger is coming out of, you haven't been there.

Um, my name is Stephanie Harwood. Ms. Harwood, since the moment she stepped grounds on this facility, has had a very angry heart and a very resentful attitude towards anyone and everyone. It didn't matter who you were. I was 15. A family friend beat and raped me really bad. That's when I started to really hate myself, thinking something was wrong with me. I wasn't a good mom. I've taken probably 3 parenting classes, and I've been in prison for 5 years. This class actually taught me how to be a mom, not how to raise a child, but to actually be a mom. And that's something that I needed. And for somebody like Miss Ayala to actually care enough about us and to help and fight us. To be a part of her seeing her son for the first 5 years was probably the most phenomenal thing in my life because I can't even imagine what it would feel like to see your kid.

When they bring something like Parents on a Mission to a place like this, it gives people avenues to be able to understand their kids and understand how families are supposed to be ran and gives them some type of structure, you know, to go back to their families and share their structure with their families. A lot of us never really had structure.

All right. All right. So that's just a little clip of a documentary that I did. You can watch the full documentary if you want to on my website at richardrramos.com. It's there. But now I want to introduce you to A young man that I recently met through the Parents on a Mission program. His name is Isaac Ortiz. He is a devoted husband and proud father of 5 children, 3 daughters and 2 sons. Drawing from his own experiences with incarceration, reentry, and gang involvement, Isaac now serves as a mentoring specialist supporting adults who are working to rebuild their lives and make positive changes. Isaac has experienced approximately 10 years in and out of incarceration, incarceration, and he has transformed those challenges into a passion for helping others. He is currently a senior at California State University, Bakersfield, majoring in psychology and plans to graduate in spring of 2027. He received the 2023 Hidden Gold Award from Heart of the country annual fundraising event held by Garden Pathways, where 2 mentees are recognized for their transformation. Isaac, congratulations and welcome to the program.

Thank you, Richard. It's a pleasure. It's been a blessing and it's been a journey.

Yeah, so tell us a little bit about, about your background there that I, I read. I'm sure when you saw that video you could relate to that.

Yeah, it kind of took me back watching that video to, um, I was— I took parents on a mission in the Laredo accident when the farm was still being operated. But prior to that, I remember just going in and out of the— being in and out of the system to the point where I was coming from an abusive, like, you know, just abusive background. Or growing up as a kid, my dad was real abusive, always beating me. Any chance he got, he was hitting me. He was a semi-pro musician, so when his music career started taking off, we got the butt end of that stick. If a deal didn't go right, we were getting beat. He came home drunk, we were getting beat. Came home high, we were getting beat. And it got into the point where on one Christmas Eve, he was— he had came home drunk and had beat me and my brother for 2 hours where the cops were called. And I remember that Christmas Eve, a day where We were expecting to open up gifts. We were like, we're getting saved by the cops. And, you know, and at the time of that incident, my mom was also incarcerated. So at that moment, I was, I was happy because I was like, yes, I could go with my mom or my grandma. So when they call my grandma, they're like, hey, well, I'm in Vegas, I can't come get them. And they're like, where, where are your mom— where's your mom at? And we're like, well, she's in Laredo, we can't see her, but my grandma could come back for us, I promise. So, but despite our cries, they're like, no, we're just going to take you into custody and you guys are going to go through the foster system. You guys will be at Jameson Center. So me and my brother both went into the system on Christmas Eve and we stood in foster care until about June of 2009.

And how old were you at the time?

At the time I was, I was 11. I was 11, and by the time I got out of foster care, I was like about 14, roughly about 14, 15. And that's when my mom had sobered up to get me back out of it. And of course, you know, I was thinking everything was gonna be good. I'm like, okay, I'm back with my mom, I'm happy. But little did I know, that's when all the gangs and all the violence would be introduced to me, right? Because there's an incident where my mom was beat nearly to death in front of me, to the point where I couldn't— I felt so defenseless and useless, like I couldn't defend her to the point where I was like, okay, well, I got cousins from the neighborhood, so I'm gonna go talk to them, see what we could do. And that led to another thing. And keep in mind, the whole time I'm going through this process, I'm like, man, Mom, why do you do this? Like, why are all these people at our house? You just got me out of foster care, Mom. Why are you selling drugs? And every answer I got was, hey, well, that's how you got your clothes on your back, right? That's how you got the shoes you want, right? That's how you got your bike, right? And everything I'm doing, I'm fighting against it. But Mom, I don't like this. I don't like fighting. I don't want to do nothing. I don't want nothing to do with this lifestyle. So it's always being met with that. Eventually, you know how it says you become what you hang out with, right?

Right.

And, um, I remember just shortly after that, I was like, hey man, um, well, my life's not getting any easier. I need backup, so I'm just going to join the neighborhood. So I joined the neighborhood. From there, my mom started showing me how to sell drugs, and then she finally eventually got to the point where she started buying me guns and The whole everything else started piling up on top of it. So, right, before I knew it, by the time I was a senior in high school, I was a full-blown gang member, calling shots, selling drugs. The teachers are telling me, Isaac, you're gonna be a family man. No, you got better life. And I'm just like, man, bro, you don't know my life outside of this. No, but look, Isaac, you got something better. You're gonna have 5 kids, you're gonna have a wife.

So, so while you were, uh, doing the drugs and selling drugs and in the gang and gangbanging, you were still going to school?

Yes, that— I found school to be my, my secret way out because I had a teacher named Mr. Tennis. And it's funny because he comes later in the picture too, but I remember every time I walked in his class for homeroom, there he is, that's my family guy, this. And I'm like, man, bro, only if you knew I have a gun in my car right now. Like, I have a gun at home waiting for me. And you know, as soon as I'm done with school, I'm gonna go back to what I'm doing. But he always spoke that over me. He's like, man, Isaac, that's my family man right there. He's gonna have 5 kids. And sure enough, I have 5 kids.

Wow, so that's amazing. Go ahead, go ahead.

So I was like, man. So later on, as soon as my senior year came, I really never completed high school, ended up just dropping out because I thought selling drugs was bringing in enough money to make a living. And this led into my first case to where I call it the domino effect because at first my mom's house got raided and probably And they found a— I want to say they found maybe— they found— I can't remember if it was meth or heroin. They found something in the house to the point where they took one of the guys in custody. So a week later, not thinking nothing about it, they end up raiding my house where they found 3 guns and some meth and a weed garden I had going at the time, or marijuana garden. And then I remember my mom bailed me out and she goes, hey, that's just part of the game. Let's go keep going. And I'm like, Mom, like, I just go to jail. What do you mean? Well, at this time we end up having— we had these problems with these people down the street. So I remember on my mom's birthday, I'm just telling my mom, like, Mom, I'm like, I'm kind of cool. I want to stay out of everything. I want to stay away from everything. But son, that's the game. Like, you don't know. And these problems just escalated on our birthday. Um, So the evening of her birthday, this escalated to a point where I ended up getting in a fight and guns got drawn. And next thing you know, sheriffs pulled up and there's this, you know, they're like, hey, we saw a shooting and who did it? And I was like, they end up pinning me, having me, my mom, and my brother in handcuffs. And they're like, hey, they're saying you guys shot at them. Who shot at them? And my mom's like, well, I'm not going to jail. It's my birthday. And that's like— that betrayal honestly hurt. I'm like, oh, Mom, what the heck? You know, like, you're telling us this is the lifestyle and now— but then at the end of the day too, though, I felt like it was my responsibility to take the blame for it, and because I was the one that actually did it.

Yeah.

So I went to jail and everything happened, and the cops were like, hey, Isaac, we respect your honesty. Not many people are going to tell a cop that they pulled the trigger on somebody in front of— in front of us. And I was like, yeah, so what, how much time you think I'm looking at? And they're like, well, you're going to prison for sure, but how long, we don't know. We can't tell you, we're not a judge. But thank God, I only— I got blessed and I only got 5 years. And they're signing for, um, I ended up signing for the gun charges on that case. But I remember during that—

To be clear, in this gun, you didn't, you didn't kill somebody, you shot at somebody.

Yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah, so, and so thank God nobody was really hurt. Nobody was just— it was just a chaotic scene that sounds more drastic than it really was. But during that term, I remember this guy invited me to a Bible study and he goes, Isaac, you're not, you're not what these streets say you are. You have a heart. You're not what these streets tell you. You have a heart. All those things spoken over you. And I just remember just breaking down in tears. And so I went up, I just broke down in tears. I'm like, hey, that's something I needed to hear in the midst of all this. So as that progressed, I remember going forward to the main line, and now I'm closer to my update. And I remember this brother, um, he was from LA. He walks up to me and goes, Brother Isaac. And I knew this was from God because I was like, hey, why is he calling me by Isaac? You know, he's not calling me by my street name. He's like, Brother Isaac, I'm gonna tell you If you don't take your Bible, you're gonna be right back. So my release date comes. Guess what I did? I looked at my Bible. Ah, I'm good. I don't need it. You know, and so I left it. And sure enough, I go back to my mom's, and now my mom's doing things even bigger. Wow! Little do I know. Little do I know my mom has gang unit watching her now. She has all these different agencies spying on her, watching her. And me, me being on parole, I kept telling my mom, hey Mom, is it safe to go to your house? You know, I'm talking to this— I'm talking to someone, they want to meet at your house. Is it okay if I meet there? And my mom said, yeah, you're good, you're good, everything's put away, I don't have nothing out, Mom, this and that. So 30 days later, they raid the house and they end up turning up heroin, meth, and a gun. And gang unit's now, hey, You have priors, Isaac, so we're gonna get you for all this. And this is what— at the conference when I told you when I took parents on a mission I was mad at my mom was because of this case.

Okay, yeah.

But I remember when that case happened, I was just like, man, God, like, this is gonna be my life now. Like, this sucks. Like, I was really trying to go to the beach. Like, I really was planning to go to the beach. This— I was finally getting with somebody else gonna get me away from everything. And just like that, everything was stripped from me. So I remember just sitting there and my mom bailed out, her boyfriend bailed out, and I'm like, so I'm calling my brother like, hey, how come I'm not bailed out? They're like, oh hey, they said you're on no bail. I'm like, why? They say because they got you for violation. So there I was going through court dates, my mom and her boyfriend were out of custody while I'm in shackles, and I'm like, this sucks. It was like, it was an embarrassing moment, but At the end of the day, I thank God for that moment because that was one of my biggest blessings. Because it was that term, that's when I finally ran in. I ended up signing for, uh, it was a 6-year split. But I remember when I did that, I was like, man, I don't want to go to prison. I want to stay in county. So they're like, do 2 years in, you do 2 years out. But the 2 years turned into 4 years. I don't know how that worked. But all I know is when I, all I know is when I was done, they're like, hey, You have a six-year sentence. I said, "You need to stay clean." So I was like, "Okay." But I remember that time I I was on the I landed in the farm and they're like, "Hey, you should take pom class." I'm like, "What's pom class?" Like, "Yeah, pom P O M." I'm like, "What's that? That gives you a kick." So this is all I know about pom is that gives you a kick. And I keep in mind, I was like, "Okay." And they're like, "It's parents on a mission." But I'm like, well, I don't have kids right now. So they don't need kids. They do just have to be young enough to take it. So if you fall in a gap, you're 18 to 24. Okay, so finally, you know, I did about 7 months in that term, and then they called me up. Hey Ortiz, you're interested in our prom class? They're starting a cohort in the— I want to say it was like February 2017, 2018. I'm like, yeah, sign me up. And so the first day I get there, me and my best friend Tanner, rest in peace, Alino, we're like, hey, like, we're just gonna finish this class and get out, man. All right, cool, that's the deal. We're gonna finish this class and get out.

And how long were the Parents on a Mission classes? How long were they at the time?

At the time, I believe it was a 6-week class.

6 weeks, okay.

That was a 6-week class. And it's funny because that's when I met my Current coordinator prior. Well, he was my mentor once I got out, but he was now he's my coordinator. Cool. And then Diane Barrentos was also teaching a class with Daniel, with Daniel Lopez. So they're like, "Hey man," you know one thing always stood out in the first class was like, "Hey, you don't know who's looking up to you. You don't know if it's a niece or nephew because the whole time I was watching, I was taking this class. I didn't know I had two little my stepdaughter." Or my actual daughters. I didn't know that they were actually looking up to me at this time of life. I didn't even know they remembered me. But they're like, yeah, Dad, my Dad, I want my Dad. So I'm taking this whole class not knowing I have 2 girls looking up to me. And I saw— that was like, that was a unique experience to figure out just recently.

Wow. Yeah.

But I remember just going through the class and they're like, hey man, okay, we're gonna take— we're gonna pick you up. And this cake was because it was really like we get a cake once we completed the class. And I'm like, man, I still got 3 months after this class. I don't think they're gonna come pick me up. They're like, yeah, we're gonna pick you up. So sure enough, we get picked up and go home. And they're like, what are you taking a class? And the mission statement, turn your heart so you're parent. That kind of resonated with me because as mad as I was when I got my mom when I took that class. It really taught me like, okay, if I want my family changed, I have to turn my heart to my mom.

Right, right.

And, and it was hard at the time because I remember during that time my mom was even worse in her addiction when I got out.

Yeah, let me, let me just clarify for people that are listening and watching, uh, that don't know, uh, the Parents on a Mission. Our mission statement is to turn the hearts of parents to their children and the hearts of children to their parents as the best Method for preventing children from joining negative lifestyles. So what Isaac is talking about is the part where it says turning your heart, the hearts of children towards their parents, which is really about forgiveness. So go ahead, Isaac.

Yeah, so it's just forgiving my mom. It was a challenge on that situation because I looked at my mom like, man, Mom, I took a case for you guys and you just got worse in your addiction. Like, I don't even have a phone. I literally lost everything. I lost my ex-partner at the time. Nobody wanted to hang out with me because they said everywhere I'm going, their houses are getting hit. And I was just like, man, like, what's going on here? And I remember at that time, that's when I started tattooing my face because I really thought that was gonna be my life. But during that time, I remember Dad, he made a statement. He goes, Isaac, if you don't decide to come back, we're always going to be open for you. So when you're ready, just come back. We'll help you change. Of course, that time I didn't come back. I was so caught up with my mom's addiction, the lifestyle of everything going on. And I thought it was— I honestly thought it was okay because now we're introduced to the smoke shop scene. Now we have all these different smoke shops, we got fast money, so we're like, hey, who needs a job? Little did I know I needed a job. And thank God it— but I, I think it was— and then the reason why I brought up the smoke shop scene was because Oh, Tanner, my best friend I took that class with. I remember Tanner Blankenship, one day, um, we were working the smoke shops and ended up doing the job I was doing, watching the door. And I remember right before he passed away, he had went to my mom's house and he goes, hey, tell Isaac I said I love him. And I'm like, I'm like, what the heck? Like, why is he saying that? And my mom's like, yeah, that's weird. He never calls you by your name. And then, you know, a day later we get the news that he was killed. He was killed in a stabbing. Wow. Yeah. And I remember back to our POM classes, he— I remember when Tanner was sharing, he goes, yeah, bro, it's true, all our kids are different, they have different personalities.

He's—

I started laughing. I'm like, that's true, huh? You get around a lot of kids, they do have different personalities. And I'm like, well, how do you get— how do you get along with your daughters? Because he had daughters. How do you get along when you don't disagree? And he goes, he goes, man, I'm not gonna lie, I wrote a letter. It really worked. And so when he passed away, the first thing that came to mind was, dang, Parents on a Mission, I need to get back to Garden Pathways. And then get back to Garden Pathways, and sure enough, today it was that same month, 2 of my other friends died in the same day. One was killed.

Wow.

Killed, shot and killed at, um, as he exited an apartment. And one was left in orchards, and then he ended up becoming a cold case. And I remember after that, I just grabbed my son and I started And now, you know, at the time now I finally had my own son. I was back with my wife and kids, and I remember just getting back with my wife, honestly. And then, and when I finally got back with my wife, like, I was just like, man, I'm done. I want to change. Because now she was— well, this is backing up a little bit— she was pregnant. And she goes, yeah, now you got a son coming, but now you got these daughters that looked up to you. Okay, you know, and sure enough, you know, I went one last term and this last term really did it for me. And I was like, you know what, man, if they have POM, I'm gonna jump on it. Unfortunately, they didn't have it this last time because I went to prison. But I remember when I finally got out, I was just like, you know what, man, I'm ready to change. And I came back to Garden Pathways and that's when I started.

Yeah, and that's, yeah, that, you know, Your story just reminds me of so many people that we've we've had who experienced parents on a mission either while they were incarcerated or after they got out, and they're just totally transformed their life. And because of that, it transformed the life of their children and the family. And so that's what. know, what you're describing. And now when you went back to Garden Pathways, did you go back to take the classes again or did you go back to get hired there?

When I first joined Garden Pathways, honestly, it was through our West Tech class. So I remember I told my probation officer, I'm like, hey, I want to change. I'm done. I got my wife. I got my kids. Not my son. And this is, this was my last term. I really didn't go into details about it, but it was, I caught one more term after Tanner passed away. And I remember at that moment, I was just, life was just hitting me. And I was just like, man. And I'm looking at my wife because now she's back in the picture. And she goes, Isaac, I knew you since before all this. I knew you in high school. I knew you. I knew the good you. So when I went to Garden Pathways, honestly, I didn't expect to go as far as I did.

Wow.

And I remember I just went, I'm like, okay. And I had to get to a point in my life, I was like, you know what, my way is not working. Help me, Dan. I need help. He goes, you're in the right spot, my man. And from there, everything took off.

I got work.

I was able to renew my— I was able to actually get married and renew my vows while seeking services regarding Pathways. And then after that, you know, I think it was towards the end of my mentorship program. That's when I finally was like, hey, Dan, like, I want to become a mentor. But then that conversation of Pom came up again. He goes, hey, man, like, were you in this class? And it's funny because he gave me an actual picture of me in the class and with Diane on the sides.

Yeah, yeah.

And I remember that picture and I was like, man, how'd you got this? How do you have this picture, man? I've been looking for pictures everywhere. And then that picture, I'm next to my best friend Tanner. And it's funny because he goes, it's weird because I always kept this picture for some odd reason, but I never keep my pictures from there.

This is a picture of you guys incarcerated. Yeah, and Tanner, your partner, but he ended up passing away. So you, you could— so for everybody out there, listen to what Isaac is saying. Basically, 3 things really helped him change his life. One, was his being introduced to— well, first of all, getting tired of all the stuff that was going on with him and his mom and just the lifestyle, getting tired of that. And then secondly, getting introduced to the classes of Parents on a Mission in the Laredo jail. And then third, having faith in God, where somebody from LA, another inmate, shared with him about faith. To introducing him to having a relationship with the Lord. And then finally, his— just his motivation and love for his wife and his children. And so now here, Isaac, look at you now. So talk a little bit about what are you doing now at Garden Pathways? Who do you work with and what do you do?

So today I'm a mentoring specialist for the adult reentry program side of our organization. I much help anybody that's on county supervision. They are released from county jail such as Laredo, or I like to say it, the people that get in enough trouble to go to CDCR, mini prison, but not enough trouble to come out, come home on parole. So they're released to post— they're released from prison on post-release. So I help a lot of them get back on their feet and just kind of get back on their families because honestly I tell people, man, I could only mentor from 8 to 5. The support system is really at home. And for parents, like, I like how you say that statement, it doesn't take a village to raise children, it takes better parenting.

Right.

And it's true because on my caseload, I can name a good 10 of my clients right now that took a lot of the stuff from Parents on a Mission that I incorporated in my mentoring. And it made them a lot better parents to the point where they're calling me like, hey, I finally had dinner with my son. I finally got to see my kids again. I finally got custody of my kids again. Hey, my kid forgave me. And, you know, and I kind of share off my own experience with my oldest daughters. Like, my oldest daughters, they, they knew me enough to see the old me, but they also got to see the ugly me, the ugly side of things. So I tell them, right?

Right.

And I remember when you shared the story about when you wrote your son a letter, like, man, I wasn't the best dad. I was pretty harsh on punishments and this and that. And I, and I really took that one home. And I honestly did it when we did the training with you at our daycare site.

Right. Yeah. And I, that's where I remember you from. Isaac was part of what I do. I do a 3-day certification training. And what that is, is organizations, whether they're prisons or jails or nonprofits or school districts, or, uh, churches, they send their staff members to the 3-day certification training. And then once they complete the training, they're certified to now teach Parents on a Mission to whoever they're working with. So Isaac has completed that training. Uh, now, have you had a chance, Isaac, to actually teach the classes, or you're just using a lot of the things you learned to help mentor the people that you're— are on your client list?

I honestly had the honor to be able to teach it twice, and then I stepped in a few other times.

In the jail or in the community?

In the community.

In the community. Okay.

Yeah, and it was a blessing because I gotta share— I gotta use a lot of my lived experience with my own daughter. How— because it was, you know, my oldest daughter, like, we had a broken relationship. Yeah. When I first got back with my wife, because my, my daughter's like, man, Dad, like, you You talk to me like you're talking to your homies. You're talking to me like you're politicking. I'm your daughter. Wake up, Isaac. Wake up. And I kind of scratched my head like, you call me Isaac? Yes, right? I'm your daughter. And stop talking to me like you're politicking. I'm not your gangster.

She told that? She told you that?

Yeah.

How old was she when she said that?

She was 9. She was 9 at the time.

9 years old. Imagine that. See, this happens. As you know, we talk about this in Parents on a Mission. I mean, if we're not maturing You know, we stay in that mentality of that we're not maturing. We're growing older, but we're not growing up. We're not getting mature. And a lot of parents make the mistake of they think that the older they get, the more mature they get, and that's not true. So here you have is a 9-year-old girl, little girl, your daughter telling you, Dad, wake up, don't talk to me that way.

That cracks me up. And it's funny because it started with her. Next, you know, my wife chimed in, and my second oldest daughter came in. And it's funny because I go and I finally got to a point where I wasn't sad with the older girls, and I'm like, you know what, I need to write him a letter because I want— and I always told him like, so when I wrote the letter, like, hey, like, I'm sorry, you know, I wasn't the best dad. I'm only as old as my son I have with your mom. I'm only— my son's 6 now, so I told him I'm only 7 years old. I'm a year old older than my son when it comes to parenting because when I finally settled down, I had my family. It was around the time my son was born, right? But that doesn't mean I never looked at you guys as— you always are not my children because I have you guys. I got you guys' names tattooed for a reason. And then that moment sparked something big to the point where my daughter looked at me crying. She said, I forgive you, Dad. I want— I'm happy you're my dad. Oh. So I remember at that moment, and they're like, damn. And so I noticed at those moments, the little moments that took, I kind of started realizing like, okay, all my kids are different. My oldest is clingy. My second oldest is quiet. My boy, he's into all these anime stuff. My little son's a goofball. My baby's a ball of joy, laughter.

And yeah, no, that's, that's wonderful.

And I remember when, uh, you shared the, the card you had from your daughter, from your kids.

Yes.

And you're like— and I was like, man, how do I get that? And sure enough, I remember after I wrote that letter I got my card from on Father's Day. Yeah. And I had a paragraph from every single kid, and I was like, except for my baby, she can't write yet. But of course, I had a whole card full of scribbles, which it's good enough.

That's enough, man. That's how it works, you know, because our kids, they really appreciate the simple thing of just writing a note or a letter, you know, expressing our heart, and then they follow suit, you know. And my kids still do that. To this, to this day, they, when they give me a card, they don't just give it to me with the printed part of it. They write in it their own thoughts and their own, and I do the same thing. So it's an ongoing thing, but it's a great tool for parents to, you know, sometimes we can't express it verbally. We can express, you know, how we feel, you know, by writing it down. Now let me ask you, um, so as a mentoring specialist, you're working directly with men, just men, right? Not women?

Uh, both men and women.

Men and women. Now they're coming out of incarceration. Now are they appointed to you? How do you, how do you get in touch with them?

They're usually referred out to us in a number of ways. Some, some of the clients come in asking for services and then their probation officer will send us a referral. Or, or in some cases they'll hear, hey, I heard about Garden Pathways, I heard a lot of good things about that. And then there's now more recently, because I know they, they just went into the facility again to teaching Parents on a Mission, we've been getting a lot of clients that are taking Parents on a Mission in custody. I believe right now on my caseload I have maybe about 4 or 5 clients that took Parents on a Mission that are on my caseload right now.

Cool.

And all of them are doing good. They're like, man, Parents on a Mission made me want to come get services from you guys. And I'm like— and I finally explained, I'm like, wait, well, Parents on a Mission, it's another class, but it's— we're taught to train it.

Yeah.

And they— and they're like, no way. So I kind of give, you know, like, what do you learn from it? What do you take from it? And I— and I kind of leverage how my relationship with my kids and my family were Into how we are today, like how we're actively in the church, how we're all actively on the worship team, how we all serve together, right? And I also tell them too, you know, like one thing that helped me a lot with my kids was when you're sharing the thought processes. Have you ever, you know, I was telling them, hey, do you ever stop to ask your kid what do they think, what do they feel? Humbling ourselves to our kids, because that was a big one for me. Because me personally, as a, as a person that was a shot caller, was like, hey, You do my things my way, or else, you know. And my daughter's like, nah, Dad, like, we're— no, we're a family now. And it's funny because those moments happen. And then, but then I think back when as parents on a mission, I'm like, oh yeah, you have to humble yourself to your kids, especially if you want your kids to listen to you. Because if they don't have a voice, they're not going to tell you nothing.

Yeah. And I think a lot of dads have trouble, and moms too, you know, Humbling ourselves, being humble with our children. But you know what we're teaching them there is such an important lesson in life. I mean, to be have humility with other people, and that when you're showing humility, you know it's not weakness; it's it's strength to be able to be humble, especially with children. That's a that takes a lot of strength and a lot of emotional maturity. And when parents do that, we're demonstrating to them. a way to act with other people, their siblings, or, you know, their whoever, in other, in other relationships. Um, now, uh, in your bio here, it says that you are a senior at the California State University in Bakersfield majoring in psychology. So talk about that a little bit. What motivated that?

Honestly, because It was really being in church because I remember after I got out of prison this last term and I came to Guardian Pathways, things were looking different and things were starting to happen. And God, I feel like God was showing me like where I really belonged. And he showed me my gift of pointing to others. And he started realizing how compassionate my heart was. So I remember my last meeting with Dan, I had asked Dan, I'm like, hey Dan, I want to be a mentor. And then he goes, we're like, well, you do have a gift of pointing and talking. You know, you, you could talk natural. And then he introduced me to the program at Cal State that helps incarcerated students get into higher education. And keep in mind, my goal was just to get a drug and alcohol certificate. And but when I went, God's like, no, you're gonna get a degree. So I'm sitting there with Tiffany James. She's now at Cal State. Sacramento, the director. And I was talking to her and she says, no, Isaac, we do 4-year degrees. We don't do certificate programs. So me and my— not like I prayed on the spot. Hey God, where do you want me to go? I don't know nothing about psychology. I don't know sociology means. It's scientific. And I felt like that tug, like psychology. And I remember just signing in. I remember just, okay, y'all. I'll do psychology. So I signed up, did my schedule, met with my advisor, and sure enough, I remember I shared the news with Dan. And this is where my work came into play because I shared my news with Dan on, hey Dan, I got accepted. He goes, hey my man, can you come in for a one-on-one? I go, I want to share something with you. And at this time I'm thinking it's a job offer, you know, you know, I'm like, oh, they're gonna offer me a job. I'm telling my wife And they go and he goes, hey, my man, um, we want to shoot a video of your story transformation. I'm like, yeah. He goes, yeah, we're going to show it to a probation panel. The mayor wants to see it. She wants to meet you. You're going to have dinner with the mayor on this night. Okay. I'm thinking nothing of it. I'm like, okay, cool. Yeah, I'll do the video. So on our, on our Garden Pathways website, on the testimonials, they have a video of me recorded sharing my story. And it's funny because my first day at Cal State, we meet and they're recording me. They're walking around in my oil field clothes because I was in oil fields before my transfer, before I got into the recovery field. And I remember just doing the video, and then sure enough, I remember, uh, he calls me back. He goes, hey man, for this dinner, who can you bring? I'm like, well, I want to bring my grandma for one because she's always prayed for me to change. I want to see her. I want her to see this. The video, and my mom, her boyfriend or fiancé now, and my wife. And at the time, my wife was pregnant with my daughter, who's now three. And I was just like, okay, man. Sure enough, that's when um we get the tickets. Hey, meet at the Crystal Palace, and that's a fancy place. We get there; it's like a whole ball. I'm like, whoa! This is new. All these high-ranking members in the community, like congressmen, like Shannon Grove was there talking to me. Mayor, uh, Mayor goes there, a few other people just in the community, like high-ranking leaders. I'm like, man, like, this is something new. And they're like, yeah, Isaac, we're gonna need you by the stage. And this is when I get my award, you know. Remember I got my award?

Yeah, yeah, let me read it again. The, uh, 2023 Hidden Gold Award from Heart of the Country, correct? Yes, part of the country annual fundraising event. Yeah, you were given that award, man. So that's huge, brother.

Yeah, and it was priceless because I remember when I, when I got it, my wife cried. She goes, this is why I stood with you all these years. I seen this in you all along. And then my grandma, she was so smiling so big, and she ended up making a comment. She goes, hey, I could go home safely now. I'm like, okay, what do you mean? Like, you know, like we're having fun. She goes, yeah, I gotta go home safely. I know you're gonna be good. The next, the following year, they called me back to give the award to another, another awardee. Yeah, but that was the last. My grandma ended up passing around that time, so she got to see me give out the second award and she ended up passing. Yeah, and I just think back to the moments when like I was running amok and I told her about the class and she goes, man, she says, mijo, like stick to those organizations, those programs, because I remember I watched the news praying I never see you dead. In jail, you know, dead or looking at long time in jail or busted for something stupid you're doing. I just pray that you change. And by the time she passed away, I was already at 2023, hitting Golden Wardie, a Cal State student. And I think at the time when she passed away, I was a peer recovery coach for another organization in mental health.

Wow, wow, wow, man. I tell you, that's a powerful story and testimony. of your life and the lives of what people can have if they want to change. And I want to shout out to Dan Lopez. You know, Dan, I've known Dan a long time. He's been doing this with Garden Pathways and one of the first people to teach Parents on a Mission in Laredo. So, you know, I really, really love him. He's great. But listen, Isaac, I want to thank you for sharing your story and sharing your time with us. Uh, it's, it's powerful, and I wish you, your, your children, and, and your family all, all the best. All of us are proud of you, brother, and, uh, you just keep it going. So listen, everybody, thank you for your time. Thank you for listening, or if you're watching the video on YouTube, uh, this is the Parent Whisperer Podcast. I'm Richard Ramos, the host. And don't forget, uh, there are many resources, free resources, if you or a parent or a stepparent, you can go to my website richardrramos.com. And also, if you wanted to take Parents on a Mission, the classes— if there's not a— the class— the Parents on a Mission classes in your city, you can go to my website and for only $97 you can take the whole course by yourself or with other people that you want to invite to come and watch the videos with you. And I say only $97 because this is 15 videos. They're not very long, maybe 15 minutes, but other online courses like this charge a lot more. I, I— you don't have to believe me, but I, I'm just telling you, I've been in this business a long time, and for $97, that's like a about a $200 discount, uh, compared to what other programs that you would pay. So, but I put that there because not everybody has the opportunity to attend a class because Parents on a Mission— I'm trying, but it's not everywhere. But I'm trying to get it everywhere. But you can watch the videos, learn everything that Isaac talked about, learn everything we teach. In those— on those videos, uh, 15 videos. Or if you like to read, my book is on the website as well. So again, thank you for watching. Please, if you have time to write a review, that, that really helps me reach more people and grow my YouTube channel. Uh, subscribe and also share the video with any friends and family that you know That listening to Isaac's testimony would be an encouragement to them. And the last thing I leave you with, as always, remember, Mom and Dad, Parents on a Mission is not for bad parents. It's for good parents who want to get better. Thanks for listening. See you next time.