The Parenting Habits That Raise Successful Entrepreneurs | Margot Machol Bisnow

Hola, everybody, it's Richard R Ramos and welcome back to the Parent Whisperer podcast. I'm really pleased today to introduce somebody that I've just met myself because, uh, her, uh, PR person reached out to me, but it's because of what she's doing who she's reaching. And all of you know, Parents on a Mission, we're all about parent leadership. It's all, it's all about us and looking at ourselves, growing ourselves, being the best version of ourselves. And what my guest today is— what she's doing, and I wanted to talk about her book, but what she's doing, I just think it's fantastic. So I want to introduce Margo McCall Bisnow. I think I got it. Yeah, welcome to the show, Margo.

Thanks, I'm excited to chat with you.

Well, please, um, tell us about you and your, your background, but ultimately to, uh, what led you in this idea, uh, introduce your book Entrepreneurship, but introduce that, but what led you to write this book?

Yeah, so thank you. So here's the book. Um, it's the second edition, so make sure you get this one because it has all the pictures. Um, so it's a lot, a lot of fun. Um, so what I did in my previous career has nothing to do with this, but 17 years ago my older son started an organization called Summit, or Summit Series, that was conferences of that is Conferences of Young Entrepreneurs. And I had never met people like this before. And I was just so curious how they turned out the way they did, so willing to work so hard to, you know, make their idea come to fruition and take on so much risk and work so single-mindedly. And I asked them, I just kept asking them. And they all basically told me the same thing. They all said I had someone who believed in me, someone who told me I could do anything I put my mind to, and that they knew that I'd be successful eventually, even if there were bumps in the road. Usually it was a family member, not always. Much of the time it was their mom, not always, but it was always someone along the way who believed in them. And I was so struck by this, and I just kept talking about it. And the kids said, uh, you have to write a book. And I said, I'm not going to write a book. And they said, no, no, you have to write a book. And I said, I'm not going to write a book. And they said, you have to write a book. I said, okay, I'll write a book. So that's great.

That's great. Mom here, mom to the rescue again.

So I, um, in fact, the kids wrote the foreword and they said, everyone needs someone to believe in them, and sometimes that's even your kids. And Honestly, when I started, I was kind of ambivalent. Um, and I just started trying to— I picked a hugely diverse group, half men, half women, every race, every religion, every socioeconomic background, born in the US, born with— from immigrant parents, born overseas, small towns, big cities, small families, big families, single moms, divorced families, blended families, like Everything you could think of, parents who graduated from, you know, who were doctors and lawyers, parents who hadn't been to college. I mean, just all over the map. And it actually blew my mind, Richard, that they were basically all raised the same. Wow. And, and I was just like, I mean, I still, I get chills even saying that. Yeah. That set me on a mission. And I was just, wow, like, You know, there's so many unhappy kids in the world and too many, too many. And, you know, these people from all these different backgrounds all raise their kids with the same basic, you know, policies. And so, by the way, so did we, much to my surprise. I had no idea what I was doing when we were raising our kids. But, you know, it turned out just like these other parents that we had Done the same thing.

It's, it's amazing. I mean, I've, yeah, I've been working with families and parents for a long time, um, and it is true, you know, there's so many, regardless of race or ethnicity or like you said, social class status, whatever, there are so many principles that are just kind of the same, um, no matter where I've been, you know, other countries, you know, around the country, this country, And it's true. And by you, you named my whole audience, all the different blended families, single parents, divorced parents. I mean, you know, but when you have children, you know, that's where we try in Parents on a Mission to really help mom and dad. Busy, we're busy, we're working, people, you know, things in the world is changing and, you know, on and on and on. But the priority of children— well, what I wanted to ask you, well, first of all, how— what's been the reception of parents, um, versus that mindset of, oh, my kids need to get a job, or my kids need to go to college, uh, versus this mindset of How about being an entrepreneur?

So I, I just given a talk about this at a summit event, and a dad came up to me afterwards. He said, you know, can I talk to you? And I said, of course. And he said, I'm just distraught. My son just announced that he's dropping out of college and moving home to work on this stupid little widget project that he started in school. And I think it's the most horrible decision in the world. And I'm so upset. We haven't spoken in 3 weeks. Oh, I called over this guy who's a friend of my son's and who I know has made like a gazillion dollars and didn't graduate from college. And I said, Let me ask you a question. You have a choice of two people to hire. One person stayed in college, graduated, wasn't particularly motivated by any subject, was sort of a middling student, B's, B-minus, whatever, but he graduated. The other dropped out of college after a couple years. Tried to start a widget company, worked on it for a couple of years, then decided that this wasn't quite the right company and he wanted to go to a, you know, a more established company and try to get some experience. Which one would you hire? And without blinking, he said, oh, I'd hire the second one. And so would the other 300 entrepreneurs in this room.

That's right.

And the dad was just like, wow, okay. And He called me like a week later and said, thank you, you know, I've restored my relationship with my son.

Yeah. Oh, you know, that's, that's, that's a great story. And just the whole, you know, it's sad when whatever the reason is that we have a broken relationship or, you know, some kind of falling out. But that, as we always teach, that's not the unusual thing. That, that's just true, probably in every family at some point. The issue is, what are you going to do about it? That's the issue. And, and in your case, in this story, it was nice that it was because the dad realized that he didn't have to be all upset and flat frustrated and, and causing him to not talk to his son when he heard from somebody else that it could be okay. And that brought him back together.

Right. I mean, I think that parents mean well. Every parent wants a successful child. Of course. And it's just they think that to be successful, you have to follow the path that worked when they were growing up. And they don't understand that it's a different world out there.

That's right.

And the kids don't have to follow that path.

That's right.

Yes, if you want to be a doctor or a lawyer or an investment banker, yes, you have to graduate from college and you have to be a good student. But if you want to be an entrepreneur, nobody gives a hoot.

That's right, that's right. Well, in my case, uh, I have 5 children.

Wow.

And my oldest son is, uh, he's a very successful a high school football coach. They've won 5 out of the last 7 state championships. My other daughter— I have 2 boys and 3 girls. One of my daughters has been working in the legal field. She's not a lawyer, but she's been working for judges and lawyers for many, very successful, climbed the ladder. My other daughter, youngest daughter, she just recently negotiated her way to a 6-figure salary. And my other son, he just graduated a couple of weeks ago with his master's degree. But my one daughter who did not go to college— all those, those four, those four went to college, all of them went to college and graduated from university. But my one daughter who did not go, she makes more money than all of them, and she owns two business— she's half owner of two businesses, uh, and she's, she's doing fantastic. And of course It hasn't been easy, you know, as, as you know, being an entrepreneur. I mean, she— and right now she's working really hard. I don't know how many hours a week because she's in the food business and in that type of industry, but she's doing great. And, and that is the message that you have, that parents need to hear, that, you know, we— yeah, it used to be go to school, graduate, go to college, graduate, and then you get out. And your job, you're not even using the degree that you got. Right.

Right. No, absolutely. And, you know, I just think it's hard for parents to kind of adjust their thinking. And also, Richard, you kind of bring up a really good point, which is that you cannot raise a child to become an entrepreneur any more than you can raise them to become a doctor or an orchestra conductor.

That's right.

Can you have to let them make their choice. And as you said, not a lot of people want to be entrepreneurs because you have to work around the clock like your daughter does, and you have to take on a lot of risk like your daughter does.

Right.

And it's not—

and a lot of debt.

And it's not a life choice that every single person wants to make.

That's right.

All you can do is create the conditions in your home so that your child is entrepreneurial in the way they think. And whether they become an entrepreneur or not, that way of thinking will help them in whatever they want to do. But it's important. I mean, you can't, you know, send an uninterested child to entrepreneur camp for 6 weeks and think, oh, this is going to make them an entrepreneur. You know, I've helped out at these organizations where they try to have kids do entrepreneurial stuff in high school and stuff, and the parents are helping the kids do half the stuff. And it's like, yeah, no, no, that's—

no, it's not education. And I think we know it's been that way for a long time and it continues to be. But it's really, to me, it's kind of getting worse. And I think that, you know, more parents are even doing homeschooling because they're very disappointed with the public education system and, you know, etc. But, um, I had a chance— those of you here who are listening, um, Margo has a great 3-minute video on her website, or I'm— I think the link is on your website, but I'll put it in the show notes so you guys can check it out because, um This 3-minute video is an animation of what her book is all about, and I just think it would be something that you might want to, uh, watch, and maybe it'll speak to you where you might be. As Margo already mentioned, maybe you have a son or a daughter and they're not into school. They hate what they're learning. They're not excited. They're not passionate. And Margo, talk about how important that is for parents to help steer their children to find that passion.

Well, I have— so the video was done with the first edition of the book, which was called 10 Rules to Raising an Entrepreneur. And but anyhow, but this one still has 10 rules, and one of them is don't worry about straight A's. Mm-hmm. And I give examples of all these. So some of these entrepreneurs were great students, breezed through Ivy League schools, and some of them weren't. And I just have so many examples in here of people who were never great students. Part of it is because Entrepreneurs think differently from a lot of people who are straight-A students, which is one reason I don't think colleges should just look at grades and SAT scores because these are people who've learned to tell the teacher what the teacher wants to hear. That's correct. That's not what entrepreneurs end up doing. And so I have so many examples like Benny Blanco, who's one of the top songwriters in the country. He's got like 25 number one hits. He just married Selena Gomez. And his mom told me that when he was in kindergarten, she'd get a call from his teacher every week saying, Benny won't sit in the reading circle. And she said, so? And he felt like all his teachers found him really annoying. And then she found him— he loved music— and she found him a music teacher outside of school who said he was the most talented kid he'd ever worked with. And that meant more to Benny than the fact that all his teachers thought he was annoying. And, you know, I mean, it's just— I don't know what to say. You know, it's not—

well, school's not for everybody. It's not because of the way it's structured. It just doesn't work for everybody. Like you said, some straight-A students have a very linear mind or, you know, left-brained, I guess it is, then maybe that kind of structure works for them. But if you're right-brained, more creative, you know, those kinds of structures, they're boring. And some of the kids that I've seen over the years too, they're bored, but they're intelligent, they're smart in what they're good at, what they're passionate about. And there's no room for them, in, in the public education structure because it has to be, you know, a certain way. And unfortunately, um, it doesn't work for everybody. But I think the message is for me, and what I want parents to hear you saying, that it's okay for, you know, if your kids— obviously by law they got to go to school, but if they're not real excited, if they're not getting the best grades. It doesn't mean that they don't have talent and intelligence in different ways, and we just need to help them find it, I guess, outside of school or some other club or something where they can then begin to express themselves. And then the thing about college, you know, I know a lot of parents don't want to hear that, you know, they want to— they want their kids to go to college, go to university. And I'm— I always kind of bite my lip because I just, I don't— I mean, I guess there's value in it, you know, I went to college and all of that, but what I'm doing today has very little to do with what I went to college for.

Right. And, um, do you remember the scandal a few years ago when these parents were paying people to take their kids' tests and pretend Yeah. And, you know, I remember all the articles at the time were like, oh, you know, these rich kids, they have all these advantages, you know. And all I could think of was these poor kids, what their parents were saying to them was, if this school knew the real you, they wouldn't want you. And if you don't go to this school, you can't be a success in life. So we pretend you're something different from what you are so that you can be a success in life. I can't imagine a worse message to give to your child. How about, this school doesn't want you. Let's find a school who does because you're incredible. And there's gonna be a school out there that's gonna appreciate that. And it's gonna be delighted to be able to work with you for a few years.

Yeah, yeah, that would be— I mean, there's, you know, you know and I know from firsthand, uh, too many children that are getting the wrong message. And it's— and unfortunately, don't, don't— you guys don't get offended, just I'm saying this in love, but sometimes the message at home isn't the encouraging message that some kids need, especially if they feel they're being rejected or bullied by other people in the classroom or in the school because they don't fit. But we don't want them to fit. We want them to be who they really are. And that's a message that I just love about that video that I saw. I thought that was Really, the gist of the message was don't try to force your kids into something that they're not.

So I think every child is born with a gift, and it's our job as parents to help them figure out what it is.

Yes.

To tell them how proud we are for their work in that area, even if that's not academic. And I mean, it's so interesting, you know, my older son has a— my only grandchild, and I was at his kindergarten class and all the kids had written, you know, drawn a picture of what they wanted to be when they grew up. And this one wants to be a farmer and this one wants to be a pilot and this one wants to be a doctor. And, you know, this one wants to be a dancer and this one wants to be an artist. And I mean, who knows if that's what they're going to end up being, but they're all different. And we were at some sort of little outdoor restaurant and some people came out and started dancing. And after like 3 minutes, my grandson said, I'm bored, I want to go. And I said to his parents, you know, another kid is going to say, oh my God, can I take lessons? I want to do this.

Right.

Right. So you have to see, like, what creates a spark for that child. It's not the same for everyone. And it's our job as parents to see what gives them joy. And, you know, there are high school parents and they say, oh, I don't really know what my kids' passions are. And I'm like, then, A, you haven't been looking, and B, you haven't given them the time and the space to, to experiment. You've just forced them to do all these things that you thought would help them get into college.

Yeah, we're not asking the right questions because, like you said, we, we just have this, this, uh, view of the world that this is the way it's got to go, and this is what you need to do, son, um, and/or daughter. And, um, it's not for them. And like you said, they're not looking, they're not asking, what are you— what, what are you excited about? Uh, I, I encourage parents to be curious. Stay curious rather than, what are you looking at your phone? What are you doing on the phone? Why are you— what are you— what are you so interested in? Show me, show me what you're so interested about. Gosh, I noticed you're on that for so long. What is it that you're— you know, that kind of conversation, right?

And I mean, maybe 40% or something of the entrepreneurs I've talked to, their passion growing up was sports. And only one of them became a professional athlete. Yeah. And is not anymore. And it doesn't matter because the point is that my older son, it was a tennis player. And, and he started— he hadn't discovered tennis until he was 12, I think. And he fell in love with it. We don't play tennis. And he just kept wanting to play and he'd say, I know what I did wrong, I'll beat them next time. And he fought his way up to 35 in the country.

Wow.

Yeah. And I used to go to these tournaments with the top 100 kids in the country. I think I was the only one who didn't know the rules. And I look back now and I realize that that was really a good thing because he had to figure it out for himself. And You know, he had to decide who to train with and what tournaments to enter and what kind of rackets to buy and, and all these things. So it was actually useful that I didn't, you know, that we couldn't advise him because trust me, if we could have helped him, we'd be like all over him, you know?

Yeah.

Yeah. And our younger son, it was writing music, which he also discovered at about 13. And he'd broken his leg the first week of summer sports camps. And I was looking around for something else for him to do, and I found something to write music on the computer. And I'm like, you're going to this. And at the end of the summer, that was it. And he wrote 300 songs in high school. And neither of my kids were great students. They've both done really well in— after, after school. And You know, we always told them how proud we were of their success in the thing that they loved.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, that, that's— it's, it just sounds so simple, doesn't it? It just sounds so simple. And I guess sometimes we just, we need to be reminded as parents that's, that's really the key. Our kids came into the world with a certain gift. Our role is to help them to discover that and then develop it. And do what we can to be supportive in that. Are there, in your book, would you say, are there certain principles maybe you want to share, just some things you want to walk the audience through, or what to think about in this topic of raising entrepreneurs?

Yeah, I mean, I have 10 basic rules that all of these parents followed. And I mean, we've been talking about some of them, but the first one is every child should have— everyone, every entrepreneur I talked to had a passion outside of school. And every one of their parents supported it. As I say, a lot of them, it was sports. For the artists, they're still doing that today. They're still acting or writing music or painting or whatever. But for everybody else, it pretty much changed, especially the people doing sports.

Right.

But my older son was honored by the tennis center where he had trained for what he had done off the court. And he said, everything I am today is because of tennis. He said, I didn't really like school. I didn't work very hard at school. Tennis is where I learned grit and focus and hard work and determination and resilience and, and all the things I needed in life to be successful. Right. And right. You know, I have like so many examples of people like that. And so then my next rule is let your child learn to win and lose. And, and people ask me like, what's the main difference between people who were raised that, who become entrepreneurs and other people. And I say it's their attitude toward failure. Hmm. Good. Understand that failure is how they will learn and grow.

That's right.

Their parents don't punish them for failing. And even worse than parents who punish their kids for failing, like, I can't believe you, you didn't get that home run. You know what's even worse than that is the parents who say, It wasn't your fault. It wasn't your fault. You know, that other person, they cheated, you know.

Right. Right.

No.

Oh my gosh. I, oh man. Well, I say two things on that. One is simple. There is no success without failure. That's just a message people need to hear. But the other one I learned from Stephen Covey, who said, Nothing fails like success, uh, because people get successful and then they relax, right?

And they're afraid to take risks and to blow it.

Yeah, yeah.

So if you're afraid to fail, you're afraid to take risks. Yes, you're afraid to take risks, you'll never be an entrepreneur.

That's right.

Amen. And also probably following on to what you just said, Richard, I mean, if you're afraid to take risks, you're gonna stick with your company and you're not gonna wanna pivot.

That's right.

But the world changes and what works for the company in 1980 doesn't work for your company in 2026, you know?

Right, right, right. Well, people, you know, our tendency is to settle for peace and safety rather than adventure and progress. And you You can't have progress without adventure, and adventure means risk, right?

Right. And that willingness to take risk. And so parents who end up raising entrepreneurs, when their kids fail, they say, what did you learn from this? What do you think you would do differently next time?

Right.

Is there anything you would change? You know, and just to get them to be curious. And, and also, I think that Entrepreneurs are people who say, does it have to be this way? Could I do it differently? Could I make it better?

That's a great question. Does it have to be this way? That's a great question.

And so, I mean, so many companies that I give examples of, happy to give you a couple examples, but yeah. People got really good in something, and then they realized there was something missing or something that could be improved or something that could be added on to or something that could be changed. And that's how they started their company, because they were raised to say, does it have to be this way? Could I do it differently?

I love that. I love that. That is so true. And so I hope you're listening out there, Mom and Dad. That is great thinking and great insight. What's another one of your rules?

Um, well, we did don't worry about straight A's, right? Um, mentors can be great. So many of these people had a mentor, not a parent, and someone, maybe it was a coach, maybe it was the music teacher, but someone not their parent that they listened to. And sometimes that can be very useful, especially if your teachers don't like you.

Yes, that's often the case.

Um, so then instill confidence, and you don't instill confidence by saying, oh, you did a good job, um, when they didn't.

Oh yeah, right.

You instill confidence by having them find something they love, and again, it can be sports, and it could be acting, and it could be cooking, and it could be building things, and it could be selling things, and it It could be singing and it could be, you know, as I say, any one of a number of sports, anything. But it's something they choose and they start working on it and they get really good. And because they've chosen it and they're working hard at it and they're getting good at it, they get confidence. They begin to realize that if they work hard enough at something, that they can be successful. And then you tell them, like, you're proud of your success in that. And then when it screws up, you tell them, you know, that's life. And, you know, I know you'll figure it out. And they pivot and they get resilience and they learn about failure and they get the confidence to know that they can be successful.

Yeah, the confidence to overcome failure.

Right.

And that's really huge. And, you know, you mentioned sports a few times. That was me and my brother. That was all we ever wanted to do. That's what we did. And wanted to play professional, but me for the Dodgers because I grew up near Los— in, in LA near Dodger Stadium. And, um, but, or, you know, very few, as you already mentioned, very few athletes make it to the pro level. Or maybe even acting, very few, you know, it's a very elite group of people that get to that. But It's through that process, like your son, you learn teamwork, you learn discipline, you learn cooperation, you know, you learn socialize, being social with other people. And then your sports brings ethnicities and religion people, brings us all together. So there's so many great life lessons. And the point I'm making there is because, like, if your son or daughter is really interested in sports or whatever it is, um, even if they don't get there, they're going to get somewhere because of all the life lessons they're going to learn through the discipline, etc., that you— in life lessons you learn going through that process, right?

And so many of them told me how the— what they did in sports is what gave them the skills to, to be successful.

True.

Um, when they grew up, you know, when they, when they became business people.

Yeah, it's true. Very true. Um, how about a couple of others and then we can, we can wrap this up?

Um, so one of them is nurture compassion. Um, again, I think if you ask people who don't know They think people become entrepreneurs to make money. And that's not true. People who want to make money go to Wall Street, right? People become entrepreneurs because they have an idea that they can make a product or a service or, or do, do, you know, do something themselves that will make the world a better place, a better product, a better service. It'll improve people's lives. It's a more comfortable fabric. It's an easier— it's a better smelling detergent. You know, it's a better song. It's a better, you know, thing that they've cooked of something. And they want to bring this to the world.

Yes.

It starts— I mean, these people were all raised not to look out for number one. Not just to try to, you know, do things for themselves, but how can I help other people? How can I make the world a better place? They all think they weren't just put here on Earth to enjoy life. They were put here on Earth to accomplish something and to make the Earth a little better before they leave. And I think that's leading to entrepreneurship.

That is a great— you know what, let's end on that one. That is a great Um, it's all about adding value. That, that's why we're creating this product or this service, as you said, and because we want to add more value to people's lives. It's not about money. I mean, money's— we all need money, you know, we got to have money, we know that. But the motive, that's not it. It's, you see a need. I mean, that's where entrepreneurs start. It's because you see a need. I call it the community cry. And you've— you're hearing the community cry for a need in a way that nobody else is. And you're hearing it and you're feeling it, and it doesn't go away.

It—

and it just is calling you, you know. And then the next thing you know, you, you start moving in that realm, and whatever you end up either creating an organization, creating a nonprofit, or a product, or some kind of service. Um, I, I love that message. Um, listen, Margo, I think, I think what you're doing is great. I definitely want to share your book, uh, in, in Parents on a Mission. There's so much there for parents just to add to everything that we are, are trying to encourage um, the parents, because I believe that is the foundation of all societies. And we cannot— nobody's going to come and save our kids. We can't depend on the government or education or anything like that. It's got to be mom and dad. And so what you're doing is just, um, adds so much value to what we're trying to accomplish. So before we end, um, is there any last word or thought you have that you want to share?

Yeah, I'd love to. It's my favorite, well, sort of paragraph in the book. And I say that even if your child doesn't want to be an entrepreneur, encouraging them to become more entrepreneurial by promoting certain attitudes can only be a good thing. All children thrive if they learn to believe in themselves, to pursue their true passions, to find new ways to solve old problems, to see opportunity where others see the status quo, to be willing to take on a challenge without proper credentials, to work with single-minded determination to achieve a goal, to take on risk if the project is worth trying, to learn that building something wonderful is its own reward regardless of how much money you make, to view failure as feedback and setbacks as learning experiences, and to dream big dreams. Wow.

There you have it, Mom and Dad. What, what more can we add to that? Um, listen, if you are knowing somebody, a parent or family that you believe this, uh, episode would help, I would really appreciate if you'll share this. Of course, if you're not a subscriber, please subscribe. Subscribe, like the video, and that just really helps us reach more people, more parents, and that's what Parents on a Mission is all about. So Margo, thank you so much for your time. I really appreciate it. I love what you're doing. I wish you all the success.

Thank you.

With your book— there it is— and all her information, how to get the book Her socials, all of that will be in the show notes so that we can— you can stay in touch with her if you want to join her, whatever other things she has going on, on her website. We'll make sure that you have that information. Thank you for listening to the Parent Whisperer podcast. I'm Richard R Ramos, and always remember, mom and dad, Parents on a Mission is not for bad parents. It's for good parents who just want to keep getting better. Thanks for listening.

Thanks, Richard.