A short YouTube video in which a speaker recounts regret after getting breast implants. The speaker describes early cultural imprinting (1980s Barbie, Pamela Anderson) that shaped an ideal of large breasts, feelings of shame after breastfeeding-related breast changes, and an obsession with breast size that led to surgery. Postoperatively she experienced acute pain, a sense of foreignness ('hard balls on your chest'), persistent stress, sleep problems, heart racing, chronic tiredness/exhaustion, and ongoing dissatisfaction with the outcome.
Chapters
Yeah, so, you know, I grew up in the 80s, and Barbie in the 80s used to have really big breasts. So that was that, you know, that's how we were imprinted. And then there was Baywatch and Pamela Anderson. And that was for us when we were, like, young girls. That was like, the ideal body, the ideal female body. And I remember when I was around, like, 10 years old, taking the bus, a public bus to school, and there was a woman, like an adult woman, getting on the bus, and she was very flat. And I remember I was so young, but I looked at her and I felt sorry for her. I really thought, oh, my God, this poor woman, you know, she's not very attractive. After breastfeeding, my first child, and I was. Was in my early 20s, I had no boobs left, really, just skin, saggy skin. And when I was lying on the side, it was just hanging, and there was just a little nipple on saggy skin. It was so depressing that I sometimes would just start to cry when I looked at my breasts. And I was in my early 20s. All I knew is that I was totally unhappy with how my breasts looked. Like, it was like, really, when my child was a little bit older and then I wanted to go to the pool and I just looked at everybody else's breasts and like, everybody had nicer breasts than me. And then, you know, it was just. I don't know, I was. I. I think I was pretty much obsessed, actually, with my size. But, you know, it, like when you have something like that become an obsession. And it was such a. You know, and it was so important to me because, like, you know, I was such a big fan of Pamela Anderson. So at that point, that's. That starts the journey to getting implants. But then, you know, like, the obsession didn't go away. So this, you know, it is like. This is a lot of it is. I don't want to say like, just mental, but I was still obsessed because, you know, I had a little bit bigger breasts, so at least I could buy a bra. A little bit of cleavage. So. But, you know, I was still not. I still was not as pretty as Pamela Anderson, for example, you know, as some other women, you know. So when I woke up right after the surgery, I was in so much pain. I felt so uncomfortable. It felt so weird and so strange, and. And I was not happy. And it was so weird to have these hard balls on your chest. And I do believe that they started right away, but, you know, subtle. Slowly a little bit. But I. You know, I just. I felt, you know, looking back, I felt very stressed all the time afterwards. Yeah. So I had no idea that it has anything to do with the breast. So what I had, you know, like, was sleeping problems, heart racing. After that, I was, you know, I felt like I never recovered. I was constantly tired and exhausted. I couldn't sleep at night. My.
