Abandonment and neglect trauma creates a paradox: people desperately want connection but act in ways that push others away. They either cling and control or withdraw and isolate, both driven by a core belief they deserve to be lonely.
Chapters
How do you— how does that show itself in our life? That shows itself through the feeling of loneliness. So a lot of people, what they struggle with is they struggle with loneliness. They struggle with the feeling of loneliness that is rooted in the trauma of abandonment and neglect. And people that struggle with loneliness have 2 types of behaviors within relationships. They typically These, these are typically the 2 types. That doesn't mean it's all of them, but these are typically the 2 types of behaviors that folks that struggle with loneliness do, right? So that's the action. The feeling is lonely— loneliness. The action of that loneliness, or the doing of that loneliness, shows itself through control, hoarding, or manipulating relationships. Interesting enough to become lonely. Or you isolate, retreat, and retract and build walls. To become lonely. The belief is you deserve to be lonely even though you hate it.