Ryan Nisbet says "How are you?" puts people on autopilot and makes them lean away. Instead, try dopamine-triggering openers like "What's good?" or "Working on anything exciting recently?" They make listeners recall positive moments, which credits you for the good feeling and increases likability.
Never ask, "How are you?" We tested the top conversation starters and that one came in dead last. People literally leaned away. You're telling them, "I'm going to ask the same boring questions as everyone else." So their brain goes on autopilot and it's impossible to connect with someone on autopilot. Instead, I try to verbally trigger dopamine. I ask, "What's good?" or "Working on anything exciting recently?" Now their brain wakes up and searches for good things. Here's the best part. Their brain gives you credit for all that good feeling. You become the person they remember, the person they want to talk to again.
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