Choose Your Own Adventure

But that's the same as life. Life is choose your own adventure. We think that it's not, and we often treat it like it's a paint by numbers kind of thing. You know, if we go to this school, if we get those grades, if we go to this university, if we get that particular degree, if we get that job, if we get that promotion, and if we get that level of salary, then we'll have made it. We'll be successful, we'll be happy. That's what life's about. That's what we are all striving for and all should be striving for. But what I want you to think about is, is that what you want? You're listening to the Circle C Project. Welcome to the Triple C Project, the PODC that helps you gain clarity, boost confidence, build courage, so you can live lifeless. I'm your host, Ryan Spence, the big lore dropout, life coach, author, speaker, lover of hoodies, hip hop, and big, hairy, audacious goals. If you're tired of living the life you think you should want and ready to start living the life you do want, this podcast will help you get from where you are to where you really want to be. So now with friends, I invite you to grab a drink, take a seat, allow me to guide you towards living a life that. Hey, hey. Welcome to episode 29 of the Triple C Project. I'm back here coming live to you in real time. Except none of that makes any sense because this is a podcast and it's recorded. But what I mean is that I'm recording this in my usual fashion the day before release. So I'm talking about things that are happening right now. Hope you've all been. Well, I had a fantastic break and I was actually going to record an episode about some of the things that I sort of learned or that had come to me while I was away because there were lots of creative downloads, lots of ideas, lots of concepts. I may still do that, but I'm not going to do that this week because there's something else I want to talk about. But before I get to the subjects of this week's episode, as always, a reminder, my book, the Triple C Method. Gain clarity, boost confidence, and build courage so you can live life lit. Still out there, still available, still helping people switch their lives up, helping them get from where they are to where it is that they want to be. So if you haven't got it yet, what are you waiting for? Go ahead, grab your copy, paperback, ebook, even the audiobook. Yes, I went out There recording an audiobook for you all. So go ahead, check it out. Get the workbook. I know a lot of people have bought the book, but there's a discrepancy between the number of people that have bought and have read the book and the number of people have downloaded the workbook. And I mean, look, that's cool, but really, I want the book to really help you move forward. And in order for that to happen, you need to do the work. So the workbook is going to help you to do that. It's going to give you all of the things I talk about in the book in a, in a helpful package, which makes it easy for you to work through systematically. Um, in terms of working on the journal prompts, in terms of getting the thoughts that you need, and in terms of reframing the way that you think about things. So get the book, get the workbook, which is free, and get yourself on the path towards living life. Lit. So today I want to talk about choice, and I want to tell you that you get to choose. And this is inspired by. It's a post that I wrote. Well, it's a post that I wrote. I found it in my. In my notes app. And I may or may not post it before, I don't know, because I'm not very good at keeping out records, as you. As you all know, But I wrote it almost, almost a year ago, and as I was looking at it today, I thought, this is actually still really relevant, particularly in terms of some of the conversations I've been having with people and some of the responses I get to the, to the questionnaire that people fill in when they, when they apply to sort of book a consultation call. So I thought I'd talk to you about that today because I don't know how often you do this, but I used to do this all the time. And I used to say things like, I don't have a choice. You know, I'd be in a. In the job that I didn't like and I wasn't happy in, but I would tell myself that I can't leave. I'd say, I'm just stuck where I am now. I've kind of made my bed and I have to lie in it. I just have to suck it up. And I want you to think, have you ever said any of these things to yourself? You probably have, because we do, right? And it's a way of throwing our hands up in despair. And what it does is it disempowers us because you effectively relinquish all power and control to the outside world, to external forces. And you just accept that, well, this is the way it is and I don't have a choice. And it's because we're conditioned to look at life through a particular lens, a lens that narrows our vision and limits our belief as to what's possible. You know, the whole thing about when you try to do something new and the, the message that comes back is that's not the way we do things. Things haven't been done this way before. Whether that's in your life, whether that's in your, in your work. I mean, look, big law is no choice for this. Although there is. There are people out there who are sort of pushing to, to bring things up to date, to introduce new ways of doing things, to make things more efficient. There was still a die hard old guard that are very wedded to the way that things were done because that's the way that worked for them. And they can't accept the fact that things are going to change or things should change. But anyway, I digress. We are conditioned to look at life through a particular lens. And so that's the lens that we look through. And we're told that it's fine. When we complain about the fact that we don't have choices, if we dare to complain, that is, we're told that actually, yes, you do. You do have choices. You have choices within this narrow sphere, within this narrow line of sight. And that's true, we do. You get to choose. You get to choose to live to work. You get to choose to stay in a job that drains your energy. You get to choose to continuously try to fit yourself into a box that wasn't even made for you. And you get to choose to sacrifice your relationships, your health, your life to make money, to buy things, to impress people that don't even give a fuck about you. You know, to live a life that you're told that you should live, that you probably don't even want deep down. And you also get to choose to hit your self worth and your identity to your career status and climb a ladder that's heading somewhere you don't want to go, but feel you have to go there. Here's the thing that you're not told. You don't have to look at your life through that lens. You can take off that pair of glasses, put on your own glasses. You can remove the previous assisted vision from your face and let your eyes adjust to the light out there, to the world, to the opportunities that present themselves. Because when you do that, when you stop looking through somebody else's glasses and start to look through your own, you'll realize that you get to choose not to do any of the things I just talked about. Because that's life. You know, the thing about life is it's choose your own adventure. I posted something recently about choose your own adventure books that I used to read as a kid. Maybe you remember them. It's those books where you would start to read and then at key points within the story, you'd be given an option to jump to a page if you wanted one thing to happen, or another page if you wanted to go in a different direction. And depending upon the page that you chose, it would. This story would take a different twist and a different turn. Love those books. I'd always go back and read all the different versions. But that's the same as life. Life is choose your own adventure. We think that it's not and we often treat it like it's a. A paint by numbers kind of thing. You know, if we go to this school, if we get those grades, if we go to this university, if we get that particular degree, if we get that job, if we get that promotion, and if we get that level of salary, then we'll have made it will be successful. We'll be happy. That's what life's about. That's what we are all striving for and or should be striving for. But what I want you to think about is, is that what you want? Do you want to do what everyone else is doing? Do you want to do what everyone else says that you should be doing? Do you want to do things the way that everyone else is doing it? Aren't you tired of feeling you have to lower your volume, take up less space so that you can fit into places that you're not even sure you want to be in? Aren't you tired of sacrificing your well being and your relationships in your life for something that you don't even believe in or care about? Aren't you tired of feeling you have to do what everyone else is doing even though it isn't what you want to do? And look, I'm guessing that if you're listening to this podcast, if you've listened to any of these podcasts, followed any of my content, read my book, I'm guessing the answer to those questions is yes, you are tired. You're so fucking tired. But you don't know what to do about it. So you keep doing what you've always done and keep telling yourself you don't have a choice. What I want to invite you here. I want to invite you to stop looking at life through someone else's glasses. I want you to stop looking at the external and giving up your power to these external sources. I want you to stop living your life in accordance with the conditioning that has followed you through from school, university, in your career to where you are now. And what I want you to do is to start looking within yourself. And I want you to start thinking about who you really are, what you really want. And I want you to try this for a day. Maybe the week. Maybe let's do it for a week, until the next episode comes out. I want you to try to not say to yourself about anything that you don't have a choice. I want you to not give up your power that way. And I want you to reframe the way that you think about things. So, for example, getting up and going to work, you might say, I don't have a choice, I have to go to work. But actually, if you think about it, you don't. There'll be consequences if you don't go to work. You know, you may lose your job, you may not have money to pay your bills, you may not be able to do certain things. But that's all still a choice if you really think about it. So instead of saying, I don't have a choice, I have to go to work, what if you thought about the reasons why, why you're choosing to go to work and empower yourself in that way? So I'm choosing to go to work because I have a bigger dream I'm working towards. And by going to work, I will earn the money to allow me to fund that dream. What have you thought about it in those terms? How does that make you feel? Is there then a shift in how you approach things? Do you feel like you're more empowered, like you're doing something because of choice? You're doing it intentionally, not passively. And this is what I mean. This isn't to diminish the fact that there are things out there that we don't want to do, but there are things out there that we don't want to do. Sometimes we just feel that we need to do. So how can we look at them in a way that empowers us to look at it through the lens that we are making a choice to do this, and we're making that choice because it supports our goals, it supports the greater vision that we have for ourselves. It serves us. When you do that, I think that you'll find that you start to be on the path towards the life. Because as I say, being late is all about feeling like you have a purpose, you have a mission, like you're working towards something bigger than yourself. Like those moments of joy, of excitement become the norm rather than the exception. But that can't happen if you're consistently telling yourself that you don't have a choice about the decisions that you make. So I want you, as I say this week, to just try that, Try for a week, to not tell yourself that you don't have a choice about anything. Whether it's going to work, whether it's about eating that last piece of cake, whether it's having that extra cup of coffee, whether it's going out to that party or that networking event that you feel you don't want to go to, Whatever it is, I want you to just notice and catch yourself when you start to say, well, I have to do this. I don't have a choice. And think about how you can flip that around to make it your choice whether or not to do the thing. If you do that, I would love to hear how that works out for you. Drop me a line. Send me an email at hey, am Ryan Spencer. Or just send me a message on Instagram at I am underscore Ryan Spence. And let me know, let me know how that felt. Did it feel awkward? Did it feel empowering? Did it make you feel happier, lighter about what you were doing? Just. Yeah, just. Just let me know. Because if we change the way that we think we. And we change our habits, we can change the way that we, that we feel and we can start to look at things differently. Because if we keep looking at things in the same way, through the same glasses, we're always going to see the same thing. And with the work that I do, it's all about shaking things up. It's all about reframing how you think not only about yourself, but about the world around you, about the decisions that you make, about the choices that you make, about the habits that you have. So it's all about rewiring those thoughts. So that's really all I have for you this week to let you know that you have a choice and to start thinking about how you can ensure that you're empowering yourself to make. To make use of those choices in any given situation. So go ahead, try the exercise. Let me know how it works out for you. And yeah, I really hope that it starts to starts to give you a different way of thinking about things. And then even beyond the week, you catch yourself when you're disempowering yourself by telling yourself that you don't have a choice. Okay, that's it for me this week. Just to let you know that this is the sort of work that I do with my clients, with my coaching. Clients sit down, have the sessions and help to sort of rewire the way that they're thinking about things, reframe, get them to look at things differently and help them to see that they kind of have the power to make certain changes in their life that better serve them, that will get them to where it is that they want to be. If you'd like to find out more about what coaching entails, how, what it's like to work with me, head to iamryanspence.com coaching and you've got all the details there. Or you can just drop me an email again. Hey, am Ryan Spence.com or DM Instagram at iam underscore Ryan Spence or find me over on LinkedIn. I'm there as Ryan Spence too. And just let me know your questions, let me know what you're thinking about and if it sounds interesting, we can get on a consultation call. And on the call I'll find out a bit more about you. You can ask any questions that you have. I'll give you a little bit of coaching so you see how coaching helps the power of coaching. And if we're a good fit, I'll share with you how to work with me and we can start to work together to get you from that life of lethargy and to start living a life that's lit. Until next week. Have a good week and I'll catch you on the flip side. Thanks for tuning in to the Triple C project. Before you go, I want to share something with you. When I was in Big Law, I struggled with limiting beliefs. I didn't have the confidence to believe that I could change my life, that I could lead Big Law and do something differently, that I could move from a life of lethargy and create a life that's lit. That's why I created the confidence journey for people like you, who are in the same position that I was, who are struggling with that confidence and need a boost to allow you to believe that you can do the things that you want to do. Confidence Journal is six journal prompts that I've used and I still use to help me get from the guy who was too scared to post on Instagram to the guy who is now committed to giving a TED Talk. So the guy who wrote a book to the guy who launched a podcast. You can do any of this, too. All you need to do is stop boosting your confidence. So to do that, head to iamrinespence.com and download the Confidence Journal. It's free, it works, and it's going to change your life. Thanks for tuning in. See you next week. And remember, stop living a life of lethargy and start living life lit.