Slow The F Down!

I want to share this, to ask you to give yourself permission to slow the fuck down, to rest. And I mean just rest. As in sit and do nothing. Sit and let your brain just wander. Sit, lay back, look at the sky, I mean, and just do some blue sky thinking, whatever it is, just finding those moments to just be and not do. You're listening to the Circle C Project.

Welcome to the Triple CE Project, the podcast that helps you gain clarity, boost confidence, build courage, so you can live life lit. I'm your host, Ryan Spence, the big Law dropout, life coach, author, speaker, lover of hoodies, hip hop and big hairy, audacious goals. If you're tired and living the life you think you should want and ready to start living the life you do want, this podcast will help you get from where you are to where you.

Really want to be.

So now with friends, I invite you to grab a drink, take a seat, and allow me to guide you towards living a life that's lit.

Hey. Hey. Welcome to episode 64 of the Triple C Project. Now, as a big Law dropout, I talk lot about the annoyance of not having control of your time and of consistently having to push yourself harder. Stay in the office late, you know, sleep with your phone under your pillow, all of that nonsense and how leaving Big Law has helped me to escape that, escape that pressure, escape that lack of control. But what do you do when you do have some control or when you're doing something that you love, that you want to do, but you find yourself falling back into those habits of continuously pushing yourself? That's what I'm going to talk about in this week's episode. And what I want to say, first of all is here are four words I want to leave you with. I want you to leave this episode with. And I'll probably repeat them during the episode, but they are words that came to my mind as I was laid up with COVID last week, which I'll talk about a little bit more. And those four words are, and you may want to cover the ears of any little ones in the vicinity. Slow the fuck down. Slow the fuck down. Now, I'm somebody who is always on the go, always pushing, always striving, always trying to achieve something, to do something, to learn something. And in looking at this with my. My therapist recently, I realized this is the way that I've always been, regardless of what I was doing, always in a hurry, always taking action. And it's because that's how we're conditioned. You have to keep busy, work hard, you know, idle Hands are the devil's workshop is the phrase I often remember being said as a kid. And so that's what you do. And whether it's in your work life or your personal life, maybe you excel at sports or you have some other extracurricular activity where you've won a load of awards and you're renowned for doing, but you just keep pushing. And that was definitely me. And what I realized in my bedridden Covid state last week is that I've carried that almost to an extreme in terms of what I'm doing now. And I believe that the last week that my. My second bout of COVID was really a plea by my body, by my mind, by the universe, to slow the fuck down. Because I know I've been pushing myself hard for a while now and for different reasons than when I was in big law. As I said then, it was a case of feeling. I had to. It was the expectation. It was kind of like, that's what you do. Whereas now it's because I'm so clear on where I want to get to. I want to get there as quickly as possible. And so I've kept pushing, doing all the things and sacrificing sleep and sacrificing. Really taking the time to rest in the process.

But let's talk about rest for a.

Second, because if you had asked me before, I would never have said that I have a problem with rest. I love chilling out, I love getting massages, I love relaxing on a beach. I love to sit and watch some TV sometimes, you know, I love to do yoga, I love to do Pilates, all of these things that I like to do. But what I realized is that my rest was always taken up with still trying to be productive in some way, shape or form. So I remember when I realized last week that I did have Covid and I was feeling awful, and I just thought, okay, fine, I'm going to take this time to get into bed. And I piled up a few books by the side of my bed that I'd started that I kind of wanted to continue reading. I had a journal by the bed. I thought I'd brainstorm some ideas and had all of these ideas of things that I could do and catch up on, bits of admin, bits of planning, that sort of thing. But it became apparent very quickly that none of that shit was going to happen because I just couldn't. I couldn't even focus to read. I had a pounding headache a lot of the times, and I just kept drifting in and out of Sleep, that's how sick I was. And there was no way I was going to be doing any yoga or any Pilates. And I, I couldn't really move. Basically getting up and getting to the, to the bathroom or getting downstairs to grab some food was the most that I could do. So I was actually forced to rest in the real sense of the word. Because everything was saying, no, you're not doing anything else, you need to do this. And I'm not going to lie, the first few days were really uncomfortable and I was really fighting this, this demand to rest. But once I allowed myself to just be with that, to just take that, it's amazing what started to occur because thoughts started to come into my head that hadn't been there before. Some thought download started to arrive and I wasn't feeling like I needed to capture them all down and make sense of them. I was just letting them be. And in letting them be, it's almost as if another level of clarity appeared. And I came out of that week. 10 days of real sickness, really. I haven't been that ill in a long time, with a whole new perspective, a reframe of my thoughts and not of my vision, but of kind of how I wanted to reach that, to execute, to create that vision. And I'm sharing this with you because if you're listening to this, you're likely somebody who is the same way that I was, who is always on the go in their job, who feels they have to push more, who feels that they have to get that next promotion, they have to get that next pay rise, they got to get on that next deal. This is the way that you move forward. And even if you don't want to do that life anymore, you feel that that's kind of like the path that you have to be on, because that's what we're conditioned to be. Being busy is a badge of honor. You know, having back to back meetings and rushing around and not having time to have lunch, grab a bite to eat, go to the bathroom. People used to talk about this shit all the time in BIG and although sometimes they would say it, they say they were a little bit annoyed by it, for some people you could tell that it was kind of like this sense of pride. It was this badge of honor to be on the go. It made them feel important, it kind of delivered a certain status to them. But actually that's all bullshit. And what I also realized is that having exited BIG Law and doing my own thing, I was almost falling into a similar pattern. But for different reasons. For me now, it wasn't falling into that pattern out of obligations or out of a need to. Of status, a sense of trying to build my self worth. It was falling into that place from a position of wanting to get somewhere quickly and wanted to create this life that I envisioned. But in doing that, I kind of was almost reentering that corporate state of mind. I was having calendars that didn't have much white space. There were. I was having lots of late nights. Whether that was with calls or with planning or training or whatever. I was taking on lots of different things because I was curious about all of these things. I could see how they all fitted into the bigger puzzle. But in all of the doing, I wasn't really giving myself much time to just be. And that was really profound to me. As I laid in my bed for the week and really thought about that, I was like, actually right now I'm being and not doing. And despite this awful Covid thing, it feels quite good to not be rushing around, to not be going from one meeting to another, from one call to another, from one course to another. It just felt good to just be because. And in the being actually it gives the brain time to rest, which generates a whole host of ideas that you never would have come up with before. To get to where it is that you want to get to, to create what it is that you want to create. That's that to help you to get in touch with your inner knowing. The thing with inside of you that knows you better than consciously you know yourself. But that can only happen if we take some time to just kill the noise, to slow the fuck down, to find that stillness amidst the chaos. And I was kind of finding that in my morning meditation, but it was the morning meditation and then it was get up and go. And I wasn't finding as much of that time throughout the course of my day. And therefore I found that I was kind of. I kind of stepped off this. I don't know, I kind of stepped off this corporate wheel, being the stressed out cog on this corporate wheel. And almost unintentionally and unconsciously over time, I built my own wheel and had gotten to that. And it started slowly moving that around and it was speeding up. So I traded one wheel for another. And although they were different, one wasn't built by me and one was the effect and the outcome was the same. And I'd never really looked at it like that until that week. Until having that time to just be and not do. Having that time to Just slow the fuck down.

Hey, I'm interrupting myself to give you this short message. Now, if you're listening to this pod, you're likely looking to change your life. Here's the thing. Transformation doesn't happen by doing what you've always done. It happens when you change your thoughts about what's possible for you. My book, the Triple C Method, helps you do that by giving you the tools and strategies to stop living a life of lethargy and start living life lit. Described as a transformational toolkit, and the book I wish I'd had when I decided to leave corporate. The Triple C method will change how you see yourself and how you live your life. Available now as paperback, ebook and audiobook read by yours truly. Head to iamrinespence.com book or over to your favorite bookseller to grab your copy today so you can stop living a life of lethargy and start living life lit.

So I'm sharing this because you are likely pushing yourself, whether that is in your career, whether that's in your personal life, whether you have a side hustle, whether you have created this vision of your lit life, and you're trying to make that happen. Just in your very nature of being who you are, being this ambitious, successful, alpha person, you are accustomed to pushing yourself. And it's like when you are an athlete, when you're used to running that fast for that long, pushing yourself to those limits, things that would make other people feel, oh, this is too much, I need to have a break here. They don't happen to you because you're so used to it, and it becomes part of who you are. And I think for me, knowing about human design and understanding that I was a manifesting generator and that I have this energy to just keep going and keep going that almost gave me license, gave me permission to keep doing what I was already doing, to keep pushing the way that I've been pushing for the last two, three years. But like anything, you can't do that forever. And even more than that, what I understood when all of these thought downloads occurred, from just being and not doing, is that even if I got to where I want to get to my goals for this year, doing what I was doing, it's not a sustainable way of doing things in the long term. But if I got there by doing that, then I would think that, okay, I got there doing that. So therefore, I need to keep doing that to get to the next stage and the next stage and the next stage. And at some point something would have to Give. Fortunately, this time it was just a week, just over a week with COVID which I tell you was not pleasant. It was my second time and it was awful and I would not wish it on anybody, but it was a week and I got over it. But next time it could be something a whole lot worse, as you see with people burning out in the corporate world and nervous exhaustion and all of these other side effects of continuously pushing yourself to the absolute limit until you just break. So again, I want to share this, to ask you to give yourself permission to slow the fuck down, to rest. And I mean just rest, as in sit and do nothing. Sit and let your brain just wander. Sit, lay back, look at the sky, I mean, and just do some blue sky thinking, whatever it is, just finding those moments to just be and not do. Because on the one hand it can feel like I need to get somewhere, I have to do. I mean, that's what's going to happen. This isn't helping me, but actually in the process of slowing down, that can actually help you go faster. And that's not just me saying that. It's practically. It's true, it's a scientific fact. And I'll close by just sharing a short anecdote about my. My driving indiscretions. I've had a couple of speed and tickets. We don't need to go into the details here, but one of the things here in the UK is that if it's your first offence or if you haven't had a similar offence in the last three years, rather than getting the points and getting the fine, you can take a speed awareness course, which is basically about half a day sat on zoom, where you can't leave at all, with very strict conditions being sort of told and indoctrinated as to why speeding is bad and what you should maybe do instead, and the rules of the road, et cetera, et cetera. But one of the things that came up in the last one that I did, you have done a couple, is the fact that when you are on the motorway, freeway, I guess, if you're in the US or elsewhere, and there's this tendency to speed up and go over the speeding limit with the idea that it's going to get you to where you want to get to faster. But actually, particularly when there are controls in place where they do have reduced speed limits because of roadworks or because there's traffic build up further ahead, actually sticking to the speed limit can get you to where you want to get to faster, because you are going with the flow of traffic at a pace that allows you to have that space between you and. And whatever's going on in front of you. And it sounds counterintuitive. Instinctively you think, well, if I keep. Put my foot down and go faster and keep pushing, I'm going to get to where I want to get to a hell of a lot quicker. But that isn't always the case, especially when there's other cars on the road, when there's other traffic on the road and you can't see what's going on ahead of you. That came to mind when I was thinking about this is that yes, when you want to get somewhere, you want to get there fast as I do. I want to get there quickly. But actually in the desire to get there quickly, sometimes the quickest way to get there is to allow yourself to slow the fuck down sometimes. It doesn't mean that you just basically lol along and don't push yourself, don't exert yourself. But what it means is that you have those bursts of really hard push acceleration when you feel you need to. But you also build in times of just being, just slowing it down, Allowing the mind, the body, the soul to just rest and not feeling that it has to rest, quote, unquote, in a productive way. But it can just rest. It can take a nap, it can sit and look at the sky, it can take a walk to the park and just sit and look at the flowers or watch the people go by without agenda, without feeling that it has to mean something. It has to be productive. You have to explain to somebody how you spent that time. So trust me, as somebody who has always pushed himself and is always on the go, this has been a real eye opener for me. Not because it's something I didn't know before, but because it's something I didn't fully practice before. Because it was something I thought, I'll do that when I've got to where I want to get to, when actually what I need to do is do it now. And in the few days that I've been sort of practicing this, I. I've just felt this spaciousness, this space around me and it feels fucking good. And it's leading me to change the way that I do some things, the way that I manage my calendar when I decide to have calls, how many calls I have within any given day, lots of different things. Changes are going to sort of be happening over the next few weeks for me to allow me to get to where I want to get to in the state that I want to get there in the state that is sustainable, that feels good, that feels joyous, that feels spacious, that feels lit. So slow the fuck down. Take that with you. Apply it to whatever it is you're doing now, your life, your career, whatever it is. Take that time to just be. And if you want some help with that, if you want to send some resources, there's a couple of books that I can really recommend that I've read, which have been amazing about just resting, really. So shoot me a message and I can give you my recommendations. And as always, if you just need help, with permission, to take that break, to create that space so you can look inward and get in touch with that inner knowing, so you can get that clarity, boost that confidence and build that courage, so you can get to where you want to get to. So you can start to believe in yourself, believe that you are strong enough, you are capable enough, you are intelligent enough, you are inspirational enough to do the things that you want to do, to achieve the dreams that you can carry around in your mind. Then we should have call, we should have a chat. Head to iamrinespence.com coaching or send me a message, LinkedIn or on Instagram at. I am Ryan Spence, and let's see how, as your coach, I can help you get to where you want to get to so you can stop living a life of lethargy and start living life.

Thanks for tuning in. But before you go, the weight of limiting beliefs is heavy. It literally weighs you down and keeps you stuck in that life of lethargy.

I know.

It's why I stayed in Big Law for so long.

And it's why so many of my.

Clients don't believe they can do the things that they want to do. But what causes those limiting beliefs? It's a lack of confidence. Lack of confidence in the belief that you can do the things that you want to do. And I've got something for that. It's my confidence journal. It's six journal prompts that I created that I've used to help me get from where I am to where I want to be. To help to give me the belief to do the things that seem outside of my control, outside of what I can do.

If this sounds like you, you need.

To get your hands on the journal.

Best thing about it, it's free.

All you have to do is head to iamryspence.com hit the button for confidence journal and get your copy today. It's going to help you start to reframe your thoughts. And get you thinking about what you can do instead of focusing on what you can't do and shed that load of limiting beliefs that you don't need to be carrying. See you again next week. And until that time, stop living a life of lethargy and start living life lit.