It's OK to change your mind. It's called growth!

They want you to be the same person you were 10, 15, 20 years ago. And when you start to grow out of that, when you start to change, when you start to want something more or something different than what you did before, they lose their shit. You're listening to the Circle C Project.

Welcome to the Triple CE Project, the podcast that helps you gain clarity, boost confidence, build courage so you can live lifeless. I'm your host, Ryan Spence, the big lore dropout, life coach, author, speaker, lover of hoodies, hip hop and big hairy, audacious goals. If you're tired of living the life you think you should want and ready to start living the life you do want, this podcast will help you get from where you are to where you.

Really want to be.

So now with friends, I invite you to grab a drink, take a seat, and allow me to guide you towards living a life that lit. What's up?

Welcome to episode 52 of the Triple C Project. I'm going to start this with a.

Probably a little bit of a strange.

Opener, but what do Marie Kondo and Jay Z have in common? Weren't expecting that, were you? Yeah, well, I thought I'd just play.

Around with you a little bit, but.

Trust me, there is method in my madness. So Marie Kondo, if you don't know, is she's a Japanese woman who wrote the book the Life Changing Magic of Tidying and also had a Netflix series along the same lines. And she created or invented this method, Konrary method of tidying and decluttering your house.

You only keep hold of things that.

Spark joy and you let things go that do not, but you thank them along the way. And it's all about getting your house, your space, into. Into a place of order and to a place of minimalism, almost even down to books. She advised that you basically, you get rid of books, apart from a small selection that bring you joy. There was obviously lots of people at the time who disagreed with that, but there are lots of people who bought into the method and tried to replicate what she was teaching. There was an article recently where she said that now, now that she has kids, I think she has three kids now that she's actually had to let some of what she was teaching for by the wayside. And people are losing their.

It's.

It's hilarious. People are saying she should give refunds, she should apologize. And I'm like, the woman's got three kids. Like we've all said and done. I mean, I know I have. Before I had kids, I said lots of dumb and then I had kids. I was like, oh, oh, okay. But even if you don't have kids, I mean, seriously, can a woman not change her mind? And Jay Z. Jay Z has also been demonized for changing his mind or showing some element of growth. Back in 2000, Jay Z released a song called Big Pimpin. And for some, that's probably one of his biggest. Well, it's not his biggest hit, but you go and see Jay Z live and perform that, I mean, the place goes absolutely bananas. It's amazing. But you listen to that song now and, you know, it's. It's probably not a song you would be making now, but it was. It was great at the time. And I still listen to it. It's fantastic. But in 2017, Jay Z released the album 444. And it was a beautiful album, very mature album. Talking about his marriage, his mistakes in his marriage, his kids, you know, all the kind of stuff you would talk about when you're in your mid to late 40s, as he then was. Again, people lost their, oh, Jay Z's boring. He's fallen off. He ain't no good. What is this? Because they still wanted a man in his 40s to be talking about what he was talking about in his 20s or early 30s. And it's like, nah, that's not how it works. Like changing your mind. You are allowed to change your mind. Changing your mind shows growth. It's evidence of growth. And you've probably seen it in your own world. I mean, I've definitely seen it in law firms. Somebody is on the track. I mean, they've been an associate, they're moving up the ranks or whatever. And then they suddenly decide, actually, this. I don't want to do this anymore. And they leave, sometimes quit law altogether like I did. And there were some people who are like, wow. Who in awe and saying, wow, that's amazing. But there was definitely people out there. And you hear them, they will say this out loud, basically saying that the person, they couldn't hack it, not a team player. They lack commitment, you know, and. And show them to be flaky, to be uncertain of what it is that they want to do. As if the dreams and desires that they had, maybe when they were at law school or back at university, should be the same as they have when they've been in their career for 10, 15 years. It's like, no, people grow. Like, we are never the same person from second to second, never mind day to day or year to year. We are always taking in new experiences, new ideas, or we should be if we're maintaining an open mind and they are going to influence us in some way. And just because we believe something today, if we're exposed to new information and new research, then we should be open to that and we should be prepared to change our opinion if that new evidence and that new research proves to us that that should be the case. We shouldn't stay fixed on what we thought when we were 18 until we die. You know, we should always be looking to grow, to be curious, I say to always see what else is going on and expose ourselves to different situations.

Hey, I'm interrupting myself to give you this short message.

Now.

If you're listening to this podcast, you're likely looking to change your life.

Here's the thing.

Transformation doesn't happen by doing what you've always done. It happens when you change your thoughts about what's possible for you. My book, the Triple C Method helps you do that by giving you the tools and strategies to stop living a life of lethargy and start living life lit, described as a transformational toolkit, and the book I wish I'd had when I decided to leave corporate the Triple C Method will change how you see yourself and how you live your life. Available now as paperback, ebook and audiobook, read by yours truly. Head to iamryspence.com book or over to your favourite bookseller to grab your copy today so you can stop living a life of lethargy, start living life next.

But there are people out there, going back to the examples of Marie Kondo and of Jay Z, who don't want that. They want you to be the same person you were 10, 15, 20 years ago. And when you start to grow out of that, when you start to change, when you start to want something more or something different than what you did before, they lose their shit because they just don't know how to react to it. And I think part of that is frustration that you are seemingly going beyond where they are. And that's a little bit confusing for them either because they just don't understand it or because they would want to do it too, but they feel that they can't. And this is sometimes what you can hold you back. Because look, we all want to be light as much as we talk about not being a people pleaser, and I'm a big advocate of not being a people pleaser in the sense of not being a people pleaser to the extent of lacking commitment to yourself. But we all kind of want to please people Right. No one intentionally wants to go through the world pissing people off. Well, very few people. So when people do show some, some reticence at our changes, at our growth, us doing new things, it can lead us to second guess and question ourselves about whether or not we should be doing what we're doing. And in doing that, we just stay where we are. Even though we may be miserable, even though it's not where we want to be. We end up living life for other people, to make other people happy. And I'm here to say, fuck that bullshit. Your life is your life. If you're going to live it for other people, then what's the point? Because you're never going to make other people happy all of the time. There's always going to be a movement of the goalposts. You do this one thing for them and then they want more. I sit with my kids, you know, that's for my particular, my youngest, and that's for one thing, and they're like.

Okay, fine, have that.

You know, I mean, have one. Sweet, but I want to. And even if you give into two, then it's three. If you go into three, then it's four. No, people are always going to want more. You're never going to be able to fully, please, fully satisfy everybody. So why not start with pleasing yourself? What is it that you want? Where is it that you want to go? Who is it that you want to be? Because you're going to grow, you're going to change anyway. Whether you allow that change to come in and seep through your body and sort of affect the way that you see things, or whether you put up a brick wall against it, things are going to change around you. So you may as well allow change to happen inside of you and embrace and embody that change so you can live the life you want to live. Because living your life for other people is not the way to live life. Lit is not the way to make yourself happy. And it's not really the way to make other people happy because as I said, they're never going to be satisfied. So it's okay to change your mind. Just because you wanted something yesterday doesn't mean you have to want the same thing today. Just because you started to learn one thing, if that's not serving you, go ahead and learn something else. No, I used to run quite a bit and I haven't run for probably a year now. And I don't feel bad for that. Maybe I run again one day. Maybe I'll get back into It. But I just changed my mind, decided, actually, I don't want to do this anymore. I want to do something else. And so I do. I do other things. And I want you to think about that when you're going through your transitions in life, your changes, when there's things coming up where you're like, I've been doing this a long time. I should just keep doing it. No, you shouldn't. If you want to keep doing it, if you feel that it serves you, then fine. But if it doesn't, why are you forcing yourself to continue? Why are you not allowing yourself to explore other avenues, to look at other options, to try other things? Because that's what life's about. It's about experiencing all that life has to offer. It's not about picking one lane when you're 18 and staying in that lane for the rest of your life, unless that lane makes you fidget ridiculously happy and you could never imagine doing anything else. And for some people, that's true. But for most, I would say it's not. Because as humans, we are complex beings. We have. We are multi passionate, we have lots of interests, and we have lots of things we want to do. And there's things which you would love to do, which you probably don't even know about yet, which you haven't even experienced, you don't even know exists. It's like when I left Big Law, I didn't know that I would end up doing some of the things that I'm doing now. Never thought I would be a coach. Didn't know that that was an option. Never thought I'd be teaching at a university, which I've just started doing. I haven't spoken about that. Maybe I'll speak about that on a later episode. Never thought I'd be creating to the extent that I am with writing the book, the posts, this podcast, all of these things I never felt were possible for me, and some I didn't even know were in my world, in my sphere. But I only found out they were by allowing myself to grow, allowing myself to maintain that open mind and to experience and to try different things. And in doing so, I found things that I loved. And I also found things that weren't really serving me and I could let them go, but I tried them and I knew what was out there. So that's what I want to leave you with this week. It's okay to change your mind. So whenever you're thinking of changing your mind from doing something, don't let anyone else talk you out of it. There's a reason why that shift is coming to you. So explore that. Take it as far as you need to take it and see what's really eating at you. And if it's a case of meh, I'm just not really feeling today because I'm a bit bored, that's one thing. But if in your very soul and your very gut, you know it isn't serving you, you know it's not a path you want to go down, then don't be afraid to change, to try something new, to figure out a new path. This is all about finding clarity, finding what it is that lights you up. And when you do that, that's what's going to help you move from that life of lethargy towards living life.

Thanks for tuning in. But before you go, the weight of limiting beliefs is heavy. It literally weighs you down and keeps you stuck in that life of lethargy.

I know.

It's why I stayed in Big Law for so long, and it's why so many of my clients don't believe they can do the things that they want to do. But what causes those limiting beliefs? It's a lack of confidence. Lack of confidence in the belief that you can do the things that you want to do. And I got something for that. It's my confidence journal. It's six journal prompts that I created that I've used to help me get from where I am to where I want to be. To help to give me the belief to do the things that seem outside of my control, outside of. Of what I can do. If this sounds like you, you need to get your hands on the journal.

Best thing about it, it's free.

All you have to do is head to iamryanspence.com, hit the button for confidence journal and get your copy today. It's going to help you start to reframe your thoughts and get you thinking about what you can do instead of focusing on what you can't do and shed that load of limiting beliefs that.

You don't need to be carrying.

See you again next week. And until that time, stop living a life of lethargy and start living life lit.