It's on you. No one can save you

If you want to change your life, it's on you to do that. If you want to ditch that life of lethargy, it's on you to do that. If you want to live a life that's lit, it's on you to do that. Waiting for things to happen isn't going to make them happen. You're gifting to the Circle three Projects Foreign welcome to the Triple CE Project, the podcast that helps you gain clarity, boost confidence, build courage so you can live lifeless. I'm your host, Ryan Spence, the big lore dropout, life coach, author, speaker, lover of hoodies, hip hop and big hairy, audacious goals. If you're tired of living the life you think you should want and ready to start living the life you do want, this podcast will help you get from where you are to where you really want to be. So now with friends, I invite you to grab a drink, take a seat, and allow me to guide you towards living a life that's lit. What's up? Welcome to episode 12 of the Triple C Project. Flying through these episodes here, some news. This week I booked a studio to record the audiobook of my book, the Triple C Method, which is quite exciting because I only really got into audiobooks about a year, year and a half ago. I was always one of those book snobs who was like, I have to have a hard copy book at a push. I get it on the Kindle so it's easy to travel with. But about a year and a half ago I started to, I thought, let me give Audible Audible another go. And I really started to enjoy it and I loved it. And what it did for me actually was not only was I able to listen to more books, get through more books, but I found that it helped me to sort of discern the books that I wanted to buy. Because look, there were some books which you can listen to and are highly entertaining, but you don't necessarily need to have a hard copy of. But for me, there are other books where I want to get in that book. I want to be writing all over it, highlighting in places and so listening to it on Audible first helps me make that decision. And there'd be a number of books where I've listened to it on Audible. Love the book and immediately gone and ordered the hard copy on Amazon or bought it from the store and gone through it again so I can highlight and tab and you know, do all the all the geeky things that I like to do to kind of help me on my own personal development quest in my own personal development or just to help me get some additional ideas for things that I want to say or to look at things differently. So the audiobook is coming. So those of you who have been asking the question, of which there have been a few, there you go, it's coming. I'll be recording it in June and hoping to get that out in July of this year. So watch this space if you're not already. Follow me on Instagram @iam underscore Ryan Spence or perhaps the best thing to do is to get on the email list, go to iamryspence.com and join the lit list and that way you'll be kept in the loop. And speaking of being on the lit list, you can just go and join if you you have a burning desire to get all the news as well. And trust me, it's great. I get an email out to you every week. But if you head to im Ryan Spence.com you can actually download the Confidence Journal, which would also get you on the list. The Confidence Journal is a great resource. I know I created it, but fuck being humble, it's a great resource. I know because people have told me and because I've used it myself. It's six journal prompts that I use when I want to get in the game, when I want to level up my confidence to do things like launch this podcast or like write the book. You know, when you're giving yourself that negative self talk and you kind of really need to clear out that mind trash and get your mind clear and ready to face forward, to create the vision of the life that you want to do, the thing you really want to do. The Confidence Journal will help you do that. I am Ryan Spence dot com. Click the button. Get the free Confidence Journal. That would also get you onto the lit list where you'll get the emails every week about things we talk about on the podcast, about things that are coming up that week, and answering questions that people have sent to me in the DMs or elsewhere just to kind of help you level up and start to get you on the path towards living a life that's lit. Cool. That's the announcements for this week. So let's get to the episode. So I posted a reel on Instagram this week and it was posing a fundamental truth. And what I said was that once you accept this fundamental truth, it will set you free. And the truth that I stated was no one's coming to save you. But I want to expand on that a little bit in this episode and Say that actually no one can truly save you but you. It's all on you. If you want to change your life, it's on you to do that. If you want to ditch that life of lethargy, it's on you to do that. If you want to live a life that's lit, it's on you to do that. Waiting for things to happen isn't going to make them happen. And I say that from experience, but let me go back a little bit. I want to use a story to help to illustrate this. So when I was a kid, probably about five or six, I think I was learning to swim with my dad in the local swimming pool. And I don't know, I. I didn't love swimming, but it's a life skill, right? It's something that you need to be able to do. It could save your life one day. And I remember the usual process of being in the pool and my dad holding me and sort of telling me the technique. And then I remember distinctly, and I don't know why we remember these things from our childhood, but I remember distinctly him just sort of letting me go to do it on my own. And I was terrified, and I was flapping around and splashing and fearing that I was going to drown. And in the end he did. He came and he kind of grabbed hold of me and he saved me. Now when I say, no one's coming to truly save you, you may be thinking, but your dad just saved you. So what are you talking about? But here's what I mean. In that situation, he helped me. He stopped me from drowning, but he wasn't always going to be there. And if I hadn't taken proactive steps throughout the years to learn to swim, then when I found myself in similar situations in the future, I couldn't be certain that I would survive. I couldn't be certain that there would be people around to save me. And I would always find myself in these situations where I wasn't quite confident enough, I wasn't quite certain enough of my ability to be able to get myself out of the water, to get myself away from drowning. So I had to actually learn to swim. Because someone can save you in the moment. Someone can save me in the moment, but they can't save me from everything. They can't save me forever. You need to learn, just like I learned to swim. You need to learn the tools and the strategies to save yourself, to change your habits, to get you on the path towards a life that's lit, towards living the life that it is that you want another story. If you've listened to this podcast or read the book, you'll know that I signed up for a boxing match, and it was amazing and challenging and frightening in equal measure. But in starting to train for that fight, I knew that I needed to get to a point where I could go three rounds without getting knocked out, without hurting myself, without making fool of myself. Now, I could have just said that in my head and continued to go through the motions all the way up to fight night. But when I'm in the ring against my opponent, there's no one to save me. It's just me and the other fighter. So I had to take steps to help myself to get myself into a position where I had the tools, the strategies, the knowledge that I needed to be able to get in that ring and do what it was that I needed to do. I hired a trainer. I followed the routines. I ate the right food, I quit alcohol. I did all of these things proactively to get me to the position that I needed to get to. I didn't wait for somebody to come and tell me what to do. I didn't wait for my trainer to say, you need to eat this and you need to not drink that. You need to not do that. I had dialogue with them, I spoke to them, but I initiated those conversations and I asked them the questions to get the answers that I needed to be able to do what it was that I needed to do. And finally, because, you know, I like to do things in threes, just a third analogy, leaving big law. It was on me to do what I needed to do to escape the situation that I was in. My problem was that for around five years, I didn't really do anything apart from theorize and worry and allow negative thoughts and stories without any evidence to keep me where I was. But it wasn't until I took proactive steps to change my situation that things started to change. It wasn't until I challenged myself to sign up for this boxing match that I shook myself out of the mental and physical funk that I was in. It wasn't until I went on the yoga retreat and took that time out for myself to really reconnect with who I was and start to ask myself the difficult questions that I started to gain some clarity as to who I was and where I wanted to be. It wasn't until I signed up for a yoga teacher training that I figured out that that was what I wanted to do at that moment in order to help people who had been in the situation that I had been in to not feel that way. It wasn't until I did the inner work, it wasn't until I took proactive steps to recognize where I was, wasn't where I wanted to be, but then go the further step of taking action to actually do something to change that situation that things started to change. So this is what I mean when I say it's on you. When I say that no one is coming to save you. When I say that no one can truly save you but you. People can be around for you and they can help you, but they can only do that if they know what's going on. And if you ask for help, and this is another important point, because when I say it's on you, I don't mean you have to do everything yourself. I don't mean that you as an individual have to forge this path alone. But what I mean is that you have to proactively go out and ask for help. You have to seek out help. You have to look for the resources that can help you. You have to find the books and actually read the books that are going to give you the information that you need. You have to listen to the speakers who are saying the things that resonate with you and then act upon the things that they're saying that resonated with you. You have to implement the tools and the strategies that have been delivered to you. We can all sit around in a life of lethargy and wait for things to get better. We can wait for that recruiter to call with the perfect job. We can wait for our salary to increase so we can buy more. More stuff that we feel we need to buy to make us feel better about the lives that we're living. We can wait for our lottery numbers to come up so we can give up the job and sail off into the sunset. This is all passive. And being passive isn't going to help you. It isn't going to change your life. It isn't going to change it in the way that you want it to change. It isn't going to help you achieve the things that you want to achieve. So what I want to leave you with this week is just to say it's on you. The familiar saying goes, nothing changes if nothing changes. And it's true. You have to decide, this is where things change. This is where I no longer live the life that I'm living because I don't want to be here. This isn't what I want. I want something more. You don't have to know what more looks like. But you have to decide that you want it and then take steps to go and find out what that can be for you. You have to proactively take action. You have to do the work, you have to ask for help. You have to do whatever you feel you need to do in that moment to allow you to move from that life of lethargy to a life that led. That's all for this week. If this episode resonated with you and you're thinking, I do want more, I don't believe that I can do something else, but I really do want to see if that's possible. Go check out the book the Triple C Method. Gain clarity, Boost confidence, Build courage so you can live life lit that's available on Amazon. If you go back to I should have this in front of me, but I don't. But one of the earlier episodes, there is actually an episode where I read an extract from the introduction so you can find out a bit more what that's all about and how that lands for you. But the book is available now, paper book or ebook, so go ahead and check that out at Amazon or your local independent bookstore, wherever you get your books, and start the process. Start the process of leaving that life of lethargy, of leaving the life you don't want, the life where you don't want to be. And start the process of getting towards the life you do want to be, of getting towards the vision of the life you want, of living a life that's lit. Thanks for tuning in to the Triple CE project. If you like the show, don't keep it to yourself. Go ahead, tell a friend and tell me too by leaving a review to get more tips, tools, strategies to help you get from where you are to where you want to be. Head to iamrinespence.com and download my free Confidence Journal. Don't forget to follow me on Instagram. I'm amrynespence and you'll be the first to know about the release of my upcoming book, Triple C Magic. But for now, the only thing that I have left to say is stop living a life of lethargy and start living life lit.