Let Go Of The Old So The New Can Grow

And I wanted to share that because I think often we can hold on to the way that we have done things before, the way that things have happened before. And sometimes that can be helpful. If a process works, you want to follow the same process and almost like a blueprint. But I think we also have to be prepared to be flexible, to be adaptable, and to throw the blueprint out if it's not working for us in the stage of life that we're at now. You're listening to the Circle C Project. Welcome to the Triple CE Project, the podcast that helps you gain clarity, boost confidence, build courage so you can live lifeless. I'm your host, Ryan Spence, the big law dropout, life coach, author, speaker, lover of hoodies, hip hop and big hairy, audacious goals. If you're tired of living the life you think you should want and ready to start living the life you want, this podcast will help you get from where you are to where you really want to be. So now with friends, I invite you to grab a drink, take a seat, and allow me to guide you towards living a life that's lit. Hey. Hey. Welcome to episode 86 of the Triple C Project. Before I start, an apology, kind of. So if you are one of the people that subscribed or that downloads an episode of the show as soon as it's available, because I see it in stats. First of all, thank you. And second of all, I want to apologize for the. The fuck up on last week's episode, which kicked in around the 18 minute mark. No idea how it happened, but certainly I was listening to back to the episode once it was live. Just, I just like to jump through, but it's just to kind of see how it sounds to you, the listener. And, and I was looking at the transcript at the same time and I noticed there was like this clash of words. Like that doesn't look right. And then I listened to that particular section and yeah, realized that there was a track. I won't bore you with the technical details, but there was a little bit of a bit of music on a particular track that I don't use that was still there and had to be muted and was therefore clashing with what was there. So, yeah, I've caught it now. So if you haven't already listened to the episode and you listen to it now, that fuck up won't be there. But if you're not a bird, thank you for being nerdy bird. And yeah, you saw me modeling the fact that it doesn't always have to be perfect and you can always go back and rectify things at a later date. Anyway, a little bit of humor there. There was a slight palette when I thought that it was a bigger issue than it actually was. And I was going to have to re record the entire episode even though it was already live and I'd moved on to other things. But there we go. Just gotta roll with the punches. And when you're doing any, you're going to make mistakes even when it's not new. I mean, I've been doing this for what, 86 episodes now. You know, I still learn. You're still evolving. Things can still happen and, you know, just got to roll with it and sometimes just got to throw your hands up and say, yeah, that happened. Nobody died. Let's move on. Okay? No more dwelling on my, on my mistakes. Next thing, book news, second book news. So you, as I mentioned a couple of times, I'm writing book number two. First draft went off to my developmental editor slash book coach a couple of weeks ago. And I got, I got her first round of feedback and editorial analysis back last weekend, which was encouraging. But I also know I have got a shit ton of work still to do on the draft and I've set myself a pretty, pretty tight, tight deadline and that has unfortunately coincided with just tons of other things happening all across the place as well, as well as probably the most intense time of my house renovation. So, yeah, there's a lot going on right now. And one of the things I want to share with you in case it helps you, is that when I started this book, I was looking at the process I follow to write the first book, the triple C method, because that process worked. I did it, I got the book out and there's lessons that I learned. I was going to tweak it a little bit, but try the same thing. But I've had to let go. I've had to let go of a couple of things. I've had to let go of following the same process because I'm in a different space now, different things are happening and that process isn't always possible. So I've had to basically do what I encourage my clients to do is kind of snatch time, where I can make time to write every day but be okay with if it isn't the same time, but just commit to getting words down on a page or on a screen and building the book up that way. And I also had to let go of what the book is going to look and read like. I mean, the first book is. It's Relatively traditional in that it's quite a linear book. You know, I mean, there are three distinct sections, but the stories flow and they link to kind of make the whole book. And I was kind of almost forcing myself into a box by trying to follow the same process. And eventually I had to kind of take a step back, which I did for a good couple of weeks, and kind of speak to myself and they. And sort of meditate on it. And what I came to was that I just need to let the book evolve. How? Well, however it's going to evolve, it doesn't have to look a certain way or read a certain way. All it has to do is convey the messages that I believe are going to be useful to the readers that I would like to read this book, the readers that I believe will benefit from what I'm sharing in this book. And when I let go, it was like this weight came upon me. And I wanted to share that because I think often we can hold on to the way that we have done things before, the way that things have happened before. And sometimes that can be helpful if a process worked. You want to follow the same process and almost like a blueprint. But I think we also have to be prepared to be flexible, to be adaptable, and to throw the blueprint out if it's not working for us in the stage of life that we're at now, in the stage of experience that we are now. Because as we grow, as we evolve, things will hit differently. We'll. We're different people. We want to do things differently. And for me, part of growth is allowing ourselves, yourself, to recognize that and to just let things go when they no longer serve you. That could kind of be a podcast in itself, couldn't it, really? But I want you to think about where is it that you are holding on to things? Where is it that you are gripping to an old way of doing things, where you are gripping to your old self, the person that you were, the person that did things in a particular way. And how is that serving you or not? And what if you were to, as scary as it might be, to walk away from something that you know has worked in the past, and it feels quite comfortable for you, but how would it be if you just let it go? Just recognize that it's no longer serving you? If you thanked the past, you. If you thanked the old process, that old blueprint for helping you get through a particular situation and get you to where you are now and recognize the fact that now is the time to let that go because we do that all through life. We do that as a child. Right. You know, my kids started off watching certain things on tv. I mean, my eldest was really into Fireman Sam for a while, was into Paw Patrol and some other things as well, and no longer watches those. He's moved on to other things. And there's been a whole process of moving through and letting older things go. And sometimes that process happens really quickly. Like what he liked to watch last month, he no longer liked to watch this month. What he liked to eat last week, he no longer likes to eat this week, which is quite frustrating as a parent. But it's this process of evolution as he grows, as he experiences more, as he figures out more about himself and about the world around him and about what he likes, what he doesn't like, what makes him happy now as opposed to what made him happy then. He lets the old things go and doesn't even give it a second thought. But as we get older, we seem to believe that we have to do things the way they've always been done, either the way that we personally have always done them, or the way that we are told by the world, by society, by the conditioning that things are supposed to be done. And it's kind of like I think about Big Law when I talk about this, the. The actual model, the. The culture of big law. There's a lot of talk about innovation in, in law. And there are a lot of law firms and lawyers that are innovative, that are trying new things, that are looking at new ways of billing, of. New ways of. Of organizing, of drafting, of creating. But within big law, just like within any large corporation, things move slowly and there can be a reticence towards change because there are people who are invested in maintaining the status quo, in keeping things the way that they always were because it benefits them. And often that can be people at the top. If they've made money in a particular way, they've billed in a particular way, they used to billable hours, for example. They're used to making employees, making lawyers come into the office and show their face. This whole culture of presenteeism. They're used to billing for every second of every day. I mean, rather than negotiating fees or thinking about creative ways of bidding clients, they're used to working with the same people doing the same thing, as opposed to broadening the net and trying to work with clients who maybe aren't some of the big FTSE 100 names that they used to working with, but who by any accounts are still doing interesting things. But there is this desire, this need to keep things the same way. And this is one of the things that I found frustrating because for me, a lot of the things that were the way, the way that things were done were just, just didn't work for me. Just didn't make sense. In the billable hour is a big one. It's one that's talked about a lot. And the idea that you have to bill a certain number of hours and that kind of demonstrates your value in its entirety, your worth to, to the firm is ludicrous because as you get more experience, you do work quicker. And by doing work quicker, you bill fewer hours. But instead of being rewarded for your efficiency and your experience, you're penalized for billing fewer hours or you're just given more work, which just takes you out, which is beyond the capacity of, of any, that any human can do without it being detrimental to their well being. But that's the model, right? And in order for them to maintain these fancy officers and all of the other trappings of being in a large international firm, they kind of have to maintain that model. But it doesn't have to be that way. And you only have to go on LinkedIn and see a ton of lawyers and law firms that are doing things differently, that are doing things in a way that is dynamic, that is exciting, and in a way that's attracting lawyers who want to enjoy their legal career and want to do interesting work, but without the, the demands and the culture of the big law environment. And now when I talk about this and talk about big law, this, this can relate to any, any industry. I just talk from the experience that I have. But I know from clients that I've worked with that any big corporation can suffer from the same issues and that can lead you to feel stuck, to feel trapped. So if that is you and you are feeling that, then this is where you have to question, do I want to still do things the way that I've been doing them? It's got me to this point, but at this point I'm miserable. It's not fulfilling. This just isn't working for me. And when I look ahead to the next two years, five years, 10 years, the career that's ahead just doesn't appeal to me in the slightest. So is it now time to flip the script, to try something different, to discard the blueprint that I followed, to get off the train that I was on, as I talk about in my book, and get on a different train, create a different blueprint, try something new, go in a different direction and just get curious about that and be honest about how you feel. And by no means do I encourage you to just burn things down or discard your plan for the sake of it. This isn't what this is about. Sometimes it can seem exciting just to do that and see what happens. But this is more about when you just know that it isn't working. It just feels like you're walking through mud. Because things can be difficult and still be exciting. But when things are difficult and feel like they're really dragging you down, then it's the time to have that honest conversation with yourself about whether you need to change course and let the old ways die and let go of a little piece of the old you so you can create space for the you that you are becoming. To allow that growth and the evolution to really seep in to your pores without fighting against it, without that resistance of the person that you were before you encountered this growth. So that's what I wanted to talk about today. That's what I wanted to share with you today. And it's actually. I actually had three things to think about today. And that was the one. As soon as I sat down, I was suddenly like, no, that. That's the thing that I, that I need to share because it's something that I see so, so often, particularly in the clients that I work with. They'll want to reach back and recreate what they once had. And they're not the same person that they once were. They've sometimes they've grown and they've evolved within themselves. Sometimes they've completely moved countries, relocated, they're in a completely different environment. Sometimes they may be they were in a new relationship. Maybe their, their kids are now in a different phase of life. There are so many things that make them not the person they were, but they still want to hold on to the person they were and to the way that they did things before. And when you kind of give that permission, not that you need it, but when they have that permission to let that go, to allow themselves to walk out of that mental cell of self limitation and look around and see what else might be out there for them, other opportunities or other possibilities, once the initial fear and trepidation subsides a little, there's this sense of joy, there's this lightness in their step, there's this excitement at this new process of self discovery and this new development of self awareness. It's a beautiful thing to see and it's one of the many reasons why I love the work that I do. Okay, that's it for me for this week or from me for this week, should I say? And look, this work, this process of working through the old you, the old way of doing things and letting that go, letting that die, it's work that I do with my clients. It's work that I do on myself. I actually have a tattoo based on a quote from Rumi which is be like a tree and let the dead leaves drop. And that's kind of what I'm talking about here. It's letting the things that no longer serve you, the things that are no longer moving you forward and no longer lighting you up and no longer taking you to where it is that you want to be, allowing them to go, thanking them for being there, for getting you this far, and then allowing them to go so that new leaves can grow, so that you can grow, new branches can grow. So if this is something which you're intrigued about, you feel could be helpful to you, if you feeling that no matter what happens, you still are just feeling stuck in this rut and you can't get out of it, then let's have a chat. You can drop me a line. Hey@iamrianspence.com or head to iamrinespence.com coaching and book yourself a consultation call. Let's sit down, let's have a chat, let's see where you are and let's see how we can work together, how I can help you to get out of that rut, to step out of that mental cell of self limitation so you can gain that clarity, that confidence and that courage to move from a life of lethargy towards a life that's lit. And if you're cool, if you feel that everything's great for you right now, that's amazing. But tell a friend. Think about a friend of yours that is always complaining to you about their job sucks, their life sucks, they're really unhappy, they don't want to be doing what they're doing anymore. Share this episode with them and maybe they can take away some of the insights that I share here based on my experience and the experience of some of my clients of letting those dead leaves drop so new leaves can grow. Thanks as always for listening in. If you'd like to support the show, you can head to Coffee. That's ko-fi.com Ryan Spence Buy me a coffee. Very much appreciated. Or you can head to rate this podcast.com/C and leave a review. Leave a review and a review, whatever you feel. However the show hits you leave a line so that people can see it too and figure out if this is the show for them. This is a show that can help them wherever they are in their life. Links are all in the show description because I am liable to screw them up when I read them out. So go ahead to the to the description in whatever app you're listening to the show in and hit the links there and check it out. And thank you as always for being here. Until next week, stop living a life of lethargy. Start living life thanks for tuning in to the Triple C project. In the spirit of the Triple C, here's three things that you can do to support the show. Head to ratethispodcast.comccc or over to your favourite podcast podcast app and leave a review. Reviews really help people checking out shows to see what they can expect and how this show can help them. Second thing you can do Share Share this episode Share a previous episode with a friend, Someone who you feel could benefit from what I'm throwing down on this here show. And number three, head to iamryspence.com get on the main list. I'll be sharing news about the show, news about what I'm up to, my new book Start writing soon. So to be the first to be in the know, you need to get yourself on the list. Really appreciate you being here. And until next week, stop living a life of lethargy. Start living life lit.