Life's About The Process: So Don't Wait Until You've Achieved The Goal To Live Yours

Don't try to skip to what you think will be the good part, because you can't skip to the good part. You're listening to the Circle C Project. Welcome to the Triple CE Project, the podcast that helps you gain clarity, boost confidence, build courage so you can live lifeless. I'm your host, Ryan Spence, the big law dropout, life coach, author, speaker, lover of hoodies, hip hop and big hairy, audacious goals. If you're tired of living the life you think you should want and ready to start living the life you do want, this podcast will help you get from where you are to where you really want to be. Sit now with friends, I invite you to grab a drink, take a seat, and allow me to guide you towards living a life that's lit. Thank you, thank you. Far too kind. Far too kind. Thank you. Yes, that's me giving myself a round of applause. Sounds a bit weird, right? But I don't care, because today we are celebrating two milestone events. That's right, two. So today, the day of release of this episode of the Triple C project, it is episode 100. We're here. We are here. Into triple figures. And in addition to that, today also, fortuitously, as if the universe made this happen, marks two years to the day that my book, the Triple C Method, was released. So again, celebration times. Yeah, okay, I'll stop that now. But I'm really proud of it. I always encourage my clients to celebrate their wins, to keep a win journal, to build up that evidence that they can do hard things, they can get through certain circumstances. And I often have to remind myself to. To follow my own advice. So that's what I'm doing right here, celebrating. So if you want to celebrate with me, or if you just want to congratulate me, you can send me an email or you can DM me for my address, for cards and gifts and the like, you know, if you're so inclined. But yeah, 100 episodes and two year anniversary of a book release, which is great. But I'm not going to make this episode or about me because this podcast isn't all about me. I mean, it's. It's all about you. That's why I created this podcast in the first place. To share tips and tools and strategies that I've learned in many ways, the hard way, through my own experiences, to help you live life lit in a way that isn't as arduous as the path that I took. And so here's the tip I want to share with you on this celebratory week. And the tip is this, don't try to skip to what you think will be the good part, because you can't skip to the good part. What do I mean? Well, if you read my email last week, if you're on my email list, you'll have an inkling of that. If you're not, you need to get on the email list, head to iamrianspence.com or just send me a DM saying put me on the list with your email address and I will add you to it. My Monday musings. But yeah, if you weren't on that list, then here's what I mean, what I'm talking about, not trying to skip to the good part. It's inspired by a recent conversation with a client, but it's a conversation that I've had multiple times with multiple clients. And it's something that I found myself doing as well before I set off on this quest. And sometimes I still find myself doing it as well. The conversation started like this or the. The opening line that led to the inspiration for this episode started like this. In other areas of their life, particularly in regards to family and relationships and their own personal time as well, because they never took the time to look up and enjoy the present. They were so focus. They had this tunnel vision about this thing in the distant future that they wanted to obtain and doing everything that they could to go ahead and get that. Now, in some ways, that's quite commendable, right? You have a goal, you have a milestone, you have something you want to achieve and you commit everything you can to it. But here's where it can go wrong. If you are not taking the time to enjoy the process, you're not going to enjoy achieving the thing when you get there. Now, this thing is a common theme, as I said before, it's a common theme amongst ambitious and successful clients that I work with. And it's common because they've been conditioned to keep pushing to the next rung of the quote, unquote success ladder. And success in this scenario means the next promotion, the next deal, the next bonus, all of those things. Your promise that when you achieve that next thing, you'll be happy, you'll be set. And so from a young age, we are conditioned to get onto that train. The grades at school, this university, we get into, the grades at university, the grad scheme, you get onto the company, you end up getting your permanent position with, how quickly you rise up the ladder, how you get the next promotion, all of that stuff is supposed to make you happy. But each time you get there, you barely have any time before you're on to the next thing. And the thing about this conditioning, the thing about these things that people tell you is it's a lie. It's a big fat lie. Because none of that stuff makes you happy. The external isn't external stuff that you accumulate, the title that you have, the status that you hold, the office that you sit in, none of that is ultimately what's going to make you happy. But you're constantly running after it in the hope that it will. And that constant running is what makes you feel overwhelmed, what makes you exhausted, and paradoxically makes you even more unhappy than you were to start out with. Because you're never taking a break. You never feel you can take your foot off the gas. You never feel you can take a moment to enjoy what you have. To celebrate the wins that you have achieved, to celebrate, celebrate how far you've come. Because the next goal, the next milestone, is always further down the road and you're conditioned to always be striving after it. So what's the answer to this? How do you stop yourself from constantly living in this perpetual loop of overwhelm? How do you stop yourself always looking to the next thing rather than enjoying the current thing, rather than being still being in the present, enjoying what you have and how far you've come? So one thing that I say to my yoga students is when you're moving from pose to pose, you have their transition in between the way that you move your arm, you, where you step and place your foot, which muscles you engage. And I want you to pay attention to that. Don't aimlessly move through the transition to get to the pose. And I say that because in many ways, arguably the transition is more important than the pose. That's where your presence, that's where your intention really needs to be focused, because it's where you are less likely to focus it because you're so focused on getting to that point. Pose. But the pose isn't the destination. That's not the point of yoga. The poses are not the point. The point of yoga is to guide you back to yourself. It's a process of self inquiry. And the poses, the movement, the asana is only one limb of eight that makes up this thing called yoga. The poses are simply a vehicle, simply a process to guide you back to you. Now, it doesn't matter whether you practice yoga or not, because the same principle applies. The same principles that apply on the mat also apply off the mat. Success isn't about chasing the next goal, just like yoga isn't about chasing the next pose. Life isn't about chasing the next goal. That's not living, that's running. That's constantly moving and keeping yourself distracted and never really focusing, enjoying being present in the moment. None of that is the point. The chasing, the goal, the vision that you have for yourself, you should have that. And it's fantastic to have that purpose and that mission to get after. I encourage that. I feel it's vitally important to feel like you're living. It's the difference between simply surviving and thriving. But ultimately, it isn't about that goal. It isn't about that thing, that milestone. It's all about who you become while you're trying to achieve that goal, is who you become in that process. What happens to you? What shifts for you? Do you become more resilient because you've had to overcome these obstacles along the way? Is that a learning that you take away? Do you become better at giving yourself some grace and some compassion when you make mistakes? Because you will make mistakes along the way, but how you treat yourself when you've made them is going to shape who you are and how you deal with mistakes the next time and how open you are to making mistakes the next time. Do you become better at asking for support instead of just bullishly trying to push through on your own? The whole nature of our conditioning is very individualist, when actually, as humans, we thrive in community. So building our squad, which I talked about on a previous episode, and having that support network, if going through the process teaches you the importance of that, helps you to find who that squad is for you, that's what's important. Whether you achieve that goal you were going for or not. It's about who you become, about what you learn. It's all about guiding yourself back to you. Because you can't live lit unless you're living authentically, unless you're connected with your inner being, with your inner soul, with your inner wisdom. Because these lessons, these lessons you learn will guide you, as I say, a little closer back to yourself. And it's in finding yourself that true happiness and fulfillment is found. So here's what I invite you to do the next time that you are feeling overwhelmed or exhausted or frustrated because you just can't nail the thing you're trying to nail. You can't get to the place you're you're trying to get to you. That goal just seems so elusive. That prize you're trying to win in life I just want you to remember this episode and remind yourself to pause, be still. You know I'm big on stillness, right? Helping you find that clarity. But be still. And then in that stillness, I want you to ask yourself, how can I be present in the process? What's happening here? What's going on? How do I feel? This is feeling good to me. Is this serving me? Am I challenging myself? What am I learning here about myself, about the process? How can I be present in the process? And when you've taken that pause and asked yourself that question, I'd like you to slow it down a little and stop trying to skip ahead to the end to what you think is going to be the good part, to what you think is going to be the time when you are going to be happy, you're going to be fulfilled, you're going to feel accomplished, you're going to feel that joy, because that's not really what matters, and that's not living. That's putting life on hold. But we can't put life on hold because we never know what's going to happen each day. We've got to live for the moment that we're in. We've got to enjoy those moments that we are in. The tattoo I got recently is the stoic, say momentum or I, memento viveri. I probably pronounced that wrong. And I got that to remind me that as it's. As the phrase says, remember, you're going to die, so remember to live. And you can't live if you're constantly putting your life on hold, waiting for a particular moment in time to live. So how can I be present in the process? Stop trying to skip ahead to what you think is the good part, because the good part is now. The good part is in this moment, you know? And if you put your life on hold and wait until you've skipped ahead, you're going to miss out on all of that joy and goodness along the way. This is episode 100 of the Triple C project. I couldn't have got to episode 100 without starting episode one. And if I started episode one and was waiting to get to 100, in order to really look up and take in what I was learning and enjoy the process, I'd have missed so much along the way. I've missed the good and the bad, the ups and the downs, but all of those have helped shape who I am today. And as long as I continue to do this, it will continue to shape me, because I'm always here in the moment, thinking about what Do I want to say? Who do I want to say to? What's the learning that I want people to take away? How can this help you, the listener? And what can I learn about myself each time I do this, about the way I put the show together, the way I deliver it, the content that I make around it. And there's lots of learnings that I will take away, that I still take away. But I wouldn't have those if I was looking forward to the next milestone, to the 50th episode, to the hundred, to the 200, to the 300th. As I said previously, when I started this podcast back in 2022, question I asked myself was, how can this be easy and how can this be fun? And it was very much a process of taking one show at a time, one week at a time, and by slowing it down, which goes counter to what my natural inclination is, it's allowed me to really listen to what I want to do, to what's needed to really be in the moment when I'm preparing the show, recording the show. And that's what I invite you to do too, whatever it is that you're striving for. Same thing with the book. Two years anniversary for the book. But I couldn't write a book thinking in two years, I can't wait for the two year anniversary. That's not going to fly. Being in the moment, being in the process of writing that book has shaped me, it's guided me closer back to myself. But I have to be had to be in that process. I couldn't be trying to skip ahead to getting the first draft finish, to getting the book out, to hitting certain milestones with it. I start to show up each day, be in that process, be in that moment and take what I could from it. So that's what I invite you to do. Whether you're trying to get the next promotion, whether you're trying to get a completely different but better job for you, whether you're trying to start that business, learn that skill, write that book, start that podcast, even. Whatever your goal or goals are, the masters you're trying to hit, have them look to them, meditate on them, focus on them, but don't allow yourself to be so caught up in them that you miss what's going on right in front of you, right here, right now. You miss those beautiful moments where you could find happiness, you could find joy, where you could feel relaxed and calm, where you didn't have to have that heaviness of overwhelm from this constant Running and chasing. So that's what I'd like to leave you with this week. How's life for you? Are you enjoying the ride that you're on or are you waiting for the ride to stop before you enjoy it? Because waiting is no good. We never know when the ride's going to stop, as morbid as that may sound. So we've got to enjoy the here and now. We can make our plans for the future. And that's all great and fantastic and I urge it, I encourage it, I encourage you to have that mission, that thing that gets you up and excited in the morning. But it's the steps that you take towards that mission each day that change you. It's that process that guides you back to yourself. And it's in those moments that you really see what it's like to live life lit. Thank you, thank you. Thank you for being here with me, for being here for 100 episodes for you. Die Hard. Really do appreciate it. To sit and listen to me talk a hundred times over 100 weeks, no mean feat, but I'm hope, I'm sure that you've taken valuable insights and tips away from this. Otherwise why would you be here, right? And with that, tell me, tell me what you have taken away. Tell me why it is that you listen either by leaving a review or by sending me a message. Email hey at I am Ryan Spence. Or hit me on the Instagram at I am underscore Ryan Spence or over on LinkedIn, search for Ryan Spence and tell me, I'd love to hear it helps me know, has me know kind of what's landing for you, maybe what issues topics you'd like me to go deeper on. And also by leaving the reviews, it just helps people who are just browsing idly on their podcast app to see, hey, this podcast looks like it could be for me based upon what these people are saying. Let me check it out. So if you do that for me, that would be. Or that is going to be the best present you can give me for reaching 100 episodes. And as for the book tomorrow. So the day, what day is it today? I'm recording this on 26th of April to the day it's released on the 27th of April is indie bookshop Day. So go order my book from an indie shop, an indie bookshop and if you already have a copy, get one for a friend or someone who you know could, could really benefit from the learnings and the tools and the strategies that are in the triple C method. You can head to my website iamrinespence.com book get your copy there. As I say, go order from your favorite independent bookstore or head to Libro fm. Download the app and you can get the audiobook there on the app too. So like I say, no gifts really required. I was joking before, but a review, a book purchase, a message to say what you take away or all of that will be much appreciated. And as always, I thank you for being here. Until next week, stop living a life of lethargy. Start living life thanks for tuning in to the Triple C project. In the spirit of the Triple C, there's three things that you can do to support the show. Head to ratethispodcast.com Triple C, or over to your favorite podcast app and leave a review. Reviews really help people checking out shows to see what they can expect and how this show can help them. Second thing you can do Share Share this episode Share a previous episode with a friend, Someone who you feel could benefit from what I'm throwing down on this here show. And number three head to iamrisebence.com get on the main list. I'll be sharing news about the show, news about what I'm up to. My new book start writing soon. So to be the first to be in the know, you need to get yourself on the list. Really appreciate you being here. And until next week, stop living a life of lethargy. Start living life lit.