Look Back To Move Forward: The Power of Reflection and Celebration

That evidence, that body of work will fuel us going forward. And the more that we go through this process, the more that the wins, the more that the things that we've done well, where we've excelled, where we've really exceeded our own expectations, that will then start to become the prevailing narrative and will overtake the negative stories that we're telling ourselves. You're listening to the Circle CE Project.

Welcome to the Triple CE Project, the podcast that helps you gain clarity, boost confidence, build courage so you can live lifeless. I'm your host, Ryan Spence, the big lore dropout, life coach, author, speaker, lover of hoodies, hip hop and big, hairy, audacious goals. If you're tired of living the life you think you should want and ready to start living living the life you do want, this podcast will help you get from where you are to where you really want to be. So now with friends, I invite you to grab a drink, take a seat, and allow me to guide you towards living a life that's lit. Hey.

Hey, how you doing? Welcome to episode 45 of the Triple C Project with me, Ryan Spence, life coach and author of the Triple C method. Gain clarity, boost confidence, and build courage so you can live life lit. And here we are, the last episode of 2022. Wow. End of the year already. And I wanted to take this time, as you know, we do this at the end of the year to reflect. Last week I talked about five mistakes that I felt that I made this year. And so this year I wanted to talk about a little bit more about some of the things that have gone well, but more in the context that can help you, because we need to celebrate our wins more. And here's why. As I was scribbling down my notes on a piece of paper for today's episode, a quote came to mind. And it was a quote from that famous philosopher, Ferris Bueller. If you've seen the film Ferris Bueller's Day off, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. And you probably know the quote I'm going to pull out here. But the quote that immediately sprang to mind and I wanted to share with you, whether you are aware of it or not, is this. Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. And I felt it was really apt for what I wanted to talk about today, which is the concept, as I said, of celebrating your wins. Because celebrating your wins isn't something that I always did, and I know from conversations that I've had it's something that people struggle with, other people struggle with too. But if we can celebrate our wins, it can really help us in moving forward. So, for example, when I was in big law, I did a lot of good work, if I do say so myself. But even if I got good feedback from a client, I got thanks from a client, got an email from a client, I always found it very hard to sit and celebrate that because I was always looking to the next thing. I was either worried about what was going to come next, or I was feverishly working on the next milestone, the next goal. You know, I mean, as an associate, I was looking ahead to what was I going to earn the following year? What work was I going to do? What would be the grade on my performance review? When would I make senior associate? It's. I mean, when would I make counsel? I mean, I was kind of looking forward to all of these milestones, all of these things, because that's the trajectory that I was on and that's what I felt that I should be doing. But in doing that, I wasn't taking the time to enjoy the moment, to be present, to celebrate the things that had gone well. And what I've realized is that by looking back, that can help you to move forward. Because looking back gives you data to support the fact that you can do hard things. It shows you what you can accomplish when you're intentional about achieving a particular goal, doing a particular thing. And let's be frank here, it can.

Show you what a badass you actually are.

Because we spend so much time focusing on the things that we think, think that we can't do, focusing on the things that have gone wrong or where we failed or where we've made mistakes, that that becomes a prevailing narrative. And it hinders us in our progress of moving forward because we don't actually want to take that next step because we're scared that we might fail. We don't want to push forward towards that goal because in our mind, we're never going to make that happen because we just don't have what it takes. But if we take time periodically to pause and take a breath and look back and reflect on what we've achieved and celebrate our wins, that evidence, that body of work will fuel us going forward. And the more that we go through this process, the more that the wins, the more that the things that we've done well, where we've excelled, where we've really exceeded our own expectations, that will then start to become the prevailing narrative and will overtake the negative stories that we're telling ourselves. So for me, this year, I want to reflect on a few wins, just to show you that I'm going through the same process as you. I carried that process of always running onto the next thing from the big. From Big Law into my current life and the things that I do now and. But the thing is, I'm aware of it now, and it's something that I've been consciously working on, particularly over the last year, to take a bit more time to look at how far I've come and not finish one thing and instantly jump to the next thing without taking the time to reflect. So some of my wins for this year have been this writing and releasing my book, the Triple C Method. Writing a book is something that a lot of people say they would like to do but don't get around to. I was one of those people, you know, it sounds great to think, yeah, have a book in my hand, have a book on the shelf, be a bestseller. But when you've actually got to sit down and do it, it can seem like such a long, arduous process. And you can also feel like you have nothing to say, like no one's going to read it. And all of this negativity can stop you from actually doing the thing you want to do. So a win for me is actually breaking through that and not only getting the book finished, but actually putting it out into the world. Because I'm not going to lie, there was a lot of fear involved in that, because writing it is one thing, but once you start to put your story out there for everyone to see, particularly in something that's pretty permanent like a book, it's not like a social media post that can disappear or you can delete. It's out there. You know, there's. You're kind of bearing your soul. So one win for me is that I did it. I put it out. And I'm really pleased with how the book is being received. But just from a personal aspect, the win was doing it, doing the work and getting the book out there. Second win for me was speaking more. I wanted to speak this year. I wanted to kind of be out there and speak, speaking more publicly and sharing the message that I share with you here on this podcast. And I got the chance to do that. I got the chance to speak at two conferences this year. And I was really pleased because I learned a lot about myself in doing it and actually preparing the speech. Actually think about what I was going to say and actually getting up there and sharing the message. And it's that whole thing of doing things to challenge yourself, but doing them from a place of not your own ego, but from a place of you have something to share that you feel is going to help other people, and this is the way it needs to get out there. And that was how I looked at speaking. I was someone who hated public speaking. I think if you've read my book, you'll hear me talk a little about it. In the book, I just hated putting myself out there in that way. But because I knew that what I had to say was resonating with people, people like you that listen to this podcast. And because I knew that the message was important, I felt that it was imperative upon me to get that message out in any way that I can say more people could hear it. And so that's helped. That's what helped me to push past the fear of putting myself out there, of getting up and speaking to a load of people who I didn't know, and to just fucking do it. So that's a win for me and I'm looking forward to doing more of that in 2023. Third win of the year, on a more personal note, was buying a house. It's the first house that we, my wife and I, we. We've owned. We've always, you know, we. We lived in London where no one, no one owns a house in London unless you're ridiculously wealthy. And then we moved to Singapore where we rented out there. And so this is the. Our first, I guess, family home. And it's a bit of an achievement. I mean, it's a money pit. Anyone who's owned a house, particularly if you own a house in the UK and own an older house, will know that shit just goes wrong all the time. And before, where you could just call a landlord to come and fix it, now you're the one that's got to do it or pay someone to do it. So it's been. It's been great, but it's been a challenge and it's been a learning curve. But it was great to kind of have our first Christmas in our own house. And good for the kids. And yeah, it is. It is an achievement. So again, that's a win. And I think that sometimes when we think about wins and goals, we can focus so much on career or on business, but every day we have a whole life to live, and our life encompasses so many different components. And so we can look at our wins in all of those areas. That's what creates the rounded person, who we are. That's what makes us unique. So looking at that whole package, that whole picture is, I think, really important. When we go through these reflections and when we look at the wins that we've had, we don't dismiss the ones that, for example, aren't making us money. Because that's not what it's all about. Although, don't get me wrong, I do love making money, as I'm sure you do too.

Hey, I'm interrupting myself to give you this short message now. If you're listening to this pod, you're likely looking to change your life.

Here's the thing.

Transformation doesn't happen by doing what you've always done. It happens when you change your thoughts.

About what's possible for you.

My book, the Triple C Method, helps you do that by giving you the tools and strategies to to stop living a life of lethargy and start living life lit, described as a transformational toolkit, and the book I wish I'd had when I decided to leave corporate the Triple C Method will change how you see yourself and how you live your life. Available now as paperback, ebook and audiobook, read by yours truly. Head to iamrinespence.com book or over to your favorite bookseller to grab your copy today so you can stop living a life of lethargy. Start living life knit.

Another win for me this year is just getting to do the work that I do. I've been fortunate to serve eight clients one on one this year, many more through the content that I share and conversations that I've had and podcasts that I've been on. But to be able to sort of sit each week for an hour one on one with awesome humans who have just got so much to offer the world and have so much potential beyond what they initially imagined when we first started working together is. Is amazing. And it's reinforced for me why I do the work that I do as a coach. And again, I think that before I would have been very much like work with one client and the next, be thinking, well, where's the next client coming from? And just be focused on the. I guess the admin on the sort of the run and mill stuff of running a business and of being a coach. But by reflecting, I can really take in the, I don't know, take in the things that clients are saying about how the work that we've done together has impacted their life and has changed them, has changed the trajectory, has changed how they feel, has changed how they think, has changed how they do things and react to things. And for me, there's a lot of power in that. And I'm also humbled by just the trust that people have put in me to allow me to guide them along that journey and to do this work. And so that's a huge, huge win. And it's really. I don't know if validators is the right word, but it's kind of really shown to me that this is the. This is the calling, this is what I'm supposed to be doing. I really feel like what I'm doing is aligned with my values, is aligned with my purpose. And so that's. That's been a great win and something which I will definitely be carrying on into the new year and hopefully expanding the number of humans that I get to serve. And another win, and this will be the last one. Here is releasing this podcast, getting to share this message with you each and every week. As you know, if you listen to the first episode, this is, I guess, a rebirth from the Yoga Den podcast, which went on a pretty long hiatus kind of unintentionally, but it just felt right to bring it back with a combination of the book coming out and the clarity of message of what I wanted to share. And I just felt that this was going to be a good way to get this message out to more people, whether you've read the book or not. And I really enjoyed doing it, but I've also enjoyed the response that I've had from doing it. Sometimes it can very much feel like you're speaking into the void. I'm here in my amazing office talking to a microphone with no one around me. But I am envisaging you right now, listening to this, whether on your commute, on your walk, on your run. And this really helped me to just keep putting this out, not missing a week. And I'm really looking forward to expanding on this in 2023, on doing more with the Pod, on getting more into the groove of, of what I'm doing and sharing more of the content that you want to hear, helping you do more of the things that you want to do through sharing the experiences that I have and also the experiences of some amazing guests that will be joining me for some shows in the new year, too. So they're just some of the wins that I've been reflecting on for 2022 and thinking about how I can expand upon those in 2023. But I think the biggest win for me is not really a thing. It's more just a lesson and more of a Being of a knowing. And the thing that I've learned is that, and I've said this before, but I think it's really cemented itself for me over 2022, is that in doing the things that I've just spoken about and many, many other things, it hasn't really been about achieving the thing that's been great and the end product has been amazing, and they've all contributed towards the mission, towards the life that I'm creating for myself and my family. But what's really been the biggest win, what's really been the biggest takeaway for me, the biggest insight, is what I've learned in the process of going after these things, of doing these things, of making these things happen. What I've learned about the process itself, the individual processes and the mechanicals of getting a book out or putting a podcast together, whatever. But more importantly, what I've learned about myself, what I've learned about my capabilities, just what I've learned about what I can do if I'm intentional about doing it. Because here's the thing. Living life lit, living the life that you want, living your dream life, it doesn't happen by accident. It happens by intention. It happens because you're intentional on what it is that you're trying to achieve. And you do the things that you need to do to get there. And that's really what I've been doing. And what I'll continue to do is just doing something every day to get me to where it is I want to get to. Keeping, keeping that eye on the prize, for want of a better term, because it's very easy to fall back into our old habits. I see this all the time when challenges and obstacles come up, that we fall back into our old way of doing things. We allow the negativity, the things that haven't gone wrong, to become the pervading narrative. And that's why this, These reflections, these. This celebration of wins shouldn't be just something you do at the end of each year. It's got to be something that you do regularly, whether that's daily, weekly, monthly. You've got to keep filling yourself up with that warm glow of success, of winning, to allow you to fuel you when those obstacles and those challenges arrive, so that you don't fall back into old habits, so that you don't revert to the prevailing negative narrative. So this is my invitation to you. In fact, this is my. This is my challenge to you as we approach the end of one year and move into another. Celebrate your wins, get yourself into a habit of regular reflection. For me, I like to keep a win journal and sit down at the end of each week. It used to be each month, but I think in 2023, I'm going to do it each week and just think, just ask myself what went well this week? What were my wins this week? However small, Just get them down because you can then keep going back and looking at that when you need that additional inspiration, when you kind of need that push, when you need to feel that you can do hard things, you can figure things out. Looking at what you've already done is going to be the foundation upon what upon which you can build that. So that's all I had for you this week as we end 2022. Take this with you into the new year, celebrate your wins, reflect on what you've done and use that to help you to move forward. And as always, I would love to help you along with that. If you need some additional support, find me at im ryan spence.com coaching find out what coaching with me looks like, how it can help you get from where you are to where it is that you want to be, and how in that process, we'll get you to develop the habits and the tools and the strategies. They get you to be the person you want to become. They get you to live the life that is that you want. They get you to stop settling for what you think you should start getting after what it is that you want. Signing off right here. Happy New Year. If you're listening to this in 2022, if you listen to this in the middle of 2023, that's gonna sound a little bit weird. But hey, it's there, it's done. And that's the mood that I'm feeling in. Go forth, have a great new year, have a great day, have a great week, whatever you're doing. As you're listening to this podcast, and as always, stop living lethargy.

Start living life Lit. Thanks for tuning in, but before you go, the weight of limiting beliefs is heavy. It literally weighs you down and keeps you stuck in that life of lethargy.

I know.

It's why I stayed in Big Law for so long, and it's why so many of my clients don't believe they can do the things that they want to do.

But what causes those limiting beliefs?

It's a lack of confidence. Lack of confidence in the belief that you can do the things that you want to do. And I've got something for that. It's my confidence journal. It's six journal prompts that I created that I've used to help me get from where I am to where I want to be. To help to give me the belief to do the things that seem outside of my control, outside of of what I can do. If this sounds like you, you need to get your hands on the journal. Best thing about it, it's free. All you have to do is head to Iamry Spence.com hit the button for Confidence Journal and get your copy today. It's going to help you start to reframe your thoughts and get you thinking about what you can do instead of focusing on what you can't do. Do and shed that load of limiting beliefs that you don't need to be carrying. See you again next week. And until that time, stop living a life of lethargy and start living life lit.