Shock of the new!

But here's the thing that's boring. It's boring doing the same thing all the time. Sometimes you've just got to shock yourself. Just shock yourself into doing something new. Try something, challenge yourself. You're listening to the Circle CE Project. Welcome to the Triple CE Project, the podcast that helps you gain clarity, boost confidence, build courage so you can live lifeless. I'm your host, Ryan Spence, the big lore dropout, life coach, author, speaker, lover of hoodies, hip hop and big hairy, audacious goals. If you're tired of living the life you think you should want and ready to start living the life you do want, this podcast will help you get from where you are to where you really want to be. Sit now with friends, I invite you to grab a drink, take a seat, and allow me to guide you towards living a life that's lit. Hello, what's up? Welcome to episode 16 of the Triple C project. And as has become customary on the show, I don't know how long it takes for something to become accustomed, but I'm going to say it's customary. I'm going to kick off with a review from my book, the Triple C Method. Gain clarity, boost confidence, build courage so you can live life. Lit. Before I read the review. Well, something interesting happened this week and somebody just mentioned with an eye roll on a call that I was in for something else. And it wasn't particularly mean or malicious, but it's just the way that they said it and that I'm always talking about my book on social media and what was interesting about that for me is not what the person said but my reaction to it or non reaction. You see, this is the sort of thing which would have, going back a couple of years, stopped me in my tracks and made me start having this conversation with myself saying, see, this is why you, you can't do this and this is why you shouldn't do this. Etc, Etc, you know, really playing things down. And I would have allowed that comment to, to dim my light to. I would have stopped sharing, I would have stopped talking, I would have kind of retreated into my shell. But the beautiful thing about clarity, the beautiful thing about growth and about clarity is that when you're clear as to why you're doing something, as I've said before, it's very easy to make decisions and to understand why you're doing it and to keep going. And the thing is, I wrote the book not as a vanity project because if it was, I would have just paid some ghostwriter to write it for me. I wrote it because it's the book that I wish that I had had when I was struggling in big law, in that mental quicksand and not really knowing how to get out of it, not knowing how to escape the situation that I was in. And I wrote the book to help other people like me to start to have these conversations, yes, with me as a coach would be great. But even if they just had them with themselves, to start questioning things that they had been told, the way that they had been living and the things that they thought they were capable of doing, so there's a very clear mission, a very clear purpose, and a very clear reason for writing this book. And because I wrote the book for those reasons, I feel I have to. It's my duty to tell people about it. And not everyone will care. Not everyone will read it. And that's fine. That's not who the book is for. The book is for the people who hear the story, who hear what I'm saying and instantly think I can relate to that. That's where I am, that's where I've been, and want to hear how I pulled myself out of it and see what tips and insights and takeaways they can get from it, too. So all of this is to say I'm not going to stop talking about the book because the book helps people. And they know the book helps people because you, the readers, tell me people send you messages, the reviews are written. So the more that I talk about it, the more people will hear it, the more people will be helped. So what's the lesson in there for you? The lesson there for you is, again, clarity. Know why you're doing something, because it's very easy then to stick to what it is that you're doing, because you have a very clear vision ahead of you. And no matter what anyone else says, no matter about anyone else's opinion, that's not going to knock you off your stride because you're very strong and solid in your reasons for doing the things that it is that you do. Okay, slightly different intro this week because that's not actually the topic of this week's podcast. But before I get to that, let me read out the review which precipitated this whole. Was not really a rant. It's more of a. I don't know, more of a commentary. Let's call it that. Okay, so this week's review of the Triple C method is from Nera, who is a life coach. And the extract I'm going to read is this Neera says I would describe this as the kick in the ass you need to make you start thinking about am I really living the life I want to live? And I think that last point is key. Well, actually all of it is, but the kick in the ass. Sometimes we need that kick in the ass to get us moving, something to just shock us into action and start asking yourself, am I really living the life I want to live? Because we can sit in that mundanity, sit in that comfort, and we know it isn't really, but we're too scared to ask ourselves the question. So if my book, as Neera says it did for her, can give you that loving kick to shock you into action, to shock you into asking yourself the questions and taking the actions that you haven't been taking so far or haven't been asking so far, then I'm happy that's what it is meant to do. So thank you for that. And if you haven't yet got your copy of the Triple C Method, what are you waiting for? If you listen to this podcast, you like this podcast, you follow me on social media, you're going to want to read the book. So head over to Amazon or go to your favorite independent bookseller and ask them to order it in for you and pick it up. Trust me, this book will. It has all my insights and you learn a lot more about me, where I'm coming from, my background, why I say the things that I say and do the things that I do. And I think actually no, I know that if you've been in big law, if you're you've been in a stressful corporate environment, you're going to see some parallels with your own life and be able to take some of the insights and also work through some of the exercises that are in there to help you move from a life of lethargy to a life that slip. And don't forget to download the workbook as well as a link in the book to get your free workbook which will allow you to work through the exercises so that the book doesn't become one of those things which you read, you think is good. You get inspired by and then you put on your shelf and don't look at again. But it's one where you're then inspired to go ahead and take the action. And I've made it very easy for you to then take that action. So the Triple C Method Gain clarity, boost confidence, build courage so you can live life Lit Amazon, Waterstones, Barnes and Noble, your favorite independent bookseller. Wherever you Pick at books, Go ahead and grab yourself a copy. Yeah, paper book and ebook. And I'll be recording the audiobook soon, but more about that in the coming weeks. Okay, this week's episode, I want to talk about doing new things, maintaining an open mind and maybe doing things that you haven't done before, haven't thought about doing before. And this is inspired by something that happened to me this week. So the kids were away, which was fantastic. They're away at my in laws for a few days. And so I had some time, you know, at home, time that she didn't usually have. And I kind of wanted to go to the gym that I hadn't been to for, for a while. A class I hadn't been to for a good while just because it hadn't really worked with the schedule. And that would normally be boxing. If you've read the book or you've heard me talk about my backstory, you know that I boxed for quite a while about a year or two when I was back in Singapore. And I really love boxing and it's something that just really helps to mentally and physically get me energized and kind of get me into a zone. But the place where I go to, to box here in Sheffield, it's called Box Bar. And they do boxing and they also do bar. And I'd never been to a bar class. I heard a bar, but the boxing class, the timing didn't work because on that particular day, that Saturday, I was going to have to go and pick up my delightful children for my in laws, which was a six hour round trip. So I need to get to the earliest class that morning. And it wasn't boxing, it was bar. So I thought about sacking it off, just not doing anything. But you know, I figured, look, I could use this kid free morning to sleep in, but then I'd feel a bit rubbish in myself later. And actually the person that I am doesn't do that. The person that I am gets up and gets their ass in gear and gets moving. So that's what I did. Jumped to my car and headed to the gym to start a bar class. Now I didn't really know what to expect. There were basically three things I knew about bar. It was something that I knew was derived from ballet. It had some of the ballet moves and that sort of thing in. And you said a ballet bar. I knew that or in all the pictures that I'd seen, it was mainly done by women. But then, I mean, I did yoga years ago when I was often the only man in the class. So that didn't really faze me. And I also sort of knew from, from, from anecdotes that I heard that it's harder than it looks. If you don't know what bar is, you can, you can go Google it. Bar, B A R R E, not the bar you go to drink at. And generally you'll get images of women, kind of ballet dancer looking types, doing sort of stretches, holding onto a bar. That's that sort of thing. And whilst again, sometimes people can say this about yoga, it might look quite gentle, I had heard that it's actually quite, quite hardcore. It's a lot of strength, endurance, coordination incorporated in all of that movement. So having done a bar class, and I'll talk a little bit about that in a second, what I now know about a barre class is history, right, from ballet, it's mainly done by women. And here it's harder than it looks. So effectively the same three things, but I loved it. And here's the thing, trying something new really expands your mind, expands your horizons and it allows you to grow. No matter what the outcome of trying that new thing, you're going to get something out of it. Now, I think as high performing, successful, ambitious people that you are, we want to be good at stuff, right? And when we find something that we're good at, I mean generally our jobs, our careers, we want to stay doing that thing because it gives us that comfort, it allows us to know what we're doing, it allows us to be seen in a particular way, allows us to have a certain identity and a certain status and to deviate from that, to try something new. Risk, failure. Eris is falling off that pedestal that we may have put ourselves on or that other people have put us on, being the person who just gets shit done, the person who can just cruise through life and with ease and who can really just smash everything that's putting in front of them. But here's the thing, that's boring. It's boring doing the same thing all the time. Sometimes you've just got to shock yourself, just shock yourself into doing something new. Try something, challenge yourself. Now for me, with bar, yes, boxing is something that I'm comfortable with. I still find it challenging, but I generally know what I'm doing. With bar, I had no clue. And I was literally led by the instructor. And the instructor was great. She was, she was really good. And it turned out that my yoga background did help with some of the moves. Funny point. She actually said to me at one point, that my downward dog was great. She really complimented me on my downward dog, which, if you don't know, is a. Is a pose in yoga. And there was a part of me that just wanted to bask in the glory that I was. I was this novice at bar and being confidential, my downward dog, and really take that with me, but values. And one of my values is integrity. So I did fess up. I told her that I'm actually a yoga teacher and that I. I teach this. So, yeah, I thanked her for her compliment, but I had to at least let her know that, yeah, this is kind of what I do. I couldn't just take. Take all the glory. Anyway, I digress. Back to bar. But yeah, the workout was challenging and it was energizing, but I loved it. And I'm going again next week. And here's the thing. If I hadn't just taken that chance to try something new, and if I had stuck to what I know, I never would have figured that out. I would have always been looking at the outside, at this thing, thinking that either that's not for me or it's too hard and I can't do it when the fact is can do it and you can figure anything out right, if you want to badly enough. And this whole thing of trying something new, it kind of reminds me of when I first got introduced to coaching. I, like many people, had heard about coaching for years, and it was, to me, something that senior executives got from their companies to help them progress to the next level into leadership position positions. So it was never really something for me, and it was never really something that I explored as possible for me or that could help me. And looking back, if I had done that sooner, maybe I would have saved myself five years of pain, of spinning out, of not really believing that I could do whatever it was that I wanted to do. Because once I actually did start coaching, to hire a coach, I quickly figured out that, damn, this is amazing. This really is changing my thought process. It's really changing the vision that I see for myself. It's just changing what I think is possible. But I had to shock myself into that. I had to take that leap, do something which I never done before, allow myself to sit in a room with another person and be vulnerable, be completely open, put on no mask, no as, no graces. And I had to experience that. And in experiencing that, I gained so much. So that's really the point of this episode. I want you to think about once you finish listening. When was the last time you tried something new. And if you can't think of anything, think of the question, when was the last time you had the opportunity to try something new? And why did you not take up that opportunity? What was the resistance? Where were the roadblocks? And I want you to explore that within yourself. Because the more that we get entrenched in our current position, the more that we stay fixed in our comfort zone, the less that we grow and the deeper we sink into a life of lethargy. Because we're meant to grow. We are meant to expand. This isn't about hustle and being the most productive you can be, etc. Etc. It's about you self actualizing. It's about you maximizing the joy, the pleasure, the litness that you get out of your life. And you can only do that if you are growing. And you can only grow if you try and new things, if you maintain an open mind, if you expand your horizons. Because you never know what you might find out about yourself. And you never know what you might enjoy if you try something new, if you just take that little step into the unknown. So that's it for me this week. I guess if I was to leave you with one message, it would be this. This week, try something new. Look at something you haven't done before. Or if somebody presents you with an opportunity that you're not quite sure about but might seem a little bit interesting. Just try it, see what happens. And whether you enjoy it or not, make a note of what you learned about yourself in that situation. Maybe you learned that you can do hard things. Maybe you learned that you're more open minded than you thought you were. Maybe you learned that you like something new. There could be a whole host of things, but this is how we begin to find out who we really are. By trying things that challenge us, that maybe scare us a little bit, and keeping record of the outcome. And if, like me, you've heard about this whole world of coaching and think that it's not something that can help you, it's not something that's really for you, I'd like to dispel that myth. And here's how you can find out with basically only 60 minutes of your time. Book a consultation call, you'll get on a call with me and we'll just work through some things, help you to start to look at things a little bit differently. And you'll get to experience a little bit, a little taster of what coaching is and what coaching can do for you. And it's an hour, it's no obligation, but you will think differently and this could be your trying something new. So go ahead to iamryanspence.com click work with me and book yourself a consultation call. There'll be a few questions so I can just get a sense as to where you are and where I might be able to help you. And then we'll get on the call and we'll have a good chat and we'll see if we're a good fit and you can decide whether this is something that can work for you, that can help you get from your life of lethargy towards living a life that's lit. Until next week. Catch you later. Thanks for tuning in to the Triple CE project. If you like the show, don't keep it to yourself. Go ahead, tell a friend and tell me too by leaving a review. To get more tips, tools, strategies to help you get from where you are to where you want to be. Head to iamrinespence.com and download my free Confidence Journal. Don't forget to follow me on Instagram. I'm amrynespence and you'll be the first to know about the release of my upcoming book Triple C Method. But for now, only thing that I have left to say it Stop living a life of lethargy and start living life lit.