Small Steps Build Big Dreams

Whatever it is you're trying to do and whatever you've been putting off because it just seems too daunting, it seems too overwhelming. I'd like you to ask yourself this question. What's the next smallest step that you can take to make that happen? And I want it to be really, really fucking small. You're listening to the Triple C Project. Welcome to the Triple C, the podcast that helps you gain clarity, boost confidence, build courage so you can live life lit. I'm your host, Ryan Spence, the big lore dropout, life coach, author, speaker, lover of hoodies, hip hop and big hairy, audacious goals. If you're tired of living the life you think you should want and ready to start living the life you do want, this podcast will help you get from where you are to where you really want to be. So now with friends, I invite you to grab a drink, take a seat, allow me to guide you towards living a life that's lit. What's up? Welcome to episode 62 of the Triple C Project. This week is the one year anniversary of the release of my book, the Triple C Method, which I'm very, very pleased about. And so I thought this would be a good opportunity to talk about the subject of overwhelm. Because overwhelm is something that many of my clients have when they come to me. And yes, there's overwhelm in terms of the day to day struggles of life. But what I'm going to talk about is the overwhelm in relation to the vision of the life that you want to live, the big dream that you have, the big goal that you have now. Think about a goal, a dream, something that you've wanted to do for a while, something that you've always wanted to achieve, strive for. And ask yourself, are you actually on the path towards achieving that, towards getting that. And if you're not, that's fine, no judgment. But then I want you to ask yourself what has stopped you from getting on that path? So I want to share my story in relation to the book. There are many I could say I could share, but I feel the book is a good place to share because as I say, it's one year anniversary and this is very fresh in my mind. So writing a book is something that has been on my mind for literally years. It's not always been like a burning desire, but it's a thought that would pop into my head every now and again or I loved writing at school, I was a good writer, I loved creating stories, and I just like the idea of Having a book. And as I went through my time in big law, particularly once I started to realize that I really don't want to be here, the idea of being a writer started to become a little bit stronger. It started to just appear a little more often in my mind. I remember sometimes staring out of the window of my office in, you know, in between calls or in between reviewing documents when you've got a particularly late night and you're waiting for something to happen. And sometimes my mind would just sort of drift to how my life could be different to what I was living at that moment in time. And often that difference would involve me writing. It would involve me sitting on this beautiful balcony with the sun shining down in this apartment that overlooked the beach or the sea somewhere, didn't know exactly where, but it didn't matter. And I would just be writing with cups of coffee by me and, you know, getting my thoughts out onto the screen. And the beauty of just creating on a daily basis, it's just amazing to me. But it's something that I never thought I would do. Like to sit down and write a whole book just seems like such a mammoth task, right? A bit like your goal. It probably just seems so big. It seems idyllic, but it seems so big. Like, how the hell do you even start? How do you even get there? What happens when you start to fill your head with those thoughts of how do I even get there? It brings on this overwhelm, this fear. And all that does is keep you stuck. It stops you in your tracks and you think, maybe I'll do it tomorrow, maybe I'll try it when I have more time, maybe I'll try it next year. There's always a reason to delay. And the thing is that time when you're delaying four will never come because you're always going to keep pushing it out like I did. You just always think that, well, it's just not, now's not the right time for me. Or even worse than that, you just think that's just not something that I can really do. As strong as that dream is, as much as I would like to, to do it. And so that just leads to more stress in your day to day life because you're in this thing, which you probably don't want to do, at least not the way you're doing it. You have this dream which sounds amazing to you, but you're, you're no closer to achieving it, to getting it. You're not even trying to see if it's possible, doing, taking the steps to at least put yourself in a position for the opportunity to present itself. This is all me. So if you're listening to this and nodding along and thinking, wow, he's really calling me out here, I'm not. This is. This is me. So if this is you too, we're in good company. And I want to share this with you so that you know that it doesn't always have to be that way. There is a way for that to change, and there is a way to cut through that overwhelm. So what happened for me is that when I left Big Law, I felt that this creativity that had been stifled for so long, I thought had disappeared, start to come back. And I just started writing. I couldn't stop writing. And I was writing poems, I was writing articles about current affairs in the past them on Medium and on my social media. And I just kind of fell back in love with the act of writing and I kind of started doodling around with writing a book. But again, there was never any real sort of conviction to it, commitment to it. I still didn't really believe that it was something that I could do. It still seemed like too big of an ask for someone like me with no writing experience, no contacts in the publishing world, no nothing to actually turn around and write a book and get it out into the world. So what changed? Well, as I continued on my personal development quest, what changed for me was stopping looking at this huge, massive goal as something that I had to go and get done all in one go. Because that was the problem. If you sit down to a banquet dinner, you're not going to eat the whole banquet in one go. It's impossible. And if you thought that you had to, you probably would never sit down to eat. But what you do is you go and you sit down and you start, you take a little bit of that and you try that, and then you try something else, and then you try something else and you slowly work your way through the things that you like on the banquet until you finish. You've had a great meal and you're satisfied and you walk away. And so I thought to myself, why, why don't I treat goal like this? Why am I looking at this huge, massive thing as an obstacle that I will never achieve, as something that I will never overcome? Because that's obviously not helping. It's held me back for years. What if I just thought about what I could do right now? And that got me to asking myself the question, okay, if I want to write a book, what is it? That I need to do. What's the next step, the next smallest step that I need to take? So, first of all, I decided, okay, I'm going to write this book. That was the first thing I made that commitment to myself, that I was going to write this book and I was going to get it done before the end of the year. And then that got revised to, I'm going to get the first draft done in at least 60 days. But I made the decision to do it, and I gave myself a time frame in which to get a certain amount of it done. But that, that was one step, just making the decision. The next step was asking myself, okay, well, when can I. When, when, when will I write? And with everything that I had going on, I knew that the best time for me to write was going to be in the morning before the kids got up, before the day started. So I figured out what I could realistically do, what time I could realistically get up. And then I figured out, okay, how much time will I give myself? And I thought, well, there's about an hour, hour and a half window here, depending on what time I get up. So I'll just commit to sitting in my chair. And if words come, words come. And if words don't come, words don't come. But that's my commitment to myself. Monday to Friday, I will sit in that chair. And I just kept coming up with, okay, so after sitting in the chair, what's the next smallest step? And then, what's the next smallest step? And it just started, this momentum going, because the smallest step that I could do was, okay, fine, I can do that. It wasn't daunting, but that smallest step was taking me a step closer towards the bigger thing that I was trying to achieve. And then before I knew it, a few weeks had gone by and I had thousands of words on a page. I was in a routine where I just got up and I started writing. It was no longer a question. It becomes so ingrained within me, within my routine, that that's just what I did. I got up, I sat in the chair, I got up, I meditated, I sat in the chair and I started to write. And when the timer went, or when the kids got up, I stopped and I do it and did it again the next day. And then the next day. And before I knew it, I had a first draft of a book. And yes, you've probably heard me tell the story before that. I went away. I thought I was really happy, and my first draft was awful. And I got really down about it, but that's kind of by the by because you can't get to the first draft without sitting down and writing, and you can't get to the final draft without getting to the first draft. So there are all of these steps in between. And if you think about all of these steps together, they all jumble into one. Create this mass cloud of overwhelm and you never ever get get started. So reason for sharing this story with you today is partly because I'm so pleased about how far I've come in terms of having this idea for years of creating a book and actually getting a book out, and now having it be the one year anniversary of the book. But also to inspire you and to give you something to think about in terms of your own big goal. Whether you want to write a book, whether you're trying to get that promotion, whether you're trying to change your career and go off and start that business, whether you're trying to go out and open your own bakery, whatever it is you're trying to do and whatever you've been putting off, because it just seems too daunting, it seems too overwhelming. I'd like you to ask yourself this question. What's the next smallest step that you can take to make that happen? And I want it to be really, really fucking small. So if, like me, you want to write a book, start with scheduling it, start with when can I write? And just start blocking that time out in the calendar. So every time you go to your calendar, you see that's my writing time. That might be your first step. Then your next step might be to get up and sit your ass in the chair for that period of time that you've blocked out. And maybe initially it's just to sit, just to sit, sit at the desk, get the feel, get it in the space that you want so you feel comfortable to go in and sit there and write. And then the next step might be to sit down and just write. Maybe you commit to writing 10 words that day, 50 words that day, 100 words that day. Because when you're in the zone, you may find that you write more, but you want the idea is to make each step as easy as possible. A no brainer, if you will. If you want to start your own business again, maybe thinking about the whole going and incorporating it and branding and logos and revenue and all of that is all too much. I mean, just the thought of it starts to get your heart rate up, right? So maybe your first step is, what do I want to do, do I want to sell something? Do I want to offer a service? Who do I want to offer it to? Maybe it's just creating time in your calendar for the next few days or weeks to just sit for 10, 15 minutes and just brainstorm ideas. Maybe that's fun for you, maybe that's something that's easy to do. And from that brainstorming, you start to generate more ideas, which creates this momentum which starts to make you feel, wow, I'm excited about this. What can I do next? How can I get on that next step in this path, on this journey to where I want to get to? So what I'd like to leave you with is just this question here. When you are feeling that overwhelm at something that you want to achieve, something big, something you know that excites you, that makes you happy. But as soon as you start to think about making it real, the overwhelm hits you, it paralyzes you and you can't move forward. Ask yourself the question, what's the next smallest step that I can take to get to where I want to get to make it small. Even if you think that's just so insignificant, then you're probably on the right track. That's how small it needs to be. It needs to be so small that you just think, well, what's the point of even doing that? Because then you're going to do it. If you only give yourself five minutes a day to work on your thing, you're going to do five minutes. And the likelihood is that you're probably going to do more than five minutes on most days. Because once you've got into those focused five minutes, you're going to feel this momentum, you're going to start to propel yourself forward, and before you know it, 15 minutes, 30 minutes, an hour would have gone by and you'll have got done far more than you'd plan to do. But if you plan to sit down for an hour, you're going to think, I don't have an hour today, I'm just not going to do it. And therefore, it will never get done. Consistency beats intensity. As I've said before, you can go back and find that episode as well. So what's the next smallest step that you can take to make this happen? And this all forms the. This is the basis of courage stacking that I talk about in my book of breaking things down. So the fear that will hold you back is effectively countered by the fact that you're doing the smallest thing you can do now. And in doing that smallest thing and keep doing small things as you go along. You look back and you built this body of evidence of all the things that you've done, which helps to propel you forward to do the next things that you need to do. So thank you for being here. I want to leave you with that today. What's the next smallest step that you can take? And let me know, let me know what your big goal, dream, vision is that's been keeping you stuck, that's been causing you or fulfilling you with overwhelm. And let me know if this process works for you. Maybe let me know what your next two or three steps are, what you think that they could be. And I can let you know, is that really small enough? Because maybe you can make them even smaller to make it even easier on yourself. But I'd love to know. I'd love to know how this helps you. I'd love to know how you're getting on in terms of getting after what your goals are. And I'd love to know what your goals are. I'm always intrigued about people's goals and dreams and visions because I feel that the more that people speak them out into existence, the more likely they are to become a reality. Because dreams, I mean dreams can't survive in the darkness. They need to be out into the world. They need to be given the oxygen to breathe. And you need to be able to see them, feel them, touch them, speak about them in order to believe that they're possible and make them happen. Thanks for being here and thanks for checking out the book if you have already and leaving a review. I truly appreciate it. And if you haven't, go ahead. It's the triple C method. Get it. Wherever you get your books, obviously Amazon is the place where most people go, but all your local independent bookshops, you can grab a copy as well. Paperback, ebook, and also on audiobook as well. If you'd like to hear me speak it out to you. It's the book that's been referred to as a total transformational toolkit. So if you're trying to transform your life and don't know where to start, you you're not too sure. You're lacking that belief in yourself. This book is going to change that for you. It's going to give you the belief that you can go ahead and make change happen. Make that transformation you're trying to make in your life. As always, thanks for listening. Until next week, stop living a life of lethargy and start living life. Thanks for tuning in. But before you go, the weight of limiting beliefs, it's heavy. It literally weighs you down and keeps you stuck in that life of lethargy. I know. It's why I stayed in Big Law for so long. And it's why so many of my clients don't believe they can do the things that they want to do. But what causes those limiting beliefs? It's a lack of confidence. Lack of confidence in the belief that you can do the things that you want to do. And I've got something for that. It's my confidence journal. It's six journal prompts that I created that I've used to help me get from where I am to where I want to be, to help to give me the belief to do the things that seem outside of my control, outside of what I can do. If this sounds like you, you need to get your hands on the journal. Best thing about it, it's free. All you have to do is head to iamryanspence.com, hit the button for confidence journal and get your copy today. It's going to help you start to reframe your thoughts and get you thinking about what you can do instead of focusing on what you can't do and shed that load of limiting beliefs that you don't need to be carrying. See you again next week. And until that time, stop living a life of lethargy and start living life lit.