Stop Waiting For The Perfect Plan: Start With What You Want and Trust You'll Figure Out How To Get It

What I want to encourage you to do is that if you're serious about change and if there is something that you really want, is to just start. You're listening to the Circle CE Project.

Welcome to the Triple CE Project, the podcast that helps you gain clarity, boost confidence, build courage so you can live lifeless. I'm your host, Ryan Spence, big lore dropout, life coach, author, speaker, lover of hoodies, hip hop and big hairy, audacious goals. If you're tired of living the life you think you should want and ready to start living the life you do want, this podcast will help you get from where you are to where you.

Really want to be.

So now with friends, I invite you to grab a drink, take a seat, and allow me to guide you towards living a life that's lit.

Hey. Hey. Welcome to episode 89 of the Triple C Project. And we're almost, almost at the end of November, rolling into December, which is fast approaching the end of the year. And I don't know how you feel at this time of the year, but for me, I literally just want to shut the door and hibernate. I think it's a combination of the, the weather here in the uk, which is very dark and gray and grim and wet, and also just the combination of a very busy year. I just want to shut my door, put the heating on and just, just chill and not come out until springtime, which obviously isn't going to happen. But I am feeling, although I haven't done my end of year review yet, I am feeling grateful for opportunities that have occurred this year for things that have happened this year, people I've worked with, people I've collaborated with. And I'm feeling excited about some of the plans and the ideas that I have for, for, for the new year as well. Still got some work to do to kind of work through those and create a plan and think about where I want to go. But yeah, feeling, feeling good and I feel, I have, I feel the spark is there. So what I want to share with you before I get into this week's episode, though, is I know for a lot of people you can get to the end of the year and you can start to feel quite down, start to beat yourself up about all the things that you didn't achieve this year or maybe you felt you, you, you would be in a new job or you' in a new position, a new situation and things just haven't gone the way you wanted to for whatever reason. And it can leave you feeling quite blah by about the end of the year and not particularly excited about going into into the new year, you might feel that you, you know, you've let yourself down. So first of all, I want to say you haven't get into the year, get into the year intact with your well being intact, your physical and mental health intact. You know, I mean with friends and other relationships intact. I mean that is a win and that should be celebrated. So pat yourself on the back for that and really take that as a win. But if you are feeling that a little bit blah and you're feeling that you just want to get that spark back and you want to start to feel excited again, feel you have a mission again, then what I'm doing in December is I am hosting a few what I'm what I'm going to call find your spark sessions because, because obviously you need to have a spark in order to light a fire and you need to have that fire in order to live lit. So do you see what I did there? And these find your spark sessions are going to be 75 minute coaching sessions where we can do whatever it is that you feel you need to do to get your spark back or to reignite that spark as you come towards the end of the year and flow into the new year. So that when you knew, when you get into the new year, you kind of have an idea of what it is that you want to do and how you want to go around achieving that. So these sessions are going to be great for you. If, as I say, you are getting to the end of the year and feeling that you haven't made all the changes that you'd plan to make this year and you kind of want to figure out, okay, what are the main things I want to change the new year? What are the things I want to kind of really just get an angle on so that I don't end next year in the same place I am this time this year. Even if you feel you had a great year, there might still be things where you're like, okay, this is really what I want to focus on in the new year. And I really want to kind of just make sure that my priorities are straight and that this aligns with, with what I'm thinking about for myself and the values that I have. Maybe just want to feel energized again and feel a bit excited about life in general. So any, if any of those things appeal to you and you're thinking, yeah, like I am feeling a bit blind, I could just do with that, that sort of reinjection of Excitement of purpose. Then these find your spark sessions, maybe for you. So if you'd like to grab one of these sessions, I'm going to have this at the moment, just kicking off in December, so there will only be a limited number of sessions. But if you would like to grab on and to learn more about them and have a bit of a chat, then if you shoot me a DM either on LinkedIn or over on Instagram, you can find me at iamrines spent links to these are in the show description. Just send me a DM with the words I want 75 and I will respond to your message and tell you a bit more about the sessions, what the investment is, how you can book them and. And also if you want to, in your message, let me know a little bit about what you would like to cover or what's coming up for you, then that will be helpful too. And let's get a session in the diary for, for December and kind of lift your spirits a bit for the, for the end of the year. And so you can, you know, approach the end of the year and going into the new year in a way that feels good to you, in a way that feels exciting, a way that feels like, yeah, I'm. I'm on track, I have a purpose, I'm on my way to living lit. So again, shoot me a message. I want 75. Send that message either on Instagram or on LinkedIn. And as I say, if you want to leave a bit detail about what, what's going on for you, you can do that too. And I will get back to you with all the deets and I look forward to speaking to you in December and helping you move from feeling that lethargy towards leave living and feeling lit. Okay, this week's episode. So this episode is partly inspired by this ongoing house renovation, but also by a conversation I had with a client recently around change. So what I find with a lot of the clients I work for, ambitious, successful, done all the right things to get there, and they tend to be quite, quite logical in the thinking, quite strategic in their thinking, and when they decide they wanted to do something, they then set their mind to it. They like to have a plan and they are very focused on getting the details down before they start to go after the thing. And that makes sense. That's kind of what's made them successful. If you're a lawyer in a big firm and you're seeing as being successful, then that's pretty much what you've done, right? You have probably Gone to the right school and then you got. There's some right grade, you need to get to the right university and then university, you've picked the right course and got the right grades there, applied to the right firms, got your training contract here in the UK as it is, and started your legal career and risen up the ranks. And you've probably had that plan to get to where you are now for quite a long time. And you've ticked off the steps as you've got there. You probably planned it to within an inch of its life. You've spoken to other people who have followed that path and you've tried to pretty much follow in their footsteps. And that's cool. And there's, there's nothing wrong with that. Except the thing is that when you follow, when you follow such a detailed plan, it can close you off to other opportunities, other things that are around you. I say sometimes it's like if you know what you want, and obviously that's part of, of clarity for me is knowing what you want, sometimes you don't necessarily need to know the how or how you're going to get what you want to start the process. And actually, sometimes less information is better for you. Now there's probably some of you out there just thinking, what the hell are you talking about? That's absolutely crazy. Of course you have to have a plan. Of course I need to know exactly what I need to do to get to where I want to get to. And I get that. And look, as I've said before, I'm a big sort of fan and have a big interest in duality because things aren't linear and they can. Two things can be true at the same time. But hear me out here, because I asked myself sometimes, and in things, things that I've done and when I've got that is the question that I've asked is if I'd known what the process would be like, if I'd known how hard the process would be and the things that might occur, would I have done the thing, would I have tried to get to where it is that I'm trying to get to? And sometimes, often the answer is no. But actually, in going through the process, I've learned so much about myself, about the process that I would not have learned if I hadn't just got started and encountered these things along the way. So as I'm still not living in my house, let me talk about it in relation to the house renovation. So when we bought our house, we, we always knew that we were Going to have to do some work to it because it wasn't. It just didn't work for. For our family. The person we bought from had. She was single, she'd lived with her husband, they got divorced, was single, but had lived in the house for 30 years. And so it wasn't sort of equipped for a family of four, particularly with our two kids and the amount of space they take up and things that they make. So we always knew we were going to have to get some work done. And we started the work in March of this year. But before we started the work, there was obviously an idea. We had an architect and we had this. It wasn't an elaborate plan, but it's quite a big plan for this kind of like one and a half story extension thing. And that's when I kind of was talking to the builder and getting a sense of what would need to be done and the cost of it. Part of me was like, I wonder if we could just scale this back. But I was like, no, it's fine. I accept that there's going to be some disruption, there's going to be the dust, it's going to be a bit annoying for a little while, but we can go along with it. That's fine. People go through building projects all the time and it'll be cool. Went ahead with the original plans and off we go, and it was fine. And we, I mean, we are fortunate that I had a really great, really great builder. If it hadn't been for this builder, then this whole process could have been a hell of a lot more miserable. But as you might expect from a house that hasn't really had much done to it, has had one person living here for a long time. And the things that have been done probably being done by contractors who are cowboys, let's say, for want of a better term. As the work started, things just started to be uncovered. And I think I mentioned this before, and things that were unexpected so like having to rebuild in the walls because the way that they were built back when the house was originally built just don't work anymore. They're almost like paper. And we needed to make them more sturdy. Things like finding that once we took the kitchen out that there had been two leaks that had been occurring for way before we'd even bought the house because the contractors who had put the kitchen in and done the pipe work just hadn't done it properly. And so the floorboards were rotten and they needed to be replaced. And there were lots of other things like that, which to Be quite frank. If I'd known before we'd started, I probably wouldn't have started the process or I would have just scaled back on the work to be done. But in the process of finding these things out, these things have been rectified. And as we're coming towards the end of this renovation, the house is kind of almost a new house in some respects, and it's a far better, far sturdier house than it was originally. And so we're going to end up with the space that we wanted, with a house that we're happy with, that we've really put our stamp on and our mark on, but we're also going to end up with a house where all of the horrors have been uncovered and dealt with and dealt with by somebody who we really trust, who we know has done a really good job, so we can have confidence in this house once we move back into it. But as I say, if I'd known all of the things that would come up, the amount of time, energy and money that would be zapped from me in this process, I wouldn't have done it because I wouldn't have wanted to go through all of that pain and misery. I would have just been like, either just not bought the house or would have just been like, yeah, let's just. Let's just patch up here or do it smaller and. Or just not go through it, because I wouldn't have wanted to deal with it. And look, even with all of my coaching and therapy and meditation, it's. It's taken a lot out of me, I've got to say, in lots of different ways. But I share this because if I had really known all of what was going on, if I try to really plan this and kind of canvas opinion from any and everybody I could about all the things that could potentially go wrong when you're renovating a house, particularly a house of this age and a house where one person has lived for so long, and I got a full picture of all the potential pitfalls and I could have seen what would happen along the way, then I would not have ended up with the house that we're going to end up with, which is going to be far better and a far nicer place to live than the house we originally started with. And so I'm sharing that with you to show that sometimes there, it's better to not know what it is you're going to have to endure or entail to get the thing that you really want. It's better to just focus on Wanting the thing and going off and carving your own path. There are plenty of people out there who can give you blueprints, detailed blueprints. In the online business world, there are all these people offering, done for you, templates and various things. And there can be some value in that, particularly when you don't know anything. Sometimes it's quite useful to kind of see how somebody else has approached the thing that you're attempting to do. But I think the problem can be when you follow that template, those blueprints basically closely, step by step, without focusing on the thing that you want, it can leave you, it can close you off to other opportunities, to other directions. And you've heard me talk before about the mental cell of self limitation that I found myself trapped in when I knew that I wanted to get out of law but couldn't really see a way out. And this is what can happen if you continuously want to follow in someone else's footsteps, if. Or if you're somebody who has to have every single detail mapped out before you get started, because all you're doing is closing yourself in to this mental cell. You're not looking beyond that. You're not allowing yourself to unlock the door and see what else is out there. You're not allowing yourself to expose yourself to obstacles and challenges that can grow you, that can give you the education that you need in order to get to the next level of growth, the next place that you're trying to get to. And so this isn't advocating for a wanton disregard for acquiring information. Not at all. I think information is valuable. And I think that if you decide you want something, for example, if you decide you want to write a book, then gathering information about the process of writing and creating and publishing a book and marketing a book, I mean, that's. That's just sensible, right? It's sensible to kind of get some knowledge and listen to some people who have done it before you. But I think that if you want to have every little step mapped out before you begin and know every potential obstacle that's going to come up, then one or two things is going to happen. Either you look at all those obstacles and think, that just seems like too much work for me, and you won't start, or you won't start because you don't feel you have enough information to start. And what I want to encourage you to do is that if you're serious about change and if there is something that you really want, is to just start and to trust that you can figure out what you need to figure out along the way and to not allow yourself to be held back by big things that have happened to other people and that could potentially happen to you. Ignorance is bliss, as the saying goes. And I think that there is. There is some value in that. As I say, the ignorance I had, having never renovated a house before, probably was bliss because I may not have gone ahead knowing what I know now with all the other things that I've got going on, but I'm glad that I did and seeing what the end product is going to be, which is what I and what we as a family wanted. I'm glad that I didn't have all of the information or I didn't wait and try to acquire all of the information before getting started, because I'd be sitting here still talking about renovating a house and not having started, rather than having a house that's almost done and that we're going to be in for Christmas. So I hope this episode has made you think about something that you want and something that maybe you've been holding back from getting started because you're trying to gather more information or because you are aware there could be some pitfalls and you're too scared to take those on, or you're not certain how it's going to work out and you really want to have a detailed plan before you get started. Because, look, you can make as detailed a plan as you want, but if you don't start, it's never going to happen. And even if you make a detailed plan that you're happy with and then you start, chances are things are not going to go to plan. So why use that plan or use what could happen as a way of just not getting started? Because now think about what some of your plans were let this time last year, where you wanted to be, things that you wanted to do, and ask yourself, how many of those have you actually done or have you actually started making progress towards? And for the ones that you haven't, ask yourself why? Is it because you were scared of what could happen? Is it because you're still trying to make a plan? And then ask yourself, if this time next year you were in the same place, how would you feel about that? Would you feel good about that? Would you feel happy about that? Or would you just say to yourself, man, if I'd started, I'd be so much further ahead right now? Okay, I'm going to leave it there. Thank you for joining me, as always, for this week's episode. I really hope that this episode inspires you to get on with getting after something that you want, that you want to do. Whether it is that you want to write a book, you want to start painting again, you want to start boxing or yoga, or you want to find yourself a new job. Whatever it is, I hope that this episode gets you inspired and fired up to just get started and trust that you can figure out whatever you need to figure out along the way. Trust that obstacles or challenges that arise, you'll be able to deal with them as they come up. And you don't need to know exactly what to do before you get started. You can figure it out. Trust in yourself. Thanks for joining me. I will see you here again next week for another episode of the Triple C Project. Don't forget you can drop me a DM on LinkedIn or over on Instagram with the line I want 75 or I want my 75. And doesn't matter if you've got 75 in there, you'll still get a response and I will drop you the deets about these Find your Spark sessions for December September December so until next week. Again, have a great week ahead. Thanks for listening as always. And until next time, stop living a life of lethargy. Start living life Lit.

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