The 3 reasons you procrastinate

But don't sit there thinking that you're procrastinating because you don't have the ability. You're incompetent, you don't have the work ethic. You're just not good at your job. Because that's not true. You wouldn't be in a position that you're in if you hadn't done the work to get there. So there's a reason why you're there. So don't sell yourself short. Don't beat yourself up. Procrastination is just our mind's way of keeping us safe. You're listening to the Circle C Project. Welcome to the Triple CE Project, the podcast that helps you gain clarity, boost confidence, build courage so you can live life lit. I'm your host, Ryan Spence, the big law dropout, life coach, author, speaker, lover of hoodies, hip hop, and big, hairy, audacious goals. If you're tired of living the life you think you should want and ready to start living the life you do want, this podcast will help you get from where you are to where you really want to be. So now we're friends. I invite you to grab a drink, take a seat, and allow me to guide you towards living a life that's lit. What's up? Welcome to episode 15 of the Triple C Project. You may remember I said last week that I was struggling with a cold, and that cold has turned into a really annoying cough that I've had all week. So if a coughing fit comes up partway through this podcast, you'll understand why I don't edit these podcasts. I quite like to think of the podcast as a conversation between me and you, the listener. And I know that we're not set opposite each other. You can't ask me questions in real time and I can't answer in real time. But that conversational vibe is just kind of my style, is how I write, is how I do this podcast, and that's how I want this to come across. But just because you can't ask me questions in real time doesn't mean you can't ask me questions. Always love to hear questions that you have, whether it's about the show, about what I do, about things that are coming up for you you kind of want to chat through. So as always, send me an email. Hey, am Ryan Spence dot com. Always love to hear from you. So don't be shy. Send me a message. What else has been going on? It's a holiday here this week in the uk we've got two. Two public holidays this week, the day I'm recording and also tomorrow, the next day, the Friday for the Queen's Platinum Jubilee. I'm not going to talk about the Jubilee on the show. I have my own thoughts about that. I'll just focus on the fact that it's two public holidays and the sun is shining, which is great. The other good thing is my kids are on school holiday and they are at my in laws for the week, which is amazing. My wife and I both needed a break. Two boys, six and four are exhausting. So having them away for a few days is, is really good. The house is very quiet and I am grateful and thankful for that. So yeah, a lot going on this week. What am I going to talk about today? Well, before I get to that, last week I read you a one of the reviews from my book, the the Triple C Method. And this week I'm going to read you another one or an extract from one. Reviews are coming in, which I'm really, really grateful for. One, because it helps the algorithm. And in this day of social media and Internet shopping and all the rest of it, algorithms, whether we like them or not, kind of affect what people see and what they buy and what they're turned on to. So the more reviews better for the algorithm, the more people see the book, the more the book can help people. So keep those reviews coming in, really do appreciate them. And also it just helps me see that the book is doing what I wanted the book to do. I wrote the book with a purpose and anyone who's written a book will tell you it certainly wasn't to get rich and famous by any stretch of the imagination. The book is written to help people, to help people who are in the position that I was, who were feeling stuck and unfulfilled and feeling lethargic and kind of want to get out of that and start living life in a way that is more, more fulfilling for them. A life that's lit. And so hearing in the reviews that the book is doing that and hearing the stories that people latch onto, hearing the techniques and the tools that resonate with people and that they're starting to implement in their own life really makes me feel that the work that went into putting the book together is worthwhile. So reviews are great and they're helpful. So don't think that your review doesn't matter. Every single review matters. Doesn't matter if it's five star review or not. Just hearing how the book is being received, hearing what works, hearing maybe what you took away, what you would have liked to have seen is always going to be valuable. So look, your. Your words matter, your message matters, your insights matter. So please do share them. Anyway, back to this week's review, and I'm going to share a extract from a review from Nicole Colwell. So Nicole is a business strategist and corporate transition expert. She's also the host of the Corporate Expat podcast, which I have been fortunate to be a guest on. And Nicole's great. She's doing some great things out there in the world. She's also a speaker. I think she's also working on a book at the moment as well. So you should go check out the podcast, the Corporate Expat. The name is kind of what you'd expect it to be. It's people who've been in the corporate world and have gone on to do other things either outside or in conjunction with their work in the corporate world. And Nicole said this about the Triple C Method. What a great time to hit reset. Reading the Triple C Method is like spring cleaning your mind so you can recharge, reset and hit your next level of success. I mean, that's great. I couldn't really said it better myself. Recharge, sprinkling your mind. If those words resonated with you and you haven't read the book yet, head to Amazon or your favorite independent bookseller and pick up your copy of the Triple C Method. Gain clarity. Boost confidence, Build courage so you can live life. Lit. Cool. So today's episode Today we're going to talk about procrastination. Procrastination is something that we all struggle with from time to time. It's the overthinking, it's the sitting down, knowing we have things to do but not being able to get ourselves up to do them. Or it's overthinking them. It's knowing we have to do the thing, but it's kind of pushing it down the list or doing everything but the thing that's in front of us. I've been guilty of doing that. Even recently, I've been guilty of doing that, which I will share. But what I want to share in this episode is that with my experience, there are three reasons why we procrastinate. And once you understand what those three reasons are, and once you understand which reason applies to you at any given moment, you can then deal with it and you can work your way through your procrastination. So hold on a second while I go and have that coughing fit I told you about. Okay, I'm back Again, as I said, I don't edit these things. You're getting the real rawness right here, Right? So, procrastination. There are three reasons that you procrastinate, and here they are. Number one, you don't know why you want or need to do the thing that you're supposed to be doing. So I remember Big Law. I would get in in the morning, sit down at my desk, and know I had a pile of stuff to do and not really want to do any of it. And in the book, I talk about that being a sign of lethargy, but that ongoing procrastination of knowing I have all the things to do but not doing them. I'd go and chat to somebody in their office. I'd go out and go for a walk. I'd go and get a coffee or get a snack. I mean, I browse the Internet, whatever it was. And looking back, that all came from a reason of not knowing why I wanted or needed to do the thing or whisper it. Not really caring. And this is a big point. If you have something that's on the list to do, why is it on your list? Is it on the list because you put it there or because somebody else put it there? I think that's the first question to ask yourself. And then once you know the answer to that question, what is the reason why this thing needs to be done or why you want to do that thing? And is it a reason that you care about? And if it doesn't, then that's the problem. If you're not clear on why the thing needs to be done or why you want to do the thing, or you don't care enough about the reason why it needs to be done, that's why you're going to procrastinate. Because nobody wants to do things that they don't want to do. Sometimes we have to. But if there's a bigger reason attached to that, we can see further down the line the vision of why doing that thing is important. We can usually pull ourselves up and get the thing done because you can see that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, that light at the end of the tunnel. But you need to know that. So you need to start asking yourself that question. I don't want to do this thing. I really don't want to do it. But what is the reason why it needs to be done? What is going to be the benefit to me of getting it done? So, story for me this week, so not in Big Law, but in my new life I needed to, in technical stuff, migrate my email platform from one to the other. It's been something that's been on my list for a couple of months and I hadn't done it. And I hadn't done it, yes, partly because I had a lot of other stuff going on, but I hadn't done it. Also because I knew it was going to take a fair bit of work, involve some tech stuff. Wasn't really my zone of genius. I'm more of a big ideas creative kind of guy. And getting down into the weeds of the tech wasn't really what I wanted to do. And I also hadn't answered the question for myself as to what was going to be the ultimate benefit of me getting this done. I knew it needed to be done, but I hadn't really honed in on that question. And when I did, I sat down and got it done. Sat down on Monday of this week and it ended up taking me longer than I planned to. But I got it done because I answered that question for myself. What is the ultimate benefit of me doing this? The ultimate benefit is that people can then access the information I want them to be able to access to help them on their journey. They can get to my website, get the Confidence Journal, and then they can get information about other things that can help them. So seeing that bigger picture made me realize that this needs to be done, it needs to be done now. So that procrastination, I could then kill it and get on with doing the thing. There's still some issues with it, but that's a whole other story to do with tech. But you get the drift of what I'm saying. Okay. The second reason why you procrastinate is because you don't believe that you can do the thing. So you have this thing to do in front of you and you're looking at it thinking, I don't think I can do that. I don't think it's possible for me to get that done. And it could be. For example, in big law, when you'd get a deal in and there'd be some weird quirk to the deal that you had to work through, maybe it was something that I hadn't seen before. And on the one hand, you know that if you kind of sat down and really got into it, you could probably figure it out. But that rational thought was overshadowed by the louder voice inside of you that was saying, this is too hard, you can't do this. You haven't seen this before. What makes you think you can get this done, you don't have the experience, you don't have the skill. It's that confidence talking, that inner critic telling you and chipping away at your confidence. And so when you don't have the confidence that you can do the thing, obviously you're going to be put it off, you're not going to want to do it, because who wants to do something where they don't have the confidence to do that? I'm going to talk a bit more about these later, after I get to the third point. And the third point, the third reason why you procrastinate is you're scared to take action to do the thing. So this can look like marking up a document and sitting and rereading the markup, rereading the document and taking hours and hours over something that should take you maybe a few minutes, maybe 30 minutes, maybe an hour, because you're scared to press send on that document. Because you're scared. Will the client appreciate what I've done? Will they ask me why I missed X? Will the partner next door come storming into my room saying, what the fuck? You know, that does happen. You know, we've all had situations where there's toxic partners or seniors who, who rather than come and sit down and have a conversation with you, shout and scream and rant and rave about one minor thing that you've done wrong, but that can happen. So you can be scared to do the thing, and that's what makes you procrastinate. Because as long as you don't do the thing, the fear of the. The fear of what may happen will never come to fruition. But at some point, you're gonna have to do it. So how do you get over that? So to simplify, let's. Let's go back through those three points. First of all, so we have. You don't. What, know why you want or need to do the thing, or you don't care. Number two is you don't believe you can do the thing. And number three is you're scared to take action to do the thing. And to simplify that, can you see well what those three things really come down to? You should know this. After all, the podcast is the Triple C project. Well, number one is a lack of clarity. Number two is a lack of confidence. And number three is a lack of courage. And once you know which of the three Cs are stopping you from moving forward are causing you to procrastinate, then you can deal with it. So again, taking the first point, you don't know why you want, need or care, clarity. Ask yourself why and go deep with your answer to that question. Don't just go with the first answer that comes to you, but go deeper. Try to find out exactly why this thing will matter. And if ultimately you can't find the answer to that, the answer to that, that is your answer. But then that's a whole bigger conversation as to why you're in the job that you're in. I mean, is there some end goal to that? Is there a reason? Is there a bigger vision as to why you're there? Or is it time to look at moving on? Is it time to look at moving sideways? There's all other conversations that you can have in that scenario, but for the purpose of this podcast, I just want you to get clear as to why you want, you need, or you should care about doing the thing. And if you can't find the answer to that, then you need to move on and have a deeper conversation with yourself and or with your coach. The second point, lack of confidence. So ask yourself, what's stopping you believing that the thing is possible, that you can actually do it? Is it something that you've done before or have you done something similar to before that some similar to this before that you can draw on that experience? How did it turn out for you if you had done it before or if you'd done something similar before, what were the things that you learned from that process that you can then implement into this new thing that you're going to do? Look for that evidence to support the fact that you can do the thing or you can figure out how to do the thing. And that's how you deal with that second point of lack of confidence to help you move forward and stop procrastinating in that scenario? And the third and final point, you're scared to take action to do the thing. Lack of courage. So what are you scared of? Our brains, when we're going to do something new will immediately jump to the worst case scenario, the absolute worst thing that can happen. So let's start there. What is the worst thing that could happen if you take action? Really think about that, really ask yourself what that looks like. Feel what that would feel like to you. What would be the potential consequences, ramifications for that? But I'm not letting you off the hook there. I then want you to ask yourself, what is the best thing that could happen if you did this thing? What is the absolute, ultimate best outcome of taking action? And again, feel into that, really visualize that look at the two extremes. The reality is you're probably going to land somewhere in the middle. And even if the very worst thing could happen, how bad is that really going to be? You're still going to move yourself forward because one, you'd have taken action to do the thing, and two, you'll have data that you can then learn from you going forward. So not doing the thing doesn't really help you, but doing the thing and taking action does. So when you start procrastinating, when you're sat in that zone of procrastination, I'd like you to come back to this episode and come back to these three reasons and ask yourself, am I procrastinating because I lack clarity? Am I procrastinating because I lack clarity, confidence, or am I procrastinating because I lack courage? Once you identify which of those it is, then you can start to work through the process of dealing with that so you can come out the other side. In some scenarios, all three may apply, and that's fine. Just work through all three. But don't sit there thinking that you're procrastinating because you don't have the ability, you're incompetent, you don't have the worth work ethic. You know, you're just not good at your job, because that's not true. You wouldn't be in a position that you're in if you hadn't done the work to get there. So there's a reason why you're there. So don't sell yourself short. Don't beat yourself up. Procrastination is just our mind's way of keeping us safe, of stopping us from going forward into something that is potentially detrimental to us, whatever level of detriment that may be. So what we're trying to do here is actually understand that and then really just break it down to get to the essence of what's stopping us. So, as I said, the three reasons that you procrastinate lack of clarity, lack of confidence, lack of courage. Come back to this episode whenever you're in procrastination and when you work through the questions that I've shared with you and let me know how it goes. I'd love to hear what moves you're making, how you're moving forward, working through this process and beating down and fighting through your procrastination. And if you need support with this, if you need some help to kind of help you move towards that and create that bigger vision for yourself and stop procrastinating, stop holding yourself back from moving forward towards creating the life that you want. A life that's lit. That's what I help you do as a coach. That's what I do in my one to one program. I help you gain clarity, boost confidence and build courage as well as a whole host of other things. I look at your performance as productivity and influence and energy. So if you're interested in having a conversation, go ahead and book a call with me and let's get on. Let's get on the phone. Let's have a consultation, a strategy session to see where you are, where you want to be, and how we can bridge the gap to get you there. Head to iamryanspence.com Click the work with Me button and that will give you all the information on how to book a call and what it looks like to work with me as your coach. That's it for me this week. If this topic resonated with you, drop me a message, let me know. I'm at hey am ryan spence.com and I'd love to hear about it. And if you know any friends who also struggling with procrastination. I mean I knew a lot in my time in Big Law, share this episode with them. I think that the more that we share resources and tips and tools that we acquire for ourselves with the people around us, the people that we care about, the more that people can start to see things differently and start to create and live the life that they want. So that's it for me this week. Head to iamryspence.com and get my free Confidence Journal. Particularly if lack of confidence is the point that you identify as helping you or keeping you in that zone of procrastination. The Confidence Journal helped me. It's helped my clients. It's seven journal prompts to help you level up, get you into that mindset of believing that you can achieve the things you want to achieve. Believing that as long as you know the what, you can figure out the how along the way. So again, I am Ryan Spence.com download the free confidence Journal and I will see you next week. Until then, stop living a life of lethargy and start living life. Thanks for tuning in to the Triple CE project. If you like the show, don't keep it to yourself. Go ahead, tell a friend and tell me too by leaving a review to get more tips, tools, strategies to help you get from where you are to where you want to be. Head to iamryspence.com and download my free Confidence Journal. Don't forget to follow me on Instagram. I'm amrynespence and you'll be the first to know about the release of the my upcoming book Triple C Method. But for now, only thing that I have left to say is stop living a life of lethargy and start living life lit.