The 4 Letter Thing That Everyone Wants Is...

You've listened to the podcast from the self help gurus, not this one. You've been down the rabbit hole of personal development videos on YouTube. You browse and bought and binged the books on the shelves and the bookshops that tell you all the things you need to do to live the life you want. And sure, they, they light you up for a while, but you don't end up taking any action. You're listening to the Circle CE Project. Welcome to the Triple CE Project, the podcast that helps you gain clarity, boost confidence, build courage so you can live lifeless. I'm your host, Ryan Spence, the big lore dropout, life coach, author, speaker, lover of hoodies, hip hop and big hairy, audacious goals. If you're tired of living the life you think you should want and ready to start living the life you do want, this podcast will help you get from where you are to where you really want to be. So now with friends, I invite you to grab a drink, take a seat, and allow me to guide you towards living a life that's lit. Hey. Hey. Welcome to episode 109 of the Triple Seat Project. Exciting times here. I've just received as I'm recording this for a few hours before. I've just received the first edit, the manuscript for my second book, which is exciting and also a little bit scary. So I'm going to be diving into that over the next few days, no doubt making some changes. I hate looking back on work that I've done. I very much like to look forward. So going back over something and you think, why did I say that? Why did I write that is kind of not what I like to do, but it's necessary, so that's what I'll be doing. But what's. It's exciting because it's a step closer to the book being finished and to unleash Nick into the world, which I'm very excited to do because regardless of my own thoughts, we're always our own worst critics. I know just from the tiny sample of people that have read it how powerful it's going to be. And I know just from the experiences that I share and reliving those experiences I went through as I wrote the book, I know how powerful those experiences were for me and how they have shaped the journey that I've been on and allowed me to break out of the box that I felt that I was trapped in all those years in Big Law. So I'm very excited. I hope you are too. I'm not sure I've shared the title yet, but the title of the book is the Triple C Project. After the podcast, find your place, purpose and peace in a world that wants to box you in. So coming late 2024, haven't decided on the date yet. Got some other things to work out. There'll be a workbook to go along with the book, just as there was with my first book, the Triple C Method. So, yeah, very exciting. So if you haven't read the first book, the Triple C Method, now's the time to go out and get your copy and read it, get started on your journey towards living a life that's lit. Because this second book very much follows on from that and builds on the work and the tools and the strategies that I share in the Triple C Method. So head to imroinspence.com books or wherever you get your books from. Preferably a nice independent bookshop if you can support your local business. This week's episode I'm talking about the question that I ask clients a lot. And it's the question that I share in the Triple C Method because it's one of the first steps towards gaining clarity. And that question is, what do you want? What do you want in your life? What do you want your life to look like? What do you want to achieve? What goal are you going after? What dreams do you have? And the common answer to that question, when I ask it at the start of a coaching process is, but, right, I just don't know what I want. And that's generally the vibe that clients give me when I ask them this question and I ask them again. Then they say the same thing again, and you see their. Their brow furrow and you see them go silent for a while as they kind of wrestle with the answer. And I like to let them sit with the question because deep down I know that even if they think they don't know what they want, there's a little something inside them that does. And there's kind of two things that are potentially happening. They either know the thing or the things that light them up. The dreams that they have, the goals they want to achieve. That's what they really want. But they're too scared to admit, too embarrassed or too limited in their beliefs to admit to themselves that they want that because they've told themselves the story, that it's not realistic, it's not something that's possible for them. The other thing that's potentially happening is they feel they can feel something. They feel they want something. They feel something needs to shift, something needs to be different, but they just can't pinpoint exactly what that something is. So here's what happens. Anyone that comes to me, generally it's about their job. It's the job that's the problem. That's the primary factor that's driving them towards booking a strategy session with me and to potentially working together. They're unhappy and they're unfulfilled and they're burnt out and they just don't want to live that way anymore. And getting out of this soul sucking job is kind of what's going to help them with that. That's what's going to be the thing, that's what's the change that's needed and they want help with that. They always come to me sometimes like I'm a career coach, which I'm not, but I can help you. But that's not the essence of what I do. It's deeper than that and I know that. But when they say their job is the issue and they complain about that and they illustrate all of the reasons why it's the problem, reasons that I can relate to, you know, and so I, I get it. And I get it because we spend so much time at work, especially, especially if you're in big law. Ain't that the truth. I did a bit of research before recording this episode. And according to research by the legal website legalcheek.com the average working hours at big law firm Kirkland and Ellis is 12 hours 28 minutes per day. At ropes and grades 12 hours 22 minutes per day. And the research showed that at several other top firms the average was 11 to 12 hours a day. You probably listen to this, are thinking, yeah, that's nothing. You know, I've done longer than that. And you're right, but this is, this is average, right? So if you even just take that average, is it any wonder that you feel exhausted? Any wonder that you're feeling burnt out, that you're feeling drained? So I get when the job is the primary factor, the primary trigger for you wanting to make a change, for you thinking that if you just can change that, everything else will be great. But here's what I know, what I know from my experience and what I know from my client's experience is that the job is only a part of it. Despite the fact it encompasses such a large part of our life hours of every working day, almost half of the 24 hours we have in a day, it's still only a part of the whole equation. Because changing jobs, without answering the question That I asked without figuring out what it is that you want instead, not just in the job, but in life, all that that's going to do is leave you feeling the same pain in a new environment. It's like when I went to teach yoga and I used to talk about this in the first iteration of this podcast, the Yoga Dent podcast. There are many people in corporate, I used to be one of them, who have this dream of leaving corporate to go and teach yoga, for example, and feel that that's the change that they need. But if you don't do that inner work to figure out what you want your life to be, what it is that you really want, then you're going to take the same issues, the same problems, the same feelings with you into this new environment and nothing is going to change. So you've got to do that work. You can't avoid that question, what do I want now? What people want? The number one thing that people want is bigger than just wanting a new job. And if I had to distill it down into a single word, the one thing that my clients want, and in my experience, the one thing that everyone wants is more. That's that four letter word, more. You see, the reason you feel unsatisfied at work is because you want more. The reason you feel flat and lethargic is because. Because you want more. The reason you feel stuck in a rut, like you're going through the motions, living every day like Groundhog Day, is because you want more. You want to feel more aliveness, you want to feel more passion and connection in your relationships. You want to feel more happiness, have more happiness, high lit moments in your daily life. You want more money so you can create more freedom to do more of the things that you love. And you want more energy. You want to create more time to do the things that you want to do. And you want more. Meaning. Am I right? Come on, do you feel me? I know you do. But what stops you getting more, having more, being more, is you don't believe that more is possible for you. And even if you did the work to build your confidence to a level where you had that belief that more was possible, you've no idea where to start so that you can get it. You've listened to the podcast from the self help gurus, not this one. You've been down the rabbit hole of personal development videos on YouTube. You browsed and bought and binged the books on the shelves and the bookshops that tell you all the things you need to do. To live the life you want. And sure, they, they light you up for a while, they give you a ton of information and inspiration, but you don't end up taking any action because you don't know where to begin. There's all these competing ideas and tools and strategies that you end up feeling more lost than you did when you first started. It's kind of like sitting down at home and watching a travel show and getting inspired and excited about this place that you want, that you're going to visit, that you want to visit. And the show finishes and you walk out your house and you get in your car and you turn on the engine, but you end up just sitting in your driveway a little bit confused because you have no idea how to get there. You've no idea of the steps you need to take to reach your destination. You don't have a roadmap, you don't have a gps. Now, I don't claim to have all of the answers by any stretch of the imagination, but what I do have is personal experience of feeling the way that you feel. A feeling stuck, feeling unhappy, feeling unfulfilled, of feeling like I'm going through the motions and feeling trapped and hemmed in and weighed down by the weight of my limiting beliefs. And what I also have is I have years of coaching clients that also feel that way and that have come through the other side to do amazing things. Things which they never thought were possible for them when we started to work together. Things which had never even crossed their mind, like starting a business, like getting a distinction in a master's degree, like moving across the world and finding love and getting married. Like all of these things which are kind of there somewhere within them. But they got teased out and they figured out exactly where to start through the work that we did. And they achieved the things that they were always capable of achieving, but just didn't believe that they could. So with those experiences, what I'm going to do is I'm going to share six secrets to help you get started. Six secrets that if you implement them into your life daily, you'll begin to gain the clarity, confidence and courage that you need to get unstuck to escape your mental cell of self limitation and to get the more that you've been craving in life that you knew you wanted but didn't quite know what it was or how to get it. And I'm going to share them in a free 60 minute webinar. And this is my invitation to you to join me. The webinar name is The High Performance Way six Secrets of the World's Most Successful People. And I'm going to share with you the six secrets that you need to practice, frankly, to get ahead in life, to live your life the way you want to live it with all of the more that you've been looking for. And these secrets are secrets that I haven't just pulled out of my ass. They're secrets, excuse my French. They're secrets that are backed by research which I'll also be sharing with you in the webinar. So I would love if you would join me on the 5th of August at 7pm UK time for the high performance way six secrets of the World's Most Successful People so that you can start to take these secrets that I share, implement them in your life and start to notice the shifts that occur, start to find where it is you need to start to get the more than it is that you want. So I invite you to head to subscribepage IO sixsecrets or just DM me on IG and I'll shoot you the link and book your spot. Join me on the 5th of August, 7pm UK time for this webinar to learn these six secrets that you can start to implement immediately after that webinar in your own life to start to get you thinking differently, acting differently, building different habits, losing habits that no longer serve you. To start to create the life that you want to get the more that we were all craving, we're all looking for. I can't wait to see you there. It's gonna be great. And who knows, I always come up with crazy ideas, so there may be a couple of gifts or bonuses or something going on as we get nearer to the date. So register, book your spot and get on the call and share. Share this with anyone who you know, a friend, a colleague, a family member who you know is feeling a little bit stuck, directionless, downtrodden, lethargic, and who's looking for a way out. Who's. Who knows they want to change something, but just doesn't really know where to start. Invite them to join you at this webinar. It's completely free and it's, it's gonna, it's gonna, I'm gonna drop some value, right? These, these are proven secrets, proven tips that, that are gonna help you. They've helped me and they've helped thousands of others as well. So I'm really looking forward to see you there. Thank you for listening, for joining me for this week's episode of the Triple C Project. As I say, if you're not already, follow me on Instagram @iam underscore Ry Spence to see news from behind the scenes of the launch of the new book which will be out later this year, the Triple C Project and details of how to join the launch squad for that and get involved book clubs and all other manner of things that will be going on as well. Okay, so subscribe page io6 Secrets to Join. The webinar link is also in the show description and until I see you again. See you again. Speak to you again next week. Stop living a life of Lethargy and start living life thanks for tuning in to the Triple C project. In the spirit of the Triple C, here's three things that you can do to support the show. Head to ratethispodcast.com Triple C or over to your favorite podcast app and leave a review. Reviews really help people checking out shows to see what they can expect and how this show can help them. Second thing you can do? Share Share this episode Share a previous episode with a friend, someone who you feel could benefit from what I'm throwing down on this here show. And number three, head to iamryspence.com get on the main list. I'll be sharing news about the show, news about what I'm up to. My new book start writing soon. So to be the first to be in the know, you need to get yourself on the list. Really appreciate you being here. And until next week, stop living a life of lethargy. Start living life lit.