This one question can help you kill the overwhelm

All it really requires is for you to get curious. Get curious about what you're being asked to do and how it fits in with the journey that you're on with the vision of the life it is that you want, both in the short term and also in the long term. Because if you don't ask yourself this question, if you just try to do everything, you're either going to burn yourself out running around trying to squeeze everything in, living your life according to other people's needs and other people's agendas, or you're going to suffer that Analysis Paralysis of Overwhelm when overwhelm hits you and you just don't know where to start, what to do, where to begin, you're listening to the Circle C Project. Welcome to the Triple C Project, the podcast that helps you gain clarity, boost confidence, build courage so you can live life lit. I'm your host, Ryan Spence, the big Lore dropout, life coach, author, speaker, lover of hoodies, hip hop and big, hairy, audacious goals. If you're tired of living the life you think you should want and ready to start living the life you do want, this podcast will help you get from where you are to where you really want to be. Sit now with friends, I invite you to grab a drink, take a seat, and allow me to guide you towards living a life that's lit. Hey hey. Welcome to episode 32 of the Triple C Project with me, your host, Ryan Spence, life coach, author, yoga teacher, here to help you gain clarity, boost confidence, and build your courage so you can live life lit. Topic of this week's episode is Overwhelm. Now, I don't know about you, but when I was in Big Law, I would often get into the office, look at all the things I had to do, and just feel like I don't know where to start. There's just too much going on here. My head's all over the place. It's cluttered with all of these different things, competing priorities. Where do I start? What do I do? And the thing about Overwhelm is it stops you in your tracks. It sometimes leads to or can be confused for procrastination. You're just not getting on and doing the thing. But Overwhelm is bigger than that. And if you have been in Big Law, if you're in a stressful work environment, you'll probably understand what I'm talking about. And so you're going to want to stick around for the rest of this episode where I'm going to share the question that you can ask yourself to help you cut through the overwhelm and help you move forward. So overwhelm, as I said, stops you in your tracks. It keeps you stuck. It can be frustrating because you know you have all of these things to do, but you just don't know where to start. And this isn't just a big law or a corporate problem. It's something which I'm still working through today. I've got a better angle on it, but I'm one of those people who just guilty of taking on too much stuff because I'm curious. There's things that I want to do, there's things that I'm curious about. There's things which I want to get involved in. And I'm guilty of underestimating just how long something will take, how much time will be involved in the thing that I've agreed to do. And I'm also guilty of overestimating how much time I actually have. I mean, I've got pretty busy life. I've got quite a lot going on. I mean, I've got a wife, I've got two kids. I've got yoga, both teaching yoga and practicing myself. I've got meditation again, teaching and practicing, coaching, legal consulting, writing, speaking. There's a whole host of things that I have going on. But I'm so interested in all of these other things that I keep on taking more, taking on more or wanting to take on more. Whether it's signing up to a new course so I can learn something new, whether it's committing to a networking event, whether it's committing to giving a particular speech, whatever it is, I am guilty of wanting to do it all and trying to do it all, and then beating myself up for not being able to do all of the things that I want to do. And so what's this, what this has done and what I've learned over time is that I need to become more ruthless. And this self awareness, this recognition of what overwhelm is doing has forced me to become more ruthless, more ruthless with my time. And look, this is not going to be one of those be productive, do this time block and all of that kind of good shit that people talk about. Because look, I don't mean that you've got to spend all of your time focusing on being productive in that traditional capitalist way of thinking. I mean, life's for living, right? And I like to do shit. I like to zone out and watch Netflix sometimes. You know, I like to scroll mindlessly on social media on occasion. And you know, I like to Just goof around with my kids doing dumb shit. I like to have fun, you know, I like to cruise around in my car playing hip hop as loud as I can and rapping along. You know, I like to live life lit. I'm not always about being the most productive in that sense of the word, because to me, being productive isn't just about getting work done. It's about living a productive life for you. Getting enough rest, having enough fun, you know, taking care of yourself. But the thing is, I can't always do all of the things that I want to do. Having fun, doing the work in the time that I have, it's just. It's just not feasible. Yes, there's the narrative that we all have the same 24 hours in a day. And you know, there's debate about that. And some people hate that. Some people really subscribe to that. The fact of the matter, whether you think they're the same hours, we all have 24 hours a day. So there is finite time to do the things that we want to do. And I talked about last week about the consistency before beating intensity. And sometimes it's not about trying to do. Trying to commit a huge chunk of time to something to get something done. It's about committing the time that you have. And a small amount of time, 15 minutes a day, can be or will be more productive and take you further than trying to wait till you've got six hours in a day for the sake of argument. Okay, so we all have the time that we have. And because we all have the time that we have, I've had to become more ruthless. And that's mean that I've had to become better at saying notice it, Notice shit that I can't do, or notice shit that I don't want to do, notice it. That isn't a priority for me. And to do that, I've had to ask myself a simple question. And before I get to that question, I just want to clarify something. When I say become better at saying no to shit I can't do or I don't want to do, or that isn't a priority, that's personal to me. And so you have to look at it as what's personal to you. And people aren't necessarily going to like the decisions that you make, but you have to make the decisions that serve you best. Because if you want to get from where you are to where you want to be, that's going to require making some difficult decisions to protect your energy, to protect your boundaries, to help you move forward instead of keeping you in in that overwhelm and standing still. So, as I said, there's a simple question that I ask myself now whenever something pops up that I wasn't planning to do or that maybe doesn't fit in with what I was intending to do within the vision that I have. And I have to take some time out to kind of think about do I want to do this? And that question is coming up right after this. Hey, I'm interrupting myself to give you this short message Now. If you're listening to this pod, you're likely looking to change your life. Here's the thing. Transformation doesn't happen by doing what you've always done. It happens when you change your thoughts about what's possible for you. My book, the Triple C Method, helps you do that by giving you the tools and strategies to stop living a life of lethargy and start living life Lit. Described as a transformational toolkit and the book I wish I'd had when I decided to leave corporate the Triple C Method will change how you see yourself and how you live your life. Available now as paperback, ebook and audiobook and read by yours truly. Head to iamrinespence.com book or over to your favorite bookseller to grab your copy today so you can stop living a life of lethargy and start living life Lit. Okay, I am back. And so the question, the question that I ask myself now, when competing interests arise, when something comes up that I want to do, or I'm thinking about doing, or somebody has asked me to do, I asked myself, am I available for this? Am I available for this? And by that I mean, am I available physically, mentally, energetically, even spiritually, if you like? Because the thing is, asking yourself if you're available doesn't just mean do you have time in your calendar? Because you might. There might be a gap in your calendar. You might not have a meeting in there, a call in there, something that you've committed to in that particular block. But asking yourself, am I available for this? Means asking yourself and getting curious about are you available? Are you available physically, mentally, energetically? What will you have to give up to take on that thing? What will you gain by taking on that thing? Because think about it. If you have a gap in your calendar and something comes in and you say, yeah, I'll do it, without asking yourself that question, then yes, I guess physically, you might be able to take your body from where you are to the place to do that particular thing, but mentally and energetically Maybe you needed a rest. Maybe you needed a break in that window. Maybe you needed to hang out with your friends. Maybe you needed to zone out in front of the tv. Maybe you needed to go to the gym just because it wasn't in your calendar. Maybe that would have better served you at that moment. And if you'd taken the time to ask yourself, am I available for this? You could have run through that checklist and figured out, is this something which I want to commit to at this time? And you can avoid some of the issues that come up in relation to overwhelm. And look, this doesn't mean that everything that you have, that you do has to have a tangible payoff for you. Again, it doesn't have to equate to that productivity in the traditional capitalist sense of the word. I mean, look, one of my core values is generosity. So sometimes I'll do something because I want to help the person that's asking me. I want to make them feel good. And that will be a lens which I run the question through. Am I available for this? Because if physically, mentally, and energetically I feel that I can give what I'm being asked to give, then I may just decide to give it without question and without expectation of anything in return. One of the things I love, and this is happening quite a bit lately, I have people who I'm connected to who are doing some really awesome shit. You know, releasing books, creating courses, preparing their own merchandise. And it's fantastic. And I really love supporting them. Not because they asked me, but because I feel that I want to do that. Because I love to see other people win, and I'm available for that. Even if I have other things going on, I may decide, no, I'm available. If they ask me to jump on an IG live and talk about this, or write a post about this or write a review. You know, I'll be like, yeah, I'll do that. Because it's something which I want to do to help them energetically. I am available for that because it ties into my core value of generosity. And so I want to do that. And it all ties back to values which I talked about in earlier episodes. As you'll see, all of these things kind of hang together and intertwine. So am I available for this? And all it really requires is for you to get curious. Get curious about what you're being asked to do and how it fits in with the journey that you're on, with the vision of the life it is that you want. Both in the short term and also in the long term. Because if you don't ask yourself this question, if you just try to do everything, you're either gonna burn yourself out running around trying to squeeze everything in, living your life according to other people's needs and other people's agendas, or you're going to suffer that analysis Paralysis of Overwhelm when overwhelm hits you and you just don't know where to start, what to do, where to begin, and this question again, am I available for this? It isn't just external, isn't just a question you ask when you're asked to do something by somebody else. It's a question you need to get to ask yourself. And this is where I'm still working. It's when I get inspired by, oh, that looks like an amazing new course, or that looks like a great event, or that looks like a great opportunity. I should look into that. I have to ask myself, but am I available for this? Do I have the mental headspace to do this? Do I have the energy to do this physically? Can I be there at that particular time? Can I make this happen without letting other things that are important, maybe more important to me, fall by the wayside? So it's a two pronged thing. You ask it in relation to questions to things that you're asked to do by other people, but also in relation to things that you are wanting to do or commit, trying to commit to do yourself. So here's what I invite you to do as we come to the end of this episode. The next time a request comes in from someone to do something, or the next time you're considering adding something else to your plate, I want you to just take a few minutes and ask yourself, am I available for this? And consider that question, maybe write down that question, am I available for this? On a piece of paper? And then just journal or just jot down all the things that you've got going on. Maybe where this particular request fits into your plans, fits into your vision, what you will gain from it, how it will help the person that is asking you, whether you want to help the person you're asking you, whether it works for you, all of the different things. And it doesn't have to take long. I mean, obviously the bigger the request, longer this may take, it may just be a quick mental checklist run through in your head, but the more that you do this, the easier it will become and the quicker you'll be able to work your way through the exercise. And on a broader note, I want you to think about this as well. And this comes back to knowing what your values are, knowing what you want, knowing why you want it. If you carry the question in your mind, why, what am I available for? So a slightly different question, but relates to the same thing. If you ask yourself, what am I available for? It means that when certain things come up, you'll instinctively know whether or not you're available for them. It'll make that whole decision making process a lot easier, you know. So what am I available for? I'm available to speak at certain events that align with what the message I'm trying to share. You know, I'm available for helping out people who I like, who I get on with, who have maybe helped me out in the past, or who I just think are doing really cool shit. Helping them get their message out, helping them share what they want to get out into the world. Now, there's a whole host of things that I'm available. I'm available for my kids, obviously, you know, making sure that they are comfortable in being who they are and not feeling that they have to necessarily conform to certain ways of doing things and living things, ensuring that they have basic life skills like being able to ride a bike, you know, being able to ride a two wheel scooter, whatever it is. But there are all of these things which I'm available for, which it makes it easier for me to say yes or no to certain things. So again, I'd like to leave you this week with next time a request comes in, next time you think about adding something to your plate, ask yourself the question, am I available for this? Physically, mentally, energetically, spiritually. And a broader question, thinking about moving forward, what are you available for? And again, maybe just start to journal on that, make some notes, work through your values and yeah, get yourself clear on what it is you're available for so that you can stop being stuck and frustrated by overwhelm and you can start moving your life forward from where you are to where it is that you want to be. Okay, that's it for me this week. If this episode resonated with you, share it with somebody you know. And if you would like to go deeper with this work and if you'd like some support on getting clear on what your values are and getting clear on what you're available for so that you can stop spinning yourself around in overwhelm and have that clarity of thought, that clarity of mind to allow you to make decisions that best support you in moving forward. Why not give me a call? Why not Work with me if you had to. Hey, if you had to. Iamrispence.com coaching you can find out all about how to work with me and book yourself a consultation call and we can look at what works best for you. Although I have a set way of working, I always tailor it to the client. Different people need different things at different times, and I'm here to support you in the best way that I can because I know I've been there. I've been through all of the things that I talk about in this podcast and I help clients get through them as well and build the tools and strategies so they can help themselves move from where they are to where they want to be. So Again, head to iamrinespence.com coaching and book yourself a consultation call. I can't wait to speak with you. I can't wait to help you. And even if we don't work together, the consultation call has been described as the most useful hour that some potential clients have had in a long time. Just through the change, the reframing, how they think about certain things that they've been doing, struggling with. So go ahead, check out the page, book yourself a call, and I look forward to speaking with you. And until next week, stop living a life of lethargy. Start living life. Thanks for tuning in. But before you go, the weight of limiting beliefs is heavy. It literally weighs you down and keeps you stuck in that life of lethargy. I know. It's why I stayed in Big Law for so long, and it's why so many of my clients don't believe they can do the things that they want to do. But what causes those limiting beliefs? It's a lack of confidence. Lack of confidence in the belief that you can do the things that you want to do. And I got something for that. It's my Confidence Journal. It's six journal prompts that I created that I've used to help me get from where I am to where I want to be, to help, to give me the belief to do the things that seem outside of my control, outside of what I can do. If this sounds like you, you need to get your hands on the journal. Best thing about it, it's free. All you have to do is head to Iamry Spence.com hit the button for Confident Journal and get your copy today. It's going to help you start to reframe your thoughts and get you thinking about what you can do instead of focusing on what you can't do and shed that load of limiting beliefs that you don't need to be carrying. See you again next week. And until that time, stop living a life of lethargy and start living life lit.