What You Can Learn From 5 of my 2022 mistakes

Shows hope. It shows. It shows that you can do that. It shows that you don't have to be perfect out of the gate. It shows that you're not going to be perfect out of the gate. You're not going to get everything right. But by doing, you make mistakes. And through those mistakes, you then get better. And just through that repetition and that practice and that consistency, you continue to improve and to up your game. You're listening to the Circle C Project.

Welcome to the Triple CE Project, the podcast that helps helps you gain clarity, boost confidence, build courage so you can live lifeless. I'm your host, Ryan Spence, the big Lord, rock hat, life coach, author, speaker, lover of hoodies, hip hop and big hairy, audacious goals. If you're tired of living the life you think you should want and ready to start living the life you want, this podcast will help you get from where you are to where you really want to be. So now with friends, I invite you to grab a drink.

Take a seat.

Allow me me to guide you towards living a life that's lit.

Hey. Hey. Welcome to episode 44 of the Triple C Project. If you're new here. Hi, I'm Ryan Spence, your host and life coach and author of the Triple C Method. Gain clarity, boost confidence, and build courage.

So you can live life lit.

And if you're a regular in these parts, thank you as always, for being here two days before Christmas 2022. If you're listening to this, on the day it comes out every Friday, in case you're wondering. And what a year. What a year. I think you can say what a year about the last two years as well, but for slightly different reasons. Because for me, when I say what a year this year, there's been a lot of good things that have happened and there'll be some things which haven't necessarily gone according to plan. But that's cool. You see, the thing is what I often hear, whether it's from clients, whether it's from comments I get on social media, content is people who know they're not where they want to be, who have this burning desire to do something new, to try something new, but they're terrified of making a mistake, terrified of it not working out the way that they had intended. And the thing is, the only way you can figure out if something is going to work is to try it. And when you try it, if you've never done it before, you don't know how it's going to go. So you will make mistake, you will get things wrong. Sometimes in Making a mistake. You find a better way of doing something, a way that works for you that's more in alignment with how you want to do things. And sometimes you just fuck things up, you fall flat on your face and you just got to own that. But you've got to then take the data from that to allow you to go again. But trying something a little bit different, tweaking a few things. And I think sometimes there can be this perception that coaches, the coaching world, personal development, that we've all got everything together. We, we know all the right answers and we just glide through life on this cloud of bliss and peace and calm. And I'm going to dispel that rumor because, look, that ain't true. And as I say, there've been some good things that have happened this year. Some things which I had wanted to happen, some things which were completely unexpected, and I might talk about those a little bit more on the next episode. But what I wanted to do today to hopefully help you to just get comfortable with fucking up sometimes, is just to talk about some things which maybe didn't go so well. Either they were mistakes or often I just like to talk about them as experiments, things that I tried and maybe didn't get the result that I wanted, or maybe I just tried them just to kind of see, hey, what would happen. And you know, that's, that's kind of where we are. So this is kind of a mix of mistakes and, and experiments that have gone through this year. So the first thing I'm going to say is the first mistake that I think that I made is spending far too much time on Instagram. Instagram is. Instagram's like a playground to me. I remember when I left big law and I first started to want to change the perception of the legal industry, to change people who were stuck in corporate and help them go from lethargy to let. I knew I had to be on social media, and LinkedIn was the social media platform that I chose for various reasons. I'd had an account but barely used it ever. So I knew I knew nothing. And then I took a three hour Instagram workshop. I realized I knew less than nothing. So it was very much a learning curve. But Instagram really helped me to find my voice. It really helped me to develop my content, to figure out what I wanted to say and how I wanted to say it. And it also helped me to make some really amazing connections. I've connected with some great people on Instagram. I've had some great opportunities. I've been invited onto podcasts. I've had people come onto my podcast, my previous podcast, the Yoga Den podcast. I've done Instagram lives. I've been asked to write sort of articles. There's been a lot of good that has come from Instagram. So I still have an affection for it, and it's still very much a playground, and it still will be part of what I do and where I show up. But here's the thing. I'm a coach. I'm running a coaching business. I'm trying to find clients, I'm trying to help people. And Instagram is not. Has not proven itself to be the right platform for the people who I wish to help or I want to help, because the clients that have found me from social media have all found me from LinkedIn. And so it would make more sense for me to spend more time there and put more effort in there than it would on Instagram. And I've been a little bit, I guess, reticent to let Instagram go, because to me, it is now so easy, is a playground. And I just feel I can do what the fuck I like on there, and I don't really care as long as I'm getting out the message that I want to get out. So that's one mistake and something which I'll look at in the new year. Maybe spending a little less time on Instagram or just trying to see how I can. How I can still have fun with it, but spend less time there and spend time where. Spend my energy kind of where it's. It's bearing. It's bearing fruit. It's doing what it needs to do. Because I do want to share the content, but I also want the content to reach the people that it needs to reach. And so I have to kind of go where those people are, in my opinion, anyway. And so the lesson for me, and that I share with you from that one is spend your energy where it serves you, whatever that is. It doesn't have to be about social media or anything, just wherever you're spending your energy, just check in with yourself and say, is it serving me to spend my energy in this place? If you're having fun, you're finding joy there, then yeah, maybe it does. And if you're not, then maybe it doesn't. And there could be other criteria that you use as well. But that's what I'd like to take away from my lesson of spending too long on Instagram or too much time on Instagram this year is to check in and Spend energy where it best serves you. Okay. Number two, the next mistake that I've made this, this year, looking at it through my self reflection, is not consistently evaluating what worked and what doesn't work. What I mean by that is that I'm very much and this is something which I've been working on myself. I very much have an idea, run with it, execute it, and then move on to the next thing without always spending time evaluating what worked well, what didn't work well so that I can then apply it to the next project. And that can sometimes mean that I'm doing multiple projects at a time and not necessarily taking the lessons that I could have taken to apply to the next one to make it a little bit easier, a little bit more streamlined. And this is something which you can take into your day to day life too. You can do right now. I mean, we're coming to the end of the year, it's a great time for self reflection.

But you don't have to wait for.

The end of the year to do your self reflection on the year. You can self reflect at the end of each day, at the end of each week, at the end of each month. What went well today? I mean, how did I show up today? Did I show up in the way that I wanted to? One of the exercises that I do in my coaching clients quite early on is getting them to choose three words that best represent them in certain situations that best represent the best of who they are and how they wish to show up. And your evaluation could be basically based on that at the end of each day saying to yourself, did I show up in accordance with those words today? It doesn't have to be some big grandiose thing, but regular evaluation, regular self reflection accelerates your growth. And I'm kind of good at doing it in certain areas of my life. I'm good at doing it in sort of personally and in my growth. I mean, to get from where I was to where I am now in the time that I did requires a lot of self reflection. I just haven't been as diligent or as consistent at doing that with the projects that I take on within my business. So that's something which again, I'm going to be taking into the new year and trying to integrate more into my business life. And so I hope you can take that away with you too. Self reflection, evaluation. Consistent self reflection and evaluation. Okay, the third mistake, and this one isn't really a mistake as such, I guess it's a bit more of an experiment Slash mistake. Anyway, who knows? The words don't really matter. Launching a course too soon. So I launched. If you listen to this podcast, you'll know that I launched Triple C101 earlier this year. I did a podcast episode about it. I did some Instagram lives about it and I really love the course, the content of the course, how it's put together. And I really feel that supplements the book, the Triple C method, and also with clients that I work with supplements the work that we do together as well. But in hindsight, it wasn't the right time for me to quote, unquote, launch a course because it wasn't really where my main focus focus was that my main focus is on working with people one on one. My main focus was and then my, my other focus was then on the book and also on this podcast. And so putting out a course in and around that it's a lot for one person to, to deal with. And I didn't promote it as much as I probably could or probably should. And I haven't really talked about it much since that initial podcast episode. And so in hindsight, it was too soon to be launching a course, in my opinion, for what it is that I want to do and where it is that I want to be and what I have going on. And I think you can apply this to your own life in the sense that, look, for me, it was an experiment. I wanted to try it and this is the feedback that I'm taking. So even though going back to the previous point, I wasn't consistently evaluating, I did evaluate sometimes, but you've got to experiment. I wouldn't have known what I know about putting the course out if I hadn't have gone ahead and done it. And so I have no regrets about creating it, no regrets about putting it out and talking about it, no regrets at all. Because it was an experiment and I have this body of work which is there, which is still helping people. It's still available, you can still go ahead and get it. I just don't really talk about it very much, but I do share it complimentary with my one on one clients to again supplement the work that we do. So it wasn't time wasted. It's really still an integral part of what I do and there is a lot of value there. But yeah, I took the experiment, I decided to put it out and I decided that the whole launch thing wasn't really for me, at least at this time. So yeah, there you go. That was number three. Number four again, this is another I guess experiment really. So one of the things which, the lessons that I've learned this year, really good lesson is really helped me and this is actually through working with my business coach and in the mastermind that she ran this year, is just permission to do things any way you want, just to do what the fuck you want. Whatever you're doing, there will be some sort of blueprint, people sort of peddling some sort of blueprint about how you should do things. But as always, say you've got to take what works for you and leave what doesn't because everyone's experience is different. And I think for a time early on in my business, I was very much stuck on coaching people in accordance with a particular way of doing things, coaching in terms of a specific period of time. And so this year I certainly felt like I had this freedom to just go all out and experiment and do what I wanted to do. And so with a couple of clients we experimented with just coaching one on one for a month. So four sessions rather than the minimum period of three months which I had before. And I just wanted to try it out, see how it works, see how it works for, for myself, but also how it works for my clients. And so for me, the outcome of that experiment is that I'm not sure it's something that I will do again, at least not for brand new clients. And the reason for that is because it doesn't, I don't feel it best serves the client, if I'm honest. It's a reason why I never offered single sessions. And I think that also applies now to offering sessions for just a month. And that's that I, I know through my own growth and through the growth that I've seen with other clients of mine, longer term clients, that particularly if you've never had coaching before, the first few sessions are just like, wow, this is new, this is novel. I'm having all of these different ways of thinking, these different ideas, and you really start to get on this high. It's like when you're slowly climbing up a roller coaster and you have that anticipation and it's the anticipation of my life started here kind of at the bottom. If you're talking about a roller coaster and as you're going up you're sort of anticipating what it could be now that you're having these new ideas and you have these new tools and these new strategies and it's amazing and you feel so euphoric and it's fantastic. And then you get to the top and then you dip and this is what happens, is you get that euphoria. But then what will happen is there'll be some obstacle or challenge that just comes and hits you upside the head. And everything that you've learned in those first few sessions of coaching goes out the window, and you default to the old way of doing things because you spent a lifetime getting to this point in your life with the habits and the tools that you have. So naturally, when you're knocked off kilter, knocked off guard, you're going to fall back on what's comfortable, fall back on what you know. But the reason why you came to coaching was because you weren't or you're not where you want to be. So the habits and strategies and tools, whatever you want to call them that got you here are not going to get you to where you want to be, are not going to get you to living a life that's lit. So with coaching, it can make you feel better in a session, two sessions, four sessions even. But what you learn takes time to integrate, to integrate into your life, so that when obstacles and challenges do arise, you start to use the new tools and the new strategies that you have as opposed to falling back on the old ones that weren't saving you. And so all of that is just a roundabout way of saying that. I tried the experiment offering a month of coaching to new clients, and I don't feel it's in the best service of the client. So for returning clients, existing clients, maybe, I mean, maybe that's, that's, that's something which I'll. I'll look at in the new year. But I think for new clients, particularly clients that have never been coached before, I'm just not sure it's in the best service of them. So that's currently where I am. So that was number four. And I guess the lesson that I'd like to share with you from that is, again, it's like the one before. Experiment, Try things out. Feel free to do things the way that you want to do them. If you're looking to get out of your current position or change your life from where it is, don't necessarily feel that you have to follow somebody else's blueprint. Don't necessarily feel that because something hasn't been done a particular way before that you can't do it that way. Experiment, try things out. Because if things aren't working in the current situation that you're in, then what do you have to lose by trying something different? So experimentation, that's number four. And for the Fifth one I think I'm going to stick at five. This one's a little bit more tongue in cheek, but. And I'm not really sure what the lesson is for you to take away, but it's something that came to me as I was looking back through past episodes for the year.

Hey, I'm interrupting myself to give you this short message.

Now.

If you're listening to this pod, you're likely looking to change your life.

Here's the thing.

Transformation doesn't happen by doing what you've always done. It happens when you change your thoughts about what's possible for you. My book, the Triple C Method, helps you do that by giving you the tools and strategies to stop living a life of lethargy and start living life lit, described as a transformational toolkit. And the book I wish I'd had when I decided to leave corporate the triple C method will change how you see yourself and how you live your life. Available now as paperback, ebook and audiobook, read by yours truly. Head to iamrinespence.com book or over to your favorite bookseller to grab your copy today so you can stop living a life of lethargy and start living life.

Next and 6th of May of 22, episode 11 of the podcast. The title of the podcast episode was Kanye Level Confidence. Yeah. And that episode was all about confidence. But it was, it was inspired by watching the Kanye west documentary on Netflix and being really struck by how even when he was, quote, unquote, a nobody, no one knew him, nobody wanted to know him, nobody thought he could rap, nobody ever thought he would be a star, he would win Grammys or any of that. The belief that he had in himself was so strong and just, just, yeah, just uncharacteristically for somebody who, who never really done anything. And I was really struck by that. And obviously confidence is one of the pillars of the Triple C method. And so I wanted to do an episode about that and look at it through that lens and encourage you to go and check out the documentary and just kind of see that for yourself. Because confidence is a thing that a lot of people say they don't have, that you don't have. But to see somebody who had not achieved anything but still had so much confidence, I think it's quite inspiring. And when I, when I named the episode there, I mean, look, Kanye's done some controversial things and. Yes, but the episode wasn't, it wasn't about him per se. It was about what I've just said. You can still. And you could still use him as a lens to kind of exhibit confidence. But just when you thought he couldn't up anymore, they. He's gone and done all the things he's done this year and there's no need for me to talk about it here. You can find out for yourself if you're, if you're not aware. And so there was a point where I was like, damn, I wonder if I should change the name of the episode because I could easily go back into my podcast host and just amend the name and anyone looking at it in the future or anybody who was, who had already listened to it, was going back to listen to it, would never really know they, you know, I mean, until they listen to the episode that that's who I was talking about. But the thing is, I decided, no, that's what I was feeling at the time. That's what I was thinking at the time. And I think if there's anything that I would, any lesson that I would give from this and the lesson that I take myself is that I feel it's important to exhibit growth. I think if you're just wanted to show somebody your success, you're showing them a false picture. I think they need to be able to see where it was you came from, what it was that you went through. You know, I started writing on social media, as I said, back in 2020, and if I look back at some of the posts that I put out then I'm like, I thought I could write and I wouldn't put that out now, but I keep all that content out there because it shows growth, it shows progression. And I think that for anybody who's looking at what I'm doing, and he's feeling a little bit nervous, a little bit unconfident, and not quite sure that they can do it if they can go back and see content, that all things that I've done, which I'm a bit like cringy at now, I'll think maybe I want to do that now. I think it just shows. It shows. I don't know what the word I'm looking for. If it shows, it shows hope. It shows. It shows that you can do that. It shows that you don't have to be perfect out of the gate. It shows that you're not going to be perfect, perfect out of the gate. You're not going to get everything right. But by doing, you make mistakes and through those mistakes you then get better. And just through that repetition and that practice and that consistency, you continue to improve and to up Your game. So again, I've probably got a little bit off tangent then in terms of talking about an episode that was had Connie's name in the title and then talking about making mistakes and consistency. But I think it all ties together. And so that's what I would like you to take away from number five. Show people the whole journey. And when you're looking at other people who you admire or who inspire you, go back and look at their whole journey. They didn't just get to where they are perfectly formed and you didn't just get to where you are perfectly formed. You had to go through a process. And I think it's important on all of us to share that process, whether we think it's interesting or not. But people will take from that what they need. But I think showing people the journey and in my case, keeping creating that body of work and leaving it there for all to see, even when I'm a bit like, I'm not sure I would do that now, I think is an important part of the whole process. So I'm going to leave it there. That's my five, I guess, mistakes experiments this year. There are many more. I'm sure. I haven't done my full self reflection for the year yet and I'm sure there'll be many more. But I feel that this is in enough to show you that I don't have it all figured out like anybody else. We're all out there figuring out life ourselves. But I share from my experience, from what I've done, from what I've gone through and from the growth that I've had and from what I see with the clients that I work with. All in the hope that you can take what you need from these episodes and implement them into your own life, Integrate them into your own life and start to make life a little bit better for you. Start to get a bit more in touch with yourself, who you are, what you you want. Okay, so I guess to wrap up five mistakes or five lessons from the mistakes that I've made this year. Spend your energy where it serves you. Don't stay too long where it's not. You just waste energy that way. Consistently evaluate self, reflect on what's gone well, what hasn't gone well, and how you can tweak things and go again. Experiment, experiment to figure out what works, what doesn't work. Don't worry about getting it wrong. Be, be open, be prepared, be happy about potentially getting it wrong. Because in getting it wrong you can then tweak things so that Next time you can get it right or at least get it a little bit better, a little bit righter for you. Not a proper word, but I've used it so there. And I guess, yeah, experiment is. Is. Is. Is the. The key one to take away there. And that applies to two of the things that I said and. Yeah, and the final one is show the whole journey. Show your entire body of work. I think Austin Kleon has a book called show your work, and I guess it's very much in that vein. Show what happens. Show what got you here. Show the. The ups and the downs. Show the obstacles and the challenges. Show the mistakes. Show, you know, just show what you've done because that will inspire people. That will allow people to sort of see, okay, maybe I can do it. If they started here, I can probably start there or a few steps behind there. And if I keep working, maybe I can progress in the way that they did. Okay, that's it. I'm going to go. I think this episode is a bit longer than I had planned it to be, but I really hope, as always, that it's been super helpful to you. Take what you need, leave what you don't, Integrate into your life so that you can stop living a life of lethargy and start living life lit.

Thanks for tuning in. But before you go, the weight of limiting beliefs is heavy. It literally weighs you down and keeps you stuck in that life of lethargy.

I know.

It's why I stayed in big law for so long, and it's why so many of my clients don't believe they can do the things that they want to do. But what causes those limiting beliefs? It's a lack of confidence. Lack of confidence in the belief that you can do the things that you want to do. And I've got something for that. It's my confidence journal. It's six journal prompts that I created that I've used to help me get from where I am to where I want to be.

To help to give me the belief.

To do the things that seem outside of my control, outside of what I can do. If this sounds like you, you need to get your hands on the journal.

Best thing about it, it's free.

All you have to do is head to Iamry. Spence.com hit the button for confidence journal and get your copy today. It's going to help you start to reframe your thoughts and get you thinking about what you can do instead of focusing on what you can't do. And show shed that load of limiting beliefs that you don't need to be carrying.

See you again next week.

And until that time, stop living a life of lethargy and start living life lit.