You're waiting to make change happen, but do you know why?

There are three things which I've heard or I've said, you'll be in a situation. In my case, you're in big law. You're getting really pissed off for various reasons. It could be the politics, it could be the workload, the hours. It could be just the lack of boundaries on your part, whatever it is. But you're hanging on. You always think that it will be better next year. Or sometimes you say to yourself, you tell yourself the story that you're hanging on until a particular thing happens. So the three things I commonly hear or have commonly said myself are, well, you're going to hold on until you've saved enough money. You're going to hold on until you get your bonus, or you're going to hold on just until the right thing comes along. But here's the thing, whoever says that, and this was me, they never leave. You're listening to the Circle CE Project. Welcome to the Triple CE Project, the podcast that helps you gain clarity, boost confidence, build courage so you can live lifeless. I'm your host, Ryan Spence, the big law dropper, life coach, author, speaker, lover of hoodies, hip hop and big hairy, audacious goals. Tired of living the life you think you should want and ready to start living the life you do want. This podcast will help you get from where you are to where you really want to be. So now with friends, I invite you to grab a drink, take a seat, and allow me to guide you towards living a life that's lit. Hello, my friends. Welcome to episode 22 of the Triple C Project. The great thing about doing your own thing, whether that's having your own business, writing your own book, writing your own blog, or having a podcast like this, is you can do what the fuck you want. If you get an idea that comes into your head, you can just execute. There's no red tape, there's no people to run it through, there's no gatekeepers. And as someone who always has an abundance of ideas falling out of my head, it's good to be able to share them. And because, look, not everyone will get them, not every idea will land, but you get that immediate feedback, that immediate data of what works, but more importantly, what you enjoy. Because you don't know you enjoy doing something until you actually do it and give it a go. I'm going to talk a bit more in later episodes and I think I'm sort of considering having some sort of series around the importance of sharing your message and getting guests who are working in that space are helping people to share their message, whether they're book coaches or podcast coaches or people who help you write blogs, whatever it is. So if this is something that you're interested in, that you've been thinking of doing, just send me an email with any sort of questions that you have about sharing your message. Whether it's the fear of sharing, whether it's the actual practicalities, whether it's the platform that you should choose and that will help me sort of craft, craft the right questions and curate the right guests to help you if that's something which you think you might want to do. And a little disclaimer supporter here, I think everybody should share their message. Not everybody has to be a podcast and everybody has to want to be on TV and everybody has to write a book. But sharing your message is how people get to know you, how people get to know what you think, how people get to understand the ideas that you have and why you have them. And it's important to just create this, this, this person, this thing that you are known for or this body of work, these experiences that you're known for. So if you're like I used to be and you're sort of scared of sharing your message with the wider world, you're going to want to stick around throughout the, the rest of this year as I talk more about that and help you get your way through that. So if you have any questions, send me an email at hey am Ryan Spence.com or catch me on Instagram or LinkedIn in the DMs. That's cool too. What's been going on for me this week? A few things really. The audiobook is out. The audiobook of the Triple C method. A little of a bit of a snag there. So I originally wanted it to be released on 26 July, but without going into the details with Audible, it doesn't allow you to do a pre order if you don't have an exclusive distribution deal with them, which I didn't want to do. So they went through the process of approving it for release and then just put it out there. So the first I knew is I went into Audible and saw my book, which was quite exciting. But hey, it didn't do well for the whole lead up to two pre orders. But it's out and I'm very excited and I'm excited for you to get it and listen to it. Even if you've actually read the book itself, I think the audio is going to. The audio will be like listening to a long podcast I guess, but in book form. So I really encourage you to, to go out and grab that, to sort of have, have the message of the book in your ears, because sometimes you can hear a message once, but it's going back over and over that's really going to solidify in your head and help you sort of gain that momentum to sort of move forward and make the decisions you need to make to live life lit. And going back to what I said at the beginning about being able to do what the fuck you like when you have your own platform. To celebrate the release of the audiobook, I'm going to do this. If you leave a review of the books, if you already have the book, you've already bought the book, whether it's paperback or ebook, go to Amazon and leave a review and then share that review on your social media of choice. So LinkedIn or IG is, is where I hang out and tag me. Okay, tag me in that. And the first five people who do that, I'm going to send you a code for a free copy of the audiobook on Authors Direct. So all you got to do is if you have the book already, write a review on Amazon, take a screenshot of that review, share it on IG or LinkedIn, or if you don't, not on either of those, send it to me in an email, tag me if it's on social media, and I will send the first five people that do that a code for a free audiobook so you can listen to the audio and also read along at the same time. Because I'm generous like that. Generosity is one of my values and I want to thank you for your support. So I will put the details of that again in the show notes in case you didn't catch it there. But yeah, you can get a copy, free copy of the audiobook because that's how I roll. Nothing else to report this week that I think you need to know about, but I want to tell you about this week's episode. And this week's episode is really about just that. Well, you know that process where you, you say things are going to change and you're, you're willing things to get better, they'll get better next week, they'll be better next year, and they never do. I'm going to talk a bit about that and I'm going to talk about three things that people say that really are never going to get your situation to change because nothing's going to change unless you do something about it. And these three things are things that I have said in the past or that I've heard people around me say, in the world of Big Law, it's not restricted to these three things. There'll be a whole host of other things. So as you're listening to me, run through the three, think about how they relate to the world that you're in. Whether you're in corporate, in tech, even if you are in law. But you've heard slightly different things because the principles are generally the same. And it's all about the fact that the reason why nothing's changed is that you haven't done anything about it. Okay? And at the end of it, I'm going to again tell you these three reasons, tell you why they're not helpful to have, and in the process of that, explain to you what it is you need to do if you want to change the situation where you're at, if you want to get from where you are to somewhere closer to where it is that you actually want to be, coolio, let's get to it. So there are three things which I've heard or I've said. You'll be in a situation. In my case, you're in big law. You're getting really pissed off for various reasons. It could be the politics, it could be the workload, the hours. It could be just the lack of boundaries on your part, whatever it is. But you're hanging on. You always think that it'll be better next year. Or sometimes you say to yourself, you tell yourself the story that you're hanging on until a particular thing happens. So the three things I commonly hear or have commonly said myself are, well, you're going to hold on until you've saved enough money. You're going to hold on until you get your bonus, or you're going to hold on just until the right thing comes along. But here's the thing. Whoever says that, and this was me, they never leave. They never change the situation for themselves. Why? Because in each of those scenarios, each of those things that they've just said, they're all waiting for something to happen. They're pinning the hopes of change on external factors which they do not control. So they've given away their power. They've given away their power to external forces. We all have our own personal power. We all have our own personal autonomy to make choices, to make decisions. But by saying these three things to ourself and letting that be enough and hoping that that is enough for change to occur, we're giving our power away. You're giving your Power away. It isn't that inherently those three statements or statements like them are wrong. It's that there's no why to them. Like, what does it mean? What will it mean when these things happen? So let's break it down. Second, the first one, you say to yourself, I hate this job, I hate where I am, I'm going to leave, but I'll leave when I've saved enough money. Okay, Sounds cool on the surface, right? I mean, it sounds sensible. Even I, I, I used to say that. And actually when I did leave, I, I hadn't done that. So I don't advise anyone to follow the steps that I took. But I, I was lucky in terms of how I went. I did have enough money, but it wasn't through any sense of planning and saving enough. But that's another story. But saying that you'll leave when you say enough is, it's good, it makes sense, right? Because she kind of to sort of have discussion. But the thing is, when you say that, have you actually worked out what you need? I mean, have you looked at what you are spending now and have you looked at whether you could cut some of that spending down if necessary? It's not that you have to cut it, but you need to have a sense as to just what you, what you need. Saving, if many, is kind of, I mean, it depends on who you are. Do you need to save £10,000? Do you need to save £50,000? You know, it really depends upon where you're living, what your lifestyle is like, what you want your lifestyle to be like, what it is that you're going to do next. Are you going to go into another job that pays an equal level? Are you going to start your own business? Are you going to take time out? You know, I mean, all of these things will play into the idea as to how much money you want. And if you haven't thought about any of that, how will you know when you've saved enough? You need to know how much of a Runway you need. If you're not planning to work for a while, you're going to need more money than if you're planning to take a couple of weeks out and then go straight into another job at a similar level. So there are lots of questions you need to ask yourself. So simply saying to yourself, I will leave when I've saved enough. It's not going to get you anywhere because you're then just going to be like, yeah, I haven't saved enough yet, haven't saved enough yet. Year later, haven't saved enough yet, you'll never go. Because money's addictive. That monthly salary is addictive. And it's very hard to give that up willingly. So you need to, in your mind, have a target, have a, have a reason, have a why as to why the particular figure that you're working towards, that is the figure. Why is it that figure? How have you got to that figure? And why is it important so that when you reach that figure, there isn't this. I'll just stay for another month, another six months, I'll just get a little bit more because it will keep sucking you in. Okay, so what is enough? Ask yourself that. If you're saying to yourself, I'll leave when I've saved enough money, ask yourself, what is enough money for you? Okay, second, hate it. Fuck this life. I'll leave when I get my bonus. Similar and for big law, because I know how that generally works. It's quite, can be quite alluring. I mean, depending on the firm. Some firms pay better bonuses than others. But I mean there are some firms where you can get a really great bonus and even in some in house legal jobs as well. I know. And in some corporate jobs, bonus can be quite a decent percentage of your salary. So it's not to be sniffed at. And again, it makes perfect sense to hang on. You've worked that year, you feel you've earned that money, so you want to get that money before you walk out the door. No issue with that. But again, the question is why is getting that bonus important? I've just said why. It makes sense. But why is it important to you? And is the question to ask yourself is, is getting that bonus more important than getting out now? And that's going to depend. I mean, if you get your bonus at the beginning of a year, for example, and you're in December, then yeah, you might just think, yeah, it's worth hanging on. It's only a matter of weeks, we've got the Christmas break in between. It makes sense. But if you, if it's June and you really hate it and the environment's really toxic and it's really affecting your well being, you've got a way up. Is it worth hanging on another six or seven months for that bonus? Or is it better for you? Does it serve you better to just get out now? And that's a difficult idea to have because you're thinking of giving up what might be a substantial amount of money. But I'd like you to sort of think of it in a slightly different way. And think of what is the cost of you staying in the situation you're in for another six months, seven months, whatever it is. And look at it that way because we can look at the money, that's easy. But looking at the cost to us, the cost to our health, our well being, our relationships is that can actually be quite powerful, can actually give you a different spin on the situation. Other things to think about is though, what, what will magically change, what magical insight into your future will you have when you get your bonus? Because the bonus doesn't change anything. The bonus is just money in the bank. But if you haven't done the work to create the vision as to what that bonus would mean and why, having that bonus is going to allow you to take the next step on the journey you want to go on, the step towards the life you want to live. Then again, bonus hits your account. Nice amount of money, I'll hang around, get it again next year. It's very easy to stay. Money is alluring. And what if you don't get the bonus? Then what happens? Do you hang around for another year and hope you get it the following year? When is the cutoff? What is the cutoff? What if the bonus isn't at the level you're expecting? Same thing. Do you stick around? Do you hope that it's better next year? Or do you go anyway? So again, there's nothing wrong with saying you'll hang on until you get your bonus. But you have to know why. And you have to know what that means, what that will allow you to do, what having that money is going to give you that you don't have now in order to get to where it is that you want to get to. Okay, third point. Hate it, don't want to be here. But I'm going to leave when the right thing comes along. And this is a common one. I know in Big Law I had colleagues who were waiting for that perfect in house job, you know, and some of them were actively out there searching for a job, but others were just hanging around and not really doing the work, not really having a strategy to figure it out. And look, the right thing isn't just going to come along. The right thing isn't just out there in these streets looking for the perfect person to land on. No, hell no. I mean, even if, like me, you believe in manifestation and the power of the universe and all of that good stuff, you've got to do your bit, you know, Anyone in that space will say to you, the universe will Meet you halfway, but it's not going to come to you and give you what you need if you're just sat on your ass doing nothing. So if you sat around thinking, I'll do it when the right thing comes along, and maybe you send an email or maybe you look at a job site once a week or whatever, the right thing's not going to come along because you need to be showing that you what it is that you want and actually taking steps to try and make that thing happen. You need to be treating finding that right thing almost as a job within itself. Putting in the hours, doing the research, making the connections, networking with people, all the things that you probably did to get the job that you currently have, which you now don't want or you're not happy with. And the right thing that comes along, it may not even be to go somewhere else. It may just be a little shift in the organization. You're already in a shift sideways or to another office or to another department. But again, you need to be clear, first of all, what is the right thing and why is it the right thing? And what is that going to give you that you don't have now? Then when you know what the right thing is, you can then start to figure out, okay, how do I get myself into a position where the right thing is going to come across my path, where people know this is what I'm looking for? And so when these things come up, people automatically think of me and send those opportunities my way. Because look, we can all sit around and say, I'm waiting for the right thing to come along. But if you don't know what the right thing is, it's going to come along, pass you by, and you'll never even know. And if you do know, it'll be too late. It would already have gone. So to recap, three things that you might be saying that I have said that people say that stops them from moving forward, but makes them think that they have some sort of plan. I'll leave. I'll change when I've saved enough money, I'll leave, or I'll change when I get my bonus, or I'll leave, or I'll change when the right thing comes along. So, yeah, if you're saying any of these things or things similar to them, they're not wrong. But I want you to go deeper and to ask yourself why? Why are you waiting for that particular thing to happen? What will change? What will magically come to fruition? And what do you need to do aside from Those things. What do you need to do? Do you need to create this spreadsheet of money out, money in, so you know exactly what money you need? Do you need to plan how long of a Runway you might need? You need to have a year's cash in the bank, three years cash in the bank. Do you need to know what that bonus represents and what that is going to allow you to do that you can't do now? Why is it important, more important for you to have that bonus? Or if. Or is the cost of being where you are worth more to you than the bonus? The right thing? What is the right thing? Don't just wait for the right thing to come along. Figure out what the right thing is and then figure out the steps you can do to create the opportunities for yourself. And things will come along, but you need to be in the position for them to happen. Cool. I hope that helped you this week. It's inspired by a LinkedIn post that I wrote this week about just waiting, saying that you'll wait and next year things will be better. And the number of people that say that and do that and next year comes and they're still in the same place. Things aren't better, but they haven't moved on because they haven't really made a plan to move on. They're too focused on what they don't like and what they don't want. And they haven't taken the time to figure out, focus and create and design what it is that they do want. So always comes back to clarity. Get clear. Get clear on your focus, get clear on your mission and get clear on why they are important to you and why you want them. Because that's going to allow you to make the decisions you need to make and push forward when those obstacles come in to play. That's it for me this week on the Triple C projects. I hope this episode has been useful to you as always. If it has, share it, share it with a friend. I know in Big Law, I had so many colleagues who would come into my office for chat and we were all sharing the same issues in slightly different forms. And so if you have people who are like that around you, wherever you are, share the episode with them and explain to them what you took away, what insights you had that might help them make the decisions that they need to make to change their situation, to get from where they are to where it is that they might want to be. And if you'd like to support the show, please leave a review. Reviews are always good and Helpful. They're good for getting the show out to other people, but they're also good because it allows me to sort of see what's. What's resonating with you, what's driving with you, the things that you really are taking away from the show. So I can do more of them. And you can always obviously send me an email, hey, am Ryan Spence.com or catch me on the socials if you want to do that too. I want to create the show that will help you. I'm creating this from the position where I was and I know the issues that I had and I know people share those issues, but I want to make sure that if you have anything that I haven't covered, that I can help you out there too, and I can cover that for you. So I always, always want to hear from you. I appreciate you listening to the show each week. And yeah, I want you to stop living that life of lethargy and start living life. Thanks for tuning in to the Triple C project. Before you go, I want to to share something with you. When I was in Big Law, I struggled with limiting beliefs. I didn't have the confidence to believe that I could change my life, that I could leave Big Law and do something differently, that I could move from a life of lethargy and create a life that's lit. That's why I created the Confidence Journal. For people like you who are in the same position that I was, who are struggling with that confidence. I need a boost to allow you to believe that you can do the things that you want to do. Confidence journalist 6 journal prompts that I've used and I still use to help me get from the guy who was too scared to post on Instagram to the guy who is now committed to giving a TED Talk, to the guy who wrote a book, to the guy who launched a podcast. You can do any of this too. All you need to do, stop boosting your confidence. So to do that, head to iamrinespence.com and download the Confidence Journal. It's free, it works, and it's going to change your life. Thanks for tuning in. See you next week. And remember, stop living a life of lethargy and start living life lit.