A leader shares two habits from his mentor: pausing before responding to provocative messages, and asking why someone acted that way instead of reacting emotionally. Viktor Frankl called this the space between stimulus and response. Both practices reduce defensiveness and let you address the actual issue.
I am a big fan of hiring coaches where you need help with. And I was asked on some podcasts recently about like, who was the most impactful mentor that I've hired? And the reality is I personally hire mentors based on where my need is at that time. And so almost every mentor I've hired has provided me value and has done some good things for me. And then my business grew and I outgrew that mentor, and then I found another one. There's literally nothing wrong with that. I— so I use coaches, I use mentors. The really, the purpose of this video, I wanted to share with you one really big insight that I've learned from my current mentor that I've been using. And it's this idea of pause and then respond. The first time I heard about this concept was when I was reading about Viktor Frankl. I think the name of his book is Man's Search for Meaning. Something like that. He says that between stimulus and response, there's a space. Stephen R. Covey in 7 Habits of Highly Effective People also quotes Viktor Frankl for this. And I don't even know if I butchered his quote, but between stimulus and response, there is a space of time, which is the same thing as saying pause and respond. So if something happens to me, that's the stimulus. Before I respond, there is an opportunity for me to stop and process things. And I say that because I know I certainly have been guilty of this. I'll read an email or a Facebook post and I feel super offended by it. And so I immediately wanna jump in defensively and respond to it. Yeah, in fact, I mean, I've definitely been in scenarios because I put myself out there sometimes with my stances on things. I've had some people pretty upset with me and had to look at a lot of posts that are just completely out of context, but didn't deserve a response because I stopped, I paused, I used that space between the stimulus coming in before the response. And sometimes a non-response is the best response. But that being said, this has really been helping me out a lot. in the way I'm running my business is this concept. I wrote it up on my whiteboard that I can see in my office here, pause and respond. It helps take some of the emotion that might cause our logic to fail. It takes that out of the equation. It also allows me to better analyze the situation. Yeah. Because then the second piece of information that this mentor taught me also comes into play. Be curious. So by pausing and responding and then saying to, saying to myself, be curious, why would this person respond that way? Or why is this person talking to me in this way? Why is this person doing this thing? By being curious, I now have a better opportunity to take out of the equation the initial defensive response that I probably want to respond with. Instead, it now puts me kind of in their shoes and says, well, maybe something's going on in their life that is causing them to be this way. Or maybe they've been frustrated with this for a while and they haven't said anything, and so it's a little bent up. And so I should take what they just said and pull the truth out of it and then address the truth as opposed to maybe the emotional baggage that came with whatever they said to me. So I just wanted to share that with you. Pause and respond and be curious. Those are 2 things that have helped me a lot develop, at least this year, in growing myself as a better leader for my company. Profitability is a choice. Be financially resilient.
