Wealth, Wellness, and Work-Life Balance with Gary Kadi

My dear friend and brother Gary. How are you today?

So good. Sachin, this is a special day for me to really connect with you and your community. Thank you for this privilege.

Thank you. It's my honor. And this is a full circle moment for me. We've had many conversations privately and in sacred spaces together. And I'm so glad that we have this conversation today where we can bring our community and perhaps even members of your community into the dialogue and really have like a fun conversation that enlightens people mentally, emotionally, spiritually. This is going to be really fun for people who are new to you because at one point I was new to you, I heard you speak from a stage and I could just feel your energy and see your light and see you for who you were. But for people who are new to your message, tell us a little bit more about yourself and the work that you do.

Yeah. Thank you. For 30 years I've been in the practice development area for dentistry. So I saw the dentists just like functional medicine or any type of medicine. You know, you don't leave medical or dental school, just excited to be an entrepreneur. Even know that you're going to be an entrepreneur, right? And so, you know, that becomes the real quandary where you're like, want to be a caregiver and then you have this whole thing called team members, systems processes, leadership management, banking, accounting, marketing. And it's like I saw that as an opportunity. I, I first started in direct mail in the 90s where it was called Money Mailer and we would mail out and market local businesses. And I saw the Internet coming out and I said, well, I don't think I'll be able to survive this. This looks like something pretty special. And I remember I was hanging out in dental offices, chiropractic offices, and I just fell in love with, I particularly love dentistry, chiropractic because of the more freedoms that they had around the less bureaucracy. And it was more of an entrepreneurial, creative type place, which is also a burden for, as, you know, like a burden for many practitioners. And you do amazing work at really helping them grow. So that's what I did. I went in, I sat in everyone's chair in a dental office. I, I chose dentistry specifically. I love chiropractic. I go chiropractic once a week. I'm, I'm a big believer in, in root cause medicine and, and thank you. You know, I found you and you know, 43 pounds less and no snoring. Sleep through the night, you know, feel vibrant, you know, thank you for your work. But in dentistry, I got to see very quickly that there was no business model for a dentist and there was no sales system and sales is, you know, looked at, it frowned upon. And so I invented a business model. I sat in everyone's chair in a dental office. I sat as a patient, I sat as a hygienist, I sat in every chair. And I, I'm a big reverse engineer guy, reverse engineered a business model. I, I'm, I'm, I'm expert in two particular areas, business development and team engagement. Because you can have a business but if the team's not aligned and they're not engaged in what the true purpose behind the business is, I found you have this chaos and it's very difficult to produce an outcome or really an experience in a practice. So I codified that. We've delivered our methodology to over 7,000 practices in North America, Canada, US, Australia, you know, so it's been a real, took me around the world, wild ride and now we're actually rolling up, we have, we're rolling up practices like minded individuals and we're, we're selling them at multiples higher than the practitioner can get on their own. So my whole purpose behind my work was freedom. Providing financial freedom, emotional freedom, mental freedom around business, this complex thing called business in medicine and healthcare. And making it simple, taking this complexity, making it simple and then allowing the practitioner to do what they love to do and then when they're ready to exit, really allow them to get the worth of their practice. And so I spent a lot of years doing that and I just did an esop. It's an employee stock option for my team because I couldn't have done this without my team. And so they are now the owners of the business. And that was my, my personal exit. And now I'm starting a new company as you know, collaborating with you and, and other best in class, best in the world practitioners to bring about transformation in men's well being, you know, entrepreneurial men's well being.

I love that, I love that. A man of many hats, a man of, you know, one mission, which is to make the world a better place. And you do it in, in many different ways. So thank you for the work that you do. You've been a wonderful mentor to me. I've seen you as a father, as a husband, really up leveling constantly and it's helped me up level, you know, my relationship with my wife, my relationship with my son. So thank you for being such a source of inspiration. Not just on the entrepreneurial side of things, but, you know, perhaps in the things that matter more, the relationship that we have with the people that we love the most. And I want to acknowledge you for that, for being such a great role model for me. So thank you.

It's an honor. You know, we tend to get wrapped up in our identity in our businesses, and wrapped up, you know, because as entrepreneurs, it becomes our identity. And I'm. I'm now coming up on 17 years sober. Sachin, this is. This is another part of my story. And I got to the underbelly of what's underneath the alcoholism and the numbing, and I got to see that actually the identity that I had for my business was a harder addiction to break than alcoholism. That's how it ran for me personally. So we're bigger than our businesses, but they all are all consuming, usually, and we're obsessed with them. That's why we love them and that's why we're running a company and not really working for someone. But there's a way to break free from that and have it all right now, not some day when you sell or retire. And that's one of my missions, is to give people life today, not. Not someday.

Thank you. You know, one of the things that the people that are listening are, many of them are new to business. You know, like functional medicine, health coaching. These are, like, very new and emerging fields. They're not as established as, let's say, dentistry or chiropractic, traditional medical care. So there's so many new entrepreneurs or, you know, people who are entering into this ecosystem. I'm curious, what. What advice would you give somebody who's just starting out? You know, the who are, you know, just getting their feet wet, you know, just starting out in business. Are there key frameworks or mindsets or ways of looking at life or business or paradigms that can be helpful for them starting out?

Our friend Ben Hardy wrote a book called who, Not How. And I would spend less time trying to figure it out on my own, and I would find out somebody who you have aligned values with and just turn it over to them. I know it sounds scary, but like most doctors, they don't. I've never met a dentist who said, you know, I can't wake up this morning. I can't wait to wake up this morning and read my P and L and look at my statistics. Like, have someone set up a business model for you, and then I understand how it works, and then have. Have somebody sit down with you on the thing that you actually hate to do. We sit down with our doctors once a month and go over their P and LS and let them know where their money's going. They're never going to do that on their own. So like I really like a, a person who has integrity, who has purpose, who cares about it, who you hear that has a business model already built and then just don't try to figure it out because for, to you, to, for you to get an mba, for you to understand the pitfalls, for you to understand all those things and you're a new practitioner, you might be sitting there going, I can't afford a coach. Well yeah, you can figure out a way to do that. There's coaches that guarantee results, that guarantee that they're going to pay for themselves. Those are the coaches you want to work with. And instead of trying to figure it all out because it's trial and error and like you're trying to read out a book and then try to apply it and then you have your own belief systems. The thing I've, I've learned is like there's myths and, and limiting beliefs that we have. If you don't. There's two different brains that it takes to run a business, you know, and, and be a caregiver. The, the one brain who is like, you know, giving and caring for and then there's like another, you know, brain where you have to like know structures and, and numbers and systems and know how to confront things. You know, a lot of our dentists, I always say this is, I, I designed our methodology for the non confrontational man or woman, you know, who is, who hates PNLs, who hates to run a business and you just make it easy for them and you, you get it done for them and then this way you can just go be a, be a great doctor. We need more of that in the world. We need more functional medicine doctors speaking their message and putting a business model that works in place because then you can put 80 to 90% of your time focused in on what you, you chose to do in the first place anyway.

Yeah, and I totally agree with everything that you shared. One of the challenges that, that I encounter when you're speaking with newbie practitioners especially is they're afraid to invest in their business. Yeah, they're afraid to invest in, you know, in hiring a coach or hiring a mentor or you know, hiring a marketing team to kind of take these things off of their plate because perhaps they're afraid to go into debt. And of course there's good debt and bad debt. And I think most people probably understand the difference between buying shoes and not being able to afford them and buying a coach who can, you know, who can potentially pay for itself, hopefully. What is the, the mental barrier or framework that needs to break in order for them to see that light? Because I think contextually it makes sense and from the left brain perspective, yeah, it's very logical. But what needs to change for them in the way they think in order to make that investment in themselves?

I wrote a book called raise your health. You deserve level in practice and in life. You don't get what you deserve, you get what you think you deserve. The worthiness of self is the number one thing I find because there's an unworthiness to go. I don't deserve that. I, I don't deserve to have somebody come in bright. I'm young, I'm new, I gotta struggle. By the way, we're gonna talk about struggling hopefully today because I'm, I'm, I used to have, I had it all. I have a beautiful wife, Judith, as you know, beautiful son, Rome, who's overcome autism through functional medicine methodologies and biomedical treatments, who couldn't speak when he was five and now is at Walter Cronkite school of journalism in Arizona State, being a play by play sports broadcaster on the radio calling D1 games. So yeah, and like my wife and I were struggling with it, like struggling. I always say this pain is necessary. That tells you you got to make a change. Suffering is optional. Your relationship to it. When you can shift your relationship to things, that's when things open up because circumstances in life is going to happen. You're, you're. I go to school, I become a functional medical doctor. I now have this challenge. This is painful to me to run this business. Then there's like the beliefs in here called. What I find is the. It's not that they don't have the money. It's not that they don't want to take the risk. It's the wor. The worthiness of self I found is the. I'm a root cause guy when it comes to developing a business. Like, you know, that's how I help root cause doctors express their root cause work. So I like getting to the root cause emotionally where people get stuck. And I wrote a whole book about it in my third year of sobriety. This book came through me in 10 hours. It took me 10 hours to write this book. My first book was, you know, 10 years probably. But this book came through me and it was about the being, doing and having of life. Beingness is who, how you show up for yourself and others. Purpose driven, being of service, caring, put together, dressed, wise beingness, who you be about, what you do. The do part is like, all right, are you selling transactionally? Are you selling procedures or, or are you selling, you know, a, a lifestyle? Are you selling health? Like getting, getting in relationship to what do you actually do and provide in your practice? And then the big thing, the blind spot that I found and I had this for me, was that in life and in business, you don't get what you deserve, you get what you think you deserve. So there's two types of beingness. The chronic way of being, which is down here in the voices that are in your head, and the social way. Most people say, oh, I deserve to have a Porsche 911, oh I deserve to have this or whatever your thing is, you know, I, but having help, especially for men, I, I, this is a gender thing. Women are women dentists who come to us, they're like, I don't know what I'm doing, I need help. Show me the way and follow the system. Like, don't you as a, as a doctor, when you give protocols and like supplementation and all this stuff, like if they don't follow your procedure, you can't get them well. So I learned this thing called worthiness of self and then surrendering to win, surrender to somebody who's already figured it out. Follow the system. Like, I couldn't lose a pound of weight for 20 years and in six weeks I lost 44 pounds with your metabolic reset program.

How cool was that?

I'm a new human being. I'm sexier, I feel sexier, I make love with the lights on. I like, you know, I, I mean it's. So many things happened. My wife did it. She's like, we're 62. And she's like, feels like she's 25. She's never felt as good. She took tennis lessons. She's like so self expressed. But we didn't know what we didn't know. And so, and by the way, if I didn't shift my worthiness of self to have a body that was 178 pounds, like my high school, you know, weight. If I didn't shift that identity like you teach and allow myself to have a healthy body and not suffer, I'm not going to take the actions. That's the procrastination, that's all the stuff that comes inside of worthiness of self. That's why that is the most root cause I found for an entrepreneur, you.

Know, to speak into that a little bit. When we first met, well, maybe the second time we met, which was in Vegas, you came up to me afterwards and said, will you help me with this? And I don't know if you remember, but I said, only if you do exactly what I say. And you said, I'm in. And you surrendered. Right. And you trusted the process, you trusted the journey, you trusted perhaps other people's experiences, and you said, I'm in. And you follow the process to a tee. And here we are having this conversation. So, you know, you're not just. You're not just saying this for the intentions of this podcast or this interview. You actually live this way. And I'll come back to it in just a second. But there. There's an example that will. That will highlight as to what you talked about, with pain and surrender and suffering being optional. Because, you know, not everyone realizes that there's so many people that are in pain, and virtually everyone has pain at some point in their life, but the problem is they suffer. And the suffering is, is really the tragedy, not the pain. Pain is. Pain is inevitable, right? As the Dalai Lama says. And the suffering part, or might be Buddha that said it, that, you know, pain is. Pain is inevitable and suffering is optional. And it sounds great as a little quote or a Facebook post or an Instagram, you know, meme, but when you're in the thick of it, right, that's when. That's when you get. Really get to see who's doing the work. And if you're open to sharing, I know you went through a challenging time this past November when you had a bit of a. Bit of an accident. Do you want to dive into that and share a little bit more?

Yeah. I love cycling. I'm a cyclist. I love road cycling. I love mountain biking. And when. The day my mom died. I live here in Arizona full time and part time, and. And I went out and I did my mountain bike ride. I always visit my. My mom out there. When she passed, she passed away from COVID April 2, two weeks into Covid. And I didn't know what to do, so I just got on my bike, I needed to move, and I went out there. And that's been my connection to my mom. So I was just feeling that. And I didn't tell anybody I was going out for a mountain bike ride, my wife or anybody, and I just went out and I went out and I was on my bike and then I was being Awakened by my Apple watch. And it said, emergency sos And I was looked down, and it was the Scottsdale Fire Department. And I couldn't answer it because I couldn't move left or right. And so I said, siri, please answer. And said, this is Captain Gary. I go, well, that's me. He goes, I got alerted by your Apple watch that you had a hard fall. Are you okay? I said, I had a hard fall. I don't know if I'm okay, but I'm alive and I'm, I'm moving my fingers and toes. And he's like, okay. He goes, where are you? And I explained. He goes, well, we can't find you that way. We're going to send a drone to find you. And that's when I knew, okay. I'm like, all right. You know, I kind of woke up out of a blackout. They send the drone. I'll never forget the drone buzzing above my head, and I'm waving to it. Then they send guys out on motorcycles and 4x4s, and they kept, they were going to airlift me out, but I, I, I, I chose against it. And they. Six men actually walked me about two miles to the trailhead, took me to the hospital. And I had a broken femur. I had a broken right hip replacement. So I had a hip replacement that went into my femur and split and then a broken clavicle. And so I was in shock, and it was pitch black. It took me four hours to get out of the desert. My wife was waiting for me at the trailhead. And, you know, it's been 13 weeks since that time. And I can honestly say, which is, you know, through this work that we're talking about, I was in pain. I'm still, I still have glimpses of pain here and there, but I never suffered. And I actually this. And, and I share this because I had suffered a lot in my life. I had chronic suffering and zero joy. And I flipped that. And I, I play the game called chronic joy and zero suffering. And I didn't have to at first. I had to consciously think about bringing joy to myself. Like, I used to write gratitude lists. That's where I was, like, forcing myself to get there. This was just an innate thing where I just, I was the patient, but I was bringing joy to nurses. Still to this day, they're texting me. They, they had the mantra, zero suffering. Chronic joy. Excuse me. Just the, oh, that's the other thing. I feel my feelings and express them.

That's what I love about you.

Thank you. There was a time when I didn't, you know, and I'm just moved by the generosity and the service of the men and women. I had probably a hundred people, hundreds of people take care of me, and I still talk to so many of them. And I go back to the hospital in the rehab and. And, you know, this wasn't done to me. It was done for me. And I have the privilege of going through this experience and having so many blessings happen. But I couldn't see those blessings in the past because I was a victim to things. And I was. I had the world happening to me, Sachin. And. And three miracles happened within three days. As you know, one of my dream. One of my favorite things to do is I love cars. And my dream was design a car. And you were there that day when I was designing it and pick it up in Germany and drive it around the Autobahn. And we, my wife and I, created it as our. Our second honeymoon, 20th anniversary. And we said, you know, we have no regrets because we understand the universe and God are always guiding us and whatever's supposed to happen happens. But we have preferences. We. We like saying we have preferences. And there was two preferences that I said I had. I. I lost a friend 17 years ago when I quit drinking. And my sister and I are just opposites, and we're not connected.

And.

And literally within two days, my sister calls and says, I'm coming to see you. And we had 10 hours of uninterrupted connection. And we've been talking every day since. We've never been so close. And then my friend, who I lost touch with, that I called a couple of times, and he was just unwilling to talk. He calls me and says, I'm so sorry. I. I want to be your friend. I miss you. Can we be friends again? And we've been so connected. It was like we missed. We didn't miss one day of 17 years. It was like we're back connected again. Life happens. And miracles are happening all around us, but we can't see them because we're usually clouded by the voices in our heads. I call it the unevictable in a roommate that I used to believe. Now I don't. I don't buy into those thoughts because that's not who I am. That's not who I am. I'm not my thoughts. And I thought I was. I believe them.

Paint me a picture, or paint us a picture of perhaps this happening before you've done the work. And I'd love to get into some of the work that you've done on yourself, what would this have done? The same, the same incident, what would that have looked like? You know, let's call it 20 years ago.

You're a good interviewer, man. That's a good question. That is a great question. Well, I'll tell you, I would have been a victim to the situation. I would have brought everybody around me down. I'll give you an example. Alcoholism is a, is a family disease. It brings the whole family down. It is also, I've learned, a family recovery. So the family recovers when you recover. In learning that, when I went down, we had a trip to New York planned and my wife was like, I can't go. I shouldn't go. And I took on a mantra called today's better than yesterday. When any, anytime, everybody asked me how I'm doing, I go, today's better than yesterday. I would find something today better than yesterday. And it wasn't like waxing on positivity. It was. I would have not done that before. I would, they would have been, how are you doing? And, God, I can't take this pain. And I'm like, horrible. And I. And like, can you come see me? And I have my wife, like, suffering next to me in the bed. Like, she doesn't want to be. I mean, she would be like, if I wanted her to be there, she would be there. But, like, I go, honey, you went through this and you went through this injury with me. You waited for four hours till I got out of the desert. I was told that I was in for surgery for two hours. I was in surgery for five hours. I couldn't imagine what it would be like. The me before would have been unconscious about the impact that my circumstance had on everybody else. I had zero consciousness because I was so self consumed of surviving. See, once you start breaking the worthiness of self and start getting that, you don't live in survival anymore. I didn't know that was the breakthrough moment. Self love. I, my, my wife goes, here's another example. She goes, can you have some compassion for yourself and me? I go, I do have compassion, Judith. Right? And I hated myself 20 years ago. And then what I did was I spent my whole life proving to the world that I was okay. We don't realize we do this. You know, I've studied. I speak a lot about men because I don't know if women have the same thing, but there's the arc of a man. The first arc is, is getting the love that you didn't get. That you wanted. That is the first octagon that you battle with. Usually a man with his father. So wanting to get love or be loved is like the first, first arc of a man. The next one is the Empire. Okay, kids, payroll. Um, all the things that it takes to live in the world and be a parent and be a entrepreneur and be a doctor. Like, that's the octagon you're grappling with. And the last one is the octagon with your ego. Because when you're ready to exit your business, all there is is you with yourself. And that self is usually, I always say your ego is not your amigo, right? It's like you're there. It's you and only you. And it's like, what do you do when you're empty nested when you don't have a business? Like when I didn't have a schedule, I freaked out. Sachin. So my point, going back to your question, I'm trying to lay some groundwork here to say in the past, when I was personally in pain and I wasn't dealing with that, I would inflict pain, shame and guilt on others and bring them down with me so I could feel comfortable. This time I had this situation. I gave life to that third shift at night that they go home on. They work all night. Saturday night when I got to know them, I got curious and I said, well, where are you going tomorrow? She goes, I'm going to church, right? When I get off my shift, I go, you're kidding me. And then I go, where are you going to do? Then they go, we're going to go feed the homeless down in central Phoenix. I'm like, you're my hero. And I wouldn't have paid attention. I would have said, can you change my urine samples? I mean, not samples, but like, I, I couldn't get out of bed. It took three men to get me out of bed. So I had to, I had to pee in bed and they had to change my urine. And I'm like, it's sort of like when I look at you, like your grace, the grace you give to people, I wasn't built that way. I have that now. But going back to the guy 20 years ago was all about me and what I can get and how do I get it. And I was so in fear and I was so like self consumed and trying to prove to the world that I mattered, that I couldn't see, hear, or feel or think or love like I can today. And this is all I want to do, is Give this away. And that's why sharing this is a real gift to me today.

I love it. I can see how it lights you up, and it's lighting a fire in me, too. So maybe, Gary, you can build that bridge for us. From you, let's call it 20 years ago, to you today. What are some of the tools, the resources, the assets, the people you brought into your life to, to help you get to where you are today?

The first thing I, I would say is integrity. I, I was not a man of my word. I had a, A coach, I had this business, and I failed. I, I was 25 years old, and I owed 800 grand in debt, and I was like, I, I, I, you know, I'm going to learn a lesson from this. So I hired this guy. His name was Roger. And he basically said, you know, you're, you know, you're a great businessman, but you, you're not a man of your word. Nobody can trust you. I go, what are you talking about? He goes, I'll teach you. He goes, you ready to learn? I go, yeah, whatever. I don't want to do this again. I, I want to help others not do this. He said, well, you're. Every minute you're late, you're going to pay me $100. This one. I had no money because I failed. I. He goes, 36. He goes, Time to reconcile. Reconcile for what? Because I shook his hand. I made an agreement with him. I didn't know I was making verbal agreements with people. Every. I would say, hey, we're going to do lunch. And I wouldn't do lunch. I would just say it just because I said it. So I didn't bring power to my word. And he said, you're 36 minutes late. You owe me 3,600 bucks. Well, I said, no, I'm not going to do it. Three weeks later, I called him up, and it was the days of checks. I figure, like, he's going to come over, we're going to make dinner, I'm going to give him the check, he's going to rip it up. I learned a lesson. He goes, he walked out of my house, and he goes, thanks for everything. He goes, that's going to be the best $3,600 you ever spent. And it brought tangibility to my word. So when I give my word to something, it's my bond. And what I, you know, there's times that I give my word to things and maybe break down or not able to do it. I learned to acknowledge that, hey, I was like today, I thought I was late today to our meeting and I said, sachin, I checked in with time and I was ready to take responsibility for being late. And I wasn't late. I just had the wrong time. But, like, I'm very conscious that that is the foundation. See, integrity is the foundation for workability and scalability. You can't scale past yourself if you're not trusted with your word. And so, like, you know, I wasn't trusted with my word with my wife either. But that was another thing that came into my life as my wife. She gave me two things. She said, look, if you want to be with me, number one, I'm not interested in having a mediocre life if you. I'm not your girl, if that's what you want, because we're not going to do mediocrity together. I want a man who's going to play full out, you know, live the dash, the dash between born and dead. And we're going to go into grave sliding saying, we did it all and we had it all. Like, I'm like, okay, I can play that. And then she said, if you cheat on me, trust is the foundation for everything. I only want to be with one man. I want to be with you. But if you are, if you think you are and you're going to use your. Because, you know, I was super charismatic back in the day. I could do.

Still are. Don't, don't take that away. You still are.

I don't see myself that way. But before, I would have to wax it on for people like me because I didn't like myself, you know, so I, I thought I had to be funny and smart and I thought I had to be all these things and it, I didn't need to be any of those things. I just needed to be myself because people actually love me for who I am. But I didn't love myself, so I didn't think other people would love me. That's why I was seeking external validation rather than the worthiness of self, right? So I would say integrity from Roger. I would say setting a standard of living in life. Because my favorite term is like, when did you make the unacceptable. Acceptable. I love when I coach people.

That's powerful.

What's that?

That's powerful.

Yeah. Tell me what you got from that.

You know, I think many people, right, they just settle for mediocrity and sometimes it's in small things in life and, and then it, you know, translates and mutates into the big things in life, you know, how you do one thing is how you do everything. And I'm trying to teach that to my 14 year old son where, you know, he gets reprimanded in a loving way for the little things, right? And he sees them as the little things. Oh, dad, it's not a big deal. And I'm like, no, it's, it's, you know, Jim Rohn says that if you learn how to manage pennies, they'll trust you with millions. And so you've got to like take every little thing that you do because it's all part of, it defines who you are, it defines your character. And I remember when I just came back from an Ayahuasca journey, as you know, and some people might know this, who are listening to this and everyone who left their beds, like we had these mattresses and beds and pillows and stuff, like it looked like a war zone. And my, all my blankets and everything were neatly folded like military style. And people were just watching in awe and shock and they felt almost embarrassed to be next to me because everything that I left was like super tidy. And so how we do one thing is how we do everything. And I think most people break the most important promises, which is the promise to themselves. And when we do that, it just shows up in so many creeps into so many other areas of our life. So that mediocrity to me is unacceptable. So my philosophy is the best or nothing. It's kind of the philosophy of Mercedes Benz. I don't know if they follow through with that necessarily, but it's the best or nothing. I'd rather not have something or not do something if I'm not going to do it to the best of my capacity and capability. And I feel like that served me in so many different ways. And I love that you said that because when did we make the unacceptable acceptable? If we just did an inventory of our lives of the things that are, are, you know, maybe at one point we're unacceptable that we've kind of, you know, turned our, turned a blind eye to or we've come to terms with, then I think a lot of people could just. If that's all you learn from this conversation, it's worth its weight in gold, you know, to, to just do that personal inventory of, you know, what, what, what have you just kind of learned to accept? And if we make those things unacceptable, we can live an amazing life in a very short period of time just by releasing the, so those, those things that, you know, are just, you know, mediocre in our Lives.

Yeah. So, like, if you look at, I. I look at three things. Connected relationships, simplified health, and bulletproof money. Like, those three elements, right? If we look at those, you know, in connected relationships, it's being vulnerable. I call it vulnerable. Vulnerable. I can't even say it wrong. I just made that term up. Vulnerable. I love it. Most people think vulnerability is a weakness. It's strength. Right. So vulnerable. Strong. Right. Those two things together, that's how you have connected relationships. Right. And then really surrendering and. And like surrendering to the science and surrendering to the protocol that's given you from a healthcare provider. And whether that's mental health, because I had severe mental health issues in my family and physical health and emotional health. So those three things, those three areas of health, I found. You know, we were talking earlier, my sponsor said, gary, I'll be your spot. Just like you said to me, I'll be your sponsor. He goes, if you're willing to get sober, anything I say to you, you're going to do. If you're unwilling to get sober, you're not going to do it. I'm not going to carry you up the hill like Sisyphus.

He.

And then he gives me this quote. This was a good quote. He or she convinced against her will is of the same opinion still.

Yeah.

It's an inside game. If I say yes out here, and I don't have. My grandfather used to say, gary, when the tongue in your mouth matches the tongue in your shoe, just like Roger told me, when the actions meet the. The. The verbal commitment, and then there's structure behind it. Like your program has structure behind it. Whether you're developing a practice or metabolic reset, you just follow the structure. And that's what I invite business owners. You can actually decentralize yourself and put you in, like I. My new business. All I do is I go on podcasts, my own and others, and I deliver programs, coaching programs for entrepreneurs. That's all I want to do. And I have everything else done for you. There's not one thing I do that I don't love to do, because this is what happened. I turned 60 and I go, oh, my God, I got to slow down time. How can I create? I can actually create more time. Because if I'm not in misery 90% of the time, and I have joy 90% of the time, I just bought a ton of joyful time, which I can for the next 20 years, 30 years, whatever I can crank out. And. And it was. It was. I just made. I'm not Doing things I'm not good at anymore. Unacceptable. I'm not doing things that I don't like doing anymore. Unacceptable. And then guess what happens? The universe gives you the solution. It comes to you. All the answers came to me. I didn't have damn things action. I'm not kidding you.

No, I, you know, I'm, I'm living in that energy right now, you know, just coming out of my journey because I got some very clear messages. And, and not, not to say that I was living in mediocrity, but there were some things that I was putting off or maybe I didn't have the deserve level. I thought that I did, or maybe I thought I did, but I wasn't acting on it. Right. So, you know, one of the lessons that we learned when we were at Rythmia was, was about Gandhi and how Gandhi, when they asked his wife what made Gandhi such a remarkable human, and they said his, his thoughts, his words and his actions were all in alignment. And for some people, you know, maybe two or three of those are in alignment, but that's, you know, that's going to take you off course over, you know, a pretty quick, you know, period of time. But when all three of those things, and I like what you said, the visual is very clear. Like when your tongue in your mouth matches a tongue in your shoe. When you do what you say you're going to do, then, you know, then you're a reliable person, you're trustworthy, people can depend on you. But then opportunity also finds its way to you because opportunity also looks for integrity. And it's not just looking for people who are smart and capable, but people who live by their word and do what they mean and mean what they say and, you know, live in alignment. And if any, if, you know, if people can do more of that, like practitioners, it's so, it's hilarious, you know, like, I have, I have a client right now and I won't, I won't name names, but, you know, we came up with payment terms for him. Actually, he came up with the payment terms and, and you know, when, when it's time to pay, he ghosts us and we're like, man, like, how do I teach him a lesson? Because he can't keep doing this because he's probably doing this in other areas of his life. He's probably doing it to his wife, he's probably doing it to his kids, he's probably doing it to his patients. Because if he's doing it to me, who's helping him make money who's helping him become successful? What is he doing to the people that are not doing that for him?

You know, worthiness of self.

Yeah.

That's at the root. And here's what we know. I just want to add to that, Sachin. He probably has his patience doing it to him because he made that unacceptable thing acceptable. So guess what? If you believe in the universe, the universe gives you what you give to it. And if you're doing that to you, it becomes acceptable for the people in your universe called your patients not to pay you. It's directly connected. The minute you clean. The first thing we do when we go into a practice is clean the integrity up. Because if you don't operate from integrity, like make promises, what are the agreements? What are the agreements with the team? What are the agreements with patients? You know what's mind blowing? When we first go into practices, there's no agreements on how to pay. Like none. It's like whatever kind of comes up. And then there was no accountable person dealing with payment terms. So it was a free for all. If you kind of went through the front desk and paid, it was a good thing. That's the worthiness of self at its root.

Yeah. So it, it makes me wonder then if this is happening to me, like, where am I doing this? Right? So. So I'd love any guidance on that because I'm trying to think internally, like, do I owe anyone money? Do I? Am I like not keeping my agreements? And I'm having a hard time unpacking that because unless simple.

This is a simple one. If you allow him to stay in your universe, then you, a wheel has integrity of 100%. The minute you let one person in and crack that integrity, you're going to start seeing integrity breaches on your team, with other clients, with patients, with your family. It just, you got. That's one thing that we are rock solid on, which is if we make an agreement and it's broke, we give people chances. Like we call it the aid system, because people forget. So if we make agreements, make and keep agreements and then we have. This is how we deal with people who break agreements. The AIDS system. I asked you, right? I intend, I intend, I demand. And then we enforce and then we suspend. So we really give people five times, hey, do you remember our agreement that we said you're going to come up with this. We don't go in like they're doing it to us. We go, hey, did you remember what the agreement was? We take them back to the original agreement. That's the ask and then we insist. Well, we understand that, but like, I just want you to know, like, we can't. We're happy to serve you, but integrity is the foundation of our work. And if we, if we keep breaking these agreements around payment terms, it affects my ability to serve you. And I don't want to compromise my ability to serve you. Then it's demand. Hey, we just had two conversations. This is my, really my last. And by the way, we do this with team members too. If you're showing up late, like that's a breach in integrity, which allows patients to show up late. All of it is all the universe that you hold gets expressed in all areas and it's the unacceptable becoming unacceptable. You're telling the universe that that unacceptability is acceptable and then it starts creeping into your world and before you know it you have a broken down jalopy.

Thank you. Thank you. That's very insightful. I can already like visualize the email that I'm going to send after this conversation. I appreciate that because you have the.

Email set up already. The ask email, the insist email, the demand, the enforce, and the suspend.

Oh, I love that. Yeah. Because it's been an ongoing issue with this particular person and it just takes my team off of what they need to be focused on. Right. We're not a collection agency. And not to make this about me, but for anyone who's struggling with something like this, this is a great framework for us to create integrity and boundaries for ourselves. And you know, if we let, if we let one or two people do it, then, you know, it kind of gives permission for everyone else to do it as well. And maybe in other areas. Right. Maybe it's, you know, maybe they're not just compromising you financially, they're compromising you time wise or energetically. So thank you. Thank you for that framework.

My pleasure. I'll give it to you in the metabolic reset context.

Sure.

I was just down in the Montage in Los Cabos, by the way. Magical place. Magical, mystical, spiritual, amazing place. And you know, they had this amazing gluten free donut that I like started cracking and then I started having that and I go, oh yeah, I can have that and then I can have the gelato and then I can have this. And before I know it, I'm loading up with sugar and then I come home and I have this new addiction to sugar that now I'm just going to go back on the metabolic reset for a couple weeks, but I have to reset myself because I Cracked in, went outside of my space. And I, I've been doing that, but it became a daily thing and yeah, it's a perfect example of that.

Yeah. Thank you for sharing. Now you've also, you know, have. You have several mentors that you've worked with. And I know you're really big on surrounding yourself with the right people that can support you in different areas of your life. Do you mind sharing some of the people that you work with, I know they're part of a collective that you've put together with life on all cylinders. I'd love to hear how they've impacted you as well.

Yeah, well, you know, over the years, you know, finding good mentors, finding people that are aligned, finding people that have saw a common trait for me, the thing I learned was people that are enforcing and like boot camping and like, did never work for me. So I, I probably spent hundreds of thousands of dollars and many 10,000 hours to learn the different realms. And, you know, I was talking about connected relationships. So I work with a gentleman for my mental health, Dave Adamusco. And he, he also helps me with, with Judith and I, we went through a tough time where we, we moved out of New York City to Arizona. We had empty nesting. I had a hip replacement. And he really. We weren't communicating well, helped facilitate that. So from a marriage perspective, I have a coach, and that's Dave at a Musco. And then my. I worked with him for seven years. I found him out of the Karen breakthrough course. Very good course. If, you know, I didn't go to rehab after my. I just went to an alcoholic program. But that program was really good too. And I and Dave led that program. And then I started working with him individually. He's unbelievable for mental health and, and also for marriage counseling, marriage coaching, and then my wealth. I'm a street kid from New Jersey, came from nothing such. And I was told to go work for a corporation and If I made $75,000 a year, I should be happy and you know, just retire with, you know, with a brown package. And. And Jim do and do wealth. Do wealth is a. They have a virtual family office. And I had no idea what a virtual family office is. Basically, billionaires have this. Jim do created this. The concepts that are used for billionaires and he uses it for millionaires. And it's the best program on the planet. It's about making rich real. Because what rich is for one person and wealthy is for another person is all different. And it's all about the inside. He believes that money is an inside job. And that's what I believe. I always say bankruptcy doesn't exist with banks, Sachin. It exists with. If I feel bankrupt, I bankrupt my life around me. And so Jim puts together and then usually we have silos and we have to be in the middle of like our wealth management. And he has everybody talking together and it's not me in the middle of it, it's. I have a coach and I meet with them once a week. It's a game changer. I, for men's health, I go to Gio Espinosa who, you know, testosterone ed, all that stuff. He's prostate health. Amazing. You are my health practitioner. I recommend you to every human being. I, there's not a day that goes by that I don't have a conversation, as you know, because pretty much every day I'm referring at least one patient to you. I don't know. I got to be close to 100 soon, right?

We're getting there. Thank you. I'm so grateful.

Yeah. Because it's easy for me when I find someone who's great at what they do and has a structure and a system to it, by the way. It's one thing to have a person who's good at what they do, but if I look for like what is the systematic approach that allows it to be sustainable? Because if it's not sustainable, it doesn't work. So, you know, you're my, my health coach, my wife, my son and my whole inner circle has, you know, worked with you. We probably collectively help people lose thousands of pounds and sleep better and relax better and all that. And then I, I work with Carolina, who is an amazing leader of the Course in Miracles. And if you're really interested in really learning, I call it practical spirituality. But it really, I'm not in a, I'm not a religious guy, I've been Catholic. But I really want, I really was interested in learning more about spirituality and how I can find my God and where does he exist and who is it? And you know, I really do a lot of work with the Course in Miracles. I think it's a really beautiful program. So yeah, these are some of the, the advisors and mentors that I've amassed and put together for men's coaching, a high achieving men's coaching program for entrepreneurs. Male entrepreneurs that just want everything done in one one stop shop. Like I'm the quarterback, I'm the host and I, I codify everything. I give everybody the top line stuff. And then if you want to go Deep with everybody. They just go and hire everybody, you know, from there.

So I love, I love your new kind of identity as, as a dj, you know, helping, you know, playing the greatest hits, so to speak, and, you know, putting together a mixtrack of, of your favorite people, your favorite, you know, people that have poured into you and, and people who, you know, are ready and willing to pour into others. It's, it's been such a blessing to, to get to know you and, and to be part of your ecosystem and to, to gain your trust and to see you transform and to help transform your family and, and, and also your community. We've had the, the blessings and privilege to work with many of the dentists that you coach and train and thank you for all these opportunities that you've provided me. And you're just such, such a ball of light. You know, there isn't a day that goes by that we don't talk about you in our house either. So if your ears are ever ringing or burning, it's because Deepa and I are probably having a conversation about you and how much of a blessing you've been in our lives. So thank you for, you know, not just in our business, but in our personal lives, which I think to me and to you, is far more valuable than our businesses. But of course, the best is yet to come. As I say, I know there's so much work that we're going to do together and continue to grow and contribute to a greater good for everyone involved. Gary, there's so many lessons that you can unpack. And I know we've, you know, I've asked you a lot of questions, but what's something that I haven't asked you that people should know about you or something that can be beneficial for our audience to learn more? And I'd love to definitely direct them to learn more about the work that we're doing together with life on all cylinders. But what haven't I asked you that you think I should?

Wow. I mean, you're such a great interviewer. You know, we covered a lot of ground today. Well, you've stumped me here. I don't know really got me. You know, I, I usually start, you know, I. At my desk, I have this Henry Ford quote that says whether you think you can or you think you can't, either way, you're right. And I love that quote. I also love, you know, I think it's Maya Angelou. I don't. I think it's. The other quote I love is never doubt that A small group of thoughtful, committed citizens could ever change the world. And indeed, it's the only thing that ever has. So when I take those two quotes together, you know, I think about functional medicine often. Like, you know, I, I, if I was 40, I would probably take that, that group on. You know, I'm working with a marketing gal, Maria the Healthy Digital, to help her get functional medicine voice out in the world. Because I think more people need to know about it and know the truth about it, you know, so whether you think you can or you think you can, if you're sitting there, like, just know that you can. And, and if you know, there is always a way, you know, I, I, I would always give up hope. There was times when I gave up hope with my son's autism. And my wife said, you know, keep reading to him. I would read Goodnight Moon to him every night, Sachin. Every night. Good night, Moon. He was flapping his arms, he was toe walking, he was looking at the fans, wouldn't look at me. And she goes, keep reading to him. She goes, he was diagnosed with autism. He's not autistic. We can go to work, we can get him better, we can heal him, and God can heal him. And, and his first word was moon. So, like, if you're sitting there, like, maybe not the question to ask me is, like, if you're sitting there hopeless, like, I was a street kid from New Jersey, came from nothing, destined to go nowhere. And really the blessing of, like, seeing that anything is possible, you know, I did a lot of work at Landmark Education, which I really love too. And that gave me the beginnings of transformation and the difference between story and, and fact. You know, there's facts, and then we, we're really living in a story around the facts and really bring breaking life down to anything's possible, and you just have to go find the way and really have the worthiness of self to step out, and then you just don't do it alone. You know, one of the things that I've learned is, like, through this whole process and all my journeys of alcoholism and autism and workaholism and divorcism, like, staring down divorcism, because my wife was having none of my, my, you know, alcoholic living was, I wasn't, my circumstances, I had circumstances, and I was doing the best I could with what I was listening to, which was my thoughts. And, and I realized that surrendering and asking for help is a strength, not a weakness, and being vulnerable is a strength. And so, you know, just allowing myself to Be myself was like how this all turned out. And I happen to have a skill set to build, build medical practices and help practitioners help more patients. That's what I do. That's what I've done my whole career. Now I'm helping men, high achieving men, live a life of chronic joy and, and, and zero suffering. So, yeah, I guess it's not a question, but it's kind of like what I wanted to say about, like, what's possible.

Yeah, you're such a beautiful example of all of those things. And you know, when, when you had your biking accident, I said, there's no better person for this to happen to than you. And not that I intended, you know, not that I ever wished that on anyone, but this is going to help you write a beautiful news story. And it, it's almost like a rebirth in many ways, to almost be born again, so to speak, and then have all these tools and resources and, you know, learnings and teachings and bring them back to the world. So you're really, it's kind of a hero's journey where you're coming back with the elixir for all of us. And I'm so grateful for our friendship. I'm so grateful to be able to work with you in a variety of different capacities. I'm so grateful that you're sharing this with our community. And I just want to give you an opportunity to tell us a little bit more about the work that you're doing with life on all cylinders. And perhaps those people that feel called would, would love to jump in and learn a little bit more, maybe tell us a little bit more about that and, and where we can go to learn more. Yeah.

May I share us? I have a couple of slides just to make it easy to, to share. Can I do that?

Yeah, absolutely. Go ahead.

Let's see what we got. I don't know if you saw my. Oh, here we go. So it's basically, you know. And by the way, I'm going to share this with you. This is called the Models Method. This is another mentor that's part of our group. If you have a hard time articulating what you do in functional medicine, I highly recommend getting Simon Bowen his newsletter. Simon Bowen of Models Method. That's what this is. So, you know, people come to you for health and people come to me for men's coaching, but that's not really what people want. You know, it's 10% of what we do. Yes, we coach men. That's the category. But what really we do see that's just the, that's a superficial thing, right? And you could say, well, functional medicine is this, this thing I do. But what people really want is they want connected relationships. See, you want to take functional medicine deeper again. I'm correlating that with what I'm doing with life on all Cylinders. What men people want coaching for is connected relationships, simplified health and bulletproof money. These things in the health area. It's emotional health, physical health and emotional health.

Right?

And you want to make a promise, make a bold promise. And here's the promise that I created for the company called life on all Cylinders. We believe that high achieving, entrepreneurial men deserve worthiness of self. And that's the priceless promise. Give people a priceless promise of your work. That's our belief. We believe everybody that's a mentor, Sachin, everybody that they deserve worthiness of self. And there's a model that we created. This is all that you can get from how to create this. So if the worthiness of self is in the middle and there's three promises, Connected relationships, bulletproof money and simplified health, the first thing you have to do is get grounded. And when I talk about groundedness, you have to go. Most people I used to mask up and put armor on from the day like you know, a fraud. I was like I was, you know, just, I was out here espousing all this stuff but inside I wasn't congruent and that's where that fraud comes from or listening to your voice. And there's three things that have to happen. First, you have to become aware that this is actually happening. Then you accept what's so you can't change unless you accept it. Wasn't until I said I'm Gary and I'm an alcoholic could I change and look for the solution that an alcoholic had. Before I did that, I was the guy who was like, ah, I got a little drunk last night or ah, slurred my words, ah, it's not that bad. And then you get into action. So it's awareness, acceptance and action. And that's how you get grounded. Then what happens is you get into taking responsibility. And there's a lot of guesswork in mental health. There's a lot of guesswork in physical health and there's a lot of guesswork in how to be emotionally, you know, sound. You find the people that do that. Sachin happens to represent the physical element of this aspect and he takes the guesswork out of it. You don't have to figure it out. And then I now know how to be healthy because I just follow what he taught me. And then the ultimate is how once you're grounded, then you're taking ownership. You're grounded mentally, physically and emotionally. Then you can get into soaring. You have a great platform and a great foundation, but you still might be trudging, might still be effortful.

Right.

How do you get to acceleration? Well, you build, you get your business structured, you get your systems in place, you get the right people in the right places, you get your right KPI set and you reverse engineer. I want to give this to all the doctors. If you get one thing about developing your business, don't live in a defaulted business, live in a design business. Figure out how many hours you want to work and how much money you want to make and then reverse engineer annually, monthly and daily how much you need to do. It's the simplest thing to do. And that will give you a framework and boundaries in order to operate inside of. If I dedicate this amount of money and this amount of time, this is how my lifestyle is going to be. And then the next is don't manage your own wealth. Find somebody that really understands once you make the money that you actually keep it, protect it and grow it. And that is a full time job. That's where do wealth comes in in this model. And then lastly is leverage. And I actually. Leverage sounds manipulative and I want to make sure it's clear. It's just creating space, creating space. You have to create space in order to step out of the automaticity. And I'll give you an example of the space that I created with Sachin. We emptied all of our cabinets in our kitchen and we started all over because we had to start with a blank slate in order to to fill in. The universe does not like a vacuum and we like creating vacuums of nothingness. So when we put something in, it's a catapult forward and you're starting from a brand new baseline. And now we have it filled with hummus and almonds and all goodness, not chips and all that other stuff. I like my peanut butter apples too. I'm not gonna lie, it's one of my faves.

I love it. And where can, where can people go to learn more?

Life on All Cylinders is a brand new website and and you can I. I'd rather have people email me directly. If you're in Sachin's community, you're a friend of mine and I'd like to just hear from you. My email is Gary G A R Y Life on all cylinders or all1word.com and I I answer every one of my emails and I'm a really safe space. If you got something out I would love to hear from you. Or if you're looking to accomplish something and you don't know how to do it, I'll give you my whole Rolodex and help you get wherever you want to be. It's just where I spend all my time now.

I love it. Such a servant leader. Thank you Gary. Thank you for blessing us with your time with which I know is very valuable and precious. And thank you for the energy that you bring to the world. Thank you for your friendship. I love you my friend, my brother and I'm so looking forward to giving you a big hug when I see you again.

Amen.

Lots of love. Have a great, great day. Thank you everyone for tuning in. I trust that you got some inspiration, some direction from our conversation today and I'm also trusting that you're going to put it into action. Here's to building your perfect practice and have an awesome, awesome rest of your day. Bye for now.