A Mother & Son Journey with Down Syndrome

of Success Secrets Exposed, where we have intimate conversations with today's thought leaders, changemakers, and of course disruptors to bring you tools, strategies, and insightful perspectives on personal and business growth, revealing the humanness of both success and challenge. I'm Sally A. Curtis, content repurposing whiz. We work with brilliant individuals to help them leverage their existing content and through engaging and bite-sized visual content. What we're best known for is turning books into 2 years' worth of dynamic social media posts. We provide a done-for-you service that amplifies your impact because you are sought after, sold out, and become the obvious expert in your industry. Now I'm really, really excited to be sharing a very heart-filled conversation with you today. Our topic is a mother and son's journey with Down syndrome. And I've got a beautiful guest, Wendy Hooton, who is a Down syndrome advocate, speaker, and author. Through healing, hope, and lots of humor, Wendy recounts her story of her son's unexpected Down syndrome diagnosis while offering support and resources for others. She's committed to highlighting the worth of people who are differently abled. She has 18 years' experience volunteering with a nonprofit organisation, and she has strong ties with her community and supporting other families. She balances this work with a demanding career, always maintaining the focus on her most important job, raising her son, Matt. Wendy lives in Utah. She lives a life of wild and unplanned adventures while entertaining her hilarious son. So please help me welcome to the show Wendy.

Hi.

Good morning. Good afternoon to you. I keep doing that this morning.

Well, good morning to you. Good afternoon to me.

And good afternoon, good evening, and g'day to everybody else. So thank you. I've been super excited to be able to share you and your adventures with Matt with our audience today. I think it's such an awesome story. So thank you for spending some time with us. It's really much appreciated.

Well, thank you for having me, Sally. I've been super excited. This— we've been waiting for this moment for a few months now, and I'm excited to be here. So it's an honor. Thank you.

Thank you. You're very, very welcome. I would love you to sort of start at the beginning if you can. Tell us a bit of the backstory and then we'll share some of the adventures as we move through our interview today.

Okay, great. I was 23 years old when I had my son and I had an easy pregnancy and, you know, no sicknesses or anything. And then a pretty easy delivery as well. And then just 3 hours after he was born, I was surprised With a Down syndrome diagnosis. It was unexpected. And at 23 years old, and back then, 32 years ago, I had very little exposure to people with Down syndrome. So needless to say, and unfortunately, I was experiencing all kinds of emotions. I was all over the place. I went from being angry and sad and confused. to grieving and, you know, trying to find the joy.

Mm.

And he was born 3 and a half weeks early, and he— so he had some jaundice. So he was in the NICU for a little while, so he had to stay in the hospital. Uh, you know, other than that, he was pretty healthy. He was born with a small hole in his heart which healed, but, um, those first few days I stayed in the hospital with him And because he was my only child, my first child, and I was so young, you know, I just did— I tried to find all of these imperfections they were telling me that, you know, were the symptoms of Down syndrome. And I couldn't find them. All I saw was this little baby.

Mm-hmm.

But at the same time, I was terrified. I was terrified of our journey, of his future, of my future. And I realized all I could do is, you know, love him and take it one day at a time.

And when you were in that hospital, I can only imagine, as you said, sort of the fear and the fear in the unknown. How did you go about, I suppose, arming yourself initially with the right information? Was it just delivered to you by the medical staff? Or were you— because, you know, it was, as you said, it was sort of 30-odd years ago. So what was that experience like for you?

Well, back then we didn't have the internet or, you know, all of those resources. All I had was the people that, you know, the nurses that came forward sending local representatives into my room so that I had a couple of people come and talk to me. I did have one person come in and tell me that, you know, if I didn't want him, I would be— it would be completely understandable if I gave him up for adoption because there were people out there that wanted these babies. And so that just caught me off guard as well, because I wasn't expecting that, you know, it was my baby. So, um, but I, I really didn't have the resources that— that's one thing that's really come a long way since then. So, but, you know, all I could do was kind of try to reach out to the organizations that I could find, but I had to get there. I had to be ready for that.

Yeah.

And I, I, I I speak to that, you know, we'll— I'm sure we'll talk to that about my book in a minute, but I do speak to that in my book. So

yeah. No, I'm happy for you to sort of elaborate onto that. I know you've— we were just talking about you've actually written 2 books. So if it's relevant to sort of bring that into it now, yeah, let's, let's talk about that. And then we can talk about the adventure side of things as we move through.

Okay. Well, so, you know, I've always wanted to write a book, and I've been keeping track of these stories that my son, you know, circumstances that he's put me in, how I had to work through them in 32 years. And there have been many.

Mm-hmm.

But when I started to write my book, my book was— I had a totally different plan. It was a book that I was going to, and I'm still going to do it, a co-author with him, kind of make like a children's book, a superhero children's book. And so, but during, during the pandemic and just, you know, as you're working from home and you're online a lot and, and you're seeing all of these social media posts from these new parents who are coming forward and, you know, sharing that they're having these same, um, emotions that I experienced.

Yeah.

That was a, that was a, a light bulb went on for me that, you know, while so much has come along. I mean, we've come a long way since I had my baby, but those emotions tend to still be there. Yeah. So I felt the universe guide me or tell me that I needed to share my story. I needed to show these parents, kind of be like a crystal ball into their future is what I, I like to think, you know, just show them that, you know what, Yeah, it's okay. Go ahead and feel the emotions you're feeling right now. You are not alone. And those emotions you may be feeling, there's no reason to feel guilty for feeling them because you're, again, you're not alone. But we, as time went on, I'm sorry, I just had a brain cramp. I call it menopause brain. But as I continued to watch these posts, I realized that these parents, you know, could benefit from my story. So that's when I started to compile all of these circumstances that I have been put through into a book. And it was just important to me to show the humor, you know, because since I've had my son, I've also been out to the library and I've gone to the bookstores and the resources I have been able to find. Yeah. You know, earlier, not necessarily right now, but they tended to be a little bit scary.

Yeah, and be limited. Now I'm just going to give the audience some context of why we're giggling a little bit when we talk about this book. So to reframe, Wendy's actually got 2 books underway. She's got an anthology book which is called Becoming Strong. So it's a little bit more about her— sorry, the book's called Share Your Brilliance, and her topic is about being strong, becoming that strong woman. The reason we're giggling about the book as it relates to the journey of Wendy and Matt is because the title of the book, and this will give you an indication to the adventures, the title of the book is called Big People Don't Pee in the Park. Which will set the stage for some of the stories and some of the adventures that we're going to come across. And if you have the chance and when you've got the chance, do jump onto Wendy's website, which I've just— have just put into the chat, because there's a beautiful Beautiful bio on there of Matt, and I was actually going to ask you, did Matt help? Did Matt actually write that? Because I have cried and laughed just reading those few lines, and it just, I suppose, amplifies the joy that obviously has come through all of the turbulent adventures you seem to have.

Actually, he did help me write that. You know, I made him sit down with me and told him— he saw my website and, and saw the picture that I was putting up with him and just said that, you know, I want to introduce him to everybody and how cool he is and what do we want the world to know about him. So yes, he did help me write that.

Yeah, beautiful. And for those that are a little bit— I'm going to tantalize you a little bit more. We have a green belt in karate. We're married to Katy Perry and we do dance moves and quote movies. But I'll let you elaborate on that as you go through. And then at the very end, he says, and oh, by the way, I've got Down syndrome. So worth a read. It's incredible. So without any further ado, I will pass it back to you, Wendy, to share some of the stories of perhaps about how the book title became about. It's probably a really great place to start.

So as I'm sure you can guess, there is a chapter in the book called Big People Don't Pee in the Park. And it's a story about we were at the park one day. And as most children do, he waited till the last moment to tell me he had to go to the restroom. And he come running

up.

And so we were rushing to find the restroom and it was locked. And so I turned around and I was trying to get my bearings and find out where the next restroom was. And I found it. But as I turned around, all I could see was his little bottom. He had his pants pulled down and he was peeing in the bushes. And I guess when you gotta go, you gotta go.

Yeah, absolutely.

But I, I instantly reacted, you know, Matt, stop. Big people don't pee in the park.

You

know, as soon as I said that and I shared it with some work colleagues the next day, we, we realized, hey, that would be a great name for my book. And this was like 20, 25 years ago. So it just kind of resonated.

Yeah.

But as I've been writing my book, the title, you know, just kind of resonates, the Navigating Through the Don'ts of Down Syndrome. And when I say that, I don't necessarily mean the don'ts like we think. I mean, like, don't, don't worry, don't forget to celebrate. Don't, um, gosh, just, just don't compare. Don't be afraid to, you know, reach out for help there. You know, there's just, there's so many don'ts that came to my mind as I was, you know, working on this book. And, and they're, they're positive don'ts, you know. Don't forget to smile. Don't forget to laugh. Don't forget to You know, just be happy and find the joys in life. So,

and I think too, what, what that and the conversation we've had before on that little bit on the website really, really emphasizes the amount of joy and adventure that you've actually, that you've actually had. Whereas I think, I imagine, sorry, that, you know, back in the earlier days when we weren't as aware of differently-abled people and all those sorts of things, it would be, you know, Matt wouldn't have been able to do, perceived, all of the things that he has gone on to do just like everybody else does. And I think that, that to me was what I saw was, you know, the beauty of allowing, letting the magic continue, being open to everything. So I think that sort of to me sort of really shows how the joy and the effervescence of this You know, adventure that you've had with, with Matt has just been quite extraordinary when you've got the right resources and the right people around you to help you see that and come out of the sort of dark of the fear and into that light. So

yeah.

Can you share some of the stories of, I suppose, some, and some of the stories that help to sort of demonstrate what people originally think versus what's the reality, reality of the the adventure and the joy?

Well, I— Matt's my only child, and, and I didn't have any parenting expertise other than babysitting jobs. So when I left the hospital, I just treated Matt like I thought I would treat any other child of mine. And as a result, I didn't know or set limitations for him. So I, I, if, if we wanted to do sports, you know, I signed him up for sports. If we— I didn't, I didn't know what he wasn't supposed to be able to do, I guess I should say.

Well said. Yeah,

yeah, yeah. So I just, you know, and there were times that I got pushback, you know, there, there are programs for, for kids like these, and, and you're asking too much of your son, and you're expecting too much of your son. And, and at times, you know, I thought, well, gosh, am I No, he does have Down syndrome. Maybe I am expecting too much. And maybe sometimes I am, but I won't let anyone tell us that. We try it, whatever it may be, whether it's karate, whether it's soccer, whether it's, you know, riding a bike. We try it first, and if it works, great, we've succeeded. If it doesn't work, we just move on, like with any child.

Yeah.

You know, we're— that's what I have learned is that And it's actually my friends who have told me that, you know, I would, I would be upset because he had done this or I'd experienced that. And as I was sharing my story with them, they would be, you know, their response would be, well, your child's no different than ours. And I went, oh, that's cool. I'm just a few years behind having these experiences. So that's the one thing that I do just want to call out is that these— those who are differently abled are just like us, you know, they just learn differently.

Yeah,

you know, so yeah.

And I think that's, that's the, the beauty of it, um, of— and that was the word I was searching for there. To me, when I've read some of the stories and we've spoken before, there was never any limitations. Um, there could have been, but there wasn't, um, because of just the the way in which you've approached it. And I think sharing that knowledge in that, in that form of that crystal ball for others is such a beautiful gift to the rest of the world. So yeah, thank you very much for sharing those. So tell us some of the adventures as you've got, I suppose, Matt into, into school and into those early, into those early years. So if we can just sort of talk about the journey that you've had over the sort of in 10-year increments, I think that would be very insightful for the audience as well, and how she becomes that stronger woman too.

Well, when he started school again, I didn't know what he wasn't supposed to be doing. So of course I just put him in school and I wanted him to have the same education that I had and that every other child is getting. And sometimes I would run into challenges just in getting him that education. Speech was really important to me. I wanted him to have speech therapy as much as he could get because in my mind way back then, I was seeing clear to the future. He was going to need to communicate with people. And yet at the same time, speech was something that I was getting a lot of pushback on. Academics, I wanted him to be able to read and write. And, you know, he struggled with numbers, which is not unexpected for somebody with Down syndrome. So I didn't push math because in my mind, I I can't do math. There's always a calculator. And now we have our phones. And so, you know, there's a way to get around that. But it was important to me that he read and write. And, and so when he started going to school, the push for inclusion was starting.

Yeah.

And so I tried to jump on that train. And then I realized that it didn't fit for Matt. So I could either have him in a classroom with 30 other children, you know, learning what they were learning, and he wasn't learning, or have him in his special education class where he could learn his reading and writing, and, and then push him back into PE and art and drama and all of those classes for the inclusion piece.

Yes.

So that, that's what I chose to do. for us back then, and even throughout, you know, his middle school years and his high school years. And the special education teachers and teachers in general, they were amazing, you know, for the most part. I mean, like I said, we did have our challenges, but he would not be who he is today if it weren't for many of them. So, and he does read, he loves to read, and he loves to write. And so I'm just glad that I thought and, and worked for what was the best for my son.

Yeah.

Now, nowadays, I know that inclusion is really, it's really a big focus. And I salute them. Kudos to these new moms who are coming aboard and they're power horses, you know, because there is no reason to separate them if you can get the resources to keep them in that classroom. And have that one-on-one aide or a two-on-one aide so that they can get their education. But inclusion is important because it, it's beneficial to the other kids as well.

And I would like to add to that. So when Rory— my son's 19 now and was just dashing out the door as we started— and his primary school was an inclusive school, and we had lots of differently abled children at that school and he learnt a different level of inclusion. He learnt patience and he became very strong in advocacy. If the other children were being, let's just call it being mean, he would go, no, that's— he learnt from an early age, no, stop it, which is something he learnt at childcare. And I always remember him saying to my nanny when mum spoke too much, nanny, stop it. He'd get— she'd get 2 hands. But that was something something he did in that primary, he would do his stop it when the other kids were being mean or picking on one of the other students. So I was really appreciative of having that opportunity. And it wasn't— we didn't choose that school because of that, it was just serendipitous, but it was such a great experience for him. And he's become quite a different child now, or adult now, and has the ability to move and accept anybody and everybody and meet them where they're at, which is, you know, in itself an extraordinary thing. extraordinary gift for a younger person in this age too. So thank you. Sorry, you've got something, you've got something.

I was just gonna say, and kudos to you, Mom, a great job. I mean, you know, he sounds like a good human being to be able to stand up like that against the meanies or the bullies or whatever you want to call them.

So. Yeah, thank you. He still doesn't see it in himself. But it's definitely there. He's got that very, very strongly advocacy-driven, which which is amazing, which is great. Now, on that note too, with Matt, from memory, he's also got employment. He's— No, no, he—

yeah. So when I left the hospital, I had these things in mind. Matt was going to get a job, he was going to get married, he was going to get his driver's license, he was going to go to college. I mean, I walked out those hospital doors carrying that baby, and those were the things that were going to happen for my baby. And as just like with any child, as he's grown, our dreams and goals have had to shift. And we had some comprehension challenges in the last few years. And as a result, you know, he's not currently working, but he's— I keep him busy. Mm-hmm. So he's had a lot of volunteering experience that he's done. He's involved in some adult day programs.

Yeah.

Where they go out into the community, and he's involved in an alumni bowling team, so he does that. And he— what was I gonna say? I mean, I just do my best to keep him busy. He very rarely just sits around. He never just watches TV all day. He's not that type of kid. He loves to do word searches and writing and all that, like I said. Speaking of writing, that book that I mentioned a little while ago, he and I are working on that. And so that's,

yeah,

that's going to be our next adventure. So when I say he doesn't, he's not working, he's not working for an employer. But, you know, he's, we've got some little projects on our radar that we want to work on.

Yeah, beautiful. That's, that's what I remember when we very, very, very First spoke, it must have been all of the different types of volunteer work that he was doing and the helping out in the community that he was doing. And I just assumed that that was just part of employment. But it's, as you said, it's his way of keeping busy and involved. And something else that I remember reading was that he actually does love movies and tends to recite movies at appropriate times. So share some of that with us. Sounds like he's a natural storyteller.

He's definitely a movie buff. Uh, we've started actually on social media doing, uh, Movie Quote Matts on— Movie Quotes by Matt on Mondays. Oh, because, because I would catch him just quoting movies as he, you know, would walk around the house or as we would be driving in the car. And so I thought, well, why don't I put this out there? And then the quotes just seemed to kind of have an underlying message. But yeah, he will just randomly you know, come out with some weird quote from a movie, or if we're listening to the radio and a song comes on, he knows immediately what movie that song belongs to. And so he'll start either singing the song or quoting that movie. So yeah, he's, he is a huge movie buff.

Yeah, yeah. We're kindred spirits. Tell, tell Matt, because I'm an absolute movie buff too. I don't go around quoting them, but I know all of it, you know, I know all of them. Oh, that's from that movie. And that's from that movie. So we're kindred spirits in that, in that sense.

He He would love that.

Yeah, very much so. So tell us what else from an adventure— and I'm going to use the word challenge— what else do we need to share with the audience as it relates to your adventures that you've had with, with Matt that they really need to know to help them understand? That's a bit of a deep question. Sorry, I threw that right at you.

I think that one of the reasons that I'm where I'm at right now is because now that Matt's an adult, I'm experiencing a whole different, you know, I've gone into a different area of this whole Down syndrome phase. I'm in a different phase now. Mm-hmm. And I'm seeing the difference with adults and even What I've noticed with Matt is when we go out in public, if people talk to him, he just, he just, you can feel his inner being come to life. Like, hey, I matter. I'm important. This person wants to talk to me.

Mm-hmm.

And, and so he'll just, you know, try to have a conversation with this person who sparked up this conversation with them. Uh, but But what I also know is that it can be intimidating, or maybe you may feel a little uneasy because you don't know what to say or how, you know, what they can understand or if they want to be approached. So, so that would be my— that's what I'm finding right now is a big part of our phase. I'm going to call it a phase.

Yeah.

Is that, you know, just treat them like you would any other adult. And I promise you, because even me, I, you know, if I run into somebody else who has some other kind of disability or special needs, and I'm not quite sure how, you know, what to say, I still experience that. Mm-hmm. So, but because of my son, I I will also make a point to communicate with them or spark up a conversation. And I walk away feeling inspired and feeling better and learning from them.

Mm-hmm.

And so what I can say is that, you know, people with Down syndrome, people who are differently abled, they give the rest of us the opportunity to be better people, you know, teach us compassion and forgiveness and unconditional love. And, you know, they have no agenda. So we can just— we can learn so much from them. And, and at the same time, by taking those few minutes to talk to them, you know, make an impact on them as well.

And I think— sorry, I was just gonna say that was what I felt when I was just— when I was reading Matt's bio, and everybody, you've got to go over, over to the website and read that. I, I felt really connected, and I could feel— that was why I asked you when we came on, did you know, did you, how did you go about writing that? Because I could, I could feel Matt within it, and I could feel him epervescing, if that makes, if that makes sense, through, through the writing. So I would look Yeah, just reading that, just that one little bit on the website, which was, you know, the About Maps section, was a really beautiful piece for me. And I can only imagine that this is how the stories are going to unfold in this book with you sort of almost co-authoring the book together. So how's that experience been when you're working on this, as you said, a project together? How are you— How are you finding it and how is he finding it as 2 different individuals and then combined as a project?

So he— it's funny, I have to catch him at the right time of day because if I don't catch him at the right time of day, then I'm interrupting what he's involved in. So I have to kind of gauge where he's at and what he's doing, and, and then I'll just sit him down and I'll say, okay, so you're the superhero guru You know, what powers do we want our characters to have? You know, and then he'll sit and tell me. And, and I asked him, where do we want their headquarters to be? So he's— he told me where he wanted the headquarters to be. And, and so he's just kind of— he's giving me the high-level details of what he wants in the book, and then I'm doing the, um, the nitty-gritty stuff.

The detail.

So, but it's been fun. It has been fun. And who knows how long it will be until this one's ready, but it's been fun to do it with him, to include him. Now, this book that I just wrote, The Big People Don't Pee in the Park, I've been getting him ready for it to be coming out. You know, he knows I've been writing a book this whole time.

Yeah.

And so as I write each chapter, I tell him what I'm writing about. And for instance, I have one chapter that is about when he got caught shoplifting. And when I told him that story, I could see him kind of get a little nervous.

Yeah.

And I went, okay. So what I did is I explained to him that I'm just trying to help these new parents who are having babies with Down syndrome realize that their baby's going to be like everyone else because What child doesn't get caught stealing something at some point, whether it's a pack of gum or a penny candy? You know, if those exist anymore. But anyway, so I've just tried to do that with him with the intention of you know explaining to him why I'm sharing our story.

And how does and he obviously has the cognition to understand. understanding of that. And it's— I think it's so beautiful that he's had that same apprehension that, you know, if I told some of the naughty stories about Rory, he would do, Mum, don't share those. So, you know, that's, as you said, that's— there's that sameness again, but also that celebration and of understanding of, you know, why we would share those stories is to help somebody else. So he obviously has a incredibly giving heart as well as his unconditional love and pure joy for life.

Yeah, yeah, for sure. And to be transparent, I did have a couple of chapters that I wrote, and I had fun as I was writing them. But then when I got to the publishing, getting ready, you know, to go to publishing, I thought, you know, maybe the— there are some things I need to hold back on, you know, my intent is to, to still show these parents these experiences that they're going to have. But at the same time, I have to respect Matt's privacy.

Yeah.

So there were a few chapters that I ended up cutting out for that reason. And I'll just keep them in my own little bank and go back and read them every now and then. And who knows, I may tweak them a little and put them on a blog someday.

I can appreciate that, that especially as you, as you smiled that slightly naughty smile that I do when I tell Rory that I've got all of his nudie pictures. And when, when he turns 21, I've been threatening it since 18, 16, 18, and now I've got 21. I won't do it because he'd be horrified. But the fact that I can have an evil mother conversation with him around what I'm going to do with them. Fun. Yeah.

I love it. Yeah,

something. Yeah, I appreciate that some things are, you know, some things are sacred to us as mothers. And to our children as well.

Right.

Yeah,

right. And even though he may not be able to speak for himself, I have to be that voice, you know. I have to, you know, think for him in some instances and go, just like you said about your son, would— is it fair that I'm sharing this part of Matt's story when he can't say, Mom, please don't do that? You know, so I had to put myself in his shoes and And that's when I made that decision. So

yeah. Yeah. So let's talk now with— obviously, let's, let's talk now about obviously the vision that you have as it relates to helping these people, the people that are going through similar experiences. And then I want to lead into the Becoming Strong component, if we could as well, please.

I, I just want these new parents who are going through this to— that, that, that's my first of all, first and foremost, congratulations on, on your beautiful baby. Uh, you're in for a world of joy. That's— that would be my first thing. My second thing is just to reassure them that, you know, life is going to be so— it's going to be crazy, crazy fun, crazy hard. It's going to be amazing. Mm-hmm. And to get ready. And then also to don't be afraid to be their advocate. They're going to need you. You know, they need our voices. My son has needed my voice. And, you know, be diligent in knowing what's best for your child. Know your child. And, you know, They can't always speak for themselves. Now, there are a lot of people with Down syndrome nowadays who I'm just so in awe of, of the things they're able to do. But, you know, for those who can't, you know, don't be afraid to be their voice. Be their voice. Be strong, be diligent, and help them. Don't set limitations and don't let anyone else set limitations.

Yeah, beautifully said. Thank you. So now, obviously, and I know in the notes that you shared with me, a lot of your lessons, strength, resolve, resilience, etc., has come through this amazingly fun, challenging adventure. So talk to us about, I suppose, your perception of becoming strong.

Well, just that, what I just said. They, they, you have to be strong to be that person for them. And at first it can be uncomfortable because you find yourself questioning the professionals or going up against the professionals. And it's not going up against the professionals per se, or necessarily, it's just knowing your child. And so I I, I ended up— my, uh, Matt's dad and I ended up getting divorced when he was 3. And so I was a single parent for many years. And for my son to get what I wanted him to have in his life, to reach his greatest potential, I had to find deep within me a strength to go against the, you know, those who weren't on my team, I guess I'll say. So nicely. Yeah. So I had to remind them that We're a team and the ultimate goal here is to, you know, help him succeed. And so, but I, and with time I got stronger and stronger and the more you're involved, you know, with whatever it is you're pursuing or helping them with, the stronger you become.

Yeah.

And the more confident you become.

Yes. Yeah.

But at the same time, you know, You get more— what is that saying? You get more flies with honey than vinegar. Is that that saying? So you don't want to be too aggressive and too assertive. You, you just, you, you gotta stand your ground, um, in a professionally pleasant way.

Yeah. Yep. And have, uh, incredible amounts of persistence. I know you use the word patience a lot. Um, but I also hear a lot of persistence in that strength when you talk about it.

Yeah. And I am not a patient person.

Sorry, I threw that in there because I read that line and went, oh, that's me.

So I am not a patient person. I am very impatient. I, I've come a long way, but it's still an area where I need to work. Um, you know, but I, I believe that that's one of the reasons why I have my son. I believe I needed him more than he needed me. So he's definitely made me a better person by far.

Yeah. And one of the things, um, that you talk about is, um, let me see if I can find it. Uh, you also talked about the, the, the fact that on occasion you have doubts that you were enough. That you're enough for him.

Yeah, so I, I'm always questioning myself. Have I really done enough for him now that he is an adult? You know, should he be doing more? And, and have I made the best decisions for him? And am I— oh gosh, have I really done the best I could have for him? I do find myself doing that a lot now, and, you know, questioning if he could have done more, if I would have done more. And I don't know how much more I could have done, you know. I, I, I mean, I, I would assume that any parent might question that at some point in their life, but I, yeah, I've done my best with him. And at this point, all I can say is I hope I did the right thing.

Yeah, and I think that's, um, I think you're very right because I, I You know, with your affirmation of how Rory's turned out, I would say exactly the same thing. You know, Matt as a human being looks like the most amazing human being that would be so fun to be around. And, you know, every parent wants that for their child. But yeah, we all have, you know, should I have done this, should I have done that? But ultimately they become their own being and we become our being because of them. So I would agree. agree with that. So I think children are, as we've talked about, are a gift anyway. But I think to read, for me, reading the way Matt effervesces in that writing and to hear his sheer joy for life with his quoting movies and doing a dance move and all those things, you know, he just celebrates life and what a, what a beautiful gift that is to, to everybody, really. So, well, yeah, very much well done you celebrating that, to celebrate that. You know, extraordinary. We all, we all look for that, you know, that giftedness in others and bringing that to life. So that's beautiful. So how can people get in contact with you? Or how is the best way for people to get in contact with you if they're needing some support? And what sort of resources do you help people with? Would be a nice way to tie things in.

So the best way to get in touch with me would be through my website. You can contact me, email me through that. And I, on my website, I do have some resources that I've used, and that I feel have been very helpful. I also have some tips that I kind of wrote up, you know, things that I wish I would have known, you know, solutions type, just things that I've through the years, you know, that I did to make things easier for him and for myself. So I have that, those kinds of things on my website. And then, uh, you know, just offering up support to these new parents. I am happy to, you know, as a support person You know, do what I can to help them in any way possible. You know, the healing, hope, and humor— that's been my tagline. And, you know, I've been healing, I've done the healing, I've lived through the hope and still live through hope, and, and definitely, definitely a lot of humor. Every single day, every single day, he does something to make me laugh.

Yeah. How beautiful. That's fantastic. And do you, as part of your advocacy role, do you like to speak and share the story as much as possible as well?

So absolutely. I'm new on this journey. I retired after a 35-year career 2 years ago and started writing this book. And I've been doing some speaking in the last year, which has been an incredible experience. I never thought I'd find myself in this world. But I, I, this is something I'm passionate about. I'm passionate about showing the value that these individuals bring to society. I'm passionate about, you know, educating people on Down syndrome. So I'm, I'm happy to speak to anyone who will listen to me go on and on forever.

And I was just gonna say, for anyone that's just captured that, you can Absolutely hear and feel the passion and the enthusiasm for the, for the opportunity to be able to share that. So I'm glad you jumped all over that, so to speak, because to me that's definitely one of your gifts, is that ability to share that passion and the wisdom, but also the hope— the— no, I've missed something. The healing. The healing, the hope, and the humor is definitely a great story to be sharing with the world and a great way to educate and help people understand inclusion and acceptance and what all of the gifts are that come out of that. So I think you're very much a perfect advocate for that. Wendy, can I ask you to share any last words that you wish? And then we will need to wind things up because we've got to the end already.

Well, I think I've— hopefully I've said quite a bit, given you an earful. I, you know, I hope my book will come out on October 3rd. Down syndrome awareness month is in October, so I really worked hard to make that goal, and with perseverance and dedication, I made it happen. So on October 3rd, my book will be out on Amazon, and I am I just hope and pray that anyone who feels they could benefit from my story, if I help even one parent, I've done my due diligence, you know. So I'm hoping by sharing our story that it will give those new parents that healing hope and humor feeling and hope especially, you know.

Yeah. Yeah. And thank you. I've— for me, what I was excited about was obviously to share the story, but to talk about the gift that differently abled people have to give to all of us. We just need to see, to accept, and to recognize, and then to celebrate. And I think today our conversation has been a great celebration of that. the healing, the hope, and the humor. And just to be around part of this conversation and just listen to the— just the little teeny tiny stories I've got of Matt has, you know, has filled my cup to overflowing today. So I thank you for your bravery and your commitment to your son in sharing yours and his story. So thank you very, very much, Wendy. Very much appreciated.

Thank you, Sally. Thank you for giving me this platform to share our story. I really appreciate it.

Yeah, no, my absolute pleasure. So thank you everybody for joining us today. Please do check out Wendy Hooten's website. It's wendyhooten.com. Do, as I've said, check out her bio as it relates to the patient piece because I had a great Google around that. And do check out Matt's bio as well to find out more about his, his story and his certain charming personality that he has. So again, thank you very much. Do reach out to Wendy. We look forward again to seeing you in another episode of Success Secrets Exposed. Till then, have a fantastic week ahead. Take care. Bye. Thank you.