Healing From Imposter Syndrome, Bias, Oppression and Discord

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Welcome to the Legacy Leavers series on Success Secrets Exposed. Tune in live every Tuesday at 7 PM Eastern Time or Wednesday mornings in Australia on W4CY Radio and Talk4TV. The series showcases experts, changemakers, and disruptors leaving a lasting legacy with those sharing their wisdom with the world.

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, and good day to you all. Sally here. Thank you so much for joining us today. Today we're going to be talking about healing from imposter syndrome, bias, oppression, and discord. Now I have a beautiful guest to join us today, Amber Onteres, who is a longtime civil rights advocate who's actually served in advisory roles for the US Department of Transport for the Bush and Obama administration. She now runs her consultancy specializing in change management, policy development, and coaching. Now Amber is an executive coach who found her calling after experiencing a profound life-altering near-death experience. Her commitment to fostering positive cultural change within organizations has made her a sought-after figure for leading change management initiatives across America. She's also the author of Heal the Four Woundings, A Guide to Ending Discord and Discrimination. Now, this book offers a new perspective on tackling the root causes of societal and organizational challenges. Amber's approach is not just theoretical, but it's deeply personal, reflecting her journey towards healing and the understanding that goes with that. So please help me welcome to the show Amber.

Thank you so much for having me here, Sally. I'm very grateful.

You are very, very welcome. I'm super excited to be sharing this particular topic and diving into something that's deeply personal, but also deeply significant for creating the changes that we want to see in the world. So thank you for coming on and sharing, sharing your wisdom. I'd love to start because obviously there's a big backstory there. So I'd love you to start by sharing a bit of your backstory and that life-changing experience that's occurred.

Yeah. Yeah. So, um, this story, I hope all of your listeners understand that this story is a comedy. It's a love story. The comedy part of the story is about me. So the book is deeply personal because it begins— the first chapter, which you can get free on the webpage so that you know who you are. I left the Obama administration in 2014, and I have a very rare disease. And one day I had a seizure And I was in my bed. I had a seizure. It was the only time this has ever happened. And the next moment, the me that was me, that I now know will always be me, popped outside of my body.

Mm.

And I went into a light with a being of light. And it was so beautiful, and it was so profound, and it cracked my consciousness and Helped me see how I had helped people, but it also helped me see how I hurt them. And that experience was so beautiful. I then studied consciousness and the neuroscience of unconscious bias for years, and that led me down a path that shocked me. It shocked me. Here's the comedy part. The infinite creator in that experience helped me see myself, and what he helped me see was this. Oh no, no, no, Amber. Oh no, no, baby. The discord and oppression that you are fighting against with the white man who is angry over Black Lives Matter That lives within you.

Hmm.

And so what I found as a result of studying this, the neuroscience of unconscious bias, and studying the brain, I found that there— it's the brain that's resulting in the discord. And in particular, there's these particular biases that the neuroscience describes. And then I'm going to talk about this one part of the back of the brain so that you can first Understand what is happening to you and when you get triggered, what does that really mean? So here's how it works. There is a bias and they call it the self-serving bias and I now understand it is an evolutionary protective mechanism that is ingrained in the way that your brain operates that protects your self-esteem. Experience so that you can survive and reproduce. So what happens is the self-serving mechanism is when good things happen to me, I attribute them to myself. When bad things happen to me, I attribute them to things outside of me.

Yeah.

Okay, so you apply for a job, you don't get the job, Why does this self-protective mechanism exist? So that you can overcome the challenge and protect your self-esteem so that you can get a job so that you can eat. Yeah. Here's the problem to all of my beautiful listeners. The problem is that self-protective mechanism doesn't allow you to make mistakes. It automatically is processing information so quickly so that you don't get eaten by a lion. So on top of that, there's another bias. It's called the mini-me bias, which is basically like, I'm going to hire people that are like me.

Now, we see that a lot.

Obviously, it results in discrimination. But why is it occurring? It's occurring because in the caveman days, We were fearful of other tribes who didn't look like us because they would steal our children, our food, and our women. So it's an evolutionary protective mechanism that's helping us survive and reproduce. But the thing is, it's not real.

Hmm.

And on top of that, I talk about this in my book. So you don't know me, and on the outside I appear successful. I worked for the Obama administration, I worked for the Bush administration, I'm an expert in discrimination, I wrote federal civil rights law, I've investigated agencies for discrimination. Here is the funny part of the story. That discrimination Within me. So that is the bias that I discovered within me. And the way that I discovered it was as a result of this spiritually transformative experience that then cracked my consciousness.

Yeah.

I then found— I, I, I did a lot of research on neuroplasticity.

How

does the brain work? How do you slow down the mind? The neuroscience suggests to slow down the mind so that you can perceive the bias as it's unfolding.

True.

The only way that you can do that is through mindfulness so that you can sit in awareness so that you can see yourself. If you don't see what are you thinking, what are you feeling, we're too busy moving, You can't miss it. You can't halt your behavior because the thing I discovered, and I'll get back to the, to this one part of the brain, so these beliefs that lie in your unconscious mind create your thoughts, create your emotions, and they create your behavior. So the way that I discovered these, what I now call woundings, Which are simply biases, which are simply beliefs, is I started doing mindfulness and meditation, and I created a technique called mindful listening.

Mm-hmm.

And the tool— and you all can, you can do it in a meeting tomorrow— and here's how it works. You focus on your breath in a difficult situation, and you think in as you breathe in, you think out as you breathe out, and you ask yourself a set of questions. And you're— you ask yourself these questions because the breathwork helps you regulate your emotions in the hostile situation. The questions are helping you analyze yourself. Why am I triggered? Why am I thinking this way? And it— and you ask those same questions about the other person. The questions are, why would I be angry in this scenario? And what are my beliefs about myself in order to be angry? So I did this when I was watching a man get so mad over Black Lives Matter. And Sally, it slapped me in the face because what I really realized what he was saying is, if Black lives matter, I don't matter. And that's based on his own false belief that he is not worthy.

Hmm.

It's not real. And I was having that same belief with my clients. My clients who would hire me, and they were, you know, white, very highly educated, they would hire me to create this, you know, innovative contracting program or whatever, and then they wouldn't implement it, or I'd get crickets, or they'd completely alter it. And I began to wonder, is something wrong with me? That is the same wounding that's going on with the man who was angry over Black Lives Matter.

Hmm.

And so what's really happening is past trauma that exists in our unconscious mind is sitting there, and in that split second when you have an experience, your mind processes that experience and automatically applies that wounding onto that scenario as real.

Yeah, because we believe it.

Because we believe our thoughts are us, and they're not. And so the 4 woundings are I am not worthy. I am not enough. I have to win, and I don't have enough. So here's how it plays out in work, and then I'll give you a scenario of how it played out with me. And I described this in a— I described this in the book, and it's, it's highly funny now, even though it wasn't at the moment.

I was just going to ask you, was it at the time though?

No. But it's a gift that I have now healed, and you can too. So imagine a woman compete— working with another woman, and that other woman— the 2 women, they see each other. One woman has this amazing skill set, and this other woman sees this other woman and she's like, Oh my gosh, I'm believing there's room for only one woman at the top.

And

therefore, when she sees this skill that she thinks she doesn't have, she thinks, I am not enough, because she's comparing herself to this other person. And because that person has that skill set she doesn't think she has and she needs that thing, she then believes, I am not Therefore, she thinks, in order for me to win, I have to deny you a resource because I didn't have resources somewhere in the past. So it's happening that quick. That quick.

Yes. Yeah. And don't we see that play out in corporate and in our, and in our executive lives and in our business lives when we're— I'm just gone straight to a networking event where you've got 2 people that might be in the in my space, in the marketing space, and they, they'll automatically go, oh, you're a competitor of mine. It's sort of like, well, we could be collaborative, uh, but they haven't seen that because they've gone, oh, you've got the same clients as mine, so therefore I'm going to deny talking to you. It can be simple as that, going to deny talking to you, um, because I, I see that you might, um, might be, you know, might take my clients away or whatever. So they There's all those incredibly simple things that we believe about ourselves or believe to be true until we realize they're not. And I've just got one little story I just want to share there. I've got a beautiful girlfriend of mine and she asked if she could borrow— we were talking about borrowing a lawnmower, something really simple. And then she said, oh no, I won't be able to get mine in the car to bring it down to you because the handle's too long. And We'd had this conversation for a long time about the length of the handles. No, no, won't fit in the car, won't fit in the car, can't fit in the car, can't fit in the car. And I was up there one day and I went, oh, where's that lawnmower? Because she was saying how her daughter wanted to borrow it. I said, where's that lawnmower? We'll get it in your car because I'm a problem solver. And she really still, no, no, it won't fit in the car, won't fit in the car. But the handles detracted or retracted so they could fit in the car. Oh, wow. It's just that she didn't know that the handles Retract it. So she believed that it couldn't fit in the car and had done for so long. And that's just such a common— to me, I wanted to share that because that's such a common thing of how we take on something that we believe to be true, that upon further investigation actually isn't. So please let— please continue with what you were sharing about that next stage, because I think that, that what we believe and the, you know, how we bring in our own beliefs around the imposter syndrome and the traumas that we've had, we, we don't realize how much that plays out for us in our work lives. And without that, um, acknowledgement of being able to slow down enough to see it and witness it, we can't change that cycle. So,

yes, yes. And, you know, imposter syndrome is really, you know, so it's, it's like a figment of your imagination believing that you're not worth— I mean, it's basically a self-story from something else in the past that you then apply to a new scenario, in which case— Here's why anyone that is listening that is an executive, that is a CEO, or wants to be that, or you just want the best version of yourself, here's why you have to heal and identify your woundings. Because the other part that I learned that just shocked me was there's this part of the brain in the back, it's called the reticular activation system.

Yes.

And here's, here's what it does. It literally holds you hostage to only allow you to experience through your senses what you believe about yourself. In my case, I had been raped when I was younger. I had been discriminated against a lot. I was poor. I'm first person to go to college. And so I had never gone through, you know, significant amounts of psychotherapy or therapeutic, um, you know, services. And so I, I studied this and created these tools for myself based on the neuroscience. And, um, but here's why everyone needs to change this, because if you don't change that, you will continue to experience beliefs to confirm your bias about yourself.

So true.

In which case, how does that show up for CEOs or executives? Well, Here's the thing. Happy employees, they make more money. They're 20% more productive. If you're a CEO that struggles from imposter syndrome, you may not be able to properly assess risk because you're applying your wounding onto the scenario such that you're not actually Seeing it because you're living in a past wounding or a past fear that you're then applying onto the existing circumstance. All of that can affect profitability, it can affect innovation because you're like, oh, I don't know if I'm gonna do that.

Yeah.

Your example of victim consciousness is the perfect example because what we do is we team with a lot of other companies, in which case 1% of something is better than 0% of nothing. And anything else is just living in a victim consciousness. So what I did was created these tools for myself, studying, you know, the neuroplasticity. So it includes everything from Mindfulness, meditation. Meditation increases your creativity by 20%. Now, how do you get over imposter syndrome? The science shows that meditation, it calms, it regulates the emotions, it reduces the inflammation and the stress in the body, which also, it brings stability. It also increases mood. It also increases confidence. The other thing is, back to that bias scenario, we have to get perfectionism out of our mind. That's not real. Every mistake is your step to success.

Yeah, it's a learning, isn't it?

It is a learning.

We're inhibiting our learning. We're actually inhibiting the growth and the opportunities for ourselves and others.

Yes.

Yeah.

And so through these, through, through these tools like the mindful listening, you then can see in, in this scenario, you can then see when you're triggered, what is the gift that you're giving yourself in that moment that's not real. So for example, I, I was— a person that I was working with, a team, a team member, another consultant, he was very rude to me and wouldn't allow me to contribute to an agenda. And I used the technique and I discovered what he was really saying to me is, Amber, there's something in you that I don't in me, and I want to be you.

Um,

he's threatened and he's in a state of fear, and why he's acting badly is because of something in the past that he now thinks is real now. What he didn't realize that I then shared with him, because I had healed my wounds and didn't throw up my triggers and pain on top of it—

Great description. Yes.

Which before I did, absolutely.

Yeah.

I helped him see, oh no, no, no, honey, you are so good at this other thing where I can't do it at all. I may be good at this other thing, but that's okay. That's what makes it beautiful because— and I mean, this is a spiritual teaching Which is we all have to be our perfect puzzle piece for the puzzle to fit together.

Yes, it's that collective collaboration of working together and operating within our, our skill sets, but bringing the collective skill sets together for the greater good.

Absolutely. Yes. And the other thing is, the, the advantage of this is that I realized how badly I used to behave, Sally, and I, I now know you cannot give what you don't have.

Hmm.

You cannot give love if you don't have it. And leaders in, in professional work, compassion and kindness Authenticity and emotional intelligence are the number one things that result in growth and profitability for the CEO and for the company. In order to do— in order to get to that level, you, the individual, has to apply these things to yourself. Emotional intelligence is about understanding your feelings and being kind and understanding others. In order to do that, you have to again be aware of yourself and then use these same tools to then be aware of others. And I guess I just want to say a couple other things for those that are listening, going back to the reticular activation system. So I teach these tools with my clients. I have an executive coaching program where we teach many others, but all of the techniques that I am describing are purposeful. And some of you may be like, oh, that's that love thing, blah, blah, blah. Yes. There is a scientific reason For why I'm saying the love word. Okay, if you believe you suck ass—sorry, technical word there—yeah, you will absolutely experience that because the reticular activation system holds you hostage to what you believe about yourself. So you have to. Be kind to yourself. You have to forgive yourself, see every mistake as a growth opportunity, extract the lesson from it so that you overcome it, and you have to be compassionate. That changes the reticular activation system. And then the other thing is I reframe Every negative experience, I reframe it as a positive one because it changes how you see yourself. That then changes how you experience the world. And then you can then apply that to how you lead.

Yep. Beautiful. Can I just come back to this one word that I've, uh, you've said a number of times and it's a word that, um, I suppose touches me, but I don't, I don't hear it very often in the space I'm in, which is that speaker coaching leadership space. We've heard authenticity, we've heard all those words. The word that you've said a number of times and keeps touching me is the word compassion. So that compassionate leadership, and obviously that comes from a start or starts from being kind to yourself. But can we unpack how somebody can help themselves be Be aware of where they're at from a compassionate level or a kindness level. It's the compassionate word I'm seeing. I'm feeling the two sort of being slightly different, but I'd love to explore that, how people can help to increase their awareness around where they sit on a scale, if that's the case, as it relates to compassion. Because you've said it a number of times and I don't hear that word here very much. So I'd love to explore that. Yes.

Yes. Yes. So, and I'll use myself as an example. So online, there are free emotional intelligence tests that you can take, and they can tell you, you know, what your, what your bias is. So my bias, my emotional intelligence was right on. It was like, you are the perfectionist. Okay. So here's how that shows up. I used to bully myself. Sally, I used to be mean to myself. If I made a mistake, I was really— So the reason why I, I'm positive, the reason why I have the dis-ease that I have is directly as a result of the way that I talk to myself. Because there, there is a scientific study that shows that positive mood has an effect on your immunological response. My disease is immune. So in my case, the way it shows up is I'm a meanie with me. And, and so then the way it showed up was with my— with in the external world is I was not always compassionate. I was not always compassionate. I was not always compassionate with my clients. Maybe were afraid to implement my suggestions because of their own wounding. Mm-hmm. And so now I'm a very different consultant. I now help them See why are they feeling the way that they're feeling and are afraid to implement something. And the way that I do that, I don't put it on them. I am vulnerable first.

Yeah, that's compassion.

That is an example of compassion.

Beautiful. Thank you. Thank you. Something else that came up for me when you were talking was that— and you touched on it just then— was that when you're working with clients and sometimes that you get to the point— I've written it down as that— oh, that's a common phrase we have here, that sounds good, but— which effectively means that sounds like a great idea, but something's holding me back, which means they don't implement it. So that's that part, that's That's now where you're helping people when you're working with them is understanding that bias that's going to get in the way potentially before it gets in the way. Is that correct?

Yes. And that's a great segue. So one of the teachings I do, I do an exercise called Breaking the Habit of Being Small, in which case they— we identify the goal they're trying to achieve. Then we identify the barrier to achieve it, and then we identify the psychological state for someone who could easily do that.

Mm-hmm.

Here's why we do that. The barrier to achieve it is not real. Barrier is likely some old thing in the past that you put upon the thing that has resulted in your psychological state that will not allow you to achieve the thing. So I have you then identify the psychological state because then what I do is I studied, I read a book by the American Psychological Association of top-performing athletes. And I then take that and I create a visualization technique For that person that then has them embody that psychological state for the person that could easily do it. And then I have them replay it over and over again because top-performing athletes know that the way that you become a top-performing anything is with your mind.

Yeah, and repetition.

And this changes the neural pathways in the brain To allow you to see that you can do it. Because here's the thing that y'all are gonna be like, wow, there is a study that shows the brain does not know the difference between an imaginary and a real scenario. So the brain literally thinks you really did it already. Therefore, it gives you confidence because you've already succeeded in your mind.

Gives you that permission. That's it. Yeah, I just was chatting with a lady on LinkedIn last week and I put a post up about the simple steps of content creation, step 1, step 2, step 3. And she said, thanks for that. I resonated with step 1 of the particular steps. She said, I wasn't really sure about step 3. And I said, oh yeah, that one, it was, you know, it was one around action. And I said, that's all right, I get that. That was one of the ones that I used to resist. So, and I gave her some steps of how I went about almost tricking myself because I'm a rebel and I like to, you know, go against the rules and all those sorts of things, how I sort of tricked myself into creating it into a habit. So then it became that habit. So I built my confidence up. So then, as you said, I actually— so I suppose that was more around physically doing it versus mentally doing it. But I'd worked out Because I'd understood myself enough, what I needed to do in steps that I was comfortable doing, that enabled me to have forward movement, that built the confidence up. So that's what you're doing in a bigger scale, and I would imagine in a much faster process, is by getting that belief of it being the real state versus the visionary state. Exactly. The vision, and it's actually marrying together, which is actually creating that impact. So when you were talking about that, then you've very much talked about working with individuals. Do you work with just individuals within the organization, or do you start with individuals in the organization and then do the organization? How do you work within organizations? Is it always with an individual and then the collective? Just explain that for the listeners as well. Both.

Both. And both. And like, especially if you have a team. So we do, um, we actually do, uh, role-playing around unconscious bias, like scenarios of bias, of racism or whatever. So because the idea behind this is, if you, if you really look at the guy that was mad over Black Lives Matter, it's not about race at all. He, he— in other words, it's not about the Black person. It's about, oh my God, I'm not going to be able to eat. I'm going to be replaced. It's, it's from a place of fear. And so by creating a scenario where all people can see that, you then find compassion for the person that is throwing up on you. Mm-hmm. Because it's not who they really are. They're living in a wounding in that moment.

Stuff, as you said. Yeah, yeah. And that's— I think that's the beauty of the conversation we've had today, is just having the realization of the awareness of what is going on for ourselves and why, and how that then plays out for us and the way in which we interact and lead others. Yes. So that, you know, that, that's the gift that you've been able to share with us. So going back with everything that we've talked about, we've talked about the compassion, that the awareness, we've talked about, you know, changing the— understanding the barriers that are getting in the way and understanding that exploring our own unseen traumas so we can move through that. What is it that we— that you need the audience to take away today that'll help them move forward right now? What's the first step?

The first step is, is to see it. Yeah. If you can't see the problem, you can't fix it.

Beautiful.

Therefore, I highly recommend everyone do some form of meditation or mindfulness.

Yeah.

The second step is, is to think about this story. When you've been triggered and acted badly, forgive yourself because you were in a state of unconsciousness in that moment. You were unconscious. It's not real. It's not real.

Yeah, beautiful. And given your, um, your expertise now, your, your experience that, as you said, cracked you open and brought you to where you've been able to share, um, so much of yourself with yourself and obviously others as well, which has been beautiful. Um, and this question, um, I like this question to sort of close out as we sort of get towards the end of the show is, what do you wish you— what do you know now that you wished you'd known earlier?

Mm, God, that's such a good question. I didn't know that accepting my feelings is one of the most important things you should do. Accept your feelings, whether you are in fear or whatever it is. You have to feel that feeling in the body. So I, I teach a somatic practice that removes the feeling in the body because the feeling is part of the trauma that's stuck. So you feel it very strong. And then the other thing is, I didn't know And I'll leave your listeners with 2 teachings. I didn't know thoughts and feelings are a choice. Is the thought or feeling you are choosing helping or hurting you? Hmm. The last thing, this one is— oh, just touches me almost every day. It's called suffering. Suffering is grace. Grace is suffering. Suffering is the rising of a teacher. Love all experiences. In every moment that we suffer, there is something about that suffering that you are trying to teach yourself.

Mm-hmm.

Every negative experience literally is there to mirror back to you some past trauma wounding so that you can heal it. And for all of you listening, you don't have to live a day of fear. You don't have to live a day in pain. You want to continue to choose— That is a choice.

That

is a choice. And with all of the things that we're seeing in the world, I, I ask you this: how do you want to live in a state of chaos? I choose to live in love. I choose to live fearlessly. I choose to live in compassion and kindness. For all fellow beings, including those people that may be acting ugly because they're acting ugly because of their woundings that is resulting in fear. It's not real, but I have compassion because I know why they're doing it.

Understanding. Yeah, beautiful. Um, and going back to your book that you've meant that we've been talking about throughout the show. And you've also mentioned when we were talking that people can download the first chapter as a way of finding out and discovering a little bit more about themselves whilst they also discover a little bit more about you. How, how or where can people find that?

Yes. So you can go to my website. It's Heal the Four Woundings with an S. And you can get the first chapter of the book that basically is me, you know, jumping out of my body. And the other thing is, you know, there's some other products on there that are really, really affordable if you just want to, you know, learn more about it. So

yeah. Jump on across to the website. And obviously, We've actually— we didn't find each other through LinkedIn, which is unusual for me, but I know we are on LinkedIn. Yes. So people can find us, can certainly find you on LinkedIn as well. Certainly do have a look at the website. Take the opportunity to see, download the chapter and see some of those other resources. And one final question, just as we sort of get towards the very end. What do you, um, what do you recommend or suggest for individuals that are starting the beginning of their quest, that they want to become a legacy, a legacy like yourself? So for those, you know, those on a quest that want to leave a legacy, what do you recommend individuals do to maximize their opportunities to share their wisdom or to get their wisdom out with the world? That was a question that's just popped into my brain.

Apologies. Well, honestly, um, I mean, it starts with understanding yourself. What do you care about? What are you passionate about? What is your heart telling you that you want to explore? That's the first thing.

Yeah.

Second thing is I would figure out how to tell your story, whether it's, you know, writing a book, being on a podcast like this, you know, using Sally's services to then monetize all that content, all of that.

Yeah, beautiful. I think that's for me— thank you so much for sharing that, Amber. I think that's one of the biases that I see a lot is people that have got this, you know, unique inner genius with this story, this wisdom that needs to be shared with the world, is that— is understanding that first step, which is unpacking it or digging, digging into it. And then working out the ways to get it out. And when someone's got a great story and a great message to share, there's so many people that collectively will want to help you share, share that. Yes. So that's my, my message, which is why I asked that, because I always like to get somebody else's perspective. I think the more we all have the opportunities to share our inner genius, to share our wisdom, and to create the legacies that we were put on the planet to do, is about, you know, yes, us as individuals, but yes, us as a collective, how we can all bring that forward so we can make the world a better place in our own unique ways through our own unique messages.

I agree.

Yeah. Thank you so much for joining us today, Amber. It's been an incredibly insightful episode. I really appreciate the time and the heart and love that you've actually brought to the episode in this session today. So thank you.

Thank you so much, Sally.

Thank you very, very much again, everybody. We will look forward to seeing you again on another episode of Success Secrets Exposed and on our Legacy Leavers series. For now, we will look forward to seeing you another— next week on another episode. Take care.

Bye. Remember, if you want to be sought after, and sold out, as well as being known as the obvious expert in your industry, you need to speak with Sally, our host of Success Secrets Exposed. Sally is the founder of Monetize Your Content, a done-for-you content marketing agency that helps you be easy to buy. See you next week on another episode of Success Secrets Exposed. Tune in live every Tuesday at 7 PM Eastern time or Wednesday mornings in Australia and On W4CY Radio and Talk 4 TV.