In this conversational segment, the hosts explore what "risk" truly means beyond its literal definition of danger. Speaker B references research that defines risk as exposure to harm, but reframes it as stepping outside one's comfort zone, distinguishing it from reckless behavior—drawing on a personal anecdote as a former aerobatic pilot. The dialogue then shifts to how women often perceive speaking up—whether in personal or professional relationships—as a significant risk, fearing disruption of relational harmony. To navigate this, they introduce the "rock the boat" metaphor: a measured way to assert needs without overturning the entire dynamic. Speaker A reflects on their own tendency to push boundaries, acknowledging the balance between assertiveness and soft skills. The conversation underscores the importance of redefining risk, recognizing gendered expectations, and employing nuanced strategies for effective communication.
I'm going to come back to a quote within the notes in a minute. What do you view risks as? Because some people are frightened of risks. I've got a girlfriend who doesn't like risks. I get goosebumps because I'm ready to go and I'm excited. So let's talk about what risks are in your world.
That's such a great question. And it's so funny because I had a guest on, on my YouTube show just a couple of weeks ago. And in preparation for the show, she had done all this research on what risk really meant. 'Cause she calls it taking chances. I actually looked up what she was talking about with risk. And the first definition of risk is actually putting yourself in peril, like of, of harm or death. You know, it's kind of a scary definition. So in some ways you kind of understand why people have that reaction, particularly women have that reaction to risk. And in my world, risk is not that. Yes. It's not putting you out there to risk and danger. Although I will confess that one of the reasons I talk about risk is that I used to be an aerobatic pilot. I turned airplanes upside down and that was a little bit kind of risk. These days I call that kind of risk reckless. So we're not, we're not talking about being reckless. But for me, risk is taking those steps outside of your comfort zone, whether they're big ones or little ones. It's interesting. What both of you said about, you know, making friends and speaking up outside of, you know, at a conference. Because for, for a lot of women, speaking up, particularly in relationships, even workplace relationships or personal relationships, that can be one of the biggest risks for women that I run into, is that actual, you know, speaking up and saying what they need. And it's sad that it's so much of a risk for women, but we are so much more relationship-focused a lot of times, and we don't want to upset that apple cart. But we need to rock the boat a little bit. We don't have to flip it over, but we can rock the boat a little bit in order to be more effective and get what we need and, and bring our skills into the world in a bigger way.
Yeah, I love that you've used the rocking the boat analogy because I just had an insight around my own personality, which is, OK, I'm just going to rock this boat. OK, you're not listening to me. I'm going to tip it over now, which is probably not the ideal soft skills, and having a little bit of a balance in there. But I do, I do remember through relate, and it was around the relationship side of things that you've actually just mentioned, that I'm rocking the boat, right? You're not listening, I'm going to tip it over. And then sort of dealing with that. But, you know, that's my— I I suppose, risqué personality playing out a little bit too recklessly there.
Well, sometimes, sometimes flipping the boat over is the right answer. There's no question about it.
