Success Secrets Exposed - Taking a Back Forty Approach to 2020 to render a Radical 2021

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Welcome to Success Secrets Exposed with Sally A. Curtis, where we share stories of challenge, success, and inspiration, along with practical tips and strategies to move you forward to your success. And now here's your host, Sally A. Curtis.

Again, today we're going to have a radical show, and I'm going to share a little bit more with you in a minute about our guest for today, who is Darryl Gurney. I wanted to share a little bit about myself for those that are new to the show and those that I'm yet to meet. I'm a marketing strategist for consultants, speakers, and trainers. What that means to you is it's my role to help you amplify your voice, your message, and your impact. Now, why I shared that today was I didn't learn that till the later part of my life. I didn't learn it, I didn't know it, and I certainly didn't do it. And that'll become important to know as we move into today's topic. and I have my great conversation with Darryl and get to share him with you today. So today's topic is taking back— taking a back 40 approach to 2020 to have a radical 2021. Now, I was lucky enough to meet Darryl on LinkedIn a couple of months ago, as I do, and we went on to have a fantastic conversation, what was for me a very early Saturday morning and a late afternoon for Darryl. And I get really, really excited and obviously love to share people that I find that are living their purpose, that are also operating from their inner genius and sharing that inner genius to help others make changes in their life. And that was the way the conversation went with Darryl and why I was so excited to be able to share him with you today. Now, whilst I was actually prepping for the show this morning, I was actually going through some of Darryl's collateral. And he— one of the booklets that he's going to share with you today that you can actually access today is his 10 Tips. And on the very, very front cover of the— of his 10 Tips book was 3 little themes or statements that really resonated with me. One was see opportunities, play first, and believe. So please help me welcome to our show Darryl Gurney.

Hi, Sally.

How are you?

I'm awesome. How are you?

Very well too. Thank you. It's, as you said, as we said earlier, it's been a long time getting to this point to reconnect again, but I am so excited to be able to share you with everybody today. So thank you so much for joining me.

Thank you for having me. I'm honored to be on your show.

Thank you so much. So can I ask you to give the audience a little bit of background, some of your career background, before we dive into the Back 40 information?

Sure, sure. Career-wise, my focus has been working with professionals and entrepreneurs in developing their careers. And that's pretty much my focus for the last 30 years. And I've written books on methods for networking, which you are a master of. And I even told you that when we connected on LinkedIn. I said, man, you know what you're doing. And so, yeah. So anyhow, that was an initial admiration I had of you. And so that's been the focus of my career is as a a coach, a counselor, executive coach, and career transition advisor.

Beautiful. So can you tell us a little bit about what the Back Forty means?

Sure. So it's interesting because you shared how your life kind of went a whole different way than you had planned. You didn't go study at an early age or think, I'm going to be a speaker and a support, you know, people in their marketing and bringing their messages out. So at a similar midpoint in my life, at 40 actually, I was actually in a— one of the lowest points of my life. I was in a half-million-dollar custody suit. I was going through a career change. I was broke, in a lot of debt. And I was sitting in my, uh, my meditation chair at night looking at my son sleeping in his bed— I mean, sleeping in my bed because my parents were downstairs sleeping in his bed because they had come into town to help me emotionally, you know, and definitely financially in this, you know, this, uh, half-million-dollar custody suit. And at that particular moment I felt like the biggest loser in life. You know, it's like, this is all I've got to show for myself.

Mm-hmm.

Um, and it was at that point that I— you call it a voice or, you know, a download or whatever, but something hit me and said, well, what if you're exactly where you're supposed to be? What if everything that has occurred has been exactly the way it needed to be? No mistakes, but it's all been to prepare you for who you came here to be and what you came here to do. And so this this idea came that well, what if the first half of life was just R&D, just research and development for who we really came here to be and what we really came here to do? What if it's the second half? where we really play our big game, as opposed to what society wants to tell us is that you got to make it by 40 or, you know, have it all together, as opposed to, well, wow, what if it's— what if I'm just forming, you know, myself? And what if that big game is, is really ahead? So that, that was kind of how it began.

Again, and do you find, um, that you have that tipping point where people have— you shared your scenario. My scenario is very parallel and very similar. My mum had a stroke. She said to me, Sally, stop settling for— when she came out of that stroke just for a fleeting moment. So I've had lots of messages or taps on the shoulders and been in extreme hardship, problematic scenarios. Do you find that that's where it actually starts where people just sort of go, I've had enough of enough? Does it take that bit first before they are able to join the dots backwards?

Well, I'll speak for myself and, you know, some folks that I've had the privilege to, you know, get to know through this, this work is, um, you know, it took a bag of bricks for me, you know, because the ego is very strong. And, um, you know, we have our And again, it's— I wouldn't even call it our, but when we, you know, come out and we grow into our teenage years and we get out into life, there's a whole lot of ideas of what we should be doing. You know, should be married by now, you know, should have this kind of career. Why do you have that career? Because that, you know, and it could be voices from parents or society or whatever in general. And so there's this, you know, drive. Now, I don't consider any of it wrong. As a matter of fact, you know, part of the philosophy or the mindset of the back 40 is everything you're doing is laboratories. It's it's all like I said, it's research and development. So that first marriage might have been a laboratory for discovering who you are in relationship, who you want to be in relationship. You know, but what happens is. A lot of times that stuff that happens to us— and again, you know, I'm not minimizing the amount of stuff that happens to people, you know.

Right.

And yet, if, if it was a laboratory for discovering who you're here to be and what you're here to do— in other words, rather than— see, a lot of times those things happen and people get stopped by them, or they live their life that somehow now they're limited by that thing that happened to them. He left me for a younger woman. Um, you know, uh, my business failed and I, I, you know, I, I was ruined. In other words, all of these things that happen, if we get stopped by them, then life, life goes the way society tells it to. Society, I think, tells us it's a, um, bell-shaped curve of life. After 40, 50, or 60, your best is going to be behind you. Your best career, your best creativity, best ingenuity, your best hot sex— all of that is behind you. But what if it— yeah, what, what if those laboratories were just that too? And, and if you could look at them from the point of view that Ooh, what did I get out of that? You know, what are the blessings that came out of that? What are my— I call them self-expression directives— that came out of that happening for me so that now I actually get to become more of who I came here to be? We don't come— I don't think we come out being who we came to be. I think we're discovering who we came to be.

Yeah, great. And that's just— just a couple of questions have just come in. The first one was, when do we enter the game and when do we start playing it? Well, I think you've answered that, is that the game is this game of self-discovery, so it's continual. Yes. Your level of choice as to how much you dive into it is your level of choice at that time. And one of the other questions was, is why is it behind us? And I know you're going to sort of answer that as we continue with the conversation. I know I've had a conversation with you and, you know, my dear friend Peter Nicholls here in Australia who has the same philosophy as you in that, you know, the next, the next 40 are the best years. So I look forward to answering more of that question as we go along. Did you have something to comment on there?

Well, you know, I will say something about that. It is a continual process. Here's the thing. I think until we actually wake up, though, to the fact that everything's been laboratories, it's easy for us to carry on some kind of victim idea. In other words, if you ask people, why are you the way you are? They'll say, because of this, because this happened, because that happened, that has me be this way. Well, the problem with that is that if you keep because-ing your way into your later years, You're going to get smaller and smaller and smaller with less and less possibilities. The twist we play on it in the book, The Back Forty, is rather than because, what if I was the cause? In other words, what if I designed it all that way?

Mm.

And, and again, I'm not minimizing some of the horrible stuff that's happened to people, but if we can even get to a point of looking to see like, oh, what are the blessings? I'm going to force myself to see the blessings that came out of that and what it now makes me able to do. Like you supporting speakers, you supporting people bringing out their brands and stuff like that. That was something that came about by greater discovery of self-expression. And if everything that's happening in our life is giving us that, then guess what? It's not a down-and-out model. It's an up-and-out model.

Yeah.

Right. And, and so it's not— so we have past to, to look at. And I have, I have a process in the book I call Discovery and Expression Analysis. And it's based on the idea that your entire life has been a unique and powerful laboratory for the discovery and expression of something. And so when you can analyze all of those things that have happened to you in a way where you see the self-expression directives, whoa, number one, there's nobody to forgive. There's no closure I need to have on my past. There's— I don't have to be complete with it because, hey, I designed it all that way. But now I can start running conscious experiments. Now I can— like you said, in the top 10 tips, we talk about play. What happens very often as people get older is that we're supposed to be getting wise, right? As you get older, you get wise. And so you'll find people at 50, 55, 60, and this is how men are, this is how women are, this is the way it is in the world, this is the way the world is. And guess what? They have no possibility.

Boxed. Yeah.

And so I say that that kind of wisdom can become your prison. What about at 55, rather than being scared you're gonna look silly or you're gonna do it wrong and fall on your face, all those things we get so concerned about looking good, that what if you start your own business at 55? What if you become an entrepreneur at 55? What if you learn salsa at 55 or 70 or whatever? So, to answer that question is, it's an ongoing process, but now we can be consciously aware of the games that we're playing. And if we can play first and forget about looking good and take on being like a 20-year-old, a 20-year-old— Yeah. Hey, the world's their oyster. They're not afraid. They're going to fall on their face. What if we could give ourselves that room? Then we can start having bigger possibilities ahead too and not playing safe. Sorry, it's a long answer.

No, no, I love it. Thank you very much. And it actually reminded me of a story I'd forgotten. When Andrew and I, my ex-husband and I, separated, Rory was only 5 at the time and he got very, very, very serious. He became a very serious child. He's quite analytical, but he's very creative at the same time. And I remember him and I going for a walk, um, and he had, um, there was puddles there, and I wanted him and I to jump in the puddle together to be a bit fun and a bit naughty. And he, he was like, no, we, we can't jump in the puddle. And we had a whole conversation about, you know, it's, you know, fun is now. And we did end up jumping in the puddles and we did get dirty and all the rest of it. And that was a bit of a tipping point for him because he found the fun again because we'd had such a serious, you know, moment in time in our lives with the changes that were going on. He, he in that moment was very serious and it was very important to bring that play back in. And that's obviously why it resonated with me this morning. So thank you very, very much. And so just going back to the, um, the Back 40, how did you actually begin that process, um, with this, with the new programs and the new launches? And who's it really for?

Well, um, first off, it's been an R&D project for me. The, you know, the Back 40, the book itself is only now available for preorder. Okay, this has been a process for 18 years. Okay. But what I'll say is that the idea started using me, you know, this idea, and everyone I would tell it to would be like, okay, good. It just gave people relief. Like, what if everything I've done has been perfect? I don't have to live like I've made mistakes and done things wrong. It's all been perfect. It's all been laboratories. Yeah. And so anyhow, the book came along. I actually met my wife through the Back 40. The Back 40 has brought me so many great things. She was in a readers group for my initial manuscript. And I won't go into all of her story, but she had a personal breakthrough in going through the exercises, which allowed her to move through a divorce. that had been needing to happen for a long time. And then, you know, it was just great because, you know, she was in my reading group. We connected around this idea. We started doing some live programs just to see how these ideas would land with people. And again, it just really seemed to land and give a lot of— you know, we all need hope, inspiration at all times. Yeah. But, you know, especially at that midlife when the stuff's hitting the fan, you know, to see that, oh, maybe I'm— maybe this is perfect. Oh, I didn't know this was perfect, but I get to now be who I came here to be. And the last couple of years has really been about finalizing the book. And who is it for? Look, you know, let me, let me explain the, the name The Back Forty. So I think I know it was popular in Britain, but I don't know if Dallas 20 years or 30 years ago was popular in Australia. Okay, but they used

to— it was a family show.

Exactly, exactly. And so I grew up in Texas, but the point is, is that the back 40 refers to that back part of a farm or a ranch that is yet uncultivated and yet has infinite growth potential. So the metaphor is that, okay, the second half of our life is really this uncultivated patch with infinite growth potential depending on how we hold it.

Yes.

As opposed to this if we hold it like that. And so who is the message for? Well, obviously it's for those of us 40 and above, but the point being is, is that a couple things— all of us are looking for purpose. And I think to a great degree, even when people are kind of starting in getting into their 30s, you know, they're starting— they've already done the, you know, not everybody, but a lot of them have done the things you're supposed to do. And so then looking to see, okay, well, now I'm in this machine, but where do I find myself and my self-expression? And, um, but, but One of the great things that I think is applicable for everyone, it's even applicable for these times, I think, is what I was talking about a minute ago. So, there's 7 embraces to launch life's radical second half. The first and the second one are the past and the present. So, if you have the ability to embrace your past and your present, to not be a victim to it anymore, That frees you up. And if you can put yourself in a place where, again, you know, even that most horrible thing that you think happened to you and limited you, if you can put yourself into a place of appreciation for what it now gave you, what it gave you to be, what it gave you to do, then you're freed up. And if you can cause your past Guess what? You can cause your future. And so I think that that's, you know, that is a great aspect of this that, that people across the board, you know, all ages have been able to benefit from.

Yes, very much so. Thank you. And I think it's very important. And one of my self-realizations was that we're always and continually evolving. And through that evolution, and each time we evolve, through that next cycle, if you want to call it a cycle, having the ability to look back retrospectively and then join the dots to go, oh, that was the lesson. Okay, that leads to that. That's why I now do what I do. And you touched on— and I'm going to go back to the word purpose— and you touched on how people are really looking for that and finding what their purpose is. I've certainly noticed that very dramatically in my industry with COVID and everything that's People are becoming more purposeful. They're asking the question now, you know, what am I actually here for? And perhaps have had that slap on the back of going, hey, perhaps this isn't what I was here for. Perhaps I'm living somebody else's story. So, and you also started to talk about why it's so important now. So I'd love you to dig into that a little bit more now as to why what you're doing with this Back 40 and helping people map out their future future is so important because of what's occurred in the world just of late.

Sure. And I mentioned that it was a long process and R&D for me that the book actually came into form, you know, after many, many years and many iterations. So we just went public with it in a pre-order kind of campaign that's going on. But the point being is why we actually wanted to move it out now is because this is exactly a time where people are getting— look, in the run of the, the, the rat wheel— do you know what I mean by the rat wheel?

Absolutely.

You know, the rat on a wheel? In the run of the rat wheel, most of us don't have time to take stock and really, you know, think about things. And all of us in this, these COVID times, unless we're getting hooked on Netflix or You know, something like that. You know, it's a great time to actually kind of reassess. And as the world is going to change so much out of this, it already has changed so much, right? Mm-hmm. But it's gonna be a different world. It's a great time to design a different— I won't even say different you, but it's a great time to, to discover a real you. And what I find through the 7 embraces is that people can really do a midlife makeover. Yeah. And again, you know, just to clarify, if people are wondering, the first embrace is your past. And again, as I said, your past and your present, embracing them in such a way where you're not a victim. Well, we play a little game here around the COVID thing if you want to. Again, you know, obviously none of us wanted this, but if right now, Sally, I asked you— and this isn't going to be a fantasy, and this isn't saying, you know, that we wanted all this, but it's really a mindset shift that starts to put you more in charge versus at the effect of things— can I just ask you— Mm-hmm. If I, if I, if I said, tell me 4 blessings that have come out of this COVID thing for the last 9 months in your life, what are 4 blessings, things that wouldn't have happened anyhow? Do you have any idea of what those would be?

Yeah, absolutely. So for me, I— first one was I saw my community. So my community of professional speakers suddenly go into massive service for their clients and really collaborating with each other. Prior to that, it was an industry that was a little bit, you know, we're all in this together, but we're all competitors. So I saw massive collaboration and service. For me personally, I went into high delivery mode to help a lot of the speakers. But what then came out of that afterwards was then the stillness and the oh wow, I can do— I like doing this. I could perhaps do more of this. If I was to do more of this, what would it look like? And that was how, um, this— the radio show started and then the TV show. So obviously that was a godsend. It gave me the opportunity to have more great conversations and connections on LinkedIn, uh, because I wasn't able to go out and connect face to face. So I went back to another form of doing that, which was obviously how we met. And then I've had more, more time at home with a 17-year-old teenager.

Okay, well, is that a blessing? No, I'm just joking.

Yeah, absolutely. I've been very, very lucky. And I've got lots of friends that refer to their teenagers as the grunting folk at home. And Rory's never been that. So we've had lots of animated fun. So During those times, we've had— we've been back cooking in the kitchen together. We've been experimenting. We've been mucking around with the dog. We've just had different, different conversations because we've had to stop and actually be very present.

So, you know, the thing is, and this isn't the full method or the full exercise outlined in the book, but notice That when we even start to look at, oh, look at all this that's come out of this, you're going to be a very different person. You already are. You're now a radio host, you know, TV host, all of this. It's like your life has gone a different trajectory based on this. And not like you, Sally Curtis, alone said, okay, I'm going to bring COVID out of the universe so that this could happen, right? So not like crazy.

Yeah.

But when you can start to see, oh, you know what, this is actually giving me direction, you know, to who I really came here to be. And guess what? If COVID did not come along, you might— you and I might not be doing this right now. You may not be helping the speakers and everything in the way that you are. Okay. So anyhow, there's embracing the past and the present. Embracing your gifts. Because when you get, you know, to be 40, 50, 60, or whatever, your— most of your gifts came from the school of hard knocks and the school of life versus what you learned in school. And so really have— taking the time to do an inventory of what are the gifts, because a lot of times People's the gifts that people have developed, and I've been coaching people around their careers. You know most of my life, but but the real gifts were not a skill or a trade, but it's something that evolved organically. That guess what? If you are really here to fulfill a purp, you know maybe a lot of times people feel locked into what they've done, but you've already proven that you're. No one's locked in. So becoming aware of your gifts at midlife, becoming aware, embracing your new values, because your values are very different than they were 10, 20, 30 years ago. And if you keep operating on obsolete values, you know, some— sometimes we got to, like, take an inventory. Embrace number 5 is your initiation. Some people call that midlife crisis.

That got my attention.

Yeah, we, we actually call it midlife opportunity because, again, if you're going to operate from this idea that the first half is just R&D, then guess what? When you hit that point, it's like you said, it's either I'm tired of this. You know, that may be the first expression of it. But what comes after I'm tired of this is, OK, OK, so what allows me then to break out of this. And again, that's where the kind of the discovery and the expression analysis comes in. Embrace number 6 is your purpose. Now, let's— you brought up your purpose. Yeah. So many people feel this pressure to find their purpose. You know, my purpose. And we can pressure ourselves completely out of the game. Because we can operate, you know, or we operate as if there's this one piece of the puzzle. If I find that one piece— Sally, have you ever, you ever put together a jigsaw puzzle?

I have.

You ever get to these— there's times where there's like, oh, I need to find this one piece. And everybody gets focused on finding that one piece. But guess what? What if you kind of relax on that one piece and take what you have and put together everything else that you have? Number one, that one piece may show up. But number two, even if it doesn't, look at the picture you've created.

Mm-hmm.

And so when you can really, you know, inventory those gifts and relieve yourself of any mistakes from the past, and actually start to look at what gives you joy now, what gives you juice now, then people can start playing with purpose. In other words, versus I got to find it. It's like I call it purposeful practice.

Yeah.

See what gives you joy. Go start practicing playing in it. Jump in the puddle. Get muddy. One of the coaching things I tell a lot of people sometimes when they're afraid they're going to look stupid or trying something new, I say play ugly, play ugly, play dirty, get messy.

Yeah.

Because then at least you're in the game and you can huddle and see what you learned and go play again because that's what kids do. And I think that's what, you know, for us to live a radical second half unlimited by the past, it's learning to play again and explore and discover and operate from curiosity. The last embrace is a purpose. I'm sorry, no, the last embrace is a presence, meaning, you know, when you can start to make yourself available, free from your past, can you also make yourself available for something to start to use you? Kind of like this back 40 has used me. And so that chapter is all about just how do you make yourself available? Meditation, yoga, you know, all kind of practices in there that that I go into to kind of get a feeling of a wind beneath your wings.

Yeah, yeah, beautiful. I'm just going to touch, just dive back just slightly back to the jigsaw puzzle, because when you were talking about the, have I done, have I created the jigsaw puzzle and have I tried to find that one piece, what flashed back for me was the determination to find that one piece that now is eluding me, that we still can't find. Now we're getting cross and too intense trying to find that one piece. And in that moment where you sort of go, stuff it, and you just give up and you back off, and you actually look at the whole picture and you start to see it, you actually, you see it was there the whole time. It was just hidden in plain sight. And that's because you've moved from that determination, that should, that must, that have to, and all the rest of it, to a determination of what is the opportunity, what is the possibilities, what is actually here for me.

And what you bring up, Sally, is I think the crux of the matter. What's behind that determination is the ego.

Yeah.

And again, you know, we are all very, you know, protective of our egos. And, you know, we're, we're very, uh, you know, if you talk about someone's ego, you know, that, that can challenge them. And yet the ego wants to already know. The ego wants to look good. The ego wants to protect itself from looking stupid or looking bad. And so again, if we're going to create a radical second half unlimited by any supposed, you know, anything from before, it's going to take, uh, letting go of the ego as well. And, and, and that's why in the chapter on a presence, it's really about how much can we start to let go of our, our design or our idea of what it's got to look like.

Yeah.

Because again, the stories When we, when we do programs, we always have these stories where we say, who am I? And we describe someone. And by so many people that became, quote, famous or they became known for something, didn't even start it until they were 60, 70 or whatever. Right. Let me give you one. So at 70 years old, arthritis kept her from picking cotton in the fields, and therefore she was limited to, you know, she couldn't do the work she had done as a sharecropper for most of her life. So she picked up a paintbrush and in the next 15 years created 1,000 paintings. Grandma Moses.

Hmm.

So the point being is, is that sometimes when it's we let go of our picture that the real, you know, purpose and design, along with our purposeful practice, can, can, can, can find its way.

Yeah, I think that's such a great, great lesson. And that's been the biggest one for me is to stop that. I refer to it as rushing woman, where you're And I'm— this is a very strong reflection on me where I've got, I've got hold of that thing. I've got hold of that vision and I'm marching forward and I'm just doing this the whole time. And I now know that's the ego and it's the moving forward. And yes, I am fast-paced and yes, I do get stuff done and those sorts of things. But there was a time where it was— I was so determined and I was getting really like that. You can see, you can feel here and feel the attention already. And for me, what the gift was, was actually having to, having to stop due to ill health a couple of, couple of times, and then going, oh, perhaps, you know, joining the dots, perhaps I should do, you know, not do that. And then, as you've alluded to, having some daily purposeful practices, whatever they need to be for you. And that was, for me, was stopping and meditating and just not being in, um, the easiest way for me to describe it is not being in force, but allowing flow.

Yeah.

And having the ability to look back and join the dots and have a laugh with the universe. Um, that, yes, thank you very much. I love your sense of humor and, and catching the pieces and, and going from, from there.

If, if, if COVID-19, and again, I, you know, I'm not minimizing that, that people, a lot of people are You know, there's real struggles going on. So some people may right now not even have the time to really do that self-exploration or whatever. And, you know, and, you know, for those of us who have— are blessed enough to have a little bit of space to do some exploration, you know, this could be the time where we got off of that, got off the rails a little bit. To look to see, you know, what's you know versus that that determination going to make it happen. You know, look to see what's you know what what's real that that's calling to us. You know, so many people have heart attacks. You know, they go they they put themselves you know into a situation where the health. fails and it wakes them up. But, you know, if we can wake up before our body has to wake us up, you know, all the better.

Just had a good question come up on the thing. We've had a couple. Should we get off the rails before we fall off the rails? My answer to that would be yes, if you know that that's the case. So what would your experience be with the people that you work with? They got an awareness that they're on the rails and that they're needing to get off? Or where are they? Realization?

Yeah, everybody's got to dance with their own situation, right? I mean, if the light bill needs to be paid, you know, but, but at the same time, you gotta keep the light on in your own soul. So it's a dance, isn't it? I think a lot of times, Sally, it's The awareness, because I think what happens is that we get knocked off the rail because we're not even paying attention.

Yes.

We're not, we're not doing the self-care. We're not doing the introspection. And again, that's why these times are a blessing in the sense that, oh, you know what, you know, I was— my wife and I, we were, you know, seeing each other every now and then, but she's going to the gym this night and I was doing this and stuff like that. I'm sitting right now in our dining and living area, and our barbells are right below me. We work out together now, you know, here 3 nights a week. We, you know, we, we've developed our relationship is just a whole other place. So in other words, if, if you become aware and you can start making those little by little inroads, Maybe you save yourself from that big wake-up call and you can gradually move into that transformation. But, but I think it's really just, you know, being aware that, that that's the direction you want to go. It doesn't have to be any drastic things, you know, unless, of course, you know, sometimes people do a drastic thing and that if that works for them, that's cool too.

Yeah, I often talk about that. Sometimes we get the little feather, you know, the little tickle from the universe about wake up, come on, wake up. And then we get the brick. And then we get the Mack truck. So my mum's stroke was the Mack truck. And but I can look back now and I can actually see all of the join the dots. Oh, that was the feather. Oh, that— oh, there was the bricks. And then there was the Mack truck, which was the big wake-up call. So—

Well, that's a great— I love the metaphor. And I would say that my life prior to this wake-up call that I had. And by the way, I was in that situation of my own design. You know, I'm a very different person now than I was that had me in a half-million-dollar custody suit around my son. But the point being is, is that I've now at least developed some semblance of noticing a feather. It used to only be Mack trucks.

Yes, yes, yes, that was so true for me too. It was only Mack trucks, but now I've sort of— yes, that's such a great description of the evolution that you have where you do start to see the feathers. Thank you. Yeah, that's great. Um, so tell us a little bit more about the book, um, as— and, and how people can connect with you. We have had the ticker going along the bottom which does have the website details for people to be able to order the book and get that and also get those downloads from you. So tell us a little bit more about how people can connect with you. And it's just going across the ticker now. Thank you, Rebel. And yeah, so tell us a little bit more.

Good. And I see you have our website there. I would love folks to check out our website where the book is though right now, where they could preorder the book. And by the way, we've set this up where we want to give everything we can to support people to engage in this mindset and these methods right away, even though the book is yet to come, you know, several months out. And so we have a lot of bonuses there, whether it be 3-part masterclasses that everyone who buys the book gets to participate in, or online programs that are going to be free for them, or even coaching, you know, one-on-one coaching, we're happy to provide. But if people— this is a Bitly, so I don't know if people are familiar with Bitlys, but if you go to bit.ly, so bit.ly/back40newbook, and it's spelled out F-O-R-T-Y. So it's bit.ly/back40newbook. new book, and they can preorder a first edition autographed copy of the book along with all of those bonuses that we have available.

Yeah, beautiful. And just going in this scroll, when you go in to get the downloadable gift from Darryl today, which is his 10 tips, the link is actually in there for, for you to go through to the book. And that's going along the ticker. It'll also be up on the radio station's blog. It'll be as a link underneath this video when it goes up as a replay. And of course, in the Facebook community, etc., as well. So that's great. And people can connect with you through your website and as I did on LinkedIn.

I still, I still, I'm going to take your class on LinkedIn because that's just been such a blessing. And now See how it works? I've connected you to others, you've connected me to others. It's just, just, just what an angel you are on LinkedIn.

Oh, thank you. But that's where I discover all these pots of gold with all these fabulous people that are making a difference and helping, and certainly helping others out. So thank you very, very much. And just as a bit of a tying off, because we do still have a few little minutes left, what would be your either top 3 tips, what, what would you suggest people do or can do today, um, or do right now, um, to help themselves, um, have the self-discovery or start to lead themselves on that self-discovery journey?

Well, uh, I think first things first is, um, as we talked about here, get on top of this COVID thing versus being at the effect of it. And again, in, in the book, and, and like I said, even though the book will be a couple months, you know, out, um, there's exercises we're providing people with even now.

Yeah.

Of how do you get on top of it is first look at the blessings like we just did.

Yeah.

And look to see, ask yourself the question, silly question, but ask yourself, hmm, If I brought this thing on for myself, if I brought this up— like someone yesterday told me that her business is down 75% now. Actually, it was a story I heard about someone whose business was down, and someone said, what, how does she look at it? And I said, well, it's hard right now when you're in something that you think is supposed to be what you're doing. But you know what? Her business may morph now into something else. It may now become bigger than it ever was in something else. So, but, but to get on top of it, you got to look at the blessings of what you have received out of this. And if this is teaching me something, if there's something about my greater self-expression to come out of this, what would that be? And by the way, this might be the perfect time to start exploring new things. No, you may not be able to get out in the world and do it as much with other people, but you can start researching, you can start connecting with others, you can start learning. This is a great incubation time if you use it productively in that way.

And I'm going to ask you another quick Quick question, because I've just had this pop up. One of the phrasings that I mentioned on the top 10 tips was believe. So when people have had that little bit of a deep dive into the, you know, what's the possibilities, what could become of this, how do they go about helping to increase— I'm going to call it increasing their belief levels. What can they do to help with their own belief around what's next for them?

It's really going to take— it takes a personal mindset shift. Look, a wise man once told me this: you can operate in life 2 ways. You can operate like you are at effect, or you can operate like you're at cause.

Hmm.

Now, neither of them is true. You know, you— but you got to make a choice, and everybody makes a choice. If you choose to operate like you're at effect, that shapes your world because you are then blown around like the leaves on the trees. Okay, you have nothing to say about the way life's gonna go.

Mm-hmm.

If you choose to operate that you're at cause, that you have a say around it, it's just going to be a different world. And again, it's just choosing. So if you, you know, believing comes from choosing that I have a say and operating from that.

Thank you. Thank you very, very much, Darryl. I can't thank you enough for sharing your wisdom with us today on the show. Thank you so much. Thank you for all the great connections you've provided. And thank you for the great gifts that you've got for the community today.

Thank you, Sally. Thank you for being a demonstration of someone playing big and, and always with her biggest game yet to come. You're really a demonstration of this. And I'm honored to know you and appreciate all that you're doing.

Thank

you for all the listeners and everyone who gets in touch with you.

Lovely. Thank you very much. So just very, very quickly, next week's show, we have Caelan Huntress who's joining us. Now he's a marketing strategist as well and also a fellow speaker, and he's going to be sharing how to create 12 months worth of content with ease. So I look forward to sharing another person with some fabulous inner genius with you next week on our show. I look forward to sharing more with you then. Thank you very, very much.

That's it for this week's episode. Thank you so much for joining us. I trust you got some inspirational tips to move you forward. See you next Thursday at 7 PM Eastern for more Success Secrets Exposed.