Success Secrets Exposed - The man of your dreams & the life you were meant to live?

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Welcome to Success Secrets Exposed with Sally A. Curtis, where we share stories of challenge, success, and inspiration, along with practical tips and strategies to move you forward to your success. And now, here is your host, Sally A. Curtis.

Good evening, good morning, and good day to you all, and welcome to another episode of Success Secrets Exposed. For those of you that are new to the show, I'm a content repurposing whiz for speakers, authors, coaches, and consultants. I help them turn their books and/or content into 2 years' worth of social media posts that help them increase their visibility, their credibility, and their profitability, effectively helping them turn their existing content and collateral into new profits. And today I'm excited to share with you a guest called Nicola Harrison. As an author, Nicola writes fiction novels about themes that affect many women. And in her latest novel, The Showgirl, she discusses the challenges of career versus love, which in many ways has mirrored challenges in her own life. This has actually prompted our chat today, which is how do you choose the life you love and The Man You Love. Prior to writing novels, she worked as a fashion journalist in New York City and now lives in Manhattan Beach, California with her husband, 2 sons, and a high-maintenance Chihuahua called Lola. Please help me welcome to the show Nicola Harrison.

Hi, thanks so much for having me.

Thank you so much for joining us. It's been a pleasure to find out a little bit more and listen to and do some research about some of your work. So I'm excited to be able to share some of this with the audience today. So thank you for joining us.

Yeah, absolutely. Thanks.

Now I'd love to know a little bit, if we can share with the audience a bit about your backstory and how you got into this type of writing.

Yeah, sure. So I write fiction, I write historical fiction, and I generally seem to write about women who are strong female protagonists who are usually, you know, facing some kind of adversity or confronting some sort of pain in their life. And they're generally at a point— when I start writing about them, they're at a point in their life where they're trying to rebuild or start over or something like that. And that seems to be the theme that I keep writing about in my books. But the funny thing is, it wasn't intentional. Um, and my— it wasn't until I actually just recently turned in my recent book to my editor that, um, she said to me, well, you write about strong female women who don't need a man. You know, they're gonna do it on their own terms. And, um, and I said, oh, okay, yeah, actually, you're right, I do. And I think the reason is, um, that I, I think a lot of authors that you'll ask, if they really think about it, is they end up putting some of their own personal experience into their novels, even though they're fiction, even though it's fiction and the story is, you know, made up or created or imagined or however you want to say it. Um, they tend— we tend to put some of our own feelings and emotions into, into those stories. So, so that's what I'm writing right now. But, um, my, my background is, um, I, I was always writing. I always loved to write. Um, I studied literature and creative writing and in university. And then, as you mentioned, I went into a career of fashion journalism. So I was like finding a way to write in a way that I could make a living, but I was always taking a writing class on the side or at night to be creative and do sort of my own writing. And then eventually that started to turn into a novel. So that's sort of the fast story of how I got there.

Yeah, beautiful. And there's a couple of things I love about that. A, the falling into this habit or this genre or however you call it. And I think that for me, with the clients that I work with, and if I look at my own life, when you sort of suddenly fall into something and it becomes that habit, it's usually a good indication that you're following your inner genius and that that's the purposeful thing that you're meant to be doing.

Yeah.

So I love that. Yeah. And I think so many of our listeners and certainly my communities, they are made up of very, very strong women who are used to reinventing themselves themselves are continually evolving, are strong, but with that strength, they do want to have that vulnerability and find love. But, you know, there's that balance. And, you know, when they're— when you, when you're sort of charging ahead, you do have to make, um, some tough choices. So I think it is a very, very, uh, relevant, uh, theme to be having because there's so many people that are in that sort of transition stage. Right. And that can be, you know, sometimes that's 30-something, sometimes that's 40-something, sometimes that's 50-something and even beyond.

Yeah.

I love that we're going to have a conversation around some of these themes today, so thank you. So tell us a little bit more as to the kind of writing that you do, because there was lots of descriptive words when I was reading it. Some of the reviews talked about it being a cinema— Cinematography. Cinematography.

Yes.

I knew it wasn't quite right and I didn't

write

it down. So you're obviously really good at extracting and putting people into the film or the movie style of that, right, the writing that you do, which again to me comes out to be an inner genius element because writing is not my thing, which is why I love speaking to so many authors.

Right.

I see that as a gift. So explain some of that to us as well, please.

Yeah, yeah. So I mean, I love picking a time in history and, and really doing a deep dive into it. And, and, you know, learning all about what was going on at that time, and especially what was going on for women and how they were affected, um, by what was going on in, in the world. Um, and I, and I really end up doing a lot of research and, and a deep dive into that. And I like incorporate— and I, I like incorporating all of as many elements and details as I can into the novel without it feeling, um, textbooky. Or, you know, you don't— you never want people to feel like they're reading about a you know, the 1920s or the 1930s. You want them to feel like they're in it, they're stepped into that world. Um, so I, so I really enjoy capturing all of that. But like I said, um, I think what probably makes it feel maybe authentic, makes the writing feel authentic, even when I'm writing it about a time that's, you know, we can't necessarily relate to, like the 1920s or the 1930s, um, I think it's it's that I I pour some of my myself into into these stories. So, for example, with my first novel Montauk, this was my first novel. I was when I first started to write this book, I was actually going through a divorce, and I lived in New York City, and my ex-husband had to move to London for work, and my family, my parents lived in California, and I felt very. alone and sort of terrified about the future. At that time, I had a 4-year-old son, and I was like, oh my gosh, what am I going to do? And it was sort of a terrifying time. But one thing that I realized being a single mom was that at 7 o'clock, my son was in bed and I had the whole evening to myself. So I started very seriously writing this book, my first book. And This story is set in the 1930s, and it's called Montauk, and it takes place in a little town at the tip of Long Island, which is just past the Hamptons. Mm-hmm. And it's about a woman who's, you know, in an unstable marriage, and, you know, she's spending the summer out in Montauk, and her husband is going back and forth to the city during the week, and she's supposed to be getting in with these high society women staying at this hotel, but instead she finds herself getting in with the locals instead. You know, it's a fictional story, but my own sort of feelings and emotions were sort of poured into that character. And so, you know, I think that sort of raw emotion is what made it kind of feel real. And then with The Showgirl, I was at a very different stage of my life. I had— when I was writing that book, I was lucky enough to fall in love again, and I got remarried and had just had a baby. So now I have 2 boys. I have a 12-year-old and a 3-year-old. But so I had just had a baby and I was very happy. And I was also very happy with the fact that I had started this new career where I had— I was writing books. It was like a dream job. And, um, but I was also very, very sort of protective of that, this newfound, um, career dream job that I had. And even though I was a newlywed and a new mom for the second time, I wanted to really protect my— this opportunity that I had to write. I had a second book deal with a big publishing house, and I really didn't want to mess it up. And so—

Yeah.

And fortunately, my husband's very supportive, and we got, like, a full-time nanny, which felt kind of crazy at the time. You know, the baby was only a month old. And I'd never had a full-time nanny before when I was— when I'd been a mom. But I was like, I am not— even though I'm a mom, I'm not going to let things get in the way. And I'm going to do this. I'm going to be successful. And I felt very driven. So even though for my second book, The Showgirl, it's set in the 1920s and it's about a young woman who is determined to make it onto the Broadway stage as a Ziegfeld Follies showgirl. And she is going to do this no matter what. So even though that is very different from my life, I ended up once again sort of subconsciously pouring myself into that character as well, in that I was feeling very determined and I was going to succeed and, you know, I sort of wasn't going to let anything get in my way. And, you know, some people could say, well, you know, that's It's selfish, but I felt like that was what I owed it to myself to keep pushing forward. I don't know if that answered your question. I think I just went off on a different tangent.

Beautifully. What I was really hearing within there is the commonalities or the parallels with the showgirl. You mentioned determination, drive, which obviously you had. Well, there's obviously some— I'm going to use the word strategic choices because, you know, they're choices that aren't made like that necessarily. They're a choice where there's a bit of a weighing up and, you know, there's a bit of self-reflection going on. Is this the right path? You know, and there's that internal toing and froing to get to the point of that choice, which I see many women do. And some do it, you know, in this much time frame and some do it over this much time frame. It's that toing and froing to get to their right decision.

Right.

And I think that, you know, that, that part becomes very important for, you know, the audience and women as we're going through that at the moment. Because we've— I remember my mum saying when she had her stroke, she's not with us now, but so mum would have been in her late 90s now. So sort of, sort of similar era. And I remember her saying to me at one point when we went to see her was, she just came out of it and she just said, Sally, For God's sake, stop settling for.

Right.

You know, and I think that's a lot— there's a lot of that where we get into that driven state. Now, Mum, I wouldn't have seen her as a driven person, but obviously there was some drive there. But because of her era and the way her personality, perhaps she didn't drive as far forward with things that she wanted to do. And I think that's a bit of a commonality where there was, I don't know whether it's less choice back then or less action in some scenarios. So I'd love to explore what you found from a research perspective as well as how it's paralleled with your life.

Yeah, definitely. So it's so— it was so interesting to write about women in the 1920s. Such a fascinating decade for women. I mean, there was so much change going on. They had just got the right to vote. And of course, all of my main character in this book is a flapper. She's a true independent, you know, woman of her time. And, you know, getting that right to vote really emboldened women, and they, they want— they were really fighting for their freedom to, to, you know, do live life the way they wanted to live it, to dress the way they wanted to dress, which was so completely different from the way their parents had dressed. I mean, it's funny now, when I was writing about fashion, to think that now the slight changes in fashion that happened to us, like, it's like, okay, we're gonna go from a skinny jean to a, to a straight leg jean or mid-rise to a high-rise. We're talking like an inch difference here or there. But then they went from wearing these dresses that were down to the ankle in these structured wool fabrics with corsets to wearing dresses to the knee, showing off their full leg. And, you know, throwing the corsets out the window and cutting their hair short. It was just so, so drastic. And so you can see how the older generation was completely shocked by that change, but these younger women must have felt so incredibly free and liberated. Liberated. Yes. But fashion alone, I mean, that's a whole thing in itself, but then just, you know, they wanted to dance the way they wanted to dance. They wanted to smoke if they wanted to smoke. It was like, they just, wanted to do that. But there was also a lot of pushback from the older generation. I mean, the elder generation were very scandalized by it. And, and so in my novel, Olive, you know, and she has to sort of make some sacrifices and, and decide, is she, you know, she has to basically give up her family in order to follow the path that she wants to go down.

Yeah, and that's really interesting. There was the word risqué came up a number of times. It was perceived and judged as being risqué, but it really wasn't— sort of perhaps perceived then, but it wasn't really as risqué as it perhaps could have been in some of those examples. Right. And that's when you're going into those things that are unconventional, you do get judged and set aside by family members at different times. And I know women have experienced that when they've got divorced Or they've left a husband that nobody thought they should leave, or, you know, they've done something different, or, you know, in some cases got a nanny, a full-time nanny on, and all those sorts of things when we, we are judged by others, but we push on through for the— because we've made that choice for ourselves versus, you know, what other people think is right for us.

Yes, yes, definitely. And there's another point in the book where she You know, she does fall in love and she finds them— she's not looking for a man. She thinks, I don't need a man. He's gonna get in my way. I am like on this path to become like a showgirl. And, but then of course, when you're least expecting it, this man comes along. And he's sort of the first man who really accepts her for her modern ways and her passion for success and her independent nature. And so he sort of whisks her off her feet. But then, but then, you know, later he starts to change his tune because pressure from family start to say, like, you know, what's it going to be like to be married to a showgirl and what kind of a life is that? And so, so he starts to change his tune on her and wants her actually to adopt the more traditional role, which is exactly what she was trying to avoid. Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, I think that there was certainly this, this freedom and this excitement and the celebratory feeling of the decade for women. But, um, there was a long way to go, you know, they weren't there. And, and I feel like even now, it's funny that writing that book then for the 1920s, I feel like, okay, we've come a long way as women, but some of the— a lot of these, um, feelings and themes, we're still facing them now. We're still trying to push back on these traditional roles that are sort of placed on us.

Yeah, very, very much so. And that was what I was wanting to explore. So what were some of the things— because what you spelled out as far as, you know, love comes in from left field, so to speak, it's not what you want, it's because you're charging ahead, and as you say, you get swept off your feet, and then the requests for change start to come in again. And that's so, so, so typical of life. It's almost whether that's the, you know, the new partner or the new husband. It can also change when you, when you actually get into a career. It starts off this way

and

there's conformities that come in and, you know, we just need to tone things down. There's all this, this, um, you know, um, I'm going to use the word settling for, or, you know, you, you can't be as big, you can't be too much. Yeah. You've got, got to come back to these, have these more filters on it. So share with us some of the things, uh, around those sorts of themes that you've discovered through your research in the history that you've drawn into the books, and especially now how they're actually— they're still occurring now.

Yeah, yeah. Yo, I mean, I definitely wanted to explore in this book this idea of, you know, can you have it all? And that is something that I feel is so relevant today, but it was something that they were— the women then were starting to, you know, it was their first taste of it. But I really loved delving into that topic. And, you know, can you, can you have the career and the dream job? And then can you also be a good wife and a good mother and even like a good friend? And can you do all that? Or do you have to like pick and choose and say, okay, I can do 2 of those things or one of those things? And so, so, yeah, I mean, I definitely, I think I face that now. I think a lot of women face that now. Mm-hmm. And certainly, In this book, I wanted Olive to be thrust into that, into those sorts of questions. And it's funny because when, as an author, you're told never go onto Goodreads or Amazon or whatever and read your reviews, but, you know, of course you do. And there are some people on there, a few people were like, you know, she's selfish. She comes across as selfish and self-absorbed. And I was like, yes, she does. And that's the whole point. Like, she does make some questionable choices, and because she's trying to figure it out. You know, we don't have all of the answers in front of us when we're trying to navigate this, um, this balance and trying to find a balance. And I, I wanted to write a character that was flawed. And, um, you know, that's— that, first of all, it's fun to write a character that's flawed, but you want someone to, like, make mistakes along the way and, and then, you know, take some re-steps and Figure out what's going to work for them.

Yeah, and I think too what you've actually said, those resteps there, the person that would have actually said, you know, that she was selfish and all those sorts of things, a few years down the track may actually have a different perspective because they may have lived some of that themselves.

Right.

So there's all sorts of different reviews there and there's different perspectives. Yeah. And you tend to resonate with Your own life experience, obviously. Yeah,

yeah.

And some of the sacrifices— what— oh, sorry, I should say, what, what were some of the sacrifices that she took on board and then perhaps changed later? Can you share any of that with us?

Yeah, yeah. So, um, certainly she had, um, challenges with her family, with her own family, because her father was very, um, much more traditional and just expected that his, his daughter would, you know, maybe take a sales job or something at a nice department store. But really, it would just be kind of like as a hobby, um, and a means to like meet a nice man. Yeah. And so he's sort of horrified and concerned about his own reputation when she's dancing and flaunting herself, which, you know, as we said earlier, it was risqué, but it wasn't that risqué. But But for the time, it was risqué. But she was also very talented as a singer and a dancer. So she wanted to, you know, perform and have this outlet of creativity. But her father was really pushing back against that. And ultimately, she had to decide, okay, am I going to continue, you know, this nice relationship with my family, or am I going to break ties and go on and do what I want to do? And so that's one of the sacrifices that she had to make. And then later on, like I said, she, she has to make a decision what she's going to do about Archie, the love interest. Yeah. You know, if she's going to stick with him and, and live a nice life, very luxurious probably, and, you know, a nice life, but it's not her passion. And she feels compelled and, you know, completely driven to follow her dreams and And pursue her passion.

So, and was— did that— was that an easy transition for her? Was she strong enough that she was able to have a good, uh, communication with Archie, or was it sort of— without sort of doing too much spoiler alerts, uh, what was, what was the theme with that? Was that a tough conversation? Was it she just made, made her choice and just moved? What was the some of the— what I'm asking there, I suppose, is what's the parallel with what women are facing now when it comes to having those tough conversations and standing by the choices that they make?

Well, without giving too much away, because hopefully people will go out and read the book, but this is one of the moments where her flaws kind of show up, and maybe she doesn't handle it the right way, and maybe if she had you know, communicated her needs more and sort of been a little bit more level-headed about it, maybe she could have— they could have come to some understanding. But she makes it a little difficult for herself.

And I think that, yeah, beautifully said. And don't we all know how fabulously wonderful hindsight is when you can actually look back at the conversation you may have had with others? So I hear away with this book, you have the opportunity to, yes, be taken on a, you know, an adventure and a ride through somebody else's life of, life of living their purpose, but you also have the opportunity to reflect it back on your own, on your own life and the way that you've lived or made choices and those sorts of things as well.

Yes, and also I think there's a moment of a sort of like, what's it called, flight or fight, fight or flight moment for her. It's sort of Sometimes when you're in the moment, it's just easier just to run. Yeah, you know, it's like nothing will change, I'll just leave.

Yeah, yeah. And yeah, definitely all done that. Um, I know I've done that myself and gone, I'm just doing that, and you just charge off and then you think, you know, but, uh, you know, everything usually works out for the right reasons when, when again you can look back retrospectively to see, you know, all the, the points and the dots in the life joining and moving forward. Yeah. So tell us a little bit more about, I suppose, the themes that you're writing on. And this can be between your 2 books as it relates to women sort of really discovering who they are and the ability to follow their dreams and move forward because, because of, because of what they've discovered about

Yeah. So, I mean, that just seems to be the theme that keeps coming up for me that I really love to write about and explore in different ways, obviously. But, I mean, I just, I feel that, in Montauk, the character Beatrice is, she feels very trapped in the life that she's in. She's in a difficult marriage. She's realizing that it's not with a man who is in love with her and he's She's probably not in love with him. And she sort of yearns for this other life that she's getting a little taste of, which is a more subtle, more modest lifestyle. And, and so that's that book. And then we talked about The Showgirl. But I think that I keep writing about this because— sorry, I lost my train of thought for a second. No, no, no. What was I saying? What was the question?

The question was the parallels between them following their dreams and the self-discovery. I suppose it's, for me, it was, I was listening to the self-discovery that enables them or is the catalyst to help them follow their dreams.

Yeah, I mean, I just feel like as women, I mean, I guess as men or anyone, human beings, I feel like if you have this this urge to— I think I'm talking about the showgirl here specifically— is if you have this urge to create or to follow, to pursue a passion that you have, I think that if you don't allow yourself to find a way to do that, I think you end up resenting the people or the things that are holding you back from that. Mm-hmm. And, and for me, it's writing. I mean, I just, I feel alive when I'm writing. I feel like I'm— it's my, like, what I was supposed to be doing. And, and I think that probably artists feel that way, you know, dancers feel that way. You know, if you, if you love sports, you love soccer, and you for whatever reason can't do it, I think you just sort of feel this repression. And, and I think what I, what I try to explore in these books is that, um, if you're able to carve out— if it's a, you know, if it might just be a hobby and you're able to, like, carve some time out for yourself to be able to pursue that and have this outlet, a creative outlet, or an outlet for your passion, or if it's your career and you're able to, like, build that career as part of your life, um, I think it just makes you happier. Yeah. And then ultimately, your relationships with the people in your life are going to probably be more fulfilling and And better relationships if you're able to like feed that need that you have. Yeah.

I think you've highlighted something there. It's carving out some time to allow that creativity, that spontaneity, that thing to bubble up enough for you to actually start to experience it. So you can actually have a choice, you know, well, this feels good, or I like this. do I want to do more of it? So you can actually carve out more time. But like any great adventure in life, it starts with that single step, doesn't it? Yeah. And it does require that carving out of some time to be able to do that. I'm often in groups talking to different women, and one of the common questions that we get asked, especially when it's women that are at the very, very beginning stages of this transition, or, you know, what's next, or it often starts with who am I

and

what's next. And often the question that comes up in some of those conversations is, well, how do I find my purpose?

Right. Yeah. And I think it's what you're saying, it's dabbling. Do a little bit of dabbling at first, you know. And for me it was, I mean, I took, I took writing classes growing up and everything, but as I was doing my, when I was doing my journalism career, I I would sort of take these night classes, and it's like, oh, I'm gonna just try a little fiction, you know, just try it. And it's almost like I'm not committing to anything. I'm just dabbling with it to start. And then you start to be around people, other people who have those types of interests, and that feels good to be around other people who are sharing the same interests. Yeah. And now, and for actually the past, like, 8 years, I think, I'm in a creative— I'm in a writing workshop on Thursday nights. Now it's on Zoom. Well, for me it's on Zoom. They've got back together in person in New York, but now I'm living in California. So for me it's on Zoom. But we would— we meet every Thursday evening and we share pages with each other and we just sort of, you know, and it's— we just share it and it sort of gives us a deadline because we know every Thursday night we're gonna have to bring something and share it and Um, it just sort of keeps pushing you forward. Um, and so that was really what got me to finish writing my first book. Um, it's like a little bit of camaraderie, um, and, and a little bit of a deadline that's like a self-imposed deadline. Yeah. And then of course now I— that I have a publisher and I have a, you know, I had a second book deal and then a third one. So now it's like I have the deadline from the, from the editor. But even then there's this, this still this real self-determination and self-motivation that you have to have.

Yeah.

Because no one's really breathing down my neck. I mean, yes, I have an editor, but I don't go and, you know, I don't go and sit in her office for 8 hours a day. It's not— and yes, she expects me to produce good work and to turn it in on time, but if for some reason I didn't, she'd find somebody else that does. There's plenty of people who want to write books and be published out there, you know. So it's like you really have to Um, once you get to the point where you're like, this is what I love to do, you then you really have to like stick with it. And, and I, you know, it's my full-time job now.

Yeah, yeah. And I think as we were talking there and you were talking about that dabbling, if I look at my own life, I've done— dabbled in all sorts of different ways, but ultimately they've all led to the creativity stuff that I do now and the, you know, the work that I do with speakers and coaches. It's all— I can, you know, join the dots and it retrospectively gets to that. But, and like yourself, I've fallen into— I started doing the content repurposing for books because I was helping some of my speaker buddies out, and I was just doing that, and then I kept getting asked for it. So it was one of those things that I fell into because people kept asking, asking for it. So that whole thing of how do you find your purpose comes in from the You know, it's almost like trying on a, you know, being in a shop trying on a couple of different pairs of shoes.

Yeah.

Just trying it on, you know, that one doesn't feel quite comfortable. So there's that element, but you've also highlighted the other element that I see with lots of other successful women, and I'd love to see how this has sort of panned out with your writing that you've done and the, I suppose, the research that you've done in history is, have these women had the right networks? Because we hear in business today, to be successful, you've got to have the right people around you, which is clearly something that you're doing with your community that you're in with writers. Did they have those opportunities historically? And is that something that they had? And obviously, I see it to be very important in this time. So what's your experience from the writing perspective? Yeah. Yeah,

definitely. So in the showgirl, there's definitely a sense of camaraderie with the girls, the performers, and they really like lift each other up and help each other out. And when she first comes to the stage and she's a total newbie, there's a, you know, a woman who's been around longer and she knows the ropes, and they go out the stage door on the opening night and there's all these they're called stage door Johnnies, these guys who are like standing at the door and they're like, hey, can I take you out to dinner? Here, let me give you some flowers. Let me give you a necklace. And she's like, oh, just keep, keep going, keep going. You know, there's plenty of time for all of that. And, but she can't help herself. She's like, we're going to Delmonico's, you can meet me there. But, but, but yes, there's, there's, you know, she has like a slightly older, wiser friend to sort of guide her along. And then there's the group of friends, women who are all doing it together. And then also in this book, there is a character who comes up who I loved writing. He's like— he's an older Italian opera singer who's very, very famous. And she happens to be up in upstate New York, up in the Adirondacks, on this retreat where they take the show on the road. And she hears someone singing at 6 o'clock in the morning. And she's like, oh my gosh, who's, you know, just disturbing my beauty sleep? And it's coming from a lake. And she rows out, jumps in a rowboat and rows out onto the lake. And here she finds this guy who's extremely famous singing his lungs out because he said that the air up there is good for the lungs and everything. And sort of an unusual, unexpected friendship develops between the two of them. And he sort of becomes this mentor. to her, which I just really enjoyed writing. And it's funny because I wasn't expecting him to come into this book, or I thought it might just have— he might just sort of have a walk-on role and, and just be like a funny scene. But I liked writing him so much that he stuck around and had a more prominent role.

And now for the audience that are actually listening to that, now you'd know why it's been described as— I'm going to say cinematic.

Cinematic, yeah.

Right. Because you really do feel that you're in it. And I love that not only have we got the networking element in there, which we know is very important, but it's also very important to have the right sort of mentors around at the time that can really help show— not so much just show you and guide you along the way like the lady did that took her under her wing, but this mentor that sort of almost helps shift things along in a different gear with a very different perspective, obviously, with him a man. So yeah.

Yeah.

And how do you find with those themes, what do you see is relevant now? What do you notice that's going along in the era that we're in now as it relates to these networks and these mentors from your perspective of how you're seeing business and how you see that happening from a community perspective?

Yeah, definitely. So, so one of the most amazing things about becoming an author, and totally unexpected, was just how wonderful the book community has been. Um, you know, in person but also on social media. And it's, and it's a lot of— I mean, for my community, it tends to be a lot of female authors who I've connected with, and everyone just kind of, um, lifts each other up, and there doesn't seem to be much of a sense of competition because no book is going to be the same. I mean, like, what we could— you and I could write a book on the same subject and it would be 2 totally different books, you know, because that's just the way it is with creative writing. But, um, so there doesn't seem to be any sense of competition, but it's more like when, when someone's book is their publication day, everyone gets on Instagram and posts picture and, and, you know, takes and posts a picture to say, you know, happy, happy pub day, can't wait to read this one, or I read an early version of this, this is such a great book. And, and, you know, that just, that does wonders for you because then it's— they've reached out to their entire community, the social media community, and, and it gets the word out about your book. And, um, you know, it's, it's been harder these days to get the word out about novels because with COVID and things, people haven't been— now they are more so now, but for a couple of years, people weren't just wandering the aisles in their favorite bookstores and just picking up a book and saying, that looks good. Yeah. So you really had to, like, work harder to get the book babies that you've been working on for so long out into the world and in front of people's eyes. So, um, so yeah, I think that that book community for me has just been really, really wonderful, and it makes you just realize, like, women like helping each other out and raising, raising each other up. And, um, it's just, just such a wonderful thing, and it makes you want to do more of it for other people.

Yeah, I couldn't agree with you more there. I, on a number of things, A, the book community is— everyone's aspiring, but everyone's inspiring, uh, and supportive of everybody else is certainly something I, I have found. Very little, um, competition. And there's obviously a lot more more competition in the speaking realm. That was from my experience, but it is different in that author's realm there as well, for sure. What I've also found just listening to that too is the difference between a network, a mentor, and a community. And I heard that there's collaboration across all of them, But there's that collaboration that actually rounds you off into being a better human.

Yeah.

In that you're not just a better book writer and you're not just helping other book writers, but it actually ripples into the rest of your life. Yeah.

Oh yes. And I don't even think, you know, I'm just sharing my experience about the book community, but I think, you know, that could be relevant to people not even in— In

creative.

Yeah, like, like let's say you work in fashion. I don't even think it has to be like in the fashion world. It could just be like a group of women who are somehow in a community. If you— one of the women happens to be a jewelry designer. If you, you know, post about or talk about or share about the jewelry that she made, and then somebody else is a— I don't know, a journalist, and then you post about an amazing article that they wrote, it just is so nice. And it's such a small thing that you can do to help other people. You know, get their voices out there or get their creative creativity out there. And it doesn't really take much, but it means a lot.

Yeah, yeah. I love, love what you've just said there. I've got another girlfriend, Nancy Matthews. She's written a book called Be the One, and what you've just expressed there is her version of be that one person that does that one little tiny thing for that other person that just magnifies and just makes it so much better for everybody. It's just those— it is literally just those little things that we can do that'll be so much more meaningful and so meaningful for that person.

Yeah.

Which is good. And I also just really, really felt and witnessed for myself the difference from trolling the aisles in the bookstore, because that was something that I used to do. You know, you go up in the book aisles and you literally— for me, it was waiting for one to jump off the shelf at me or one had fall off.

Yes.

And that was how I chose and found my books. So not having the ability to, to do that has been very, very different for me. And it has been through community and doing things online and seeing other people, as you said, say, hey, I've read an earlier version of this, this was good, here was my takeaway, that has actually prompted me to go and grab the book. So I think it's Such a relevant, you know, gold nugget that you've actually shared there is, you know, what's the difference for authors and people writing books, you know, that are wanting to share something, lessons with the world. It's a different way of letting them know, and those collaborative communities and key conversations are really relevant right now.

Yeah, yeah, and I think that sort of more of that seemed to come up With COVID people sort of sensed that there was more of a need to help people get the word out. And so hopefully that will continue. And I mean, I think that's one of those silver linings where you're like, okay, well, that's something good that came out of it.

Yeah, yeah. And I think that is very much that silver lining. But we've now— if I look at my perspective and some of the communities we've got into, we call it rushing women syndrome. We've got into that rushing, we're doing, we're driven women. Yes, we've got our networks. Yes, we've got our mentors, but we're all still running at a pace. It did give us the opportunity to sort of back down a little bit, in some cases very suddenly, to just slow down, especially from the speaking community. But it did actually allow people to stop and be reflective and refine their purpose and, you know, what voice they want to bring to the world or message that they want to bring to the world. But it actually enabled us to actually reconnect.

Yes, yes, definitely. Yeah.

Which has been good. And this is why I really wanted to share your story and talk with you about the book, because a lot of this connection is so now very relevant to the themes that are women have experienced in the eras that you write about, but also are experiencing very, very much now as well.

Yeah.

So, I want to ask, and this was relating a little bit to the network and those people that you've got around you, do you still see lots of variations of these challenges as it relates to career versus love? And what are the common ways you're seeing some of these people actually move forward through that?

Currently now or in the book?

Yeah, a bit of both. So we've talked about it from the book, so if there's any more highlights there as it relates to the books, obviously the one you're working on, and as it relates to women in your community, because I think there's so many commonalities for past as well as current and future for women?

Yeah, I mean, I think it's just like the takeaway is kind of just, I mean, it sounds cliché, but when I sign copies of The Showgirl, I sign it and I say, follow your dreams. And it might sound cliché, but I just feel very passionately about it. And I feel that, you know, just if you have something that you're passionate about, you know, try to incorporate it incorporate that in your life. And yeah, I don't know if that's what the question is asking.

No, that's perfect. I think that ties in beautifully because it is, as we've discussed, it's if you don't know what your purpose is, if you're still on that search to find out what your new purpose is or your transition to that purpose or you're wanting to grow into something more, but you're not quite sure what that is yet, if you're stuck sort of in that spot, it is a case of trying on those, you know, those shoes and dabbling.

Trying on those shoes, yes.

Finding some opportunities.

Yeah, and I think also, you know, not settling for sort of the mundane and not settling for something that doesn't make you, you know, very happy, if happy is the right word. But I think, you know, and not settling for someone who doesn't appreciate you and doesn't support you in, in your creative pursuits or in your pursuits of the career that you, you know, want to go after or want to thrive in. And I just, I think that in my own personal life, you know, having gone through a divorce and, and then having, you know, remarried and found someone who's very supportive and really like gets me, and I think when I'm not, when I'm not writing, it sort of makes his life miserable because I'm like so filled with angst. So it's better for him if he's supportive.

Yeah, yeah, and that you're writing, yes.

Yeah, so I think just, you know, not settling and really going after, you know, the love that makes you happy, and the career, and the

Yeah, well, well, well said. And where is the best place, or the places, that people can actually get hold of The Showgirl? And we'll pop the link back up, obviously through your website, and that's available on Amazon, etc. So

yep, it's on Amazon, it's in Barnes& Noble, and almost all your local independent bookstores. stores, which is so great to, by the way, to support your local independent bookstores if you can. They've had a tough time of it through COVID too. So, um, so, but it's also available online. And, um, if— and my website is nicolaharrison.com, so that just kind of gives updates on new books coming out. I have another book coming out next summer, um, so there'll be info about that on the website. And also, um, if anyone would like to just follow along on my publishing journey and life as a writer, I'm on Instagram as Nicola Harrison Author.

Yep, beautiful. Thank you very, very much. So as part of a bit of a recap, yes, you can have it all. It is about making the choices and finding what actually lights you up, because we don't want you leaving this earth with the light still inside you. The light is there to shine out in the world. If you're dabbling— sorry, if you're still trying to work out what what your thing is, then dabble away. Have great conversations with great people. Find the right network that'll help you find the right mentor, and then find the community that's going to actually support you. Be, be all that you can be so you can be bold, be brilliant, and become everything that you were meant to. Thank you very, very much for joining us today, Nicola. It's been an absolute pleasure sharing so much with you.

Oh, thank you. Thank you. This has been so nice. I've done a lot of book talks where I've, you know, talked about the book and everything, but this was a whole different conversation, so it was really great. I enjoyed it so much.

Thank you so much. Yeah, we like to get into the, you know, a real conversation as though we're having a cup of coffee together, even though we're at different, different sides of the world. Yeah, it's great to be able to do that, and I think it gives people the insight and also the inspiration to go and to, you know, discover a book that they may not have heard about or known about, and to be able to use that book to be inspired, but also, and entertained, but also to use that book as aspirations as to what they're going to do next in their life and use it as a reflective tool. So it's been brilliant to be able to shine the light on that element yourself as well, and I look forward to finding out about the new book coming out in your summer. So thank you very, very much for joining us.

Thank you.

It's been a pleasure. And as I said to everyone, make sure you get hold of a copy of The Showgirl. You can find that at nicolaharrison.com, The Showgirl. So we look forward to finding out how you go with that and look forward to having you on another episode of Success Secrets Exposed. Till then, take care. Thank you very much.

That's it for this week's episode. Thank you so much for joining us. And I trust that you got some inspirational tips to move you forward. You can find this episode along with many more on your favorite streaming platform such as iHeartRadio, Spotify, iTunes, and more. See you next Thursday at 7 PM Eastern time for more Success Secrets Exposed with Sally A. Curtis.