Behind the Hustle E.03// The 54 Billion Dollar Wedding Industry

Hey everybody, this is Nick DeSantis from The Hustle. Thanks for tuning in to another episode of Behind the Hustle, the show where we bring you inside some of the stories that we are working on and introduce you to some of the interesting people in our world. So for today's episode, I wrote a story last— for a newsletter last week about the $54 billion wedding industry that has really, really fallen on hard times right now, obviously. And that's true of pretty much anybody that's associated with the events world knows what this is about. You have couples across the country that are canceling their wedding plans or in some cases postponing them. And it's really sort of thrown the entire industry into a little bit of chaos. But in some cases, there are a few couples who, who decided to go through with their weddings anyway. Using technology like Zoom or Facebook Live or some of the other platforms that are out there. And what was especially interesting about this story is that after we published it last week, one of our readers reached out to us and said, "Yeah, actually me and my wife, we actually did this a couple days ago and we'd love to talk to you about it." And I thought their story was really interesting and wanted to share it with all of you. So I'm here to welcome in Dan and Jen Wilson. Who live in Orlando, Florida, and will be celebrating 2 weeks as newlyweds on this coming Saturday. Welcome to you both.

Thank you. Thanks for having us.

Yeah, I really appreciate it. So I think the first thing that I want to ask you is something that everybody wants to know, and we talked about a little bit the other day, is how did the 2 of you meet?

Go ahead.

Yeah, so we met— so how fitting for a virtual wedding is we actually met online. So dating site Tinder, which I'm sure everyone's familiar with. So Tinder actually works.

So yeah, I was actually moving to Jacksonville, and so that was— I wanted to meet new people, and I met Dan my first week there. So worked out well.

Anything in particular stand out about that first Tinder date? I know that some people have memorable first dates.

It's probably the most normal date I've been on. Yeah.

Yeah. We, we, I think both did a pretty good job of, uh, you know, setting our profiles in such a way to, I guess, attract people that were maybe like-minded. And, you know, we did, I think, a fair bit of, uh, text screening beforehand to see if, you know, someone can actually complete a thought or, uh, have similar interests and things like that before we met face to face.

So It's a pretty normal dinner.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

Great dinner.

Tell us a little bit about the proposal and sort of then what went into the planning.

Yeah. So, uh, yeah, it's something, yeah, it's kind of been on my mind. Uh, you know, so we, this April, this month is 6 years we've been together. And, uh, over the last couple of years, I know it's, you know, something I've been wanting to move forward with and, you know, ask Jen to marry me. There was really no question in my mind that that's, the route I wanted to go, but it was, uh, you know, trying to think through the different, uh, options of how to propose and, you know, something that's maybe more practical versus, you know, something romantic and things like that. So, um, you know, just didn't quite have a good feeling, uh, of how to do it until really last summer. So we were on vacation out in Colorado and, um, you know, I thought, yeah, this I think could be, you know, a good time and Basically went and got a ring, a Kalo ring, that's the silicone rings that way. So went to a running store in the morning before we went for a hike and bought a couple rings just hoping to determine which size and style she might like. I was like, I'll grab a couple, see what happens. And she was looking in the other part of the store, so we went to the cashier and said, I need to buy these really, really quick, you know, because that would kind of ruin everything. Um, so got them, shoved them in my pocket and we kind of walked around and then, um, went on our hike and, you know, just had them in my pocket and, you know, just as we got towards kind of higher elevations, uh, the people on the trail started to thin out and I said, well, I better do this pretty soon while I can, uh, convince some kids, actually it was a couple college kids, so gave them my camera to take video and then Jen gave them her camera like, "Oh, well you get her picture." So I wanted to get video and then she got pictures on hers and—

Yeah, I was completely surprised. I was like, "Why do you want video? What do you want a video for? We'll just take pictures." And then he proposed. It was very sweet.

Very cool, very cool. So you told me a little bit about sort of what you had planned for the wedding. Obviously, I don't think anybody goes into planning their wedding thinking that Facebook Live or Zoom is really gonna play a role in the celebration, but you guys found yourself in that situation pretty quickly. So tell us a little bit about sort of what you were planning and then how quickly you had to turn once you realized that that was not really gonna be an option.

Right, so we, we had planned a smaller wedding, about 50 people. Since we met in Jacksonville, we decided that's where we wanted to have it. It was going to be simple, married in a park, and then have the reception at one of our favorite breweries in the kind of backroom area there. And we started to get kind of text messages and calls from some friends who were planning on coming to the wedding and said, you know, gee, I don't, I don't think I'm gonna be able to come with everything. It was just starting to happen. So for, I would say, quite a while, we thought we would still get married same day, maybe, you know, smaller amount of people would be there, but it became very clear quickly that we wouldn't be able to do that. So we very much planned and then kind of unplanned and pivoted the entire wedding. Just let people know that we weren't going to be able to have it. One, we didn't feel comfortable having it, and two, we couldn't have if we wanted to because the brewery and all of the restaurants and all of that obviously were closed or just doing very takeout type of things. So that's when we decided to kind of pivot, and for us, our decision was the two of us were the most important things. And so we still wanted to get married and we figured we could use technology in order to do that.

Yeah, and I would say one of the things that was cool is your, your whole ceremony is posted to Facebook and you can go and watch it. And I did that and it was beautiful and it looked great. And one of the things that was actually really cool about it is you could see in the comments threads underneath the video, there was sort of anticipation starting to build as people were taking selfies with drinks and cheering you on. Tell us a little bit about sort of what that was like to see that anticipation build up.

Yeah, go ahead.

Yeah, it was cool. I mean, you know, I think it was something we created the event, you know, so kind of pivoting a little bit from something where, you know, we wanted a smaller in-person wedding, you know, just because of costs and venue restrictions as far as size and things like that. But since, you know, we made the decision to go virtual, it was like, well, let's let's open it up to more people and invite people to watch. And so that was kind of neat to include more people that, you know, again, it's not that they were better friends or not or whatever, but just, you know, maybe people that would have had challenges, you know, traveling further or, you know, with family obligations or work obligations, things like that. So I felt like we were able to actually share it with a—

Yeah, a lot more people.

A broader group than maybe we would have in person with a little bit smaller group that way.

Yeah, yeah. So I mean, it was awesome to see the virtual part of it in everyone, and we also did have— there were a couple people in the neighborhood who were friends with who figured out where we were doing it at who showed up, obviously from a very far distance, but were still able to watch. So that also made it pretty cool.

And so tell us a little bit about sort of the— there's an interesting moment where you're actually like, you're going live on Facebook. Tell us a little bit about the technology setup and how you actually fortunately, we're able to navigate that in the moment where your heart's probably beating out of your chest to begin with, and then you're in a situation where you have to make sure that the technology works.

Yeah, we did FaceTime with our friend who was marrying us, and he was in Jacksonville, so we had one screen that was used for FaceTime, and then we had the computer and we used that for Facebook to livestream We actually had done a trial run a couple days before, I think, and we also had to figure out where we could get Wi-Fi in the neighborhood and have a backdrop that looked, you know, somewhat nice for a ceremony. So all the logistics of figuring that out and time of day, because it's Florida and it's already pretty hot, so we had to adjust that a little bit too.

So we had a little fun.

It was in the morning, if I'm not mistaken. Is that right?

Yeah, it was 11 AM.

So that was intentional because with the jacket on and clothing and didn't want to— I was already sweating like crazy anyway. But we had a little pre-production check on technology just to kind of see, well, it should work. It looks like we've got pretty good Wi-Fi. Let's cross our fingers and hope it stands up.

Yeah, it seemed to work.

So the technology went really smoothly. Were there other sort of logistical bumps in the road that you hit? There's all sort of essentials around a cake and flowers and a dress. Did you have any trouble with those essentials?

Um, well, the night before we went to the grocery store and got our wedding cake.

Sure.

And flowers so we could have a bouquet. I would say probably 15 minutes before the wedding, the gardener went by with the blower, so that was a little nerve-wracking. That's not going to work. And then for us, an important part of our wedding was our dog as well. So we brought her and thought that she would kind of settle down, but she—

She went crazy.

She kind of went crazy.

She was just like doing laps in the area there and wanted to be right next to us. And the only other hiccup— I don't know, we didn't talk earlier— on your dress.

Yeah, the dress. Well, the dress had gotten lost about a month before the wedding. So there were, yeah, there were some things we had to do. It ended up, I got the dress, which was amazing, and it was beautiful. But yeah, it was a scary month of, don't know what I'm gonna wear.

Hopefully not something that had to come together at the 11th hour like the cake.

Right.

Alright. So tell us a little bit about sort of the reaction that you had from friends and family. I'm sure there were people who were bummed, obviously, that they couldn't be there in person, but as I said earlier, the ease of connectivity makes it potentially more easy for people to participate if maybe there were, you know, they had to come in from farther away. So I'm curious sort of what you heard from friends and family about how it went.

Yeah, I actually think it was awesome. We had so many comments on our Facebook page and from, as Dan mentioned, from people, acquaintances, co-workers that I actually feel like it made the day extra special to have so many comments and people post and like you saw the photos and people celebrating and even FaceTime with folks afterwards who wanted to talk with us and share in the experience. I thought it was awesome.

Yeah, I agree. I think it was just a great experience to kind of a broader group of, you know, friends and family and coworkers and ex-co-workers and things like that. So kind of our circle that we could share the day with. And from the ceremony standpoint, and I think we still, you know, we envision having an in-person celebration party, if you will, hopefully this fall at some point, you know, when schedules, you know, kind of align. But, you know, for the day, I thought it was great to be able to share it that way.

That's great. So you went through the ceremony, obviously went through and went off without a hitch. But one thing that we talked about the other day is the shutdowns did disrupt your honeymoon plans.

That too. Yes. Yeah.

We had a trip to Germany planned. So we both are in triathlon and I was fortunate enough to get into a race in Roth, Germany. Challenge Roth, and that was been July 5th. And so we were going to do the race on the front end and then stay extra in, in Embrun-Honigmann in Germany. So, uh, that got canceled recently, which I figured it was going to probably a month or so ago, uh, just because of the state of the world, there's no way they'll have it. So, uh, so the Honey Pudding is on, uh, been deferred for a little bit. We've got to figure out when—

Plan B.

Plan B. Yeah. When and where. So, uh, Still, I'm gonna do the race next year, but, you know, maybe we do something in between.

Yeah, we'll probably do a honeymoon whenever we can travel, at least somewhere. Yeah.

Well, I hope that the race does go well when you're able to get back to it next year. So one of the things I'm also curious to hear your perspective on a little bit is we're edging into prime wedding season in the US, and there are a lot of couples who are having to make similar choices to the ones that you did. So I'd be curious for other couples who might be in your shoes thinking about, do we do this virtually, do we postpone? What are some of the factors that you would recommend other people weigh, and what advice would you have for other folks who are in your shoes?

You know, I think, you know, as we sit here in early to mid-April, you know, weddings that may be planned for May and then probably into June, I think are pretty high likelihood that they're probably not going to go off as planned, especially anything of size. I think our personal opinion is the virus kind of plateaus and settles down a little bit. I don't know that it'll be an overnight rush back to sporting events of thousands of people or congregations of 50, 100, 200, 300 people for a wedding. Right. So, I think over the next couple months, as restrictions lift, it might be more of a smaller venue, more intimate. So if that is what the couple is looking to do, perhaps you can still accommodate something like that. But I think anything larger than that near term is gonna have to either be deferred till later in the year or look at other options like virtual or downsizing for now and down the road having a larger event that you may be a little different, but you know.

Yeah, I think it'll come down to personal preference and what's important to the couple. Is it having everybody there in person? And if it is, it may be deferring it. But I will say that doing it virtually, I know we were both disappointed we couldn't have friends and family there. Together, but in the end it was such a special day for us. All the comments, all the videos, you know, people just driving by and honking and, you know, saying, "Hey, congrats!" It just made the day special. It was just in a different way. So I think it's just preference on how you want to do it and how you plan for it. I know the logistics on all, you know, big weddings is a lot more, so that's the other thing is just talking with vendors and figuring out you know, what they can do and can they do it later and how that all plays out. So it's a big consideration when you have a wedding, especially if it's a big one.

Definitely. So you'll be celebrating 2 weeks on Saturday, but it's been, you know, I would imagine 2 weeks in quarantine, in self-isolation. So how have the past 2 weeks been for the 2 of you?

Great. I mean, you know, I think it's, uh, yeah, more status quo to some degree. I mean, we, you know, been together now 6 years, and, uh, yes, I think it's, uh, it's nice to have kind of that special bond, you know. So, uh, but I think kind of the day-to-day, um, you know, is not terribly different other than, you know, we're kind of cooped up a little bit. And, uh, fortunately here, you know, here in Florida, uh, we, we are able to get out and go for a run and we have the weather that we can do that, or go for a bike ride or something like that. Certainly keeping your distance from people and things like that. So we can get away a little bit if we need to, but I think it's been great.

Yeah, I agree. It's been an awesome 2 weeks. We tried to make the day of extra special and feel that way, and I feel like it did it. And then we kind of got back into the normal groove of things.

Have you thought a little, uh, one thing that people always ask me is sort of, uh, what are the first couple things that you're gonna do when you're able to like be out in society again? Have you thought about that at all?

It's a good question.

Yeah, I know for me, um, like he had mentioned, we're triathletes, so, um, it's that time of year when there's a lot of races. It'd be nice to do a race, um, and traveling. I know for me, I would love to just go somewhere, get out a little bit more.

Yeah, I say, yeah, you know, see friends, you know, get together. So, you know, some of the local spots, you know, restaurants, uh, you know, various bars, you know, spots that we have, you know, kind of the regulars and friends and such that we see typically that, you know, we haven't been able to kind of catch up with and, you know, meet up with personally, which would be, you know, it'd be nice to kind of be able to do that again. So Totally.

Well, we'll all look forward to it. And I really appreciate you all coming on and telling us about your special day. We're just in such a sort of an unbelievable time right now. And I'm glad that given the tough choices that the two of you had to make and sort of it didn't work out, maybe wasn't your ideal, it was still something that you can look back on and it's sort of special in its own right.

Yeah, definitely.

Absolutely. Yeah, thanks for having us, Nick.

Congratulations to both of you, and thanks for coming on. Really appreciate it.

Yeah, thank you.

Thank you. Take care. Take care. Bye.

Bye.