Most fathers go through three stages: wanting kids, then feeling detached and uncertain after birth, then bonding deeply around 12 to 18 months when the child starts smiling and crawling. The doubt in the middle is normal.
There are 3 phases of fatherhood. Phase 1: I want kids. Yeah, I want kids. Phase 2, which is when you're pregnant and the baby's coming: I want kids, right? Yes, right? And then phase 3, which you think it's supposed to come when the baby's born, but it will not for most people. It comes like 12 to 18 months later: I can't live without kids. That's where you will get to. That's the third phase. It does come. Have faith. Totally normal to have the initial "I want this," then the questioning and the doubt, then the initial anticlimactic thing where the baby's an inanimate object and you're kind of useless as a dad. You're kind of just helping the mom. You don't feel too much. You're kind of concerned. You're like, wait, do I not have a soul? I'm supposed to feel about this kid. And then at sort of 12 to 18 months, once they start to like smile and laugh or crawl, like do things like that, then you're like, I can't imagine life without, without kids.
