In this International Women’s Day talk, Susan Lee, Head of People at Warby Parker, shares a candid narrative about how she has navigated identity, labels, and career. She opens with a rapid-fire list of personal identifiers—woman, Korean‑American, feminist, Democrat, snowboarder, romance novelist—explaining how early in life she resisted labels because they felt limiting. She recounts her immigrant parents’ efforts to assimilate (the attempted name change, speaking only Korean at home) and how that shaped her perception of belonging. A childhood anecdote about fighting to play in Little League illustrates her early challenge to gender norms. Lee describes her unconventional career trajectory: from a struggling biochemistry student to an administrative assistant, then a network engineer (including a Y2K deployment to Kazakhstan where she was warned about being a high‑risk target as a woman and American), and ultimately rising to HR leadership at Warby Parker. The 2016 U.S. election sparked a turning point, prompting her to confront the need for explicit political and social stances. Parallel to her corporate role, Lee reveals her passion for romance novels, initially as a reader, then as a writer of #ownvoices stories featuring Korean‑American protagonists, aiming to fill representation gaps. She shares a plot of a YA romance where a Korean‑American teen’s bullying transforms into superpowers, symbolizing empowerment. Concluding, Lee invites the audience to share their own identifiers, emphasizing that embracing labels can foster connection and purpose.
Chapters
Happy International Women's Day! I noticed she got applause for that, so I'm totally— that was applause bait right there, so thank you! Hi, my name is Susan Lee, and I am the Head of People at Warby Parker. I am a woman. There's my squad right over there. So I'm a woman. I'm over 40. I am a person of color. I am Korean American. I am a feminist. I'm a Democrat. I am a Southern Californian. I am an unapologetic year-round rosé drinker. I am a snowboarder. And— I'm waiting for the applause— I'm a romance novelist. Growing up, labels were something that were not a good sign for me. It basically meant limitations to the opportunities I have for my life. So I always thought about, I don't want to be labeled. I don't want people to make assumptions about me. I don't want them to take away what I'm working hard for. When my parents immigrated from Korea, my dad came here and he registered, and his first thought was he was going to register as Charles Lee, L-E-I-G-H. 'cause he did not want the name to make it seem like he was any different than anyone else. Thankfully, they didn't allow him to do that, because I love my last name, even though there's like a million Susan Lees. If I go to Sephora, there is like, "Last name?" I'm like, "No, no, no, email." But when I started school, I was learning English, and talking to my teachers and my friends, and when I came home, my parents only spoke they only spoke Korean to me. And I knew they knew English, they had broken English and heavily accented, but it wasn't until a few years later that I realized they never spoke English to me. So I once asked my dad, I'm like, "Dad, I'd love to practice your English. Why don't you ever want to talk to me?" And he said, "I don't want you to learn English with an accent. I don't want anyone to pick up the phone and talk to you and assume that you're any different than any other person." I grew up believing that I was American. I very rarely identified as Korean American. When I was in 3rd grade, I wanted to play a sport. So we went into line, and it was— I went into line for Little League baseball. And when I got to the front of the line, they said, "Actually, girls' softball is in that field over there." And I pitched a fit. I said, "I don't want to play with the big ball. I want to play with the little ball with the boys." And I started screaming. And my dad said to them, "This doesn't say boys' Little League. It just says Little League." you call that girl softball. So they allowed me to play. I was the only girl in Little League. I wish I could say I hit all the home runs and stuff, but that didn't happen. But still, it's fine. It's totally fine. We'll take the wins where we can get them. So when I was ready to graduate and I was about to go to college, they said, what do you want to study? What do you want to be? And I'm like, well, what are my options? And they're like, well, if you want to be successful, you have to be a doctor, a lawyer, an engineer, or a businesswoman. And I was like, that's all my options? OK, I'll be a doctor. So for 5 years, I studied biochem, almost flunking out probably every year, knowing there was no way that I was going to go to med school. And it was really because I didn't feel like I had options. I didn't know about HR. I didn't know about marketing. I didn't know about supply chain or PR or any other opportunity out there for me. When I graduated, I took a job as an administrative assistant. When they gave me the phone list, it wasn't alphabetical, it was listed by your hierarchy, and I was all the way at the bottom. And I'm like, "I don't wanna be at the bottom of this list." So anytime an opportunity came up, I'd say, "I'll do it. I'll change the light bulbs, I'll fix the printer, I'll fix the network that works the printer." And when they noticed that I was willing to do anything, they sent me to school and I became a network engineer. Network engineer, I know. Now I'm in HR. Story for another time. The next 2x. But eventually in 1999, and I'm thinking most of you weren't even born then, but in 1999 there was a time in the world where Microsoft ruled this world. And came this phenomenon called Y2K where Microsoft thought that because their calendaring and their system wasn't able to flip to the year 2000, they're worried that all the systems were gonna like, break. So my company sent a bunch of us to third world countries to look at their network infrastructure. So I was sent to Kazakhstan. This was before Borat. I made— I put Kazakhstan on the map, not Borat. No, I'm kidding. So I went to Kazakhstan, and they told me when I was there, "You have to be very aware of two things: you're a woman, and you're an American." And this was before 9/11, so it wasn't that they had bad feelings towards America. It was actually as a woman and American, I was at highest risk to be kidnapped. To become a bride, a blushing bride, and then bringing my husband back to America. So all of my life, I shunned labels. I was just like, "Eff that. I don't believe in any of this. I'm gonna break these labels. They don't belong to me. I don't identify this way." The one label or mantra that I live by is, "Put your head down, work hard, don't cause any trouble, someone will notice, and you'll climb your way up." basically how my parents raised me. Don't cause any trouble, put your head down, work hard, someone's gonna notice. And it's exactly how I got to where I am today. Then November 2016 happened, and I won't make this political, but I already told you what I vote, but Donald Trump was elected president, and it was a new administration in the White House. And suddenly, all of these things that I took for granted, what I look like, my gender, my age, my pay rate were in jeopardy. I could be a target for any number of discrimination or the way that people saw me. And I realized that because I never labeled myself, I didn't know what I was gonna stand for, what I was willing to fight for, what I was gonna march for. I just never thought about that stuff. I shun labels. So only feminists march in the Women's March, or, you know, it's like, only LGBTQ people go to Pride, and I just didn't think that any of that was for me. And what's crazy is, I told you I'm over 40, that this realization that I didn't know myself happened only 2 years ago. So I mentioned that I'm a romance novelist. I actually started as a romance reader. And at Warby Parker, we're big readers, and we talk about books all the time. And in my interview with our CEO, He said, "Hey, what are you reading?" And it's a classic interview question for us. If you're ever interviewing, remember that one, be prepared. And I thought, I need to say something really smart. So think of a leadership book, a nonfiction book, what is it, what is it? And my mind was blank. And I thought, you know what, I gotta come clean, because if he hires me and 2 weeks later he says, "Hey, how'd that book turn out?" I'd be like, "Oh, good." So I came clean. I told him, "I'm reading this book, it's called Sweet Dreams by Kristen Ashley, and basically it's about this guy who's a bartender and he's in a motorcycle club, and there's this woman who's down and out and she finds her way to this small town and they fall in love." I remember to this day the look of horror on his face. He was like— and anyone who knows him, he gets really uncomfortable very easily, and it was just discomfort and horror, and he gave this laugh and then he said, um, Oh, well, that was unexpected, but thank you for your honesty. But what's important that I always put out there, the reason why I read romance is I deal with real-life situations all day long. That's what I do. I deal with people all day. I get to see the best in people, and I also hear the worst about life and what people are going through. So when I come home, I want to get lost in that fantasy or fairy tale of the billionaire who falls in love with his personal trainer, or the over-40 girl, single, who lives in SoHo, finds a man one of her dreams. But— and they live happily ever after, the end. But what I came to realize as I've been reading romance and loving all of these stories, again, when I started to recognize who I am, I noticed I don't see myself in these stories. Very rarely do I see the Korean girl not as fit as she should be, like, who is a little bit older. I didn't see that. So I set out to change something and decided to start writing them myself. So I write what we call— oh, thanks. You haven't read it, so you don't know if they're any good. But I write what we call #ownvoices romance. And almost always it's a Korean American protagonist, someone successful, and someone who, you know, finds their happily ever after. And now I know that people get to see that. But if I'd never identified or labeled myself a Korean American, it wouldn't have mattered if these books were out there or not. So currently, I'm writing a young adult romance. It's about a Korean American teenager. She is bullied mercilessly for having small eyes, a flat nose, for her clothes smelling like fish, her parents having broken English. But when she turns 16, all of her bullying turns into superpowers. So her small eyes can see miles away, and her flat nose can smell evil. And at the end of the day— She saves the world, and she wins the captain of the football team. So predictable. So predictable. But— and I love that. I love that I get to tell these kinds of stories where people like me get to be the hero, the heroine. I can legitimately, in all honesty, say that this is the happiest I've ever been in my entire life. And the reason I think this is true is because I absolutely know who I am now. If you asked me 2 or 3 years ago, "Who are you?" I would have given you an answer that at least 50 other people in this room would have— could have also identified and said yes. I could say, "Oh, I'm a generally happy person. I'm like, you know, I try to be positive, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I mean, I like long walks on the beach." You know, it's like things that other people could say. But if you take the whole of all the labels that I put out and introduced myself as, I know that is distinctly me. That is exactly who I am. And, you know, if there is my long-lost twin out there who's all those same things, talk to me later, let's drink some wine. But I believe this is just me. And that makes me super, super excited because number one, I know what I'm willing to fight for. I know what I stand for. I know what I am going to draw a line in the sand about. I know what my ride or die is gonna be. And it's also just the guidepost on how I want to live and how I want to keep moving forward, the stories that I want to tell. So I am super excited at the end of this to meet you guys, and I'd love to hear some of your labels. I'd love to hear what identifies you, your identifiers, because ultimately I think that brings a lot of connection, and it makes you uniquely you. Thank you.
