Sami WunderCEO, Dating and Relationship Coach For Ambitious Women / 1200+ client success stories / Mum / Wife

If, A Guy Ghosted You or Disappeared DO THIS

13 Sept 2026 · 1 min

Watch on YouTube

1:24

In this short monologue, dating coach Sami Wunder addresses how to respond when a man you’ve been seeing suddenly pulls away, whether through outright ghosting or by repeatedly breaking promises. She first acknowledges the emotional sting of a disappearance after a month or two of dating, then distinguishes two patterns: (1) ghosting—no contact for a week after two months of seeing each other, and (2) promise‑breaking—saying he’ll call or text but never following through. For ghosting, she advises sending a single, low‑pressure text such as “Still alive?” to check in without appearing desperate. For promise‑breaking, if the connection has been honest and strong, a brief, open‑ended invitation to share any concerns (“If there’s anything on your heart, I’m open to listening”) is acceptable, but that should be the only outreach. Throughout, she emphasizes the importance of self‑awareness, pacing, and detachment—principles she teaches in her Elevate program—to avoid falling apart emotionally.

Chapters

If a guy disappears, let's say after month 1, month 2, ouch, that's going to hurt. And while most women who are self-aware and practicing pacing, like I teach in Elevate, or practicing detachment, you're not going to fall apart, hopefully. But let's just say it's going to feel bad. It's not going to feel good. I mean, you're definitely not going to throw a party if the guy you've been seeing for the last 8 weeks suddenly disappears on you. So what do we do then? What do we do then when a guy pulls away? I think here we also have to ask ourselves what kind of pulling away is happening. So pulling away can look different in different scenarios. So if the pulling away is ghosting, like he's literally— dude's fallen off the face of the earth, you haven't heard from him in 7 days after seeing him for like 2 months, sure, send one little text. Still alive? Definitely missing out on spending time with the beauty. You could do that. You could do that. At the same time, if the pulling away is looking like him making promises and not keeping them, saying I'll call you, but not calling you, saying I'll text you but not texting you, and just like a week ago this guy was all hot on you. I mean, should you say something? I think if you have a good connection and so far you've been honest with each other, you could possibly say something like, by the way, if there's anything on your heart, I'm open to listening. But that would be the only thing I would do.