12: Embrace the Breakdown with Sammy Taggett

But the things that make me this most satisfied right now, where I. I think what I notice when I'm satisfied too is like an overall body high. What when you talk to somebody or you have a situation happening and you get the flutters and you get super excited about something, I think that's how your emotional guidance system lets you know that you are in the right spot, doing the right thing.

Yeah.

And I think for me currently, I've been building out companies for podcast production and for performance.

Welcome to are you satisfied? A podcast that explores what a deeply satisfying and fulfilling life looks like and how to live it. I'm your host, Dr. Sarah Murphy, award winning naturopathic doctor. I'm a passionate advocate that every human have the opportunity to live a life that is maximally healthy, uniquely authentic, and personally satisfying. So are you truly satisfied? If you want more satisfaction out of life, then you're in the right place.

For this episode, we're turning the mic and camera around onto my podcast producer, Sammy T. Shoebox Moses. He's a big festival and party music DJ extraordinaire. Today he's sharing his life story. All the ups and downs and the pearls. He's learned about living satisfied. Welcome to the show, Sammy.

Thank you, Dr. Sarah.

So how many people have their podcast producers on as guests?

Not enough, I can tell you that much. I think in our little circle, though, there are a lot of people that. That have asked me to be on their show, but you're the very first one, and I am so happy to be on the show because I think your topic is the best. I love the topic of fulfillment and satisfaction because as. As a purveyor of music and dance and DJing, that's all I do is teach people how to be satisfied, how.

To have fun and party. So, yeah, you're also a dj. Tell me how you got started in that, because that's not the kind of field that your dad probably said, my son will be a dj.

I don't think anybody said that back in the day. Right. We were, we were. We grew up in a. In a time of electric guitars and rock bands. You know, that was my thing. I was always. I was always at shows at Red Rocks as a kid, and the DJ thing never even really occurred to me, so. But how I got started as a dj, did I ever tell you this story? I don't know if you've heard this.

I. I think I have, but I'm forgetting all the details and of course I want to record it.

O. Oh, perfect.

So let's talk about it.

You got it. Well, it came off the heels of one of the lowest points of my life when I really had nothing to my name. I had moved back from Texas after a super failed relationship. I couldn't get a job anywhere. I was staying in my friend's basement at his house. And through a series of really un. Just unbelievable things happened, I ended up burning his house down with a candle that was lit in the basement. And so on the heels.

Oh yes, I did hear this story.

It was awful.

A very, A very low point.

Very low point. And so I found myself scrambling to get a job anywhere. And the only job I could get was from my friend Patrick. And Patrick had this cool job at a nightclub called Alley Cats. And he said I could take his shift. And I didn't. Honestly, Sarah, I needed anything. I was like, I need something, right? So I got to this nightclub and I thought maybe I'd be a bar back or I would, you know, be, you know, fill in as a bartender or something fun. And I got there and they handed me this duffel bag. And I had no idea what was in the duffel bag. And I opened it up and there is really crappy cologne. There was gum, mints, a little bowl. And I'm like, what, what do I do with this? And what is this? They're like, you're the bathroom guy. You get to work in the bathroom. So I just remember, I still remember that very first night standing in this bathroom. I have no idea what to expect. And feeling about as bad as I could feel, but still hopeful that I have a job and knowing that I have to just, you know, find the satisfaction in this space. And so I just said it, I put it in my head. I was like, you know what? This is where you're at. Let's try to make the best of it. And I got my stuff set up and all of a sudden I could hear this really good music. And I looked outside and just outside the door I could see these DJs setting up. And that was like two feet from my station. I could step out the door and look and see these DJs playing music. And I knew, like, it just moved me, you know, when you see something for the first time and. And it just caught me. And I had listened to that music before, but I hadn't really seen what a DJ does. And so.

So wait a minute, you hadn't been in a DJ club setting before as a. To go out or anything?

I had seen a couple like smaller DJs in Fort Collins, where I went to school at CSU.

Okay.

I had never been to a Coachella. I hadn't been to any of these other things. And it was just really kind of catching on, you know, was. At least for me, it was 2015, and I was, you know, just kind of stepping into this whole time. And so when I saw this in a nightclub setting, like, the base was huge, and everything was just like. And I remember just going back to my station, handing out paper towels, looking in the mirror, and just thinking, I have to get to that spot. I have to get out of here.

Get out of the back, get out.

Of the bathroom, and I gotta get out of the toilet, get out of the. And get up on that main stage. How do I do this? So I noticed through a series of evenings that there's a very tried and true system and pattern that these DJs had. And they love to take shots and they love to meet cute girls. And it was at 11 o', clock, they would take a drink and I would take a. And I realized if I would buy these guys drinks, they would probably let me hang out. Because there were a few times I went up and I would try to be like, what's that button do? What's that button do? And they'd be like, dude, go away.

Get out of here.

But I noticed if I showed up with a drink or a girl or both, usually both was the best. They would. They would be, oh, cool, Sammy's here. And it started to condition them a little bit. And then finally six weeks went by. It's about a month and a half I had been in this cycle because I. I worked there a couple nights a week. And so after, like, the third week, and you know me, I'm just like your little brother. They're like, all right, come on in. Yes. Like, they just took to me and they. They let me hang out with them. And especially when I was bringing them Washington apples and the drink of choice at that time. And there was a night after I had learned what I was doing, and it really wasn't. It was a time when all the music had just moved from this vinyl format to a format where you could just download it off your computer and play. And so I would come and I would work on music at home and find some to put on these thumb drives, and I would take it and I'd be like, hey, I found this song. And I would give them music. And so they loved it. There was, like, a value exchange for them. And so there was A Friday night. And I still. I always. I called my friends that were with me at that time to see which DJs were playing. And we still can't figure out which DJ it was, but he was too drunk to play. That's all I remember. And I was in the bathroom, kind of doing my thing, and I heard this music just train wrecking, like, and train wrecking for the listeners, if you don't know. That's when all the music does not sync. You hear, like, somebody trying to mix it, and it just sounds awful. It's like two cats.

Oh, my God. This is your big moment. Your big break.

My big break. I dash, Sarah. I dash.

They're having an emergency. DJ emergency.

It was a club emergency for sure. So I dash out of the bathroom and I push him out of the way. And I remember looking, and no one was really dancing on the dance floor at this point. They're just like, that guy was out of the way. What's going on? Yeah. And then they're like, who's this guy up there? And I put on one of my favorite songs at the time is A Ponder Replay by Rihanna. And I played that, and they started dancing, and I knew what I was doing. I mixed that one into the next one, and I mixed that in the next one. All of a sudden, the whole club was just, like, just bouncing and dancing. And it was like that Eminem moment, right? I was like, oh, the moment. So that was my time.

And how did you feel in that moment?

Well, in that moment, I remember being super excited, elated. And there was, like, this group of people in this VIP booth, and they were just staring at me, like, arms crossed, kind of confused, kind of like, what is he doing? And so the DJ got back up and he, you know, kind of took over, and he. He was kind of upset with me, and I. And, yeah, I went back to the bathroom, and these guys that were up in the VIP booth followed me back into the bathroom, and they kind of cornered me, and I. I literally thought I was going to lose my job. And they kept asking me why was I in the bathroom. Like, what are you doing? And it didn't make sense to me until I. I told them that I, you know, this is my station. I'm sorry. I just went out there to just kind of keep the club going. It sounded awful. And they're like, you should not be in the bathroom. You should be playing. You're like the best DJ we've seen in here. Why are you in here? You need to meet Our friend Kevin Larson, who was a promoter, he is still a promoter in Colorado, and they said to meet Kevin, and Kevin would help me get on a better stage and play these shows. Wow, wonderful.

Your first time up and you got discovered.

Got discovered to. Yeah, to go. Go play an event for this mega promoter in Denver. And so over the series, or actually over the time of a few months, I got to play a couple different shows for Kevin. Then I had a big break. I played a New Year's party for him. And that New year's party had 2, 000 people at it. It was a White Rose gala party. And it was just like the. The epitome of what Denver had going on on New Year's at that time. And so I got to play that event. And ever since that point, it was just off to the races. And So I started DJing for, you know, corporate events. And then after I realized, like, I need to learn more about this, I ended up getting signed to an agency and I DJed for weddings, and I DJed for mitzvahs and high school graduations. I even DJed a. A couple wakes and some funerals. And so, you know, through the whole thing, I realized, which is great, that that time that I could have really been down low in the bathroom, just being like, this is my station, just unfulfilled, unsatisfied with the whole situation. I probably wouldn't have stepped into, like, you know what? I'm just gonna make the best out of this, figure out how to get from here to there. But it really came down to that deep, enriching drive to get from one spot to the next. But you. I would never have known that was going to take me as far as it has. Right. Like meeting you.

I hear that a lot. The low points are a pivotal point to, you know, get us to those. It's those low points can be those turning points that change our lives for the better, and we just don't know it at the time.

Yeah, you just.

It had. It had to happen. You had to be in that bathroom.

Had to be in that crapper, and it's where it's terrible in a spot.

And. And what I hear too, is you had to seize the opportunity. There was a moment that you had to be bold and jump up there and take over that DJ stand, which not everybody would do. Some people might be scared to do that, but you, like, you seized the moment.

Yeah, you have to be a little crazy to just kind of zip up there and do the thing. And I had Nothing to lose, let's be honest. What am I going to lose? My bathroom job? So there was a lot of. There was just a 0F's given at that point, and I had no right. And there, you know, and there was also a lot of fear, like, if I were to, like, lose that job. I mean, and even in the bathroom, there's nights I was making 300, 400 in tips, which was. Whoa. Which was something else that I really think. And especially in pertaining to your audience, that level of abundance that was coming to me came from that deep and rooted satisfaction with myself. And I was like, you know what? And it happened the first night. I remember the very first night way before, you know, weeks before I was going to get into that DJ booth. I made $250 or $270, something crazy that night. And that saved me, you know, that, like, it gave me this. This little fire and this little spark to go, okay, you're. You are going to get to do this job tomorrow. You can do this next thing. And. And so that little piece of me that I've always really stuck to is like, that little fire, that little piece of faith and hope that it is going to get better. And even though it's super uncomfortable, that this is not the forever thing. And so it's like the satisfaction in that, for me, just in thinking about it, is knowing that it's really. It's really what you make of it, and it's really how you can spin being uncomfortable, and it's really weird. And I was thinking about this because I was so excited to be on this show. I love. I love the guests, and I love what you're doing with this show to kind of show and to peel back the layers of how to be satisfied in places where you're not and how to be fulfilled when you are stuck. And what I've learned over these years, and especially from that point, is to really embrace and be super excited about being uncomfortable and, like, holding on to that, because where that break is and where that stuff falls apart is where all the growth is. And so I learned to just feel into that more. And I think, like, yeah, shows like this have really helped me understand, like, wow, this is where. This is where you can come to find out the best ways to embrace. Embrace the crap, embrace the uncomfortableness and how to look and, you know, at that brighter side, but understand that in. In the journey to fulfillment, you have to bend and you have to break. And that was one of the things that I learned the most from that. That situation.

Wow, that's a powerful story. And the other thing I love about it, too, is it actually wasn't that long ago. This was just about six years ago or so.

Yeah, it wasn't too long ago. No, it wasn't.

So, you know, I think sometimes we look at people and where they're at in life, and it just seems like, oh, my gosh, they're. You know, and I mean, we.

The.

The point is, like, things can shift, I think, quite rapidly and a lot can change. Right. Like, sometimes it doesn't take as long as we think. Like, now you're DJing. I think you even said you did a show. Don't you have a story about Necker Island?

Yeah, yeah. I've played for Richard Branson a couple different times now on his private island. And it was, you know, through a series of connection. And I think for me, actually, I know for me, one of my favorite things about my job and about my career path is it has really led me to be a deep connector, like learning how to connect with people. And that was one of the discoveries I made. One of the big pieces of my fulfillment is I love connecting with people and.

Right. And it's one of your superpowers.

Yes, definitely one of those.

Like, it's not. It's natural for you.

Yeah, yeah, that. Very much so. I mean, I made a bathroom job work. I have to have some sort of.

You got lots of tips in the bathroom?

In the bathroom? Yeah. Yeah. I've got to play for.

I don't make that kind of money in a bathroom.

I don't know that many people that do. I tip. I tip the bathroom attendants very well now, by the way, that is one of my things. There's. You're truly satisfied tipping the bathroom. Yeah, big time. But that for me is a huge. It's a huge piece of. Of what really lights me up is just knowing that I get to connect with people. And you know what's really interesting? One of the. I have, like, a couple coaches that I've worked with for a while, and they pointed out to me, they're like, do you realize why you probably got so good at performing and guitar and. And connecting with people? And it took me a while to realize it, but for me, I really. I really was scared to be alone and that learning how to perform and do those things was how I coped with abandonment and how to not deal with that. So I figured if I got really good at these things, that it would actually keep people around me, and that's why I got so good at that stuff. And so when I realized that, it was like a light bulb moment for me because it really took. It took me a minute to step back and look at how. How that big fear of mine to be left alone has spurred me on to do some incredible things. And I. I kind of present that in this forum with you because when you asked you, like, what are some things that truly satisfy you and help you feel totally fulfilled? It is. It's the realization, like, looking at how far you can go when you kind of push yourself into that uncomfortable spot. And that, for me, is so satisfying now. It used to be terrifying, but now it's really. It's a really big piece of. Of what has made the. And shapes me and continues to shape me all the time. And that's something that I always try to. Even with my companies and how I've been running those. When we get into these jams where everyone's like, oh, my gosh, this is. I feel overwhelmed.

I feel like you're a little bit excited.

Like, ooh, growth opportunity. Exactly. It used to be so, so cheesy. You know, I'd hear people say, it's not a challenge. It's not a problem. It's a growth opportunity. And now I get it. It is a growth opportunity.

It's true. I think when we do personal development work and. And you know, we're on a life path that we are contemplating in a deep way.

Yeah.

You can make it fun and have grateful for those breakdowns and problems because you. Because, you know, okay, on the other side of this hot mess that's happening, something great. I'm gonna learn something wonderful. And you know it.

Yes. And. And you absolutely know it. Yeah, that's. That's really how I got. And when I ended up playing for Richard Branson, I. I met him through a group of entrepreneurs called the Mavericks, and that is spearheaded by a gentleman named Yannick Silver. And he used to have a couple really amazing events. He don't have them anymore, but it was Maverick Underground, and it was this marketing event, and I would DJ for those events, and that led me to them kind of bringing me into their family. And it was on my birthday. They were like, we have a gift for you. We need a DJ on Richard's island, and we want you to come with us. And it was like. It was just that amazing moment where all of this stuff that I had seen from a distance where I was like, oh, my gosh, it doesn't get worse than this. I saw myself in the bathroom. I saw myself doing all these terrible jobs. I saw all the stuff that had to culminate for me to, like, get to that spot and. Yeah. And then I was on a plane on my way to Necker island to play for him. And even then, I still went through some challenges because when I got to Mosquito Island, I wasn't allowed to be working. You know, I was just a guest. And so I didn't have a work visa or any of that stuff. I didn't know about it and they didn't tell me about it because they were just bringing me out. I wasn't getting paid to play or anything. And when I got there. Well, actually, I was getting paid a little bit, but it didn't matter. I got there and they said that I couldn't go on the island because I didn't have my work visa and I didn't have my stuff. And so I had come so far, Sarah. And then they stopped me. They stopped me right, right at the gate. And I remember they actually put me in the plane and flew me back before I was able to go back. And so can you imagine all that excitement? I get to do this. I'd made this announcement on social media. Everyone was cheering for me. They're like, we're so excited for you.

And wait, so what happened?

I know I get back and I'm on the main line. I. I was calling everybody. I was. I had people praying for me. They're like, you're going to get on there. And. And Richard called the. Richard called and said, let him in. That's my personal dj. And they let me in. It was pretty crazy. So they had.

Yeah, that's how that goes.

Yeah, that's how that goes.

There's always rules that can be broken if you're rich and famous enough.

Yeah. Oh, absolutely. I mean, it didn't even. Like, as soon as that call came, they were very apologetic to me. They're like, oh, wow, welcome back. We're really sorry that happened. I was like, wow. Yeah, pays to be a billionaire.

So you went and how was it? Tell us the secrets of the island, or are you not allowed to because you signed a confidentiality agreement?

Well, the secrets of the island, they don't have any, really, other than, you know, you hear some of the most amazing stories from. From that perspective. Right. So one of the craziest secrets I heard on that island was. And this was a couple years ago, and I guess it's not really a secret, but the way that they think and this might be something that's a little bit more directed at your listeners when it comes to fulfillment on Richard Branson's side of the world. He was not talking about how he can build this next company or what, you know, what his companies are doing monetarily. He was actually talking about going interstellar, how we're going to populate other planets. His fulfillment level for pushing the human race forward is so high. That is what satisfies him now. That's like. So it. It really turned me around to, like, what is the basics in life? You know, you want to have a good company, you want to have these things. He has over 300 companies. It's insane. And so when you look at, like, how does somebody like that stay motivated?

Thinking big.

He's thinking.

He's thinking real big.

He's thinking out off the planet. Yeah, he's off the planet big. So it was just incredible for him to just to share that with us and how he was thinking so huge when we were on that island too. He was making the deal where he was selling Virgin Airlines to Alaska. And so if you can imagine that he's with us one minute and we see him walking off, and that was like number three on his to do list for the day kind of thing, you know, cell, airline. And so he was walking off, and I remember they're asking, where are you going? We got the party going on. He's like, I just gotta go. I just gotta go sell the airline real fast. And I'll be back in a minute, sign my papers for the thousands of employees and everybody that are. Are all involved in this whole migration. And it was. It's just crazy to see that level of. Of what he does. But his true happy place, where he feels the most at home, is on that island, swimming. He'll swim like three to five miles a day. He'll still kite surf. He'll do all those things. So after all said and done, all the amazing, huge things that he's accomplished and will accomplish, his true, deepest sense of, like, satisfaction, I guess, would be the best thing is we see on a kite board or when he's just swimming in the ocean. And there's a lot you can take from that. Right. It's like this whole.

Yeah.

And then we're doing the same thing.

Simpler. It's simpler than we think.

Yes, exactly. And that's why you show, like, what.

Makes us happy and satisfied can be the little simple things.

Yeah. And it should be the little simple things, right? Yeah, I think.

Anyway, so what makes you most satisfied in life these days, Sammy?

Well, I would allude to what we talked about in the beginning, for sure. That deep sense of purpose. Right. Being uncomfortable, but not for long. I like to be uncomfortable and then get. Figure out that. That the way out of it. But the things that make me this most satisfied right now, where I. I think what I notice when I'm satisfied too, is like an overall body high. What when you talk to somebody or you have a situation happening and you get the flutters and you get super excited about something, I think that's how your emotional guidance system lets you know that you are in the right spot, doing the right thing.

Yeah.

And I think for me currently, I've been building out companies for podcast production and for performance. And one of the things that's been really satisfying for me is when the team is just happy and fulfilled and excited about what we're doing, you know, and when they're talking about the next show and how everything's working together. Cause there's a lot of intricate parts to making a show work, as you know. Yeah.

And so, yes, I'm learning.

And. Yeah. And so what we've really. What has been crazy because I thought it would be the fulfillment part. I thought. And how excited I'd be is when we hit a milestone, like when we had 20 clients and this and that. But it's. It's not that. It's been the small things, like when I get our. We have a Monday scrum every each week. And trust me, the girls have come to the. To that. To that call. I call it the call of greatness. Every Monday, they've come to that call, not feeling great and that.

Right.

That really. It motivates me, but it also deflates me a bit. And what I've noticed is that the deep satisfaction and fulfillment for me right now has been when I watch the team's work, when things really happen. Well. And then on the other side of my performance side, when I see an event go off without a hitch and everything is like, yeah, amazing. Or the party inside of the event, like that Mindshare party where you dressed as Beetlejuice, like that. That is deep.

You guys can see video of that on Instagram, right?

Yeah. Yeah.

Like when the music is popping and the dance floor is popping and yeah, it's all syncing together.

There's nothing like it. You got. You have everybody's smiles on their face and they're all together. They're all united as one. And that is such a good feeling. And I think, too, because I love connections so much and because I love watching those people come together, it's such a really elated feeling for me when those folks walk off arm in arm, you know, hand, you know, arm over each other's shoulders, walking, and so high on how much fun they just had. That, to me, is. Is a really amazing feeling. And it's something that as a performer, you always dream of having. And that's something that we always work for as performers. So those are the things that really keep me satisfied in the event space, in my career space. But just like Richard Branson, just like a ton of my other friends, I also. You can't see it now, but there's a little array of surfboards that are hanging on my wall. Surfing.

I knew you're gonna say that.

Surfing makes me. Put me on a surfboard. Put me on a surfboard, and I am one, one happy, happy clam.

So I'm hearing that satisfaction is not a solo job. It's a community effort.

Yeah.

And we can find more satisfaction by creating satisfaction amongst our teams and community of people.

Absolutely. Well, we're very social creatures. That's something that people overlook a lot. They say, you know, my internal satisfaction comes from just this meditation and feeling centered and aligned. And I would. I would argue to say that that comes from a deep sense of purpose. And as social creatures, we really have that in us. To be in communion and to be around folks that uplift us and to learn from everybody and to learn from those around us. And that for me, the. The reason that I do all this stuff is to be connected. Like the surfing. As much as I like to say it's a solo thing, I'm way more. Way more adamant to go out and surf when my friends are all going. So we're all out there paddling and sitting on the water. It becomes a very social time. But, yeah, that's. It's. It's all about connection for me. So that's where my deepest sense of. Of satisfaction comes from.

I love it. Yeah, I'd agree. And in balance, you know, like, being able to be satisfied by ourselves and with ourselves and then our connection to ourselves and then also in community. Like, we need both.

Oh, we definitely need both.

Quiet time, or I do. I need quiet time by myself and connection time with people.

Oh, and I guess, too, I always had a question, because you are the satisfaction queen. You're on the quest to find, like, the things that get people the most fulfilled and help them really find the answers to you know not just satisfaction but just true fulfillment in their lives. Do you have ideas and tips like for us as, as high performing entrepreneurs to like get back in that state of flow and to get back into that. I know that it's, I mean, I'm.

On a curious quest about it as much as you guys are and just trying to understand it better. But I am working on a book about it so that will have lots of information.

Good, good.

So the are you satisfied book will come out at some point. So there's so many things that I'm contemplating around the topic. So there's a lot of, you know, themes that I see and you know, I think one really strong point is just.

To be, tap into who you are and do it your way and be you. Like it's, you know, that authenticity piece. Nobody can tell you. I can't tell you how to create a satisfying life for you. That's going to be an inside job and it's going to take you, getting to know you and being you, you know, and being bold enough to, to live the way you want to live, not how the world is saying we should. So I think that's, I mean there's so many important pieces to it, but that's, that's a big one to me. It's like do it your way.

Do it your way. I love that. Do it your way from the bathroom. Get from the bathroom. Figure out how to get shots and drinks and girls DJs. That's totally my way.

I mean.

Yeah, I love that.

Whatever it, yeah, like whatever the way is now, Sami, I think you are a published author now. Is that true?

I am a published author. Yeah. We had a group book, thanks for asking. It's so funny. I keep forgetting about this. I was a contributor on a book called When Love Speaks and that was an incredible, incredible project and very mission driven book written by 44amazing individuals spearheaded by Maya Camarota, who is an incredible coach. Coach, life coach, business coach, all of it. And she got 44 contributions of these stories that just got put into this book and it just got released. It was featured in Rolling Stone magazine. It was the number four best gift idea for 2021, which is amazing. It's so cool to see that. And we're right next to Adele in Rolling Stone and. Yeah. And then it went international number one bestseller on Amazon in 15 different countries and so wonderful. Yeah.

So we'll put the link to that in the show notes in case people want to read that.

Yeah, absolutely. And that too, you know that came. The story that's shared in there. The story that I shared in there, Sarah, is a story that really was another low point in my life. It actually was. I'm adopted from the Philippines, and I was about to go back on this trip to find my orphanage and to find this. The. The other pieces of my family. And I had no idea what I was getting into. And the story that is contributed in this book is when I had, like, a full breakdown, you know, another break. And there was just this moment where I had been in this Denver nightlife scene. Things had been really, really touch and go. I mean, if you imagine I went from the bathroom attendant to DJing all these events and DJing in clubs and being in clubs almost three to four nights a week. So I picked up.

Are you partying too hard?

I was partying way too hard. I was out of control. I had a growing substance, like a substance problem. It was just. It was. You know, it's just what happens if you're not. If you're not awake to what is really going to be healthy for you. And I thought it was. You know, I looked back on it. I was always telling my story. I was like, I'm gonna go to the Philippines. I want to save the kids. The. From where I'm at, I always had this giving nature to me about it, about going back one day and saving kids and. And just doing this huge, you know, philanthropic mission to. I don't know what save the kids meant at the time. I was just, I'm gonna go back. And that was just in me. But the. The track and trajectory I was on was not going to get me there. And the story that was submitted is when I had a real big breakdown and I learned the origin of where I was abandoned. And I was left. I was basically left in a shoebox in a dumpster. And that's how.

Oh, my God.

It was. Yeah, that was. And I didn't know this until my parents gave me this. This incredible array of documents that I never opened, never looked at until it was like two days before we were leaving. It might have even been the same night. It was very close to the night that we were leaving to go to the Philippines. And I was. My mom stopped me in my tracks. She's like, you need to slow down for a minute. And she could just. My mom just has that sense. Parents have that sense. She's like, you need to take the documents that we. That we gave you. I don't remember when we gave those to you, but you've had them for a while. You need to go through them and read in them. And what was in there was my origin story. It told me about how I was left. I was abandoned, and I had never read it before. And that was this moment. It just shifted. Like the whole world shifted for me. And I was. Was broken open a bit. It was the first time I could ever feel again. And for. For this, you know, for this show, it's really important for people to understand, like, to understand your true. Your true center point where you're actually going to be fulfilled and feel that fulfillment. You need to have emotions and you need to feel those again. And I was so numb to them because I was in this space of parties and perpetual emotion. And sometimes it doesn't need to be a party. Sometimes it's an addiction to just work, work, work, work, work, work. In our. In our field, I think we see that all the time. People just work, work, work, work, work. They don't feel anything. They don't. They don't take a minute to pause and stop. And that's. For me, this was that moment where I had to pause and stop and I felt again. And it was a. It was, you know, for lack of a better term, as a. As a straight panic attack and a breakdown that I had. And that, thank God I had it before I went, because that could have happened when I was in the Philippines on the grounds at my orphanage, which I could see that being really bad. So, yeah, that's a story that was in there. And it was. You know, it was. It took a long time for me to be able to share that story and feel okay about it because it was very tender. And it's been really fun to see how effective that story's been to help other people see the shadows in their life and where they may not be feeling as much. And the story's called an army of Angels. And I really, truly believe that there's a. An army of angels that have been guiding me, protecting me, and leading me to amazing people and places. And it's been fun to. To learn to tap back into it. I feel like there's. They're with me all the time on the ocean, and dolphins will show up when we're surfing and the places that we've been. And I think for where I'm at now, actually, I know where I'm at now has been divinely guided in a lot of ways. And so it's very fun to see that come to light in a book. And I can share that with everybody.

Wonderful. I can't wait to read it. And yes, angels are real. I love angels. And you are divinely guided. And we all are divinely guided.

Totally.

Oh, well, what's next for you? What can we say to. To close any last burning.

Burning things. Words. Yeah.

That you want to share with people?

I would just say get a job in a bathroom and really get yourself going.

Positioned position for a breakdown and break.

Yeah.

To be.

Really. To be. No, I would. I'll just. Don't be.

I feel like one of your main messages is don't be afraid or. Or blocking the. The breakdowns that need to happen or the. The challenges like embrace and dive into those hard, tough, chaotic moments because.

Beautiful things can happen from those places.

I couldn't have said it better. That's exactly what I was thinking is. Yeah, just embrace it. It's like the beauty's in the breakdown. Absolutely.

Yeah. And I would say don't be afraid to be you and fully express who you are. And I'm surprised you didn't comment on this, but I'm wearing a onesie, if you didn't notice.

Yes.

Let me just.

Let me see.

You can't see this on audio, but.

Oh, my God, look at that sweet onesie. I thought it was just a hoodie. It looks amazing.

No, it's a onesie. And that was part of my. It kind of fits with my main message today. And I've been too shy to wear it with other guests, but I thought, well, I can wear a onesie with Sammy. That'll be cool. That's what I'm saying. And that's part of me, you know, getting bolder and expressing who I am. So the next. The next step will be to wear this as a doctor to the clinic. You think that'll fly?

I think it'll be great. Look at.

That'll be a big.

Who is Robin Williams?

Sarah doesn't care about anything anymore. She is who she is. She. She's Dr. Murphy in a onesie.

Well, I don't even think you've told everybody about your dreams to be a dancer.

Well, I am a dancer. Yes. And that's part of what brings me good, great, great, deep, full satisfaction and joy. Probably like you're surfing. I'm not going to get on a surfboard, but.

Dancing is deeply fulfilling for me.

Well, then I would say that we need to go dancing. Toot sweet. For sure.

Anytime, all day, every day. I'm ready to dance.

I love it. Thank you so much for having me on. I love your show. I love being the producer of your show, and I love seeing you grow and like all the amazing guests that you've had on so far. And I'm just happy to be on the journey with you.

Well, thank you. I. I couldn't be doing it without you. So I appreciate your guidance as I'm such a newbie here. And yeah, looking forward to evolving the story with you.

Me too. Yay.

All right, thanks, Sammy.

Bye.

Thanks for listening to the Are you satisfied Podcast. Links for any mentions from this episode are available in the show Notes. If you'd like to connect with me, go to Dr. Sarah murphy.com that's drsaramerphy.com Also, don't forget to subscribe to this podcast. Definitely tell all your friends about it and leave a review. See you next week.

Sat.